Single women over 30

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M

Mooky

Guest
#1
#1
Hi all,

I just watched a video clip about "neo-masculinity" as a backlash to third wave feminism, which according to the clip was responsible for mens confusion about women etc. etc.

That aside, it was said in the clip that womens "peak of attractiveness" was during their 20's due to health, beauty and fertility but that this quickly plummeted when they hit the age of 30 - whereas men (assuming they adopted this "neo-masculinity" thing) just increased in attractiveness due to increase of resources and influence.

What do you guys think? Is it the norm for men (christian or non-christian) to look for a partner who is in her 20's - even if he is 20 years older? Or is that a practice for men who are going through a mid- life crisis ( or is just worldly)?And do you think that when it comes to age , that men really have an advantage over women in finding a suitable partner?(Apart from the biological clock?)

Anyway, for those interested in the clip , here it is : [video=youtube;3qHnIp-WzCI]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qHnIp-WzCI[/video]

(Disclaimer : I do not necessarily agree nor disagree with what has been said in the clip - I merely see it as food for thought and discussion.)
 
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C

coby

Guest
#2
#2
Mooky said:
Hi all,

I just watched a video clip about "neo-masculinity" as a backlash to third wave feminism, which according to the clip was responsible for mens confusion about women etc. etc.

That aside, it was said in the clip that womens "peak of attractiveness" was during their 20's due to health, beauty and fertility but that this quickly plummeted when they hit the age of 30 - whereas men (assuming they adopted this "neo-masculinity" thing) just increased in attractiveness due to increase of resources and influence.

What do you guys think? Is it the norm for men (christian or non-christian) to look for a partner who is in her 20's - even if he is 20 years older? Or is that a practice for men who are going through a mid- life crisis ( or is just worldly)?And do you think that when it comes to age , that men really have an advantage over women in finding a suitable partner?(Apart from the biological clock?)

Anyway, for those interested in the clip , here it is : [video=youtube;3qHnIp-WzCI]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qHnIp-WzCI[/video]

(Disclaimer : I do not necessarily agree nor disagree with what has been said in the clip - I merely see it as food for thought and discussion.)
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I don't think that's the norm. In Holland what amazes me is those young guys going after women who are 15 years older.
 
Thanatos

Thanatos

Banned
#3
Jan 13, 2016
165
1
0
#3
I've been reading studies that show as we age, we don't stop being attracted to younger women, but rather, our age range continually expands as we age.

For example: A 20 year old man finds 20 year old women attractive but finds 80 year old women unattractive. Fast-forward 60 years from now, he's 80, and he will still find 20 year old women attractive as well as 80 year old women.

I'm not sure if I entirely agree or disagree with this relatively new school of thought, but it does have several valid points to consider as to why older men go after significantly younger women.
 
M

Mooky

Guest
#5
#5
Isn't it a bit perverse though, to want to date someone who for all intensive purposes could be your daughter/son?Is this old fashioned or do people agree with me?What is the appropriate age gap to have in a relationship?
 
Utah

Utah

Banned
#6
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
252
0
#6
Mooky said:
Isn't it a bit perverse though, to want to date someone who for all intensive purposes could be your daughter/son?Is this old fashioned or do people agree with me?What is the appropriate age gap to have in a relationship?
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Funny how some things are moral but illegal while other things are legal but immoral.
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#7
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#7
Everything I've read seems to indicate that yes, a man's attraction to a woman in her 20s would not be impacted by his own aging process. What Thanatos says makes sense. Of course, the same could be true for woman who would find a man in his 20s attractive while she herself is in her 50s. But most women would accept that while he is nice to look at, he would still be unsuitable for marriage to her. Maybe that is the difference.

What I found alarming in that video was the comment about testosterone levels decreasing rather rapidly in the last several decades. I did some digging and saw that in the last 30 years or so, the general level of testosterone in men has declined by 17% altogether compared to a man in the 80s. (Or 1.2% lower per year.) That's a sizable chunk! WHAT is causing this and how might it impact relationships in the years to come?

Generational decline in testosterone levels observed | Endocrine Today
 
Thanatos

Thanatos

Banned
#8
Jan 13, 2016
165
1
0
#8
Mooky said:
Isn't it a bit perverse though, to want to date someone who for all intensive purposes could be your daughter/son?Is this old fashioned or do people agree with me?What is the appropriate age gap to have in a relationship?
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If I understand what you're saying, are you saying it's perverse because they are old enough to be their son/daughter?

If we base what is appropriate off of your belief that it is perverse for someone to be with a partner who is young enough to be their son/daughter, then I'd say no older/younger than 12-14 years of age (the age of puberty).

I personally think the reason people think it's "perverse" is because of how religious organizations have exploited young women... no, excuse me, young girls. I personally don't see it as perverse if a 35 year old was dating a 48 year old, provided they are equally yoked in spiritual and temporal matters.

In my youth, dating an older girl was quite prestigious with the guys. There is even a double-standard with the sentiments of a female teacher unlawfully engaging in relations with her male student(s). The older the young men become, the less enticing it is for them to be with older women. Then they grow up and do a 180 by dating girls significantly younger. I sometimes think people just want what they can't have.
 
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Thanatos

Thanatos

Banned
#9
Jan 13, 2016
165
1
0
#9
Scratch that, it's not just some religious organizations, but human trafficing has given an even more negative stigma of age gaps.
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
#10
#10
I have to agree that beauty is fleeting...I mean it's even in the Bible for crying out loud. LOL So obviously men are more attracted to 20 something women.

The thing is though that everyone (not just a woman) is going to be more attractive in their 20s than in any other decade of life. Of course this is a general rule of thumb. It DOES NOT APPLY TO EVERYONE! But it's mostly true. Men in their 20s usually look better than those in their 30s, same for women. It even goes within the 20s! I don't look as nice as I did 4 years ago. That's just the way life is. Skin sags, wrinkles develop, weight packs on...etc. Sure you can do things to keep yourself looking good for longer, but for the most part those early 20 something years are the ones where you look your best.

I have some classmates from school that are my age and they don't have hair anymore or they've gained about 50 pounds. These people are still in their 20s.
This might be a subtopic...but I think millennials are aging faster than the pervious generations were. I wonder why that is.

But this also brings up another point. Women look for resources (mostly money) and men want beauty. This is why women go after guys that have their finances together and guys go after very pretty girls.

I don't think that men have an advantage over women in the dating game because money is difficult to come by...and beauty for women has an expiration date. So I think it's mostly fair.

In no way do I want to make anyone feel bad about their age or their financial situation...I'm just answering the question. I think people get a little too hung up on numbers and forget that maybe you can get along with someone a few years older/younger or someone who doesn't make as much as you do. ;)
 
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Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#11
Aug 13, 2014
26,730
8,969
113
#11
Mooky said:
Isn't it a bit perverse though, to want to date someone who for all intensive purposes could be your daughter/son?Is this old fashioned or do people agree with me?What is the appropriate age gap to have in a relationship?
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Someone asked about the appropriate age gap? Funny you should ask: There's an xkcd for that. :D :D :D



The full analysis is of course much more complex, but I can't stick around to discuss it because I have a date. ;)
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#12
Jun 30, 2015
25,075
13,601
113
#12
Mooky said:
Isn't it a bit perverse though, to want to date someone who for all intensive purposes could be your daughter/son?Is this old fashioned or do people agree with me?What is the appropriate age gap to have in a relationship?
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A general guideline is 'half your age plus seven', as in, don't date a woman who is younger than that number. It's certainly not a rule though; more of an opportunity to chide a brother for his selection. :)

Well, Lynx beat me to it (catlike reflexes and all that!).
 
BruceWayne

BruceWayne

Senior Member
#13
Aug 7, 2013
3,694
357
83
Gotham City
#13
I don't necessarily think it's the norm for older men to look for gals in their 20s, but I don't think it's something that's unusual or wrong. I would say those relationships are probably more viable long-term, as opposed to an older woman going for a younger guy; More times than not that is probably just going to be a fling.. for a lot of reasons.

And I disagree that a woman's beauty quickly plummets at 30. It really depends on the person. I've seen plenty of women in their 30s, even early 40s, that still look very attractive.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#14
Aug 2, 2009
24,641
4,300
113
#14
There was this show on cable called Weeds and in a couple of episodes one of the characters who's in his 30's finds out that this pretty, young waitress (around 20) is attracted to him (she made it obvious) so he asks her out and she's like in love with him and he thinks its great until she has this get together with her friends and they start asking him all these cheesy questions about the 80's and he notices how totally different the personalities of her generation are compared to his... and so yeah, he had to break it off with her..
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#15
#15
zeroturbulence said:
There was this show on cable called Weeds and in a couple of episodes one of the characters who's in his 30's finds out that this pretty, young waitress (around 20) is attracted to him (she made it obvious) so he asks her out and she's like in love with him and he thinks its great until she has this get together with her friends and they start asking him all these cheesy questions about the 80's and he notices how totally different the personalities of her generation are compared to his... and so yeah, he had to break it off with her..
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One of my friends was 28 or 29 when she married her husband last year and he's in his late 40s, on his 2nd career after retiring from the military....I remember going to their housewarming party and she was snapping pics with her polaroid and I was so enchanted by the camera. he said "screw you jerks acting like this is some kind of novelty, I grew up with this" :D:D

Right before their wedding, he had taken her aside and had a talk with her that went something to the effect of "hey, i don't know if you knew this, but I'm an old man. you sure you want to go through with this?"


They're very sweet together.
 
Born_Again

Born_Again

Senior Member
#16
Nov 15, 2014
1,585
129
63
#16
Hellooo said:
One of my friends was 28 or 29 when she married her husband last year and he's in his late 40s, on his 2nd career after retiring from the military....I remember going to their housewarming party and she was snapping pics with her polaroid and I was so enchanted by the camera. he said "screw you jerks acting like this is some kind of novelty, I grew up with this" :D:D

Right before their wedding, he had taken her aside and had a talk with her that went something to the effect of "hey, i don't know if you knew this, but I'm an old man. you sure you want to go through with this?"


They're very sweet together.
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But that's a good point. A guy is say in his 30's or 40's.. and early 20 something is crazy for an older guy. There is a huge maturity difference... Not to mention, the novelty factor for both parties is bound to wear off, especially when he is even older and she is still fairly young.. I don't see that going well.
 
T

Txroads

Guest
#17
#17
I think people concentrate way too much on the numbers....
Unfortunately, the days of real talking and looking past the book cover are long gone.....
 
J

JeniBean

Guest
#18
#18
So as a woman in her 40's who looks no where near it. I am asked out often by twenty something and thirty something men. Last person I dated for many years ended up being a lot younger. By the time I saw the ID I was a year in the relationship. The point is I never really look at the numbers. As numbers mean nothing. Its the love of GOD, the passion for GOD and life. The experiences and what they bring into your life that matters. I need a crazy sense of humor like mine, an adventurous person, a loving, compassionate and kind person. Numbers and looks are not what I first notice about someone. In fact they are far from what I look for.
 
Utah

Utah

Banned
#19
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
252
0
#19
JeniBean said:
So as a woman in her 40's who looks no where near it. I am asked out often by twenty something and thirty something men. Last person I dated for many years ended up being a lot younger. By the time I saw the ID I was a year in the relationship. The point is I never really look at the numbers. As numbers mean nothing. Its the love of GOD, the passion for GOD and life. The experiences and what they bring into your life that matters. I need a crazy sense of humor like mine, an adventurous person, a loving, compassionate and kind person. Numbers and looks are not what I first notice about someone. In fact they are far from what I look for.
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My last serious girlfriend was 10 years younger than I am and the difference in maturity levels was staggering. Now of course that's not true in all cases but it definitely is an important factor one needs to take in to account. Playful and mature is an amazing combination, but playful and immature stinks.
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#20
Aug 12, 2011
10,460
2,683
113
#20
since we're talking about age... lol

when i was in my early/mid 20s, i would have never really considered a guy in his 30s. as i approached 30, late 30s/early 40s wasn't looking that bad at all to me. lol. of course, i would have preferred someone around my age, but i wasn't going to mind if he wasn't.
 
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