Others like me? Single and celibate?

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Lost_sheep

Guest
#1
#1
I'm curious if there are others here like me, who are single and wish to remain that way, and are serious enough about being single that they have been celibate or are still celibate?

I was married twice, and it didn't work out either time. I wasn't physical enough for either of them, so they sought pleasure from other men outside the confines of our marriage. I divorced my second wife a little over 5 years ago and I haven't had any wish to meet anyone new, so I've been celibate for that time. By celibate, I mean totally.

Are there other celibates here, or am I the weird guy again? LOL
 
Born_Again

Born_Again

Senior Member
#2
Nov 15, 2014
1,585
129
63
#2
Lost_sheep said:
I'm curious if there are others here like me, who are single and wish to remain that way, and are serious enough about being single that they have been celibate or are still celibate?

I was married twice, and it didn't work out either time. I wasn't physical enough for either of them, so they sought pleasure from other men outside the confines of our marriage. I divorced my second wife a little over 5 years ago and I haven't had any wish to meet anyone new, so I've been celibate for that time. By celibate, I mean totally.

Are there other celibates here, or am I the weird guy again? LOL
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Nope. You are not weird. I am remaining that way as well. I was married for 10 years. After a while, you dont even think about it. Its a very difficult thing to do in this day and age. But, if you keep God first in your life, its smooth sailing. :)

I commend you for that decision.

God Bless, brother!
 
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Lost_sheep

Guest
#3
#3
Thank you for your encouragement.

Celibacy just seems natural for me, so I never dealt with thinking about what I was missing - I've never missed it. You're right though that being chaste and remaining so in this day and age is a challenge - not because of temptation, or at least not in my case - but more so because there is so much "sex" in media, music, TV, and every place else. Kind of can't get away from it, or at least not easily.
 
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Txroads

Guest
#4
#4
(whispering..... I don't think your weird... If you have that kind of self control more power to you)
 
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Stone5524

Guest
#5
#5
I'm 29 I only had sex with one girl that I was with for two and a half years between 16-19. Only girl that ever mattered but that's my own story.

No I don't see god putting the same gift to me that I once threw away. If he did...well there are few things better I can think of than real love, maybe none. I'd consider it, but much of me would fear me falling into lust and seeing her as an object of pleasure. I can't do that again
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#6
Mar 13, 2014
42,407
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Tennessee
#6
I did 18 years of celibacy after my divorce in 1984, mainly to avoid unnecessary heartache and headache. No, you're definitely not weird. Very commendable, actually.
 
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HonestlyHumbled

Guest
#7
#7
Celibacy is awesome.
No drama, no distractions, no complications. And there are many other benefits. No std's, no unplanned pregnancies etc.
Consider it immoral fasting. You cannot live without food, but a person can live without sex.
So kudos to celibacy and all those that follow!
 
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Lost_sheep

Guest
#8
#8
HonestlyHumbled said:
Celibacy is awesome.
No drama, no distractions, no complications. And there are many other benefits. No std's, no unplanned pregnancies etc.
Consider it immoral fasting. You cannot live without food, but a person can live without sex.
So kudos to celibacy and all those that follow!
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Fasting from immorality. I like it! I'm going to use that. I like it because instead of presenting it like I am missing out on something, instead I am choosing to not participate in something I don't enjoy anyhow.

That's about enough to make me smile.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#9
Aug 2, 2009
24,641
4,300
113
#9
I celibrate my singleness all the time. Sometimes I overdo it though...

capa.jpg
 
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NestForASparrow

Member
#10
Feb 10, 2014
140
46
28
#10
I wouldn't call myself celibate because I probably will become married at one point in my life, but I don't pursue relationships and have no desire to get intimate outside of marriage.
 
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Txroads

Guest
#11
#11
NestForASparrow said:
I wouldn't call myself celibate because I probably will become married at one point in my life, but I don't pursue relationships and have no desire to get intimate outside of marriage.
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((winks.... Sssshhh....you go girl..... Sneaks off quietly))
 
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HonestlyHumbled

Guest
#12
#12
Lost_sheep said:
Fasting from immorality. I like it! I'm going to use that. I like it because instead of presenting it like I am missing out on something, instead I am choosing to not participate in something I don't enjoy anyhow.

That's about enough to make me smile.
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Thou shalt not steal... lol.. I kid
The world has taught us to see many things as "normal" which are not.
Do not ever question your actions when you are living according to the world

John 1:1 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."

And I heard something cool once... B.I.B.L.E = Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. Follow the instructions :)
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#13
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
339
83
#13
Lost_sheep said:
Are there other celibates here, or am I the weird guy again? LOL
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Your no weirder than Christ... Overcoming the flesh is an accomplishment imo. And Paul implied that your better off; "Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (1 Corinthians 7:7-9). I figure that there won't be any sex or marriage in heaven, so there's no harm in getting use to that idea in the here and now :) But of course, we won't have any raging hormones in heaven either!
 
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Lost_sheep

Guest
#14
#14
Dan58 said:
Your no weirder than Christ... Overcoming the flesh is an accomplishment imo. And Paul implied that your better off; "Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (1 Corinthians 7:7-9). I figure that there won't be any sex or marriage in heaven, so there's no harm in getting use to that idea in the here and now :) But of course, we won't have any raging hormones in heaven either!
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Thank you for that. I wasn't aware that Paul had that viewpoint. It certainly gives me a different perspective.
 
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jeremyPJ

Guest
#15
#15
I am celibate too, at least until I marry again, which is by my choice going to be a while. Not that I don't like women, just that I was stuck in a very toxic relationship and found Christ toward the end. And now consider myself a MGTOW (men going their own way) which means I am doing what I want in life, for once. In my last 20 year "relationship" (ahem...) it was all about her and her two brat boys. Now it is all about me and our daughter. For once I am doing what I want to do, and giving my girl exposure to the light of Christ. It is hard to do occasionally, but all I have to do is think of the past. :)

Good for you!!
 
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Lost_sheep

Guest
#16
#16
I also consider myself a MGTOW.

...and boy does it ever get under the skin of the fairer sex when they discover they have no power over you. LOL
 
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jeremyPJ

Guest
#17
#17
Yes it does, lol.

Some just aren't used to not being able to exert their control at will. But that's okay. The pendulum in our culture is starting to swing back.
 
PoetMary

PoetMary

Banned
#18
Nov 25, 2014
942
44
0
#18
Lost_sheep said:
I also consider myself a MGTOW.

...and boy does it ever get under the skin of the fairer sex when they discover they have no power over you. LOL
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I would imagine it would only get under their skin if they cared about having power over you.

This, btw, is what makes me nuts regarding relationships. Power dynamics. I seriously have zero energy for it. I don't understand Christians who adopt philosophies that support power dynamics. To me it seems completely incompatible with the gospel.

It's basically taking fears about vulnerability and creating a philosophy that makes it possible for us to never appear weak. Hmmm...but doesn't the bible say "when I am weak, then I am strong?"

People consistently presume I am weak because I am kind and compassionate. In fact, someone the other day told me that considering all I've experienced, I'm remarkably naive. Thank you! I thought it was a great compliment. People underestimate me because of this. It used to bother me. For a time I even dabbled in cynicism until I realized it was philosophically opposed to my faith. Now, I don't care. If someone is going to presume I am weak because I am kind they are seriously messed up. Let them feel more powerful. Let them presume they have the upper hand. Their presumptions cannot change what is true.

Honestly, gentlemen, the whole MGTOW troubles me because it just seems like a way of armoring up. It seems like the world's way of armoring up. I mean, I get why someone might want to armor up, but is this really in keeping with being like Jesus? Isn't being like Jesus more important than anything else?

 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#19
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#19
Why would any M (or W) want to GTOW? What a drag of a life.
 
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Lost_sheep

Guest
#20
#20
2 marriages where both women cheated on me constantly, coupled with two very long and very expensive divorces = I don't deal with women any more. Period. I'll be cordial. I'll be polite. I won't be friendly, warm, or open. I also won't spend time, energy, money, or emotions on them. I am for more interested in my own life and the things I am doing to be dragged into interpersonal relationships with the opposite sex.

It's not a drag of a life. It's liberating. It's freedom.
 
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