Help me.

BatmanRSM · Mar 2, 2016

I really do not know if this is the right place for this, or if the subject of this thread is correct. I have depression, disabled, PTSD and "suicdal". The reason for these things are long and do not know if they would help in finding answers. The main reason I am depressed is I am very lonely. I spend 96-98% of each week completely alone. No really to call one the phone or text that will reply. I have been basicly single all my life I have been on a few dates but nothing long term.

This makes me feel like I am not good enough for anyone. The only compliment I get is "you have a nice smile". Which always sounds like the stereotypical "You have a great personality" type compament. One that is safe you do not insult them, but you cannot say the truth because it would be rude. I have been called ugly in the past, and repeatedly treated like I am. Judging by how many girl/women have completely turned me down I can only concluded that it is true. That I am a horiable person or worse both.

i am overweight because I am disabled and cannot work out to much. Because of not being able to work I have little to no money. These are three huge strikes with most women. Younger girl do not want some of my age (37) especially brim out of shape and poor. They want some one young attractive and has money. Either enough to support them completely or to be an equal partner in the finances. Women my age want all of that plus if they have kids the last thing they want is someone that basically is another kid to take care of. I have tried with women of all (legal) ages, heights as sizes. Both short and tall girls want a guy over six feet tall. I do not make that if I stand on my tip toes.

i have a lot of aquatences but no real friends that I can count on. A few also are in different states. That is another problem with my age. Most guys my age have families they would rather spend time with.

I really do not want to be alive anymore, but I cannot kill myself either. I frequently wish God would call me home. That or I would be killed by somebody so I can leave this broken down torn up tent and go home.

i bet I know all the Bible verses that will be posted following this...

Ultimatum77 · Mar 2, 2016

BatmanRSM said:

I honestly do not know how to respond...but let me share what works for me when I am alone....I force myself to pray. Even if it's a short burst prayer like 5 min....I explain to God that hey I need help in _____ area of my life, please don't forget me and let your will be done...I find that I get a relief when I turn it over to God....don't carry your burdens, put them at Jesus feet. Life is hard but if we try to carry our own burdens we will collapse....as the old song says "take it to the Lord in prayer" of What a friend we have in Jesus....my advice is to pray, don't dwell on it because when you dwell on the negative things, you will become a negative person and your spirit and soul will be poisoned so that if you want a relationship with someone you can't because your soul is dark from negativity....Don't let others dictate your life/emotions.....if someone turns you down just let it go...there will be others around to comfort you that God will bring...Hope this helps....

coby · Mar 2, 2016

I was so desperate and mad at God that I got no man. Don't have friends either. Well then I just crushed on Him and found friends here. He can heal you. Don't give up. He healed me from depression and a mental disease. One woman in our church had 5 mental diseases, morbidly obese. She's totally healed and thin now and most of all happy with Him although she doesn't have a man.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v2xwT7j1FCE

Depleted · Mar 2, 2016

BatmanRSM said:

Your disabilities, lack of wealth, inability to get out much, age, and looks aren't your problem. You are your problem. Reread what you wrote. You are the main attraction of your thoughts and desires, and yet everyone else is so surface-level they don't want you. You're the one looking at the surface only, so don't blame that on others.

And don't blame your disability either. You can write. You've got a computer. You have internet access. Everything needed to do something for someone else, to make a difference, to help someone else, and become friends, but look how you're using it. It's about you.

THAT's the problem. You're so inwardly focused you aren't helpful to anyone, including yourself.

Yes, you will know the verses I'm about to quote, BUT will you realize you're not doing them? Your gong is loud!

1 Cor. 13:
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith,so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

pwrnJC · Mar 2, 2016

wow...Depleted....your response to BatmanRSM is right on target. How dare you keep that silly screen name! What I see is a well rounded hardened by life but full of good solid stability that comes by experience and trust in JESUS. Your bible verses used, your style and your direct approach is awesome. I hope you really do change your screen name to FULFILLED...you are anything but Depleted! Amen!

Depleted · Mar 2, 2016

pwrnJC said:

Funny. The last time you said something to me, you had the opposite sense.

pwrnJC said:

Excuse me if I don't think you have sense and discount anything you say.

JesusLives · Mar 2, 2016

coby said:

I was so desperate and mad at God that I got no man. Don't have friends either. Well then I just crushed on Him and found friends here. He can heal you. Don't give up. He healed me from depression and a mental disease. One woman in our church had 5 mental diseases, morbidly obese. She's totally healed and thin now and most of all happy with Him although she doesn't have a man.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v2xwT7j1FCE

Wonderful attachment you added.....loved it almost made me cry in a good way....

JesusLives · Mar 2, 2016

pwrnJC said:

Got to give you kudos for the first positive in a backhanded sort of way that I have seen you post.....probably because she jumped on the guy for being self centered....But that is the way it is when you are down and out....focus is hard to keep on Jesus when you are in the ditch. But at least I see there is hope and you are able to be positive when the mood suits you...Good job....

JesusLives · Mar 2, 2016

BatmanRSM said:

So sorry you are down and out....depression is like that it gives you what I call stinking thinking..... I really liked the post coby posted with Jesus with you all the time....because it is true...He is with you and you are not alone. Tell Him everything and how you feel, what you are going through and ask Him to help you come up with something to fill the void in your life.

Participate more in different threads and make friends here. I have made several friends, and got married from making a life friend on CC.... I didn't come here to do that and was never in my plans, but God works things out His way and in His timing. Give Him your burdens, depression and ask Him to help you find the solutions to these problems.

If you go to church then get involved ask for something to help out with. You are disabled but are you stuck in a bed? I don't know the answers to these questions.... If you have a way to get around go to church and make friends there. Call a church nearby they may have a bus that runs to pick up people that aren't able to get themselves to church.... Ask for help, ask for a Pastor to come and see you and get these things that bother you worked out.

God loves you and does not want you to be miserable.....Personal message me if you need to I will chat with you. There is help for you just ask for it.

Pemican · Mar 2, 2016

BatmanRSM,

First things first. Stop right now and confess your sins to the Lord. Just examine yourself and name every sin you know you are guilty of. You only need to name them and acknowledge them before Him as per 1 John 1:9. Take your time with this, you get nowhere if you're not back in fellowship. I always start with arrogance and pride. Arrogance is behind just about every sin out there. And by the way, suicide is an act of arrogance.

Now stop and realize God has a plan for your life no matter how bad you think your circumstances may be. You are where you are for a purpose. You may not see it right now but in the future you will look back and realize why you went through this time in your life. God knows the condition of your soul and what you need right now. He is preparing you for something greater. Get out of yourself and focus on the will of God. What are you avoiding that needs to be taken care of? Are you growing in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? Are you obedient to the mandates of scripture? We all have weaknesses from our sin nature. Are you aware of what yours are and are you actively turning away from them? These are just a few ideas to get you back on track.

blue_ladybug · Mar 2, 2016

I have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts from a very young age. I know you've seen my depression and suicide threads, because you commented on one, but have you actually read my stories yet? If not, I would encourage you to.

I'm home alone all day, every day. My phone hardly ever rings, and it takes forever for family to respond to my emails. God created you, you ARE good enough for him.

Unfortunately, in today's society, people look at the physical aspects of each other. Is he or she cute? Does he have six-pack abs? Does she have full, pouty lips? It's all about looks, and it should'nt be. Looks fade away over time, and what we SHOULD look at in others is their heart, their attitude, how they treat others, etc. It's what's inside our hearts that makes us beautiful or ugly, it's not plysical looks that make us attractive.

Everyone has a disability. It may be visible, such as someone in a wheelchair or on crutches. It may be invisible, such as epilepsy. I have epilepsy but you'd never know it unless you witnessed me having a seizure. Not ALL disabilities are visible. Don't be ashamed of being disabled or overweight. There's nothing wrong with that, and there's nothing wrong with you.

You do have a lousy attitude about your depression, but guess what, God can turn that attitude into a positive one.

You need to be pro-active in helping Him, though. You can't just say "I wish, I wish, I wish". You can stay depressed or you can do something to make yourself feel better. Read Philippians 4:13, Psalm 23, and John 3:16..

PeacefulWarrior · Mar 2, 2016

blue_ladybug said:

You're awesome, Lady Blue! Thank God, for you.

pwrnJC · Mar 2, 2016

BatmanRSM...your completeness is found only in JESUS CHRIST, along with everybody else! Whether you are depressed, full of cancer, full of hatred, full of drugs, full of yourself.....JESUS is the answer, period to those needs and all needs. When you start to refocus on HIM...using your background as a living, vibrant testimony that can lead others to His plan for their lives, then you would not have to keep airing your dirty laundry here. You will not have to keep on defending yourself. Take "SELF" out of the picture and witness, share with others, in the way that only you can, and notice the change. How effective would a former alcoholic be if they kept on telling the events in their lives that kept them in misery? You have the Holy Spirit within you as a VICTOR..you do not have to keep your autobiography alive and well here. Let's see how you were delivered and are now praising and living a DIFFERENT life. What if Paul kept telling others how he used to kill CHRISTIANS and imprison them?

blue_ladybug · Mar 2, 2016

PeacefulWarrior said:

Thank you, PW.

You're pretty awesome, too.

I definitely thank God for you.

Willie-T · Mar 2, 2016

Depleted said:

Your disabilities, lack of wealth, inability to get out much, age, and looks aren't your problem. You are your problem. Reread what you wrote. You are the main attraction of your thoughts and desires, and yet everyone else is so surface-level they don't want you. You're the one looking at the surface only, so don't blame that on others.

And don't blame your disability either. You can write. You've got a computer. You have internet access. Everything needed to do something for someone else, to make a difference, to help someone else, and become friends, but look how you're using it. It's about you.

THAT's the problem. You're so inwardly focused you aren't helpful to anyone, including yourself.

Yes, you will know the verses I'm about to quote, BUT will you realize you're not doing them? Your gong is loud!

1 Cor. 13:
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith,so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

That was the very first thought that ran across my mind, too.

And, almost everyone in the world who is fat, is that way only because of the huge amount of food we ingest.

coby · Mar 2, 2016

blue_ladybug said:

Yes the world looks at the outside. The antichrist will be super handsome. Someone saw that in a dream. I rather love Jesus though.

He has no form or comeliness;
And when we see Him,
There is*no beauty that we should desire Him.
3*He is despised and rejected by men,
A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
And we hid, as it were,*our*faces from Him;
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.

Utah · Mar 2, 2016

You want to hang out? I like baseball. I'll buy some tickets to a game and we can chill.

blue_ladybug · Mar 2, 2016

Willie-T said:

That was the very first thought that ran across my mind, too.

And, almost everyone in the world who is fat, is that way only because of the huge amount of food we ingest.
Absolutely NOT TRUE. You are severely uninformed as to what can cause obesity, Willie. It CAN be caused by food, yes, BUT most often it's caused by meds, heredity or a chemical imbalance in the thyroid. So to suggest that fat people are ONLY fat because they eat too much really is rather insulting. You need to educate yourself on the subject of obesity, so you won't sound ignorant the next time you speak on the subject. :/

wwjd_kilden · Mar 2, 2016

Hi and welcome

I hope you will find good fellowship here, but remember that we are not therapists. We are not trained in handling PTSD or depression, that is up to professionals.

As for working out, unless you are paralyzed neck down, you CAN work out

Being disabled should not keep you from doing that, as a matter of fact it might make it MORE important, you just need someone to guide you on how to do it (a physiotherapist perhaps?).

PS: I'd be perfectly happy with a short guy, MY problem is that all the guys who show me attention want ... you know ... and they won't take no for an answer. Maybe some of the girls you meet have the same experience and shy away because of it?

hornetguy · Mar 2, 2016

While heredity, medications, thyroid conditions, etc can be the cause of eating too much, the bottom line is that obesity is caused from consuming more calories than you burn.
Lack of burning calories can be caused by any of the above, or lack of exercise, whatever. If your body is not burning any calories, you should not be putting any in.

This is why, when a medical patient is at the end of life, and the medical staff suggest removing the feeding tube, it is NOT "starving them to death". Their bodies do not NEED food at that point.

edit:.... sorry, no intent to hijack the thread.

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