Opinion on praying for that someone special

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
PoetMary

PoetMary

Banned
#61
Nov 25, 2014
942
44
0
#61
Yeah...the whole "pulling the hair of the girl you like" is pretty grade-school kind of behavior.

I don't mind the whole splitting of the check thing...esp. on the first date, but I don't get how being insulting and indifferent is a legitimate way of actually getting to know someone. (Which is what I'm presuming a first date is all about). If a man believes there is a better option than being on the date with me, then he should take that option. I engage in enough self-deprecation...I don't need it from others.
 
D

DaTK

Guest
#62
#62
we need to love the opposite sex with all purity and gentleness in the name of Christ. AAGPE
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#63
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#63
PoetMary said:
Yeah...the whole "pulling the hair of the girl you like" is pretty grade-school kind of behavior.
Click to expand...

Grown men have leveled up. From hair pull to hair sniff. Lol!

The hair pulling in grade school was really cute. And also the kiss stealing. Men are just boys in grown bodies. ;)
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#64
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
2,416
113
#64
Tinkerbell725 said:
Grown men have leveled up. From hair pull to hair sniff. Lol!

The hair pulling in grade school was really cute. And also the kiss stealing. Men are just boys in grown bodies. ;)
Click to expand...
Alright I'm going to jump in for the guys here because I think this statement reflects a lot of the dismissing of men cultural bias that some of the hurting and disgruntled men around here are trying to point out. When we say things like this (and guys have their similar sayings and prejudices about women) we pretty much excuse the men who are irresponsible and immature and allow them to keep acting that way because we don't expect any better anyway, but we also make the men who are trying to be mature and do right feel like they're never going to be good enough or respected. It's kind of a self fulfilling prophecy in that the more men hear us say it the less motivated they will be to act like men instead of boys.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#65
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#65
cinder said:
Alright I'm going to jump in for the guys here because I think this statement reflects a lot of the dismissing of men cultural bias that some of the hurting and disgruntled men around here are trying to point out. When we say things like this (and guys have their similar sayings and prejudices about women) we pretty much excuse the men who are irresponsible and immature and allow them to keep acting that way because we don't expect any better anyway, but we also make the men who are trying to be mature and do right feel like they're never going to be good enough or respected. It's kind of a self fulfilling prophecy in that the more men hear us say it the less motivated they will be to act like men instead of boys.
Click to expand...
I meant it like a childlike boy charm not childish. Not trying to bash men.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#66
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
2,416
113
#66
Tinkerbell725 said:
I meant it like a childlike boy charm not childish. Not trying to bash men.
Click to expand...
I know you weren't trying to attack the guys. And I wasn't attacking you specifically either. Just trying to point out the other side.
 
C

coby

Guest
#67
#67
cinder said:
Alright I'm going to jump in for the guys here because I think this statement reflects a lot of the dismissing of men cultural bias that some of the hurting and disgruntled men around here are trying to point out. When we say things like this (and guys have their similar sayings and prejudices about women) we pretty much excuse the men who are irresponsible and immature and allow them to keep acting that way because we don't expect any better anyway, but we also make the men who are trying to be mature and do right feel like they're never going to be good enough or respected. It's kind of a self fulfilling prophecy in that the more men hear us say it the less motivated they will be to act like men instead of boys.
Click to expand...
As long as he isn't like this to me it's great childlike behavior, otherwise if he was really serious and mature we couldn't get along.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dQGrvCAmt-A
 
J

Jak795

Guest
#68
#68
Born_Again said:
Hardly. Its more like "No wonder there are so many nice girls sitting in the pew with an unreasonable expectation of what "He" should be. Total double standard.
Click to expand...
Unfortunately, it could be avoided by following the golden rule of dating but so few can see it. Have realistic expectations. Don't be shallow, but don't grab whatever immediately comes your way. That's why so many couples nowadays want a divorce so quickly. They invest in relationships that was often doomed to fail right at the start and brought grief on themselves.

To be fair, there are times were it isn't so obvious and isn't so easy to fix. And that's okay. It happens.

What I'm saying may come off as cold and callous. But, it's also the truth. Pick your investments wisely, especially when it means giving your heart to someone. Because the pain of rejection can be one of the worst feelings in the world.
 
J

Jak795

Guest
#69
#69
cinder said:
Alright I'm going to jump in for the guys here because I think this statement reflects a lot of the dismissing of men cultural bias that some of the hurting and disgruntled men around here are trying to point out. When we say things like this (and guys have their similar sayings and prejudices about women) we pretty much excuse the men who are irresponsible and immature and allow them to keep acting that way because we don't expect any better anyway, but we also make the men who are trying to be mature and do right feel like they're never going to be good enough or respected. It's kind of a self fulfilling prophecy in that the more men hear us say it the less motivated they will be to act like men instead of boys.
Click to expand...
Pretty well thought out statement I have to say.
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#70
#70
We make these things way too complicated.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#72
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#72
Hellooo said:
We make these things way too complicated.
Click to expand...
Right...Love is simple people are complicated. I try to be simple minded as much as I can. If I like someone naturally I will be curious about him. So I will ask probing questions (such as do you like me? JK). So I also hope he would do the same. If it's not mutual then you accept it and move on.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#73
#73
Txroads said:
So, let's say someone said they had made a lot of mistakes and finally just decided I'm going to leave it up to God. God these are all the qualities I want in a man.. You meet and she says the exact same thing, you've got those qualities I prayed for and I want to do things right and wait until marriage. Time goes by maybe a month and she says I've prayed and prayed for God to make me feel something but I don't feel nothing. A month later she meets someone without the qualities but "oh the way he looked at me" and all the "waiting" went out the door. Nice guy looses... Again.... Stomp stomp.....
Click to expand...

Nice guys never loose.I don't like to hear that statement. There are too many guys out there that are not nice and treat women like trash. I dated a guy,briefly, that claimed to be a "nice guy". Well,his idea of nice was cheating, actually moved in with a woman! Then he didn't have the guts to tell me,his brother broke the news. I was getting pretty jaded with men,I'll admit. Then I met another guy.We began to see each other and he said once "I'm a nice guy". I reacted immediately because this was something the other guy had said to me often. And he said " but he's not a man,a real man doesn't treat a woman like that. Guys like that ruin it for real nice guys. Then women don't trust us because they've heard it before." Then he said "Im not like any man you'll ever meet.All I can do is show you,if you'll let me" And ...I married him. :) There are a lot of not nice people out there. I was in my late 30s before I found my husband. It takes a lot of patience and prayer.No magic formula.You've got to wade through some sewage sometimes but when you do find the right one you'll appreciate them all the more.

To Poet Mary,you said ...
Here's the reality. If I must choose between a man who proclaims nicety, but who harbors hidden bitterness and meanness and a man who is an "out and proud" chaos guy, I'm going for the chaos guy. You know what you're getting up front, and they're probably a bit more exciting than the "nice" guy who'll spend months criticizing and chipping away at you so you fit some ideal in his head.

More exciting? As someone who married a nice guy I can tell you I'm never bored. On top of that he treats me like I'm an angel. He puts me before his own wants and desires. I have tell him to stop spoiling me. He'll walk though a park with me to feed ducks. He takes my little girly dog for walks. He takes interest in what I do and he's my biggest encourager. I did "exciting" not knowing what kind of jerk he really was. You can't have a lasting relationship with chaos guy. Trust me,in the end he's not worth the breath. A mature woman wants a man, not some boy to babysit. I married a nice guy,a real man,and I wouldn't have it any other way.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#76
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
4,305
113
#76
I once prayed for that someone special.. Ended up in her friendzone.


04ad843be55717252e2cfa6149746274.jpg
 
PoetMary

PoetMary

Banned
#77
Nov 25, 2014
942
44
0
#77
kaylagrl said:
To Poet Mary,you said ...
Here's the reality. If I must choose between a man who proclaims nicety, but who harbors hidden bitterness and meanness and a man who is an "out and proud" chaos guy, I'm going for the chaos guy. You know what you're getting up front, and they're probably a bit more exciting than the "nice" guy who'll spend months criticizing and chipping away at you so you fit some ideal in his head.

More exciting? As someone who married a nice guy I can tell you I'm never bored. On top of that he treats me like I'm an angel.
Click to expand...
You actually misread what I said. Let me try again:

Choice 1: The one who PROCLAIMS nicety. This means he CALLS HIMSELF a nice guy, will bemoan the fact that "nice guys finish last," BUT HE IS NOT NICE AT ALL. He has a VENEER of nicety, but internally he's seriously messed up.

Choice 2: The bad boy who is upfront from the get go.

Given THAT CHOICE. I'll go with the person who is actually HONEST ABOUT THEMSELVES AS A PERSON.

Remember, I said if I HAD to choose between those two. I was creating a HYPOTHETICAL SCENARIO.

In reality, I need not choose between the two because I can choose to remain alone

Therefore, your correction was unnecessary as it addressed a completely separate idea from the idea I presented.
 
C

coby

Guest
#78
#78
PoetMary said:
You actually misread what I said. Let me try again:

Choice 1: The one who PROCLAIMS nicety. This means he CALLS HIMSELF a nice guy, will bemoan the fact that "nice guys finish last," BUT HE IS NOT NICE AT ALL. He has a VENEER of nicety, but internally he's seriously messed up.

Choice 2: The bad boy who is upfront from the get go.

Given THAT CHOICE. I'll go with the person who is actually HONEST ABOUT THEMSELVES AS A PERSON.

Remember, I said if I HAD to choose between those two. I was creating a HYPOTHETICAL SCENARIO.

In reality, I need not choose between the two because I can choose to remain alone

Therefore, your correction was unnecessary as it addressed a completely separate idea from the idea I presented.
Click to expand...
Lol yes those are the worst. Just like Nice_lady on that other thread who would curse someone if they left her and looked for someone else. Oh woooow you're so nice, lovely.
I like that too when someone doesn't blame everyone else and sees their own sins and faults. Lol I dated one guy who said when he looked in the mirror he saw the devil and when he got mad because he lost a game he threw his television on the ground and broke it. I thought: ooooh that is so cuuuute! LOL.
Well if he wanted to be set free it would have been cute. Look at how much former womanizers and drug addicts once they get saved make great husbands. Lol but better wait until they're saved if you want to date one.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#79
#79
PoetMary said:
You actually misread what I said. Let me try again:

Choice 1: The one who PROCLAIMS nicety. This means he CALLS HIMSELF a nice guy, will bemoan the fact that "nice guys finish last," BUT HE IS NOT NICE AT ALL. He has a VENEER of nicety, but internally he's seriously messed up.

Choice 2: The bad boy who is upfront from the get go.

Given THAT CHOICE. I'll go with the person who is actually HONEST ABOUT THEMSELVES AS A PERSON.

Remember, I said if I HAD to choose between those two. I was creating a HYPOTHETICAL SCENARIO.

In reality, I need not choose between the two because I can choose to remain alone

Therefore, your correction was unnecessary as it addressed a completely separate idea from the idea I presented.
Click to expand...
Well I won't jump to conclusions and just ask, in the first choice are you generalizing all nice guys are just putting on and messed up or are you using that as a "for instance". Because there is a perception out there that women prefer bad boys. A mature woman doesn't,she wants a man. I just hate that perception that nice guys finish last.
 
J

JeniBean

Guest
#80
#80
Luke 11:9 And so it is with prayer—keep on asking and you will keep on getting; keep on looking and you will keep on finding; knock and the door will be opened

Mark 9:29 Jesus replied, “Cases like this require prayer.”
 
You must log in or register to reply here.