K
Hi everyone,
I just want to introduce myself a little and perhaps explain.
I found this site in search of someone who I could talk to. My relationship with God isn't very strong as I am weak. I have found the motivation to read the Bible every day (if I don't forget) and I started viewing the world and everything in it differently, as in how God would want me, and all of us, to see things.
So I recently opened up to him again, and I couldn't be more happy about this. But I feel as though I am being tested.
You see, depression has got me on its hook. I cannot understand what the cause of this is. Loneliness, maybe? I have been crying myself to sleep every night for the past week (it started on Sunday) and I pray to him every time that he would send me someone, or do as he sees fit. In the very least, I pray, that he shows me what I have done wrong or what he wants me to learn from this. I have been fighting with depression since the eighth grade. I am 17 now. I fell off the wagon oh so many times. There were the low points in my life when I told myself that I should stop fighting for this faith. Luckily, Jesus never stopped knocking. I know I can trust him with everything, but I just feel so hopeless. I read the Bible in search of an answer, a sign, a piece of hope. I obviously find a lot of it, as the Bible is a big chunk of love. But every time I'm alone and unoccupied the sadness creeps in. Tears start rolling down my cheeks and I can't do anything but blame myself. I try to find a reason or a past action of mine that could have set this off, but I honestly don't know where to start.
Is it a phase? Is it a longing for love? Is it a test of Gods? A test of my strength and faith? I don't waver in believing that God's the one and only way out of this life.
I guess that this is it. If it's not too much, I ask you to pray for me. The power of prayer is amazing, I'm sure you'd agree. And if you are having the same or similar problems to mine, I'd be glad to listen and perhaps exchange thoughts.
Thank you
I just want to introduce myself a little and perhaps explain.
I found this site in search of someone who I could talk to. My relationship with God isn't very strong as I am weak. I have found the motivation to read the Bible every day (if I don't forget) and I started viewing the world and everything in it differently, as in how God would want me, and all of us, to see things.
So I recently opened up to him again, and I couldn't be more happy about this. But I feel as though I am being tested.
You see, depression has got me on its hook. I cannot understand what the cause of this is. Loneliness, maybe? I have been crying myself to sleep every night for the past week (it started on Sunday) and I pray to him every time that he would send me someone, or do as he sees fit. In the very least, I pray, that he shows me what I have done wrong or what he wants me to learn from this. I have been fighting with depression since the eighth grade. I am 17 now. I fell off the wagon oh so many times. There were the low points in my life when I told myself that I should stop fighting for this faith. Luckily, Jesus never stopped knocking. I know I can trust him with everything, but I just feel so hopeless. I read the Bible in search of an answer, a sign, a piece of hope. I obviously find a lot of it, as the Bible is a big chunk of love. But every time I'm alone and unoccupied the sadness creeps in. Tears start rolling down my cheeks and I can't do anything but blame myself. I try to find a reason or a past action of mine that could have set this off, but I honestly don't know where to start.
Is it a phase? Is it a longing for love? Is it a test of Gods? A test of my strength and faith? I don't waver in believing that God's the one and only way out of this life.
I guess that this is it. If it's not too much, I ask you to pray for me. The power of prayer is amazing, I'm sure you'd agree. And if you are having the same or similar problems to mine, I'd be glad to listen and perhaps exchange thoughts.
Thank you