Overthinkiing

[ManiaStar]

Does anyone else have a problem w/ over thinking certain situations? Whether it's w/ a job, w/ co-workers, w/ friends or other situations?

I tend to be a worrier, overthinker, and doubter. Often times when i pray, God gives me peace about certain situations, yet, even w/ the peace, it makes me question/doubt/worry and sometimes overthink.

I am not sure how to make steps to stop doing that and all those times that i had the peace yet still had those other feelings, the situation always worked out and I always think, dummy me, what was my point of worrying and why did i do that?

Even w/ 1 of my friends. Sometimes I feel like I'm over staying my stay at their house or some weeks, i see them 4 or 5 days out of the week for a few hours and, i question myself if I should continue to go over to their house yet they don't say anything and we always have fun together so, I'm assuming if they didn't want me to come over everyday, they'd speak up and say something. Like last night, I mentioned something to them about picking something up today after work. And he seemed questionable about it but said yea, let's go pick it up tomorrow evening but, now, i'm just questioning/doubting saying maybe I should just leave them alone even though we spoke about it and I was going to pick up what i need to pick up and they were going to look for other things at this store.

I need to know if there's any way I can work on this other then just telling me to STOP. That doesn't help me to think of stopping.

Has anyone else had this issue w/ anything or anyone? And if you've overcome this, please share!!

 

[Sirk]

Does anyone else have a problem w/ over thinking certain situations? Whether it's w/ a job, w/ co-workers, w/ friends or other situations?

I tend to be a worrier, overthinker, and doubter. Often times when i pray, God gives me peace about certain situations, yet, even w/ the peace, it makes me question/doubt/worry and sometimes overthink.

I am not sure how to make steps to stop doing that and all those times that i had the peace yet still had those other feelings, the situation always worked out and I always think, dummy me, what was my point of worrying and why did i do that?

Even w/ 1 of my friends. Sometimes I feel like I'm over staying my stay at their house or some weeks, i see them 4 or 5 days out of the week for a few hours and, i question myself if I should continue to go over to their house yet they don't say anything and we always have fun together so, I'm assuming if they didn't want me to come over everyday, they'd speak up and say something. Like last night, I mentioned something to them about picking something up today after work. And he seemed questionable about it but said yea, let's go pick it up tomorrow evening but, now, i'm just questioning/doubting saying maybe I should just leave them alone even though we spoke about it and I was going to pick up what i need to pick up and they were going to look for other things at this store.

I need to know if there's any way I can work on this other then just telling me to STOP. That doesn't help me to think of stopping.

Has anyone else had this issue w/ anything or anyone? And if you've overcome this, please share!!

It's called ruminating and it is emotionally exhausting. When I have some sort of pressure that I am feeling and I keep thinking about it I just ask myself if it is something I can do anything about. If the answer is no then I just say to myself....this is gonna wear you out and you are gonna suffer for it later with exhaustion....is it worth it? Then I put the thought away...it comes back and I tell it that I have control over my thoughts and I am choosing a different one. Sometimes it takes a few times but that is how I defeat ruminating unhealthy thoughts.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...-seven-hidden-dangers-brooding-and-ruminating

 

[Born_Again]

It's called ruminating and it is emotionally exhausting. When I have some sort of pressure that I am feeling and I keep thinking about it I just ask myself if it is something I can do anything about. If the answer is no then I just say to myself....this is gonna wear you out and you are gonna suffer for it later with exhaustion....is it worth it? Then I put the thought away...it comes back and I tell it that I have control over my thoughts and I am choosing a different one. Sometimes it takes a few times but that is how I defeat ruminating unhealthy thoughts.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...-seven-hidden-dangers-brooding-and-ruminating

Ditto!! My thoughts exactly

 

[zeroturbulence]

I'm overthinking how to reply to this...

 

[cinder]

Yeah I can be a chronic over thinker so I've dealt with it. While I will always be an advocate of planning and being prepared, I have come to see how I can take it to extremes and end up spending more of my time anticipating life than living what's actually happening. One of the big things that's helped me is to narrow my focus to action points. I kind of just have to take myself by the scruff of the neck and say "Ok cinder, so what are you going to do about / in this situation?" And sometimes if I'm getting overwhelmed by things narrowing it down to just the next step instead of figuring out all of the steps can help too.

I've found that one of the big things for me in doing this is a combination of self-reliance, lack of trust (in God and other people), and feeling like if I mess up it will have bad consequences for everyone else. Occasionally God has to remind me that I'm not the savior, Christ is, and the whole world does not depend on me to keep it going.

As to specific situations involving worrying over relationships, I'm a huge fan of direct communication so asking them point blank if you are spending too much time with them (or turn it into a statement that you think it's unhealthy for you and want to branch out and ask them to help keep you accountable by not letting you spend more than a certain amount of time with them) is an option I would consider. Really though it takes the willingness to be honest on both sides, so if they'll never say anything about you spending too much time, they are partly responsible for allowing you to have that much of their time. Try to be respectful of their time and pick up on subtle hints, but don't stress yourself out over hunting for hidden meanings. Life's too short to waste all your energy on that.

 

[seoulsearch]

Me? Overthink things???

NEVER.

Why, I hardly think at all.


Cinder already said most of what I'd have to say, as is so typical!! Between her and Lynx always interpreting for me, I should probably just stop talking altogether.

 

[ember]

ha...I can sure identify. In fact, more than one person has told me that I think too much. I'm like...how is that possible?

but I used to ultra worry about what people think...or if I should do this or that...and if someone looked at me sideways I would be worried I had done something wrong or whatever

thankfully, I'm not that bad anymore....I've learned that most of the time people are too busy thinking about themself and not about you LOL!

and I prayed a whole lot cause I was pretty shy....I would say that a good portion of it was caused by how I was brought up...the neighbors were always looking, I should act like this and not like that or don't laugh so loud or what would so and so think ... my mother was ultra critical and that is something you have to get over...I was a bit of a wild child...not in a bad way, but I was just not the daughter she and her family thought I should be

I'm more of a live and let live kind of person and it turns out, I don't have to have the attitudes or way of thinking that I was brought up with. I am so much better now...no one is going to ever be liked by everybody and no matter how hard we try, sooner or later we will offend some without meaning to...you can't live for other people...not as a Christian...being a Christian does not mean you have to be someone's cookie cutter version of morality or actions.

I just truthfully prayed alot about how to live without everyone's judgement...some people are just more sensitive than others ... call it over thinking or whatever, but you can be almost too self-aware and most people, IMO, are not that self-aware...and certainly not that aware of how we perceive ourselves...

and you can always ask too

 

[ntw1103]

Yes.

I over-think everything.


Overcoming it?
I wouldn't say that I've stopped over-thinking things. What has changed though, is that while I think about things, probably far too much, I don't worry about those things. The worry that I used to feel about things has been replaced with Peace, by trusting God.

Usually, it is the things that I care about, that are important to me that I tend to over thing on.. so, I over think my cares. "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: [SUP]7 [/SUP]Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7
So, instead of worrying about these things, I'm supposed to cast them on everything, all of it on to Him. How do I do that?

A good start, is to start talking to him about these things that I over think. After all, the bible says to "Pray without ceasing." 1 Thessalonians 5:17 Philippians addresses this:

"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
[SUP]7 [/SUP]And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

[SUP]8 [/SUP]Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you." Philippians 4:6-9

I can't say it better than the above verses. It certainly changed my way of thinking.

Pray/talk to God, and don't dwell on things, but instead trust him.

[SUP]"[/SUP]Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is." Jeremiah 17:7







Also, check out Matthew 6:25-34 (for the sake of keeping this under a mile long, I'll just link to it.)

 

[zeroturbulence]

I overthink so much that when I finally make up my mind it's too late...

 

[Tinkerbell725]

I overthink because I have a lot of brains.

Sometimes I avoid overthinking and just do the opposite by being impulsive. Sure it makes you do stupid little things sometimes that you regret later but the feeling of being free and not caring about results or simply trusting God that it will work is definitely worth it specially if it really works out.

 

[zeroturbulence]

This thread has me overthinking about overthinking.. :O

 

[keep_on_smiling]

I've always been an over thinker and it's exhausting. This is year I was put in an extremely difficult position and I can see how it could have taken over my life and every thought. What helped me, was to read my bible daily and to focus on the blessings that the Lord has put in my life. Did my overthinking disappear completely? No, not always, but I was more easily able to redirect myself when I would start to go down the road of thinking and worrying.

 

[ntw1103]

 

[AsifinPassing]

Does anyone else have a problem w/ over thinking certain situations? Whether it's w/ a job, w/ co-workers, w/ friends or other situations?

I tend to be a worrier, overthinker, and doubter. Often times when i pray, God gives me peace about certain situations, yet, even w/ the peace, it makes me question/doubt/worry and sometimes overthink.

I am not sure how to make steps to stop doing that and all those times that i had the peace yet still had those other feelings, the situation always worked out and I always think, dummy me, what was my point of worrying and why did i do that?

Even w/ 1 of my friends. Sometimes I feel like I'm over staying my stay at their house or some weeks, i see them 4 or 5 days out of the week for a few hours and, i question myself if I should continue to go over to their house yet they don't say anything and we always have fun together so, I'm assuming if they didn't want me to come over everyday, they'd speak up and say something. Like last night, I mentioned something to them about picking something up today after work. And he seemed questionable about it but said yea, let's go pick it up tomorrow evening but, now, i'm just questioning/doubting saying maybe I should just leave them alone even though we spoke about it and I was going to pick up what i need to pick up and they were going to look for other things at this store.

I need to know if there's any way I can work on this other then just telling me to STOP. That doesn't help me to think of stopping.

Has anyone else had this issue w/ anything or anyone? And if you've overcome this, please share!!

There's a point in which I don't think overthinking is possible, because how could you ever think enough? (other than in situations that require immediate action...)

Also, in the context of worry and doubt (which are separate issues from overthinking...):

For worry, Jesus gives us some pretty cool words in Matthew 6 and Luke 12. He asks if worrying can actually accomplish anything? "Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

If we think about it...the answer is no. Worry really doesn't benefit us (or others) in any way...

If that's not enough, we also borrow from (or create) worries that don't even exist yet. Jesus also tells us to cool it with that. "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today's trouble is enough for today."

So, don't worry about it. (Hey! That isn't helpful!) Actually...it is. Why are you worried in the first place?

...which segues me into: Doubt.

Perhaps worrying is a secondary function (or by-product) of doubt. What is it that you doubt? You will be deficient in some way... You will fail... You will be left alone... something else? Well, Jesus and/or Paul (and thereby Scripture) actually deals will all this to:

Jesus talks about not worry about clothes or food (basic needs), and asks us to consider the plants and animals. They don't seem to worry or store away (mostly), and yet God provides for the natural world every day.

Paul tells us that "He who began a good work in us is faithful," and that He will "carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ."

Jesus, several profits, and nearly all the angels in scripture all said, "Do not be afraid." The OT & NT say multiple times that we are not alone, for God is with us. There no where you can go where He is not, and no need you could possibly have that He would not provide for.

So where does that leave us? You may know that, but still feel doubt and worry. Well, I have two thoughts on that. One (Paraphrasing):

"Be anxious for nothing, but in all things, through prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, make your requests made known to God."

So are we praying? If we are...

"You have not because you ask not, or because when you ask...you ask for the wrong reasons such as selfish gain."

I also think there's an aspect of asking for the wrong things... For example: "God, please make me rich."

Well, God has every right to say no, and why do you need to be rich? "Man cannot serve both God and money." There's a lot to consider in this regard.

Past that... if our sin is not prayerlessness, then it may be disbelief. James actually tells us that (again paraphrasing) "if anyone is lacking in anything, let them ask God who gives generously without finding fault, but they must believe He will help them. The one who doesn't believe shouldn't expect much, because they're not really asking seriously or sincerely.

It makes me think of the father who's son was possessed, and he comes to Jesus. He asks Jesus to heal his son IF he can... to which Jesus asks, "If I can? Everything is possible for one who believes."

The father replied, "I believe. Help my unbelief." ...and the boy was healed. There are also many times when Jesus tells people it was not necessarily Him healing them by some miracle (in a magical, mystical sense), but that 'your faith has made you well'.

So, I think things like worry and doubt really come back to not trusting God. We don't necessarily believe in who He is or what He says, sometimes. We think things are different today, or for us, or in this case... but God is God. Then, now, and always. He can do for you all the things He's done for countless others, but do you want Him to? Do you ask Him? Will you let and believe Him when He says He'll do something?

I think prayerlessness and unbelief are central spiritual issues with most of us today, and perhaps throughout all history.