The problem of prayers not answered the way we want

[Bushido8000]

I'd really like to ask people in the Prayer Request forum this one, but it felt wrong to post it there. Day after day, I see people praying for someone's needs. Day after day, I see God not answer it like the person asked. I'm not saying God doesn't answer. Far from it. I know God answers our prayers all the time -- just not in the manner we want him to answer us.

But then people keep praying, "And we know God this isn't what you want." Huh? If it's not what God wants, than why does it happen that way? Is God unable to get what he wants? I trust God to always get what he wants. I merely get frustrated, saddened, hurt, and feel terrible that the person asking for prayers won't get what he/she wants, especially when I want that for them almost as much as they want it.

How do people who keep praying for others handle the sorrow that comes from all that if they think God will answer as planned, but he doesn't do that again and again?

I have a particularly hard time with this. Especially when it's really crazy stuff like kids born with an insane deformity like being born inside out and they are in agonizing pain everyday of their lives and die when they're like 10. Sometimes I think "what was God doing there?" And I think with me personally it creates doubt to a certain extent. Because then I can look around and find a whole bunch of instances where there just didn't seem to be any kind of plan there. It makes me wonder if God has a plan for me. I feel that He protects me A LOT but I don't understand why He does this for me and not other people. Not that I'm complaining haha. But... Idk.

If anyone has a response. It would help a lot.

 

[Depleted]

I look at it this way. God knows the person that is being prayed for much better than any of us on the outside looking in. He knows their heart, thoughts and if they are saved or not. We are praying sometimes selfishly because we don't want them to go and God knows that if they go now they are saved, if they stick around longer maybe something would come along that would change that so even though they go now and cause us pain ultimately we get our prayers answered because we are reunited with them where life really counts after sin is no longer and we are at peace with God living with Him forevermore...

God's ways are higher than ours and He knows the whole picture we can only see a piece of it.

King Hezekiah prayed crying on what he thought was his death bed and the prophet came back and told him God heard his prayer and he lived 15 more years.... Showed off the wealth of Israel and later the Babylonians came back and took it... Maybe he would have been better off dead 15 years earlier??? Or the children of Israel better off??? Sometimes getting the thing we want isn't the best way for the whole picture...the one God knows about and we don't...

Ah. Thank you. Somewhere in the dusty corner of my brain I remember having this. But age, circumstances, or just my sieve of a brain forgot. So thank you for the reminder of what I used to know, but forgot.

 

[Blain]

I'd really like to ask people in the Prayer Request forum this one, but it felt wrong to post it there. Day after day, I see people praying for someone's needs. Day after day, I see God not answer it like the person asked. I'm not saying God doesn't answer. Far from it. I know God answers our prayers all the time -- just not in the manner we want him to answer us.

But then people keep praying, "And we know God this isn't what you want." Huh? If it's not what God wants, than why does it happen that way? Is God unable to get what he wants? I trust God to always get what he wants. I merely get frustrated, saddened, hurt, and feel terrible that the person asking for prayers won't get what he/she wants, especially when I want that for them almost as much as they want it.

How do people who keep praying for others handle the sorrow that comes from all that if they think God will answer as planned, but he doesn't do that again and again?

Many times it would in fact seem to be a problem to us but I have found it's often times a blessing. I rarely ever receive answered prayer or at least how I want it answered even with many many ppl praying for me I have not recieved at least not how I wanted. But God sees it all we don't and so it's very important to follow Jesus's example in whcih he asked for him to tak e this cup from him yet he instantly said but not according to my own will but your.

This is why no matter how many times my prayers go unanswered I am still encouraged and gladly pray and ask regardless the answer because I trust him even if it seems as if him not answering my prayers is just plain unfair. I have prayed for healing and prayed for healing of others more times than I can count not once have I ever seen it happen, Jesus spoke to me once and promised me an entire day with him in heaven this was three years ago I have been eagerly praying for it for that long never once has he done it yet I ask anyways even knowing odds are based on experience the answer is wait or perhaps it isn't going to happen as I expect it to who knows?

But either way prayer is not based on us receiving the answers we seek it's based on him

 

[integerlost]

Then you are very young so no one you love has died on you, you don't care if a loved one does die, or this is about as truthful as most of your posts are.

How would you know no one I loved has died on me? Did my man Jesus tell you that, because he's fighting off your hate as I type this out

Get sorted.

 

[coby]

Let's try it this way.

Before Christmas, Kaylagirl asked us to pray for a friend's husband right after he found out he had leukemia. Everyone was praying he'd live and regain his health. He found out his third child would be a boy right before he died.

Pickle's hubby is having complications from his open heart surgery last year. Everyone prayed he'd be healed. Last I heard there was another complication.

People on here have been praying for my husband to be healed since last December. In some ways he's better. In some ways he's worse.

Happyface asked for healing for her feet and her fiance to be healed after a stroke. People have been praying for healing. Not yet.

Angela? She's been out of options for her pain since last autumn. People keep praying she'll get better. She's been struggling with her ever increasing pain for decades.

Levi's Dad is in the ICU "suffering."

There are so very many people hoping and praying for miracles, but not many are getting them. And yet, so many keep praying for the miracle. How?

How do you keep praying for a miracle when all the signs say, "Not this time?" How do you do that and not notice it's not happening? What keeps people praying for things like that when the majority of the evidence is saying "What you prayed for isn't what God had in mind?"

These are Christians I'm talking about, so it's not about redemption, not about not knowing, not about praying just right. It's facing the reality time and time again -- the vast majority of times, God doesn't give us miracles. Why keep shooting in the dark for something you hope will happen rather than face the reality that what does happen is always God's will?

And how do you keep your courage to pray for what you want, if most of what you see is painful endings? I get if a Christian dies, that person then starts spending eternity with God, but it's not the family and friend's time to do that yet and they miss that person with all the tearful sorrow imagined and beyond.

I'm not trying to bring anyone down. I want to know how people keep praying even then.

Well if someone's sick I'm more like: we should also fast and pray more and ask others too. But I used to not give up, but after a few dead ones that didn't get raised when I prayed 3 days I got tired of that and am more like: What do I care? They're in heaven anyway and they don't care about me either.

 

[slave]

I'd really like to ask people in the Prayer Request forum this one, but it felt wrong to post it there. Day after day, I see people praying for someone's needs. Day after day, I see God not answer it like the person asked. I'm not saying God doesn't answer. Far from it. I know God answers our prayers all the time -- just not in the manner we want him to answer us.

But then people keep praying, "And we know God this isn't what you want." Huh? If it's not what God wants, than why does it happen that way? Is God unable to get what he wants? I trust God to always get what he wants. I merely get frustrated, saddened, hurt, and feel terrible that the person asking for prayers won't get what he/she wants, especially when I want that for them almost as much as they want it.

How do people who keep praying for others handle the sorrow that comes from all that if they think God will answer as planned, but he doesn't do that again and again?

The reason many of us stop praying and become hard toward God is that we only have an emotional interest in prayer. It sounds good to say that we pray, and we read books on prayer which tell us that prayer is beneficial ~ that our minds are quieted and our souls are uplifted when we pray. But Isaiah in 59:16, implies that God is amazed at such thoughts about prayer.

Worship and intercession must go together; one is impossible without the other. Intercession means raising ourselves up to the point of getting the mind of Christ regarding the person for whom we are praying. (Philippians 2:5). Instead of worshiping God, we recite speeches to God about how prayer is supposed to work. Are we worshiping God or disputing Him when we say, "But God, I just don't see how you are going to do this!?" This is a sure sign that we are not worshiping. When we lose sight of God, and doubt God's Sovereignty, we become hard and dogmatic. We throw our petitions at His throne and dictate to Him what we want Him to do, as if He owes us something. At this point, we don't worship God, nor do we seek to conform our minds to the mind of Christ. And if we are hard toward God, we will become hard toward other people.

We must worship God in a way that will raise us up to where we can take hold of Him, having such intimate contact with Him that we know His mind about the ones for whom we pray. We are living in a Holy relationship with God, He answers prayer as He sees fit always as love, we must not become hard and dogmatic but see even hardships, or lack of answered prayer thru our insightful ways, as, yet, His directive for our best interests, and His glory .

 

[Depleted]

How would you know no one I loved has died on me? Did my man Jesus tell you that, because he's fighting off your hate as I type this out

Get sorted.

Based on what you wrote last time.

See God fulfils the desires of ones heart not the wants of ones heart. Personally I don't kneel praying or fold my hands, I just open my heart to God and let my desire speak for itself. I don't even have to use words, my heart does all the talking for me.

And all my desires have come true.

Most people don't "desire" loved ones to die. Even "of ones heart."

So, again, about as truthful as most of your posts.

 

[Depleted]

The reason many of us stop praying and become hard toward God is that we only have an emotional interest in prayer. It sounds good to say that we pray, and we read books on prayer which tell us that prayer is beneficial ~ that our minds are quieted and our souls are uplifted when we pray. But Isaiah in 59:16, implies that God is amazed at such thoughts about prayer.

Worship and intercession must go together; one is impossible without the other. Intercession means raising ourselves up to the point of getting the mind of Christ regarding the person for whom we are praying. (Philippians 2:5). Instead of worshiping God, we recite speeches to God about how prayer is supposed to work. Are we worshiping God or disputing Him when we say, "But God, I just don't see how you are going to do this!?" This is a sure sign that we are not worshiping. When we lose sight of God, and doubt God's Sovereignty, we become hard and dogmatic. We throw our petitions at His throne and dictate to Him what we want Him to do, as if He owes us something. At this point, we don't worship God, nor do we seek to conform our minds to the mind of Christ. And if we are hard toward God, we will become hard toward other people.

We must worship God in a way that will raise us up to where we can take hold of Him, having such intimate contact with Him that we know His mind about the ones for whom we pray. We are living in a Holy relationship with God, He answers prayer as He sees fit always as love, we must not become hard and dogmatic but see even hardships, or lack of answered prayer thru our insightful ways, as, yet, His directive for our best interests, and His glory .

On November 21, 2015, I prayed "Your will be done, although it's going to hurt like hell, if your will is for John to die. Still, your will be done, because you will take care of me through this." (Roughly those words. I have to admit I was one big ball of shock, after hearing a doctor tell him, "You're dying. We have to incubate you right now. You're suffocating." And an hour later, hearing another doctor tell me he is having -- not had, but is still having, which mean it had already lasted at least 48 hours, possibly 4 days -- a massive heart attack, and needs to be transferred to another hospital to get stents in three arteries.)

The next few days, I asked every believer I knew to pray that. Not the easy prayer. The God's will prayer.

One or two weeks later, he had an infection so bad that the ICU doctor -- in a hospital with 35 filled beds in their ICU -- told me John was the sickest man in the unit. He said John had only a 10-15% chance of surviving that first night. He only had a 50/50 chance then. I kept praying that prayer. I wanted him to live.

Since then he's been taking two steps forward and one step back so often that he's been in rehab since March 4, but has been back to that hospital four times since. That two steps forward and one step back were signs to me. Generally speaking it looked like God's will was for John to get better. I started praying that according to what I saw as God's will.

He's bleeding internally still. He's been doing that all along. They had him on three blood thinners. (My primary doctor thinks I'm full of crap to say that, because doctors would never do that, but I can name all three, and I could only name one -- and one he hasn't been on either lol -- before this.) They took him off the warfarin last Friday to stop the internal bleeding. He ended up back in the hospital because he was losing too much blood on Monday evening. Yesterday, John's doctor told him she's sending him back to the rehab. In that same meeting, he told her his nose had been bleeding for an hour. He was back at rehab in three hours.

He's stopped two-steps-forward-and-one-step-back. So, I have no idea what God's will is, except it seems unusually cruel to make him go through all he's gone through only to have him die a slow death from laziness/irresponsibility/incompetence on the part of doctors.

People are still praying for instant healing. Hasn't the instant passed long ago?

 

[JesusLives]

By Deborah Ann

I am waiting for You Lord,
because You told me to
and I am anticipating
what it is that You will do.

I am being strong Lord,
for I have put my trust
in You because I know
You’re always fair and just.

I am waiting for You Lord,
just like You said I should
and I know I can expect
from You something good.

I’m remaining calm Lord,
see I’m not trembling
for I have put my faith in
whatever You’re assembling.

I am waiting for You Lord,
again I say I’m waiting . . .
for I know that with You
there can be no debating!

~~~~~~~~~Psalm 27:14“Wait on the Lord:
be of good courage,
and he shall strengthen
thine heart: wait,
I say, on the Lord.”King James Version
Public Domain

Copyright 2016
Deborah Ann Belka​

 

[Depleted]

By Deborah Ann

I am waiting for You Lord,
because You told me to
and I am anticipating
what it is that You will do.

I am being strong Lord,
for I have put my trust
in You because I know
You’re always fair and just.

I am waiting for You Lord,
just like You said I should
and I know I can expect
from You something good.

I’m remaining calm Lord,
see I’m not trembling
for I have put my faith in
whatever You’re assembling.

I am waiting for You Lord,
again I say I’m waiting . . .
for I know that with You
there can be no debating!

~~~~~~~~~Psalm 27:14“Wait on the Lord:
be of good courage,
and he shall strengthen
thine heart: wait,
I say, on the Lord.”King James Version
Public Domain

Copyright 2016
Deborah Ann Belka​

I am so jealous of people who can remain calm!

 

[slave]

There is another John in Scripture whom Jesus says, "....among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist." (Matthew 11:11). Yet, in John's experience he doubted his relative Jesus whom praised him so. Why? When Jesus heard of John the Baptist's plight of being put in the King Herod's prison in a desolate dungeon, being starved, and in dire heat, (Matthew 4:12-13), Jesus visited - no! Jesus baked him a cake, or at least had a servant do it - no! Sneaked in loaves and fishes - no! Broke him out - no! What Jesus did in regards to this news as his relative, and prized human friend is not the thing you write in Scripture to get others to see Jesus as merciful and kind, He, "....withdrew to Galilee, leaving Nazareth, He went and lived in Capernaum...." (Matthew 4:12-13). Wow! Right?!!

Now, you need a map to really feel the impact John the Baptist felt. Nazareth was high North in Israel whereas Machaerus was just outside of Israel's border East of that, very much more South of Nazareth, yet here we see Jesus head to live even further North to Capernaum, a place of beautiful weather and palm trees and water, basically Jesus left and went to the beach. Whereas Machaerus was in a dry, isolated overly hot, prison.

Starved and left alone, after a year John sends messengers to Jesus to ask from doubts, and disappointments, Jesus, "Are you the one?" Basically asking, how do I get Your attention? Jesus replies with "Yes, I am the One." He goes on to tell the messengers to include what He is doing there; healing people, setting people free (Figuratively), etc etc, basically saying, tell him all the things I am doing for everybody else. Poof, wow, and there is our lives sometimes huh?

We need to know that Jesus still loves us, Jesus does still love you,Jesus still loves your John as well. Just before the messengers left to give John the Baptist his returned message Jesus says an incredible thing: "Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of Me." (Matthew 11:6).
Or, blessed are those who, when Prayer's aren't answered logically for reasons beyond our ability to gather, whom still trust in Him, even when it appears Jesus is acting in opposite directions from, "On their behalf," When it seems they can never be happy again, or nothing now can come from this, or even that there is no point in continuing, that God is not absent, God is not apathetic, God is not angry with them; those who make it thru the flames He will bless.

Let me suggest a message I have heard recently that ouches on this. It is a video series from Andy Stanley, which are four free videos you can access from YouTube: Andy Stanley/"The New Normal," (Parts 1-4), "In the Meantime Series." Stop by and check them out. I pray jealousy turns to deepened faith from Scripture outlined there. God bless you richly. And I will continue to pray.

 

[Tinuviel]

God is patient, right? Sometimes he waits, doing things or letting things happen that we see as totally against his plan...waiting for the moment to do what is best for Himself and His children. We can't understand it, but it all works into His divine plan. I think I've posted this link before. It's a sermon about WHY God sometimes doesn't answer prayers the way we want. (The intro is kinda long, but it it is very well worth it! I've listened to it at least 3 times).

The Underestimated God (Session VII) : Together for the Gospel