N
NewBelieverofChrist
Guest
dude, thats normal. Especially with someone you barely know. Small talk is one of the hardest things to do. 15 minutes is pretty good. I think 12 is my record lol
Why am I having so much of a problem getting a good Christian girlfriend?
- Thread starter dothackzero
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
N
NewBelieverofChrist
Guest
If I knew id tell you. Id say just try to find out stuff about her. What she does for fun, favorite things, etc. Try to be funny although that usually doesnt come across good online. Just be yourself. If she doesn't like it. Then its not your problem, move on to the next one. Making friends with females will help some.
N
NewBelieverofChrist
Guest
Believe me I know how that goes brother. 1 is the loneliest number. But we always have Christ to lean on. Its not fun being single at times, its very difficult. I was with a girl that I thought I loved and thought I would die with for about 5 years and it ended. Thank God that it did. She wasn't saved and she has no desire for God. I don't need that. If and when Christ says that I deserve that Gift of a woman in my life he will let me know. I am just trying to be patient and not worry about it. Even though that gets extremely hard at times. We have to stand strong. Look at paul, he was one of the most influential men in the Bible. He was beaten, single, starved you name it but above all he said he was content with whatever God gave him. I can do all things through him who gives me strength. It may be a long battle but there are many of us out there going through the same thing everyday, men and women. Some that have been doing it for 40 years. Keep your head up brother. We have an eternal promise
G
greatkraw
Guest
silence is ok
did you ask her about herself?
I very quickly find something I can relate to
it could be I have visited where she lives or know someone with her job or anything
did you ask her if she likes Star Trek or Big Bang Theory?
It's Christianchat, no wonder you run out of things to say. You have better chance making conversation with a cabbage than most people on here. Say too much and they'll report you to the mods. But a 15 min conversation is pretty good.
Last edited:
B
brideofchrist
Guest
Well, firstly i just wanna say that you are only 21! 
Enjoy your life, laugh , love, go out, spend time with family, friends....pray and wait on the Lord....Just take one day at a time and trust that as you seek the Lord , everything else will be added to ya. You don't have to worry about it at all. Singleness can be quite a bonus actually when it comes to using your time for God...to serve Him. I really believe there are different seasons in our lives.....singleness is definitely one of them...and the key is being faithful in those seasons...until we move on to the next. Chill, I'll say it again that you do't have to worry about it. Gods plans for you and His thoughts for you are more than the grains of sand on the sea shore. Use your time to serve God and reach out to people. Ask Him to prepare you to be the man he wants you to be. Work towards your vision and purpose...and just delight in God.....n just trust that He makes all things beautiful in His time. He really does
Enjoy your life, laugh , love, go out, spend time with family, friends....pray and wait on the Lord....Just take one day at a time and trust that as you seek the Lord , everything else will be added to ya. You don't have to worry about it at all. Singleness can be quite a bonus actually when it comes to using your time for God...to serve Him. I really believe there are different seasons in our lives.....singleness is definitely one of them...and the key is being faithful in those seasons...until we move on to the next. Chill, I'll say it again that you do't have to worry about it. Gods plans for you and His thoughts for you are more than the grains of sand on the sea shore. Use your time to serve God and reach out to people. Ask Him to prepare you to be the man he wants you to be. Work towards your vision and purpose...and just delight in God.....n just trust that He makes all things beautiful in His time. He really does 
Ask her about her interests, if you don't have anything in common, odds are, forget about it. You run out of things to say within a short time, precisely when you have little in common with the person in the PM.
Well perhaps the cabbage thing is going too far but yea that has been my experience also. One thing we all have in common at this chat is faith in God. Why does nobody ever discuss God at this chatroom, or if they do its rare. I'm talking about the Lounge now.
Last edited:
That's why I usually hang out in the Bible Study, well atleast when there's a good crowd in there.
Well on the bright side, it looks like the Holy Spirit has shown me that I will get a girlfriend eventually. Actually it was a girl was able to describe what it's like when the Holy Spirit in way I could actually understand. 
Alright, that was quite the introduction to this thread. First of all: God didn't make a woman's backside for sexual activity. I'm frankly quite shocked that you would even mention this in a thread.
Secondly, based on what I am reading, I think you are far too self-absorbed. Forget about GAD (whatever that is) ADD and OCD (I know what those are) and social anxiety as well. My suggestion is that you need to get your focus on other people more, so maybe find some ways to give Christian service to others and it will help you balance yourself out.
And maybe while you are out doing some good, you might find your future sweet heart.
Quest
EDIT: I see this thread was created way long ago... oops...
Anyway, please pray that I think with my head and God in mind when it comes to being friends with her, and not with my lower head.
I don't think that comment is funny, nor appropriate for a Christian forum. Being honest about one's weaknesses is acceptable, but glorying in them or making obscene jokes about them is quite inappropriate.
Quest
C
CatWoman
Guest
For some reason there are alot of people that dont go to church between the ages of 20-30. I can see how you would have problems because of that. Its good to see that you go to church. I wish I had answers for you.Then maybe I could find some one too.
R
Redeemed
Guest
D
Dread_Zeppelin
Guest
I really dont think there's a lack of good christian girls, i think there is a lack of guys who dont go on appearances.
N
Not_The_Righteous
Guest
Asking a man not to care about appearances is asking him not to be a man. It's wired into him, down to his very DNA. Now, don't get me wrong - as with anything in creation it can be (and has been) taken to excess - but "attractiveness" (which is more than physical appearance - it means that the person has qualities about them that draw you to them) is and should be part of the equation. Even Song of Songs seems to paint the picture that the sexes are different, and that the male one is more visually driven than emotionally driven. Doesn't mean that every guy requires a supermodel to consider her a prospect, but the reality is that most men don't. But she does have to be attractive. Whatever "attractive" works out to be, physical appearance is always going to be part of the formula.
Besides, I know a fair amount of Godly, single men who remain single because they lack a certain attractiveness about them.
Besides, I know a fair amount of Godly, single men who remain single because they lack a certain attractiveness about them.
D
Dread_Zeppelin
Guest
I know there is attractiveness factors out there that involve personnality, but I dont believe that most church men think that way (in my experience). It never seems to shock me when I see a plain girl hardly getting a date in church and I see Mandy Moore praying in the pew with a wedding ring and a baby bump. There are great guys out there that aren't that "attractive" and are some of the most special people you'd ever meet. I know, I try to date them purposely.
My point is I hate it when guys say theres no Godly women left because it's simply not true. Try to find girls out there that may not be your "type" or in your "league" and you'll be pleasently surprised to find loyal, wonderful, caring individuals. Maybe the "unattractiveness" of that person starts to deminish. Besides in 50 years you'll both be saggy anyway.
N
Not_The_Righteous
Guest
You're right, though I think we may mean slightly different things when referring to "attractiveness."
A girl that is constantly concerned about "not being attractive" will turn away most men without even speaking to them a lot of the time. Who, in their right mind, wants to be the anchor for such an emotional black hole? Especially if there are others "competing" for interest who don't pose that problem as much? Let me put it this way.
Person is afraid/concerned they are not attractive.
Person's fixation, fear, and "shyness" because of this causes them to be less "attractive."
Person is less "attractive" than others who are not as inhibited by this fear.
Person blames it soley on their physical appearance.
Person continues spiral, and remains "unattractive."
I don't really get the Mandy Moore reference. Are you saying that someone who happens to be physically attractive should be not be more likely to find someone that finds her attractive? Isn't that arguing that physical attractiveness shouldn't matter to men at all?
For what it is worth, that "there aren't any Godly _____" line is used by both sides. These forums are a great example.
You either like someone or you don't. You don't "choose" to like someone in a way that will lead to a healthy marriage.
A girl that is constantly concerned about "not being attractive" will turn away most men without even speaking to them a lot of the time. Who, in their right mind, wants to be the anchor for such an emotional black hole? Especially if there are others "competing" for interest who don't pose that problem as much? Let me put it this way.
Person is afraid/concerned they are not attractive.
Person's fixation, fear, and "shyness" because of this causes them to be less "attractive."
Person is less "attractive" than others who are not as inhibited by this fear.
Person blames it soley on their physical appearance.
Person continues spiral, and remains "unattractive."
I don't really get the Mandy Moore reference. Are you saying that someone who happens to be physically attractive should be not be more likely to find someone that finds her attractive? Isn't that arguing that physical attractiveness shouldn't matter to men at all?
For what it is worth, that "there aren't any Godly _____" line is used by both sides. These forums are a great example.
You either like someone or you don't. You don't "choose" to like someone in a way that will lead to a healthy marriage.
Last edited:
I might be a pessimist but i dont think you really can just be a really holy and good christian and find a good mate without God. To do that you need to act like the world otherwise your dating pool is more like 1%. Most christian guys and girls i know who find mates i would class as worldly in a number of respects. To their loss, no girl wants someone apparently 'too spiritual', or anyone who is holier than she is.