okay thanks people, that has been a lot of answers... I'm processing all that... I can not be online all the time so I'll be on and off...
so there has been questions about where i stand, which i find legitimate, although i do not want to debate, or push my views, or present facts and arguments, mostly i would like to ask questions and evaluate your answers, and maybe discuss them if you are willing.
I stated that I am an agnostic because i take it to mean that i do not know that God or gods exist. it is a knowledge statement, basically, an abscence of certainty. i feel it is legitimate to ask you guys, who seem to believe with no doubt, how you achieve that certainty. i would go along with pottersclay there. pottersclay is an agnostic just like me, by what he says... and it seems like a reasonable position to me, but one that requires further inquiry.
it has to be noted though, that agnosticism says nothing about belief. pottersclay does not know but he believes and i am glad for his honesty, he is an agnostic theist. i can only respond by saying that i do not know and i do not beleive either, because i think that the default position is to not believe(do new borns believe in jesus? seems not). which i guess makes me an agnostic atheist. but the point is that i'm not saying God doesn't exist, i just haven't found a reason, or experienced anything that makes me believe. So i'm looking around to see if there is such a reason... i'm trying to find out if any god exist. you people might help me, because "something" makes you believe in Jesus. i'd like to understand what.
I am also talking to other people, such as muslims and hindoos as well as hard core atheists, to try to stay open minded. i do not start with the premise that christianity is correct, in a true scientific spirit i start with the premise that god does not exists and now i'm doing my best to disprove that premise. if christianity proves to be the truth, then i'll accept it, same if it is islam or hindouism or buddhism or just plain atheism. those who do not like this approach can ignore that thread of course, i'd like to talk to the others who are willing to do this with me.
an other question was :
Karaka....May I ask what you have heard about God......and what hinders your belief in his existence?
well so far i have heard a lot about various gods, i have read the entire bible, the entire quran and hadith, and part of the hindoo book which i can't spell the name off, i have also been thoroughly trained in science (including biology, physics and cosmology) and i am an avid reader of philosophy. my current interest is mostly epistemology, the philosophy of knowledge, how we know things are true, how we can tell they are true, how we can be certain of anything. From a position of what could be called apatheism, a non belief in god due to a plain lack of interest in the concept, i now find that to be honest with myself i need to look into the matter in depth. it is an important matter after all. i still do not believe in god because i have not so far been convinced and have not experienced god personally like some of you describe. I am not affirming that god doesn't exist i just don't think so. i'm mostly concerned about truth. i'd appreciate a civil and respectfull discussion about this and that is the reason i signed up on this website. i find that drunken discussions about the matter at parties with friends or strangers do not enlighten anybody much so i'm trying another way. please understand that i am not trying to offend anyone and i don't have a hidden agenda beside what i am explaining here. by the sound of it you encountered some no so kind atheists and agnostics in the past, i hope that will not prevent you from discussing those fascinating matters with me. i just believe in discussion and sharing knowledge and trying to figure out what's what. and who can better talk about their beliefs than beleivers? if i just read atheists books and websites i'll never learn anything about belief in God.
if you have any other questions about my motives or positions please shoot, and then i'd like to go into the specific answers you gave me and discuss them, especially the personal experience one, which seem to be a recurent one and not only with you christians.