Afraid

[NewWine]

Cookie?

I'll take a cookie if no one else wants it.


For the OP.....I am keeping you in my prayers for Guidance, joy, strength, courage and mostly peace!
Be encouraged, these feelings of discouragement and fear are only a season, and all seasons change. Even if your situation doesn't change, the season will change, and you will see something new on the horizon.
Peace!!

 

[Utah]

whoah dude...utah even

ugly states welcome to life

yeah, that ain't life

if I wrote all I have been through...and it's plenty....I could hang my head and look up to see the curb too

but Jesus came that we might have life and have it more abundantly

we are ALWAYS going to fail if we depend on others for our happiness and or peace

ps...I don't have virgin ears or mouth, but a little less rough language would be ok on this forum...

still love you in Christ!

I have amazing respect for you, my sister, but we're going to agree to disagree on this one and leave it at that. No doubt we can not go through life depending on others for our happiness, but when you're in the belly of the beast, it is indeed comforting to know someone understands because they've been there. I believe that was the overall essence of Ugly's post, but he's a big boy and I'll defer to him for any further discussion on the matter.

 

[Acr96]

Prayers for you! You sound like you are really trying. I appluad you for not giving up. The best I can suggest is continue to look to the LORD. He is where your help and guidance comes from. I do agree with maybe looking into a trust worthy roomate. Prayers!

 

[Angela53510]

Been divorced 4 months now. Living in a studio apartment. Renewed my lease. I'm afraid. I don't want to live alone rest of my life in this apartment. I want my own house or mobile home with a cat and dog. Feel so lost and forgotten. I believed with all my heart God lead me to get married, now I'm divorced cause my ex couldn't keep his pants on. I don't understand what God wants. I work 7 days week to pay rent , etc. I'm so tired. I don't know what else to do but what I'm doing. It's hard to even go to church cause by the time I'm done working I'm to tired to go to a church. Well, thanks for reading.

Losing a spouse, whether through death or divorce is the highest stressor on the list of all stresses. So this is going to be the most difficult time in your life. Sometimes just knowing that, is half the battle. And recovering from any stress this big is going to take at least a year. So you are right in the middle - and it is going to take time to sort through the feelings and for the pain to lessen.

I agree that you do need to utilize your church, not just for going to a Sunday service, but for support and care. Try and get some counseling, even if it is from a lay person. And do seek out a divorce care group, even if that means going to a different church.

As for working so much, I don't know what to say. Did you get nothing from your former marriage? Like half of the assets? If not, why not? Maybe it is too late to back over that bridge, or maybe there were no assests. But if your husband was at fault, there should be some recompense. If that is part of the issue, then my heart goes out to you.

As for your relationship with God, be assured that God is with you in the midst of this trial, even if it doesn't seem like it right now.

"But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." Isa. 43:1-3a

It may seem strange, but now that you are alone, it is the time to really lean on the Lord. And that might mean crying out and raging against him. But God understands what you are going through. I always advise people to read the Psalms, as they are full of trials and tribulations. And in all but a few times, in the end the Psalmist praises God. The New Testament also tells us that although we suffer, God will use it to help us grow in character. Although right now, that probably doesn't seem like any consolation at all! I do know this passage really has helped me over and over, when the pain from Rheumatoid Arthritis has seemed to have ruined my life. But I know Jesus is in control and loves me. And I know that God understands, even though I may not.

"More than that, we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character and character produces hope. And hope does not disappoint, because God's love has been poured out through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5

"Heavenly Father, I just bring Mokie before your throne. You know her hurt and frustration with what life has dealt her. You understand the grief over this lost marriage, the fear for the future, and the resentment that is in her heart. I pray that you would use this opportunity to build a deeper relationship with her through the pain. I would pray that your Holy Spirit would draw her closer to you, and that she would once again know the joy of your salvation. Give her your peace, and bring people into her life to encourage and comfort her. You are the God of all comfort, and I pray that each day Mokie would feel your comfort, and that the hope we have in you would help her through this dark period in her life. In Jesus name I pray, Amen."

 

[Angela53510]

UGLY....you just lived up to your screen name....mokie22yrold did not ask for your life's history to be dished in her face. How insensitive can one be? She is seeking help and CHRISTIAN advice...and you offered more confusion, more fuel on the fire and a sad, ugly picture that she nor anybody else needs. She needs to heal. She needs direction. She does not need to be dumped on with more negativity.
We understand that you represent confusion, but must you continually offer it up as a solution? You could of easily said "I understand...and together we can pray and get this into one accord, and let the Holy Spirit take control here.." or something to that effect. I pray for YOU..that the NEGATIVE spirit that you excerpt here on a daily basis will FLEE..in the name of JESUS!!!!!

Normally I have you on ignore, pwrnJC, but I thought I would give you another chance. Oops! My bad! I remember why I put you on ignore! Because you are the most negative and angry person whose posts I have ever read. OK, maybe that is a slight exaggeration. So I apologize for that.

My thought is that you don't seem to have a lot of empathy or compassion. I know those were some of the characteristics Jesus had. So perhaps this is an area you need to develop.

It is rather ironical that someone writes a post that is really sad, (Ugly) because he was triggered by the OP, and that you attack him even further in his suffering. You might start by thinking, "How would I feel if my life was like this?" OR "How could I write a post that would encourage both the OP and Ugly, who is obviously struggling?" Here are some verses that may help you understand how God wants us to treat those who are struggling or suffering.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too." 2 Cor. 1:3-5

Would you feel comforted if some started attacking you and saying you had a negative spirit, and casting it out? Probably not! But then, maybe you have never had to suffer or endure anything, so you have not been able to develop the kindness and gentleness that are fruits of the Holy Spirit. (Gal. 5:22-23) That is the interesting thing about suffering is that it does have a purpose. And of course, God can use ANYTHING for our good!

So I pray for you, that perhaps as you read the posts here, pwrnJC, you will begin to see life, not through black and white glasses, but instead see the colour and brightness that is our life till Jesus returns. Some of those colours are somber, but they are not about "evil" or "negative" spirits, but rather the truth of living on this fallen earth. And we can all certainly grow in character, so I pray that you will begin to see life through the lense of love, in the name of Jesus. Amen!

 

[Angela53510]

I'm 40, never been married. The woman i thought i should marry won't give me a second chance, though i did nothing wrong the first time. Yet she gives whatever random guy she meets on dating sites chances. I spent half my 20's living in a 2 bedroom apartment with my gf and her 3 kids... i got the couch. The next half i spent living in my car, in an area it was a misdemeanor to sleep in your car. When i left that area and moved back in with my dad i got sick. And spent the past almost decade having constant health problems, along with the depression i've battled since i was 14. I've never owned a house, never even rented an apartment of my own. Never had a car that i didn't have help getting. I am pretty much certain now that i will live alone, sick and die alone. This is only a tiny portion of the things i've dealt with. Welcome to life.

Sending you some big hugs, Ugly! Just remember that God is in control, even if it seems like you really got the rotten end of the stick. I"m sorry for your depression, and your situation probably just makes it worse.

Have you been able to see a doctor about your depression? I know people who have life long depression, but medication really does help them. Of course, circumstances are making it worse, but at least you might be able to find some good things if your brain was better able to deal with the disease of severe depression.

"Our gracious Lord and Father, I just intercede for Ugly, and the pain he is experiencing. Help him to find a way to overcome this depression so he can cope with what seems to be his lot in life. Further, bring people into his life who could support him and encourage him through his life, which seems barely tolerable right now. I pray for peace, and that he would experience your joy, which has nothing to do with this lif or our circumstances, but instead our relationship with you. In Jesus precious name I pray, Amen."

 

[notuptome]

Proverbs 29:25 ¶ The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.

Thought of this thread this AM when I read this verse.

For the cause of Christ
Roger

 

[Depleted]

Been divorced 4 months now. Living in a studio apartment. Renewed my lease. I'm afraid. I don't want to live alone rest of my life in this apartment. I want my own house or mobile home with a cat and dog. Feel so lost and forgotten. I believed with all my heart God lead me to get married, now I'm divorced cause my ex couldn't keep his pants on. I don't understand what God wants. I work 7 days week to pay rent , etc. I'm so tired. I don't know what else to do but what I'm doing. It's hard to even go to church cause by the time I'm done working I'm to tired to go to a church. Well, thanks for reading.

I remember you. You wrote one of the first posts I saw on this forum. I was as new as you were back then, so I couldn't answer. You were terrified then. It was the first time you dared the word "divorce." If I'm not mistaken, that was when you got that apartment.

And then I remember you from last autumn too. You had two jobs back then, didn't know if you could survive, scared to death, and terribly, terribly lonely.

Now you're all the way up to blaming the right person for that divorce ad with a little bit of attitude. (That's a good thing for something like this. It means you're holding your head a little higher.)

Do you remember the woman you were last April? Do you remember the woman you were last September? No, you didn't get that huge miracle where the right guy comes along... and that whole stuff so many believe they're due, but you have something that will take you further. A track record. You didn't think you could do this last April, but you did. You didn't think you could do this last September, but you did. God is helping you. He's eternal, so what we think of as a looooooooooong time, he's working through for your good, because he loves you.

Remember how long it was between the time God told Abram he'd have a son and he actually gave him the son? Gen. 15 is when God made his promise. Gen. 16 -- 10 years later -- is where Abram and Sarai got tired of waiting. Gen. 17 -- 14 years after that -- Isaac finally came.

It seems short to us, because we just read it. Abraham and Sarah lived it. God spent 24 years fine tuning those two just for this one thing. Look how far he's taken you in 10 months! You're still afraid. I get that. I m afraid while going through what I'm going through now, BUT I can look back and see God has taken me places. I honestly HATE where God is taking me now. (Hate it with a passion!

)

But I also see what he's taken me through in the past to work me up to this spot. It is for my good even if I'm scared. This is what God does for his kids. It's not "to his kids." It's "for."

And when you look back on how utterly terrified you were last April, how frightened you were last September, and compare it to today, you have to know he's taken you further than you thought you could ever go. And he's still taking you where it is good for you because he loves you.

Little by little you are doing it, even if you're afraid. That's God.

What he wants? He wants you to trust him in doing stuff you may not like to make you more like him. He's turning us into who we were designed to be.

 

[JosephsDreams]

Ugly, (I laugh every time I see your avatar). Your not a punching bag. You cared enough to respond. But I don't think the OP needed to hear the obvious about life. I am sure she had already realized everything you stated. Even if you meant it to helpful, I can be wrong, but I doubt it was. There is a time to be blunt, and in your face. But I don't think, judging by the OP"s post, this was not one of them.

 

[chanchuinchoy]

How can you have a relationship with God without finding/spending time with Him due to your buziness in life?

 

[Sirk]

Been divorced 4 months now. Living in a studio apartment. Renewed my lease. I'm afraid. I don't want to live alone rest of my life in this apartment. I want my own house or mobile home with a cat and dog. Feel so lost and forgotten. I believed with all my heart God lead me to get married, now I'm divorced cause my ex couldn't keep his pants on. I don't understand what God wants. I work 7 days week to pay rent , etc. I'm so tired. I don't know what else to do but what I'm doing. It's hard to even go to church cause by the time I'm done working I'm to tired to go to a church. Well, thanks for reading.

I can relate. It's easy to isolate yourself. It's hard when you don't know who your real friends are. But the truth is that you are going to be okay.

 

[mokie22yrold]

Thanks every one for your love, prayers, encouragement. I am doing ok. I can see I'm blessed more then I ever thought. I'm still scared about stuff but I'm getting better...I think. ..I do not think it's right for others to bash my post with negative words. I know everyone has struggles. I'm not the only one. I know that..but when one comes to a Christian site for support why some have to be so judgemental. Can you walk on water? ? Only one I know of is Jesus. Its one thing to be encouraging but I don't get into people thinking they better then me cause they NOT.. I really did find encouragement in reading replies...cept for couple and y'all seem to know who. Please keep praying for me. The worst is the incredible loneliness I have.. now I'm crying.

 

[Depleted]

Thanks every one for your love, prayers, encouragement. I am doing ok. I can see I'm blessed more then I ever thought. I'm still scared about stuff but I'm getting better...I think. ..I do not think it's right for others to bash my post with negative words. I know everyone has struggles. I'm not the only one. I know that..but when one comes to a Christian site for support why some have to be so judgemental. Can you walk on water? ? Only one I know of is Jesus. Its one thing to be encouraging but I don't get into people thinking they better then me cause they NOT.. I really did find encouragement in reading replies...cept for couple and y'all seem to know who. Please keep praying for me. The worst is the incredible loneliness I have.. now I'm crying.

Can I walk on water? YES!

Oh wait! Do you mean without sinking right after stepping on it? Oops. Then no.

(I think you have hit the point where you feel okay to laugh at silly answers. I hope so, because I find if I can laugh just once a day then the rest of the day is survivable.)

 

[Jesus4ever]

Praying for you, sister!

May God bless you!

 

[Joidevivre]

I hear you Mokie - life just isn't always fair. I have been through so many things but these things that God has promised keep me focused. I give thanks for these things even before I see the evidence. And it always comes. I hope they help you:

I WILL TRUST THAT I WILL ALWAYS…
Have what I need.
Have the path laid out before me.
Hear his voice.
Have his presence beside me.
Have the presence of someone he sends me.
Have the presence of ministering angels.
Have a gift of joy in some way each day.
Have his peace inside me.
Be able to overcome trials/temptations.
Have his strength/power in me.

Be under his control.
Be loved unconditionally and deeply.
Be given a sign of his presence.