Hi Levi. I just wanted to let you know that you are loved. You are loved by all of us. You are loved by God.
If anyone should understand your pain, it's Jesus Christ. He experienced physical, mental, and spiritual torment. He was whipped, beaten, spat on and pierced. He was mocked, harassed, ridiculed and rejected. He was on the cross with the UNBELIEVABLE amount of everyone's sins placed on his shoulders, no doubt feeling separated from His Father because of the sin on him. He must have been marred beyond belief, blood oozing from his wounds, the heat of the day beating against him, struggling for every breath, the pain he endured is UNFATHOMABLE...
That night, his marred, lifeless body was wrapped in cloth. He, the Life Giving Shepherd, was laid among the dead. Our God had died, our Savior had fallen...
This isn't the end of his story.
One day had passed. Two days had gone by. No doubt, everyone had thought of Him as dead forever. The morning of the third day. As the sun was dawning, Jerusalem was stirring. Everyone was waking from their sleep. Just then, a rumble! The Earth was shaking! An Earthquake! The cause of which, we both know! The stone was rolled away! The Lamb of God has risen!!! He had died. Now, He's alive forevermore!!!
Trust me, you are loved. Jesus, far from being oblivious of our pain, knows it all too well. He doesn't just know it, He LIVED it!
In the most UNFAIR trade ever, He traded His righteousness for our wickedness and took our punishment upon Himself. So I say one final time, you, Levi, are of infinite value in the eyes of God. He knows and understands your pain. He is sovereign and has a plan for your life. It might not make sense now, but I believe He is subjecting you to this pain as a way to build you up. You may have a special place in His plan that we don't know about. Please, press on. Have faith and endure. You will be rewarded for your suffering. Our God is not unfair, He will reward you for your endurance. You are in my prayers. Continue to fight the good fight! You are not alone...
Ricky