Family life in ruins

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Brian30024

Guest
#1
#1
Hi All,

I became a Christian last April 2015. I'm 49 years old and my wife (married 26 years now) and my 16 year old Daughter will not talk to me. When I talk to them, they are very hateful. I've spent my whole life taking them on vacations and trying to hang out with my Daughter and enjoy life and be the best Dad I could be. I can't believe how hateful they have become. I could see it if I became a killer or child molester or something, but not a Christian. My wife has threaten to divorce me a few times now and I'm kind of glad in a way. Not sure how much more hate I can take. My heart is becoming cold. I've shed many tears and pray for them always, but as time goes by they become more hateful. Any advise?

I would get a divorce, but would like to marry again. I'm very strict on what the Bible says about divorce. It is either adultery or they have to leave you for becoming a Christian.
 
S

SpiritualCleansing

Guest
#2
#2
In the bible, they would execute disrespectful and disobedient children. We live in a society that is weak and allows evil to permeate.

Your wife seems to not want to honor you, her husband. I'm sorry you have to deal with the two of them. When someone has cancer that is spreading, it's better to eradicate it as quickly as possible.
 
santuzza

santuzza

Senior Member
#3
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
38
48
#3
Hi Brian30024,

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. It is amazing how becoming a Christian can ostracize you from your family, but it does happen.

Did you behavior change a great deal when you became a Christian? Is your lifestyle now so very different than what it was before? I trust you're not pushing your faith on them nor are you being pious. If that is the case, you need to back off on that.

You can only do what you're doing -- pray for them and continuing growing in your walk with the Lord. The only other recourse would be to ask your wife and daughter if they'd be willing to go to family counseling.

Again, I'm very sorry this is happening to you in your young walk, but I will be praying for you.
 
resurrection33

resurrection33

Banned
#4
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
128
0
71
#4
Brian30024 said:
Hi All,

I became a Christian last April 2015. I'm 49 years old and my wife (married 26 years now) and my 16 year old Daughter will not talk to me. When I talk to them, they are very hateful. I've spent my whole life taking them on vacations and trying to hang out with my Daughter and enjoy life and be the best Dad I could be. I can't believe how hateful they have become. I could see it if I became a killer or child molester or something, but not a Christian. My wife has threaten to divorce me a few times now and I'm kind of glad in a way. Not sure how much more hate I can take. My heart is becoming cold. I've shed many tears and pray for them always, but as time goes by they become more hateful. Any advise?

I would get a divorce, but would like to marry again. I'm very strict on what the Bible says about divorce. It is either adultery or they have to leave you for becoming a Christian.
Click to expand...
I don’t think divorcing your wife and marrying another is the answer:

And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery. Matt 19:9 RSV
Click to expand...
Do they tell you why they treat you this way?
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#5
Jan 24, 2011
11,786
2,960
113
#5
I do not think you have any Biblical grounds for divorce, the way it now stands. However, if your wife is an unbeliever and decided to leave you, then you would be free.

"But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace." 1 Cor. 7:15

But I do think Santuzza has some good advice on how to behave, and maybe win them to Christ. When you pray, ask God to send other people into their lives who will witness. It is very difficult to witness to family members. And of course, for the Holy Spirit to soften their hearts.

As for you, the Bible is clear we will be persecuted in this world. It's just sad and disheartening when it is the ones we love the most who do it.

Praying for you to remain strong, and for your wife and daughter to get saved.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#6
Jun 30, 2015
25,825
13,964
113
#6
Hi Brian, and welcome!

That's a tough situation. Take comfort; Jesus has been there.

John 15:21 "They will treat you this way because of My Name, for they do not know the One who sent Me."

I'll pray for you, and will add only this:

Ask the Lord for His strategy, trust Him to reveal it, then follow it, humbly and patiently. Let them go if that is their choice, but don't hope for it; they will sense that and feel justified.
 
Violet24

Violet24

Senior Member
#7
Apr 14, 2015
1,074
148
63
#7
Brian, The Lord is faithful no matter what opposition comes against you in your home & family life. I know that its very important to wait upon the Lord when the storms of life come. Walk in love, no matter what & let the Lord lead the way. One of my favorite bible scriptures, that has been so powerful in my own Journey through life is... Exodus 14:14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." Sometimes we need to be "Still" as we abide in the Lord & His word, & let divine wisdom lead us. I'm sure this has been very difficult to endure, but keep your eyes on the Lord & know He is going to get you through this & ultimately Salvation could come to your family members. Miracles do happen...
 
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Brian30024

Guest
#8
#8
SpiritualCleansing said:
In the bible, they would execute disrespectful and disobedient children. We live in a society that is weak and allows evil to permeate.

Your wife seems to not want to honor you, her husband. I'm sorry you have to deal with the two of them. When someone has cancer that is spreading, it's better to eradicate it as quickly as possible.
Click to expand...
Thanks, But we are not under the old testament. We are under the new testament of love, grace, and forgiveness. www.TheSalvationTest.org
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#9
#9
Brian30024 said:
Thanks, But we are not under the old testament. We are under the new testament of love, grace, and forgiveness. www.TheSalvationTest.org
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Ignore that guy. I've seen a couple of his posts, and all of them say the same thing. Apparently he think the solution is to kill everyone who disagrees with the bible. Hmm. Sounds awfully similar to another popular religion.
 
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Brian30024

Guest
#10
#10
santuzza said:
Hi Brian30024,

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. It is amazing how becoming a Christian can ostracize you from your family, but it does happen.

Did you behavior change a great deal when you became a Christian? Is your lifestyle now so very different than what it was before? I trust you're not pushing your faith on them nor are you being pious. If that is the case, you need to back off on that.

You can only do what you're doing -- pray for them and continuing growing in your walk with the Lord. The only other recourse would be to ask your wife and daughter if they'd be willing to go to family counseling.

Again, I'm very sorry this is happening to you in your young walk, but I will be praying for you.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the reply. Sanctification happen fast in me, so I guess I have changed. I also tried to witness to my Daughter, but since have stopped. Now, I just pray for her. My wife was made to go to Church and now opposes anything Christian with great hate.
 
B

Brian30024

Guest
#11
#11
resurrection33 said:
I don’t think divorcing your wife and marrying another is the answer:



Do they tell you why they treat you this way?
Click to expand...
They hate me for trying to witness to my Daughter. I stopped.

I would never divorce my wife. I guess that was not clarified in my post.

"But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace." 1 Cor. 7:15
 
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Brian30024

Guest
#12
#12
Angela53510 said:
I do not think you have any Biblical grounds for divorce, the way it now stands. However, if your wife is an unbeliever and decided to leave you, then you would be free.

"But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace." 1 Cor. 7:15

But I do think Santuzza has some good advice on how to behave, and maybe win them to Christ. When you pray, ask God to send other people into their lives who will witness. It is very difficult to witness to family members. And of course, for the Holy Spirit to soften their hearts.

As for you, the Bible is clear we will be persecuted in this world. It's just sad and disheartening when it is the ones we love the most who do it.

Praying for you to remain strong, and for your wife and daughter to get saved.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the reply. I tried to witness to my Daughter only to get my wife to oppose and attack me.
 
C

coby

Guest
#13
#13
Brian30024 said:
Hi All,

I became a Christian last April 2015. I'm 49 years old and my wife (married 26 years now) and my 16 year old Daughter will not talk to me. When I talk to them, they are very hateful. I've spent my whole life taking them on vacations and trying to hang out with my Daughter and enjoy life and be the best Dad I could be. I can't believe how hateful they have become. I could see it if I became a killer or child molester or something, but not a Christian. My wife has threaten to divorce me a few times now and I'm kind of glad in a way. Not sure how much more hate I can take. My heart is becoming cold. I've shed many tears and pray for them always, but as time goes by they become more hateful. Any advise?

I would get a divorce, but would like to marry again. I'm very strict on what the Bible says about divorce. It is either adultery or they have to leave you for becoming a Christian.
Click to expand...
The devil doesn't like it. My mom my brother and I got saved and my dad got furious. He left to an old girlfriend. God told my mom to watch out with him and not share too much. She was so enthousiastic but he couldn't handle it. He left, she fasted and prayed for 3 days and he came back. It gave problems but he wanted to stay and gradually it got better. Now they have a great marriage.
I was married to an atheist who was on drugs. He almost choked me, he didn't want to convert, hated my worship music and everything. It was a clash between Light and darkness. I prayed, had a whole group of pastors praying for him but he left. If the unbeliever leaves let him go. Still pray for him but if I want to I may remarry and I asked God if I had to go back to him. He said no.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#14
#14
Brian30024 said:
Thanks for the reply. Sanctification happen fast in me, so I guess I have changed. I also tried to witness to my Daughter, but since have stopped. Now, I just pray for her. My wife was made to go to Church and now opposes anything Christian with great hate.
Click to expand...
Sanctification doesn't happen fast. It takes a lifetime. It's our ongoing walk with God and all we have to do is persevere.

You've told your wife and daughter about Jesus. Now continue to show them Jesus in you through your actions.

No, you don't get to choose to leave a non-believing spouse. We're called to the same thing for them -- love them. If she divorces you, let her go. Remarriage isn't something you should be thinking about now, since you're still married, so still supposed to be giving it your all in this marriage.
 
B

Brian30024

Guest
#15
#15
Depleted said:
Sanctification doesn't happen fast. It takes a lifetime. It's our ongoing walk with God and all we have to do is persevere.

You've told your wife and daughter about Jesus. Now continue to show them Jesus in you through your actions.

No, you don't get to choose to leave a non-believing spouse. We're called to the same thing for them -- love them. If she divorces you, let her go. Remarriage isn't something you should be thinking about now, since you're still married, so still supposed to be giving it your all in this marriage.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the reply. I know sanctification is endless, but changing my ways happened fast. I'm sorry if I didn't clarify that it was my wife who brought up divorce. I will not leave her, but if she leaves me, I would like the option of remarriage.
 
B

Brian30024

Guest
#16
#16
Thanks for all your replies and prayers. Please keep praying for us. :)

Look forward to the movie Risen. Risen - Official Site | Sony Pictures

Our Gospel for salvation today is believing in your heart how the Lord Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins, was buried, and resurrected on the third day. Take the salvation test today at http://www.thesalvationtest.org.
1CO15.1 Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand; 1CO15.2 By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain. 1CO15.3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; 1CO15.4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:
 
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Depleted

Guest
#17
#17
Brian30024 said:
Thanks for the reply. I know sanctification is endless, but changing my ways happened fast. I'm sorry if I didn't clarify that it was my wife who brought up divorce. I will not leave her, but if she leaves me, I would like the option of remarriage.
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Honestly? I don't know what the Bible says about remarriage in this case. I do know there is a big difference between bringing up divorce and filing for it. From a physical, spiritual, and legal standpoint, you do not leave. If she chooses to, then you do not have to stop her. (If she leaves, I don't think there is a way -- apart from God -- to stop her. And God really does do stuff like letting the person go or saving the person right then, so he is in this and will get his way.)

You hit the bridge of "I will leave you if you don't cut this out." You have not hit the bridge of "I'm leaving you now." You might want to check with a lawyer for your legal stance on who gets custody of your daughter, but other than that, only cross bridges you come to. I'd say a good 90% of the bridges I thought I was going to I never did get to. It's hard not to worry, but it's useless to worry about stuff that won't ever happen anyway. (This might happen. It might not. Even if it does happen you have the time to research what God wants out of you from the Bible. This just isn't one of those times that will happen quickly.)
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#18
#18
Was she raped at church?

Often there is a reason reacts so violently to even attending church or letting her daughter attend and that is the most common one I have heard.

The women often feel shame, anger and don't want to talk about it. It takes a lot of counseling but the couple's work through it.

I could be totally off base but a good marriage wouldn't fall apart over becoming a Christian unless your wife had a bad experience with someone claiming to be Christian or the person holds opposing religious views.


Either way I will pray for you and your family.
 
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Brian30024

Guest
#19
#19
Ariel82 said:
Was she raped at church?

Often there is a reason reacts so violently to even attending church or letting her daughter attend and that is the most common one I have heard.

The women often feel shame, anger and don't want to talk about it. It takes a lot of counseling but the couple's work through it.

I could be totally off base but a good marriage wouldn't fall apart over becoming a Christian unless your wife had a bad experience with someone claiming to be Christian or the person holds opposing religious views.


Either way I will pray for you and your family.
Click to expand...

I don't think my wife was raped. She was just forced by her mother to go to church 3 times per week. My wife's favorite past time is watching TV. She has always been that way. Very little family outings and dinners due to this lazy behavior and TV addition.
 
C

coby

Guest
#20
#20
Brian30024 said:
I don't think my wife was raped. She was just forced by her mother to go to church 3 times per week. My wife's favorite past time is watching TV. She has always been that way. Very little family outings and dinners due to this lazy behavior and TV addition.
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Then that may be the reason she hates it. Not smart to force your kid to go to church.
 
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