Hey Everyone,
Does the idea of "romance" die off or become less important as we get older? Or, does it simply change? What was "romance" to you when you were 16... 25... 30... 40... 50... and beyond?
I understand that some people are not into society's idea of "romance" to begin with because it's mostly commercialized, and that's perfectly understandable.
But if you do believe in "romance", have your ideas about what it is and how to express it changed as you've gotten older?
Although I've had my share of relationship woes, I also have to say that I had some pretty romantic exes. My high school boyfriend spent hundreds of hours making me a huge, Mickey-Mouse themed hand-stitched quilt one year for Christmas, and it became my most prized possession (NOTHING was warmer or more comforting than that quilt on a snowy--or teenage angst-ridden--night.)
My ex-husband once threw me a surprise birthday party at our favorite restaurant, and on our second wedding anniversary, he had a special cake delivered that was an exact replica of one of the tiers from our original wedding cake.
On the flip side, there was a time when I used to have a very active romantic side as well. One of my favorite things was to take a guy shopping (to places he actually liked to go), see what caught his eye, and then go back later and get it for him. I was married the first year the Playstation came out, and I was secretly putting aside money every week to buy one for my then-husband. I tried to hide it in our apartment (waiting for Christmas), but I was SO excited that I couldn't even wait 3 days before I gave it to him.
My ex also had a deep-seeded interest in Asian culture, so for Valentine's Day one year, I bought him a miniature bonsai tree, decorated it with bows and hearts, and took it to him at his workplace (along with a video game to save his manhood, because what guy is going to want to be presented with just a cutesy little tree as a gift.)
Keep in mind, I was in my teens and 20's when these things occurred.
As I now approach my mid-40's, I can't help but think: what do people in their 40's, 50's, 60's... and well beyond... consider romantic? If I presented a guy in his 50's with a dolled-up adorable little plant in front of other people... Would he claim not to even know me??!! I would like to think I still have a few shreds of romance buried somewhere in this cold black heart of mine that haven't died.
But would they be any different now than when I was 20? I've dated both younger and older guys, and I can't help but wonder now if men in their 30's, 40's, 50's and beyond would see my expressions as annoying childish gestures rather than cherished memories. This is especially true because I'm more practical now and probably wouldn't spend as much money as I did in the past--my ideas would be more towards hand-crafted, inexpensive, but heartfelt and very personalized things.
Although the last time I was in a relationship was when I was 29 years old, I HAVE tried to keep my "reminding someone they're special" skills from getting too rusty. One year I attempted to make a guy friend a birthday cake with his favorite sports team's logo and, uh, let's just say... My friend was very gracious in his reaction (especially since his family is filled with professional bakers and my idea of baking is tearing open a boxed cake mix.)
I had also mentioned this in another thread, but this past Valentine's Day, my Dad took a score card from a round of golf, tore it (much more manly than scissors) into the shape of a heart, wrote, "I love you" on it and left it for her to find on her car seat. I thought it was very sweet, but I also wondered what "romantic" things I would do for someone when I got to be their age.
Has your idea of romance changed over the years? And do you think it will change in the future? (Do you see your parents/grandparents being "romantic"? How do you see yourself as expressing "romance" when you get to be their age?)
*Disclaimer* -- The stories I present are only intended to give the reader some examples--they are NOT intended to make my life the center of the thread at all. Rather, I always intend the focus of my threads would be YOUR answers instead.
Does the idea of "romance" die off or become less important as we get older? Or, does it simply change? What was "romance" to you when you were 16... 25... 30... 40... 50... and beyond?
I understand that some people are not into society's idea of "romance" to begin with because it's mostly commercialized, and that's perfectly understandable.
But if you do believe in "romance", have your ideas about what it is and how to express it changed as you've gotten older?
Although I've had my share of relationship woes, I also have to say that I had some pretty romantic exes. My high school boyfriend spent hundreds of hours making me a huge, Mickey-Mouse themed hand-stitched quilt one year for Christmas, and it became my most prized possession (NOTHING was warmer or more comforting than that quilt on a snowy--or teenage angst-ridden--night.)
My ex-husband once threw me a surprise birthday party at our favorite restaurant, and on our second wedding anniversary, he had a special cake delivered that was an exact replica of one of the tiers from our original wedding cake.
On the flip side, there was a time when I used to have a very active romantic side as well. One of my favorite things was to take a guy shopping (to places he actually liked to go), see what caught his eye, and then go back later and get it for him. I was married the first year the Playstation came out, and I was secretly putting aside money every week to buy one for my then-husband. I tried to hide it in our apartment (waiting for Christmas), but I was SO excited that I couldn't even wait 3 days before I gave it to him.
My ex also had a deep-seeded interest in Asian culture, so for Valentine's Day one year, I bought him a miniature bonsai tree, decorated it with bows and hearts, and took it to him at his workplace (along with a video game to save his manhood, because what guy is going to want to be presented with just a cutesy little tree as a gift.)
Keep in mind, I was in my teens and 20's when these things occurred.
As I now approach my mid-40's, I can't help but think: what do people in their 40's, 50's, 60's... and well beyond... consider romantic? If I presented a guy in his 50's with a dolled-up adorable little plant in front of other people... Would he claim not to even know me??!! I would like to think I still have a few shreds of romance buried somewhere in this cold black heart of mine that haven't died.
But would they be any different now than when I was 20? I've dated both younger and older guys, and I can't help but wonder now if men in their 30's, 40's, 50's and beyond would see my expressions as annoying childish gestures rather than cherished memories. This is especially true because I'm more practical now and probably wouldn't spend as much money as I did in the past--my ideas would be more towards hand-crafted, inexpensive, but heartfelt and very personalized things. Although the last time I was in a relationship was when I was 29 years old, I HAVE tried to keep my "reminding someone they're special" skills from getting too rusty. One year I attempted to make a guy friend a birthday cake with his favorite sports team's logo and, uh, let's just say... My friend was very gracious in his reaction (especially since his family is filled with professional bakers and my idea of baking is tearing open a boxed cake mix.)
I had also mentioned this in another thread, but this past Valentine's Day, my Dad took a score card from a round of golf, tore it (much more manly than scissors) into the shape of a heart, wrote, "I love you" on it and left it for her to find on her car seat. I thought it was very sweet, but I also wondered what "romantic" things I would do for someone when I got to be their age.
Has your idea of romance changed over the years? And do you think it will change in the future? (Do you see your parents/grandparents being "romantic"? How do you see yourself as expressing "romance" when you get to be their age?)
*Disclaimer* -- The stories I present are only intended to give the reader some examples--they are NOT intended to make my life the center of the thread at all. Rather, I always intend the focus of my threads would be YOUR answers instead.
