Opinion on praying for that someone special

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Txroads

Guest
#1
So, let's say someone said they had made a lot of mistakes and finally just decided I'm going to leave it up to God. God these are all the qualities I want in a man.. You meet and she says the exact same thing, you've got those qualities I prayed for and I want to do things right and wait until marriage. Time goes by maybe a month and she says I've prayed and prayed for God to make me feel something but I don't feel nothing. A month later she meets someone without the qualities but "oh the way he looked at me" and all the "waiting" went out the door. Nice guy looses... Again.... Stomp stomp.....
 
Nov 25, 2014
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#2
What exactly was it that the nice guy lost? A woman who doesn't know her own mind and who's lacking in ethics? Is that what nice guys want?

It's no wonder that so many nice girls are sitting in pews completely unnoticed.

 
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Txroads

Guest
#3
What exactly was it that the nice guy lost? A woman who doesn't know her own mind and who's lacking in ethics? Is that what nice guys want?

It's no wonder that so many nice girls are sitting in pews completely unnoticed.

No not at all.... But when someone says you have all the qualities you have been praying for and then the day they don't feel anything.... Makes you wonder what might be wrong with you...
 
D

dalconn

Guest
#4
No not at all.... But when someone says you have all the qualities you have been praying for and then the day they don't feel anything.... Makes you wonder what might be wrong with you...
Txroads, don't you remember in high school how the bad boys got all the hot girls?
 
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Txroads

Guest
#5
Txroads, don't you remember in high school how the bad boys got all the hot girls?
Hmmm.....cant remember if I was that bad.. Lol.
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#6
Being "nice" doesn't mean a woman owes you her affection. Sometimes the feelings just aren't there, it doesn't matter what you look like on paper.
Doesn't mean anything has to be wrong with either of you
 
T

Txroads

Guest
#7
Being "nice" doesn't mean a woman owes you her affection. Sometimes the feelings just aren't there, it doesn't matter what you look like on paper.
Doesn't mean anything has to be wrong with either of you
No being "nice" doesn't mean anyone owes you anything... It just seems that's one extreme to the other... Especially when the conversations were all....... Never mind... Thanks for the imput....
 

Born_Again

Senior Member
Nov 15, 2014
1,585
129
63
#8
What exactly was it that the nice guy lost? A woman who doesn't know her own mind and who's lacking in ethics? Is that what nice guys want?

It's no wonder that so many nice girls are sitting in pews completely unnoticed.

Hardly. Its more like "No wonder there are so many nice girls sitting in the pew with an unreasonable expectation of what "He" should be. Total double standard.
 
Nov 25, 2014
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#9
No not at all.... But when someone says you have all the qualities you have been praying for and then the day they don't feel anything.... Makes you wonder what might be wrong with you...
I don't get why you'd think it had anything to do with you. I think it has more to do with a woman being nutty and you happened to be in her path. I think it's likely she'd have said something similar to another decent man and then moved on to the less-than-decent one. What she said compared to her actions says something about HER, not YOU. It doesn't discredit or diminish any actual value you have as a man.
 
Nov 25, 2014
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#10
Hardly. Its more like "No wonder there are so many nice girls sitting in the pew with an unreasonable expectation of what "He" should be. Total double standard.
Yeah...apparently we need to establish some basic terminology.

It's not "nice" or "ethical" or "good" to have unrealistic expectations of other people. It's particularly unnice when people use these unrealistic expectations to belittle other people. Thus, by definition, no NICE GIRL is going to be sitting in a pew with unrealistic expectations that she uses as a sword to slash at men. Of course, there are some slightly screwy women that will do that...explain to me again why y'all would want these women?

As an aside, it's also not "nice" or "ethical" or "good" of a man to proclaim to the world how "nice" he is only to stamp his feet and throw a tantrum when he doesn't get his way with womankind. It's particularly unnice of these "nice" men to chase after screwy women, get burned, and then stamp their feet, throw tantrums, and belittle all single women for not falling into line with their wishes.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#11
Apparently most men don't recognize a good woman. Or they might recognize her but change their minds because a good woman have high but reasonable standards so they prefer screwy women who have no standards at all so they wont exert much effort.
 

Born_Again

Senior Member
Nov 15, 2014
1,585
129
63
#12
Yeah...apparently we need to establish some basic terminology.

It's not "nice" or "ethical" or "good" to have unrealistic expectations of other people. It's particularly unnice when people use these unrealistic expectations to belittle other people. Thus, by definition, no NICE GIRL is going to be sitting in a pew with unrealistic expectations that she uses as a sword to slash at men. Of course, there are some slightly screwy women that will do that...explain to me again why y'all would want these women?

As an aside, it's also not "nice" or "ethical" or "good" of a man to proclaim to the world how "nice" he is only to stamp his feet and throw a tantrum when he doesn't get his way with womankind. It's particularly unnice of these "nice" men to chase after screwy women, get burned, and then stamp their feet, throw tantrums, and belittle all single women for not falling into line with their wishes.
HAHAHA Yea, no animosity there! :D
 
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HonestlyHumbled

Guest
#13
People say a lot of things.. minds also change...
It does suck, but it is reality.
We've all had our share of heart break and disappointments. Maybe she wasn't actually right for you? If she were, she would of stayed. Just take it as God closing a door while he is opening others. Focus on your path and what really matters.
Nice guys only finish last with not so nice girls. Maybe you need to evaluate your wants? Maybe you're attracted to the wrong type and it stems from somewhere? It happens to both genders.
I could be wrong in everything I have said, just my opinion on an opinion :)
 
J

JeniBean

Guest
#14
I have a friend like that. She wants so and so qualities. She meets a guy with the qualities, however doesn't feel anything for them or they are bald, etc. It is the woman's self interest and nothing to do with you. There are many great, godly and nice woman who really seek the qualities and fall for the man with those qualities. I know this for a fact!!!!
 
C

coby

Guest
#15
No not at all.... But when someone says you have all the qualities you have been praying for and then the day they don't feel anything.... Makes you wonder what might be wrong with you...
Why? I wouldn't wonder if a guy said that but just think: thanks God! That wasn't him. Thanks for the clarity.
 
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coby

Guest
#16
So, let's say someone said they had made a lot of mistakes and finally just decided I'm going to leave it up to God. God these are all the qualities I want in a man.. You meet and she says the exact same thing, you've got those qualities I prayed for and I want to do things right and wait until marriage. Time goes by maybe a month and she says I've prayed and prayed for God to make me feel something but I don't feel nothing. A month later she meets someone without the qualities but "oh the way he looked at me" and all the "waiting" went out the door. Nice guy looses... Again.... Stomp stomp.....
I read that nice guys and nice girls are simply not attractive to a lot of people. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with them. A lot of people prefer the devil instead of God. Not because something's wrong with Him.
 
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HonestlyHumbled

Guest
#17
Sometimes attraction happen with insecurities and issues.
Broken people are attracted to broken people
Broken relationships don't work
Whole people are attracted to whole people
Whole relationships work
A person needs to become whole.. Change through Christ.. Changing through Christ will also change your wants.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#18
I read that nice guys and nice girls are simply not attractive to a lot of people. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with them. A lot of people prefer the devil instead of God. Not because something's wrong with Him.
Because only few follow the narrow path that leads to God. The rest prefer the wide and easy road to destruction.
 

spunkycat08

Senior Member
Dec 7, 2013
403
2
18
#19
Sometimes attraction happen with insecurities and issues.
Broken people are attracted to broken people
Broken relationships don't work
Whole people are attracted to whole people
Whole relationships work
A person needs to become whole.. Change through Christ.. Changing through Christ will also change your wants.
This reply describes the former female friend of my husband who continuously chased him while we were dating, while we were in a committed relationship, and up to the time when we got engaged. I had to tell my husband *who was my fiance at that time* that there had to be some changes regarding his friendship with her due to her behavior as well as her insecurities and issues.

God wanted him to be a whole person... not a broken person.
 
Nov 25, 2014
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#20
HAHAHA Yea, no animosity there! :D

It's not animosity. It's pragmatism. Most people define themselves to be "nice." This can be problematic when it comes to looking at uncomfortable, messy, or ugly sins in our lives. "But I'm a NICE person!" we say. So we advertise as "nice" all the while being unethical. Then other people end up saying things like, "Yeah, the NICE GIRLS all have unrealistic expectations," never bothering to evaluate that just because someone claims nicety doesn't make them good or ethical.

The same is true for all these self-reporting "nice" guys that get left behind. Lots of them aren't particularly nice or ethical. When relationships fall apart because of their lack of ethics or their underlying disdain for women, they don't self-examine and realize, "Wow! I'm really not all that nice." They just keep on telling the same story about how the problem is all these women who chase after bad boys

Here's the reality. If I must choose between a man who proclaims nicety, but who harbors hidden bitterness and meanness and a man who is an "out and proud" chaos guy, I'm going for the chaos guy. You know what you're getting up front, and they're probably a bit more exciting than the "nice" guy who'll spend months criticizing and chipping away at you so you fit some ideal in his head.