I had forgotten about this thread. lol I forgot i was the one who started it lol. Still not convinced, though.
Why do women and men want a relationship?
- Thread starter Born_Again
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coby
Guest
And what is the right one? If I can be completely happy without "her" then what makes anyone the right one? Right for what? Right for the expectation that we all should be married? Im not looking for anyone. Simply because I don't want anyone. For those who don't know, I didn't want to be married the first time. I was threatened with her taking our daughter away from me if I didn't marry her. Hindsight.. I should have let her do it. At least then, I would only be paying child support on 1 kid instead of 4. I never wanted to be married to anyone.
So are you waiting for a post that will convince you? No one can convince you but yourself. Mistakes are part of life but regrets, bitterness and unforgiveness will not make you completely happy as you claim to be.
Believe it or not, there is no bitterness or unforgiveness. The ex and I get along very well. We are both happier apart from each other. Yea, Im not a fan of the whole child support thing, but it is what it is. I see things the way I see them now because I have the opportunity to see thing from the outside looking in now. I am not, and never have been the hopeless romantic type. Am I looking for someone to convince me? No, not really. I more or less am trying to understand the emotionally co-dependent personality type.
Okay, tell me this. ( now that I think about it) What is the point if, noticeably on here I might add, its possible to still be 40, 50, or even 60 years old and still have the mindset of "Some day when I meet Mr. or Mrs. right? Really? My point behind that is, why keep lieing to ourselves? I don't understand it. Yea, we all get lonely. It happens. Its human nature. But, to think that being in a committed relationship will solve it is just asinine. Good friends can serve the same purpose.
Because, honestly, by now, it all sounds like "Somebody love me!!!! Please!!"
Look at Valentines day. You can be assured there is always one day a year that the lack of a companion is guaranteed to raise its head. So those who were already down about their situation will feel even worse. All because a holiday says "find someone to love". Rather weak minded I would say. Good marketing and media can dictate your emotions. Congratulations. C'mon, be in the world, not of it.
So what if its Gods will to not be with someone? What are the odds that you will still, daily, pray for the perfect guy/gal to come into your life only to be disappointed at the end of each day? Because its what you want. Not what you do or do not need.
This isn't bitterness or unforgiveness or regret. Its logical and reasonable.
BA
Sure you can be happy and functional alone but life with someone will make you happier and more alive. Friends cannot provide the level of intimacy that you need. And finding someone to love is not weakminded because love is only for the brave, for those who take the risk and who are not afraid to be vulnerable. And love knows no boundaries like age. You cant stop the oldies to find love because they are old. They can still dream to be happy. Dreams are not only for the young. The problem is when you are still young but your dreams are already gone. Surely not all dreams come true but it shouldnt stop you from dreaming and hoping and praying to God.
Very succinct and correct.. People are generally afraid to be alone and hormones do the rest.
Sounds like a jewelery commercial.
Yes, live in a dream and disregard the reality that is in front of you.
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coby
Guest
That's terrible. Sorry it was just a joke, the right one. At the end of the video he gives her car keys back and leaves because he just wants to be alone.
some time ago, a friend and i were talking with my pastor's wife. the topic was marriage. my friend told pastor's wife how she was ok being single and didn't know if she wanted to ever get married. she said she was in no rush to find someone. i mentioned i felt the same way. "if i get married, praise God. if i don't get married, praise God."
my pastor's wife (who has been married since she was 15) said she had a hard time understanding the idea. "being married is a blessing!" to which friend and i agreed. i guess people have a hard time accepting the idea of others saying "i don't wanna get married" because.... we're expected to get married? idk.
i don't remember why i posted this. lol!
my pastor's wife (who has been married since she was 15) said she had a hard time understanding the idea. "being married is a blessing!" to which friend and i agreed. i guess people have a hard time accepting the idea of others saying "i don't wanna get married" because.... we're expected to get married? idk.
i don't remember why i posted this. lol!
C
coby
Guest
Yes that's stupid those expectations. If people don't want to marry, great. It's maybe hard to understand, just like someone who doesn't want to marry can't understand why someone wants to. This guy I had a crush on can just go hiking for months alone and he loves it. Amazing. Someone said: could you stay alone in a house in the woods for a year without tv, internet, no human interaction? Yes sure great! he said. I'll just take some good books with me. I was like: What? Oh okay. One day no internet and I start to shake lol.
Thanks! Thats dreaming while wide awake. Better than sleepwalking or walking dead. Lol!
Would it not serve you better to pray to God that He guides you to His will? If you are praying for the perfect mate to come into your life, then what are you really putting first? Following Gods will is certainly less self-serving and following His will would also reveal if in fact you are to have such requested mate. So many get caught up in what God can do for them while neglecting what they can do for God. Stop putting God as your co-pilot and let Him fly the plane.
Stop dreaming of your "happily ever after" and look towards the service of God and what He has called you to do.
Born_Again:
My husband and I married for the first time in 2013. Both of us are in our forties.
Neither one of us were married before that.
Neither one of us were looking for a relationship.
We just got to know each-other, and our relationship blossomed to dating, then to a committed relationship, then to engagement and ultimately to marriage.
My husband and I married for the first time in 2013. Both of us are in our forties.
Neither one of us were married before that.
Neither one of us were looking for a relationship.
We just got to know each-other, and our relationship blossomed to dating, then to a committed relationship, then to engagement and ultimately to marriage.
Well, and to that point, you were'nt looking for it. And thats the point I was making in my last post.
God bless you both, btw.
J
jeremyPJ
Guest
this is a funny topic for me.
When I was working in a welding shop with a bunch of married guys (I was 23-29 while working there. 1988-1993), I HAD to get married. And was harassed all the time because i wasn't. Back then, it was the "thing to do". Get married and have kids. Had already married and divorced young.
and next job, same thing. Women harassed me too.
So I met someone and got married. She had two kids prior, whose dad taught them to be crappy to me. Yay...
i liked being married, we were in love for a while. But her friends and sister were jealous. I was a good man, they had come out of bad relationships. So they started bragging to her about how many men they had been with. She tole me once that she felt like she was missing out on something. Then we had my daughter. And her friends and sister convinced her to check out other alternatives. It was told she could move up in the company that way. So she did. now we are divorced, and I hope they are happy now. I know I am, because I don't put up with any of their crap now. And my girl is good.
Women wonder sometimes why guys are shy about marrying nowadays. They also wonder why men wish their women didn't have to work. They also wonder why men don't act like men anymore. I don't know any of the answers. I don't care anymore. I am Christian since 2 or 3 years ago, and so is my daughter. I hope after my MGTOW time (right now...), one day I will want to get married again.
But it certainly will have nothing to do with what society wants. First time I see something I don't like out of her, I'm running. The chaos people can cause makes it not worthy for a man to put up with. I realize women sometimes run into the same thing, and I totally understand and am sorry to hear of it. As far as intimacy, that's what bonds couples. But the world does everything it can to shatter that bond for couples. but I do long for true love again.
When I was working in a welding shop with a bunch of married guys (I was 23-29 while working there. 1988-1993), I HAD to get married. And was harassed all the time because i wasn't. Back then, it was the "thing to do". Get married and have kids. Had already married and divorced young.
and next job, same thing. Women harassed me too.
So I met someone and got married. She had two kids prior, whose dad taught them to be crappy to me. Yay...
i liked being married, we were in love for a while. But her friends and sister were jealous. I was a good man, they had come out of bad relationships. So they started bragging to her about how many men they had been with. She tole me once that she felt like she was missing out on something. Then we had my daughter. And her friends and sister convinced her to check out other alternatives. It was told she could move up in the company that way. So she did. now we are divorced, and I hope they are happy now. I know I am, because I don't put up with any of their crap now. And my girl is good.
Women wonder sometimes why guys are shy about marrying nowadays. They also wonder why men wish their women didn't have to work. They also wonder why men don't act like men anymore. I don't know any of the answers. I don't care anymore. I am Christian since 2 or 3 years ago, and so is my daughter. I hope after my MGTOW time (right now...), one day I will want to get married again.
But it certainly will have nothing to do with what society wants. First time I see something I don't like out of her, I'm running. The chaos people can cause makes it not worthy for a man to put up with. I realize women sometimes run into the same thing, and I totally understand and am sorry to hear of it. As far as intimacy, that's what bonds couples. But the world does everything it can to shatter that bond for couples. but I do long for true love again.
S
studentint7
Guest
Hello, and get your point, I to enjoy my own company, and believe you can have friends, family, jobs, careers, and that is enough
co-mingling and fellowshipping. However I believe dont quote me ,but what a man and women can share together is a reflection of the love God feels for us. Quite amazing !being a woman it is my desire to have a husband. That word itself is very strong , let alone God putting it inside of me. On the other hand for a man to find a woman is a good thing , we all can use any good thing we can get here on earth. Remeber selfishness is a route of evil, lets give and grow.
co-mingling and fellowshipping. However I believe dont quote me ,but what a man and women can share together is a reflection of the love God feels for us. Quite amazing !being a woman it is my desire to have a husband. That word itself is very strong , let alone God putting it inside of me. On the other hand for a man to find a woman is a good thing , we all can use any good thing we can get here on earth. Remeber selfishness is a route of evil, lets give and grow.
I have no idea, really i do not.
after 33 almost 34 years of being alone. I probably make a horrible boyfriend or husband.
after 33 almost 34 years of being alone. I probably make a horrible boyfriend or husband.
Of course, we make plans but God's will prevails. Love is His will for everyone. He did not put love in your heart for there to stay. Love is not love until you give it away. It's your choice not to give it away but you can run you can hide but you cant escape once God called you to give it away.