Raising up a brat

PepperJack · Apr 17, 2016

Raising up "brats" is tough.

I'm reading Isaiah chapter 1, and verse 2 reads, Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth: for the LORD hath spoken, I have nourished and brought up children, and they have rebelled against me.

How many of you have rebellious teenagers? You raised them up the best you know how, and for some reason, your little "angels" manage to have horns sticking out through their halos.

Driving my son to work this morning, he's telling me that a woman that he works for has to appear in court because her two teenagers, ages 14 and 16 simply will not go to school.
I do not know where the dad is.

I raised three teenagers, and when they get a mind of their own, they do get hard to handle. They think that they know it all, and that mom and dad are the stupidest people ever! They can be 14 going on 35!

And you do have to be careful now days in how you discipline your kids. If your child acts up in Walmart for example, and you decide to discipline your child on the backside, you will some people call the law on you. And if you do not discipline your child, some people gets angry over that. So you feel damn if you do, and damn if you don't.

And should the parents have to paid for it, when your child get caught smoking in school?

Your darling little angels can turn into brats. Many times when I read about the children of Israel rebelling, I say to God, Are these the children of Israel, or did you think of them as being the "brats" of Israel?

I know that many of you have far greater wisdom than I do. And now my kids are now adults. Thank God for that! But my question for you, What is the best way in today's society, to raise up your children, so they won't even think about being rebellious, or the parents going to the court system or possibility to Jail?

PepperJack

Joidevivre · Apr 17, 2016

Short of moving into the wilds of Alaska and "roughing" it with your kids in solitude with just nature, you mostly pray and then pray some more.

They also become your focus (like listening to, spending time with, and encouraging them in their strengths). You love and pray.

BeyondET · Apr 17, 2016

It happens parents can do all the right things say all the right things teach all the right things but yet off springs still rebel and do there own thing probably somewhere in the DNA code from pass generations this has continued to carry onto the next generation affecting some siblings etc. but not all of the generations. Could be Surely one of the reasons for the NT. I have three siblings two sisters one brother and me make four of us. Me and one of my siblings are just like each other when we were young we rebelled but my other siblings never gave my parents any problems. Go figure lol..

Depleted · Apr 17, 2016

PepperJack said:

I prefer rebellious kids, if they think it out for themselves instead of going along to get along. In this day and age, it would be nice if someone rebelled because too many think, "That's just how it is."

Two of my uncles (brothers) lived in the same development. They also had the oldest kids in the development mostly because they were the two who literally developed it, and it's the kind of place you'd like to raise your young family. I'm about the same age as their kids, and in one particular year, I lived with one of those uncles -- so lived with my cousins too. We were hellraisers. Got to admit it. And my other uncle spoiled his kids rotten.

Finally, the neighbors marched over to his house one night and demanded he do something about his kids. He already tried everything, so he simply told them, "When your kids are teenagers, and BEHAVE, then you have the right to come back to me to tell me what I'm doing wrong.

Funny how life works out. One of the wives in that crowd lost her husband a couple of years late. The uncle I stayed with (not the father of the spoiled kids), ended up getting divorced from his spoiled wife a couple of years later. Add another couple of years to that timeline and those two were married.

One day we were gathered at one of the uncle's house, when that woman said to my uncle, "I was there that night you said that and I was abhorred by your response. A few years later I found myself a single mother with teenagers and thought, "Man! He is so right!"

That's teenagers for you. You just never know what to expect, but they'll surprise you nonetheless.

That one uncle's kids? Two of them are the sweetest, kindest adults, parents, and grandparents you could ever meet. The third one?

My uncle is still bewildered by all of it. lol

JustAnotherUser · Apr 17, 2016

I ask myself this sometimes since it is hard to raise children with law being applied to just about everything. Liberals tend to justify their means through force without giving second thought to the opposition, otherwise they will use the fascist state of labeling you as some bigot and may even turn the law against you once they have the chance. It's downright awful.

I would not promote beating your kid(s) with a wooden spoon or the belt as I once thought it should have been advocated. But 'giving talks' does not cut it either. Living by example can also go to great lengths and I believe while DNA can help structure your response to certain settings, examples need to be led which includes authority over one's children. Taking your children out of the government's hands (regulations, public schooling, etc.) may also help.

Ugly · Apr 17, 2016

Well the first step is your personal outlook towards your kids. If you view your kids as brats you're going to treat them the same way.
I have a cousin. He and his wife have 4 daughters. 2 of them are around 18/19-ish and the other two are pre-teen. They are all smart, talented, well behaved, loving children. Homeschooled. Lives outside of town up in the mountains. The expectations on them are high, sometimes I think a little too high. But so far they are all rising to the challenge. The two oldest have been performing in bluegrass/gospel/country bands on stages since they were young teens. They have won competitions. They play piano, stand up bass, violin and sing. The younger two are just starting to get involved as well.
They are all also horse riders with the older two having won competitions since they were younger. All of them are practically artists. They all are learning German, with the oldest having spent a few months in Germany.
The oldest had some behavioral issues when young, but they got her on medication that keeps her leveled out.

All of this to say there are things to do to help prevent the rebelliousness that happened in so many teens. But there are no guarantees. I knew a teen girl when I was a teen who was sweet as could be. Christian. And went to public school. I knew a few like that. And while they had their moments of frustration towards their parents, it was minimal and not always verbalized to them.
There is part nature and part nurture. Some kids come from horrible homes and rise above it. Some kids come from great family's and sink well below the family standards. All you can do is learn the ideal ways to do things. Pray and above all make sure your kid knows they're loved. Sometimes kids have to learn things the hard way before coming back to how they were raised. But soon as you reflect an attitude that suggests you have given up on them don't expect them to believe in themselves either.

Justcallmetinman · Apr 17, 2016

I wonder how many giving advice actually have kids. lol................
I need more coffee

Ugly · Apr 17, 2016

Justcallmetinman said:

Considering most people seem clueless on how to raise kids, having one, or more, doesn't necessarily qualify a person to answer this question.

coby2 · Apr 17, 2016

Disciple them and introduce them to Jesus and let the dad be the boss and raise them well. If my kids are annoying I do not care about keeping up appearances for the people around. I once saw a woman tell her daughter who was horrible: oh now sweety, don't do that sweety. Mommy doesn't like that sweety. I saw it and thought: this must be fake.
Lol they weren't even around the corner and I heard her yelling: I'm never going with you to this playground anymore! Wawawawawawawa!!
Lol

coby2 · Apr 17, 2016

Rebellious you get if you're too slimy or too strict.

Justcallmetinman · Apr 17, 2016

Ugly said:

Most people seem clueless? Where do you get your facts from?
......When I need my car repaired I hire a mechanic..........................

JustWhoIAm · Apr 17, 2016

God can change the rebelliousness into a serious desire to go against the grain for the sake of the kingdom ^^

Tinkerbell725 · Apr 17, 2016

Proverbs 23:13-14 NLT

Don’t fail to discipline your children. The rod of punishment won’t kill them. Physical discipline may well save them from death.

But a brat is already a product of parents who did not take time and effort or failed to discipline their child when he was younger. Parents must now work harder to discipline that brat. Physical discipline will not work any more. It's too late. Proper boundaries might work. But it depends on how rebellious the brat is. It would take a lot of hard work and prayers to succeed. Its the price of the negligence of the parents in their duty to discipline the child earlier.

coby2 · Apr 17, 2016

Tinkerbell725 said:

My ex sometimes gives them a hit, not hard, that's also forbidden here. I lied to the kids cops that he didn't. Stupid neighbour called the police because he let the youngest cry and then he said he'd hit him. I said: oh yeah he was just frustrated.
My ex how he was raised was child abuse and his mother was witchy controlling, but he said when they offered him drugs he thought: what would my mom say? He was afraid of his mom as a 20 year old and didn't take it.

Joidevivre · Apr 17, 2016

I sort of like Depleted comments that she likes rebellious kids. I raised 5 teenagers at the same time 13 to 19, and it was the one daughter (the rebellious one ) who, when she turned her life around, threw herself at Jesus the with the same depth she threw herself into sin and drugs.

My other more cautious children are all Christians also, but it is this daughter who is the Christian counselor, and leader of women's bible studies. She throws herself into worship and scripture. Journals about God.

Of course, when that daughter was at her worst, it was not exactly fun for me. In fact, it was downright scary.

A lot of comments have been made here about DNA, but I rate peer pressure very high no matter what the parents do.

coby2 · Apr 17, 2016

Joidevivre said:

I sort of like Depleted comments that she likes rebellious kids. I raised 5 teenagers at the same time 13 to 19, and it was the one daughter (the rebellious one ) who, when she turned her life around, threw herself at Jesus the with the same depth she threw herself into sin and drugs.

My other more cautious children are all Christians also, but it is this daughter who is the Christian counselor, and leader of women's bible studies. She throws herself into worship and scripture. Journals about God.

Of course, when that daughter was at her worst, it was not exactly fun for me. In fact, it was downright scary.

A lot of comments have been made here about DNA, but I rate peer pressure very high no matter what the parents do.

Makes me think of that girl from the Brownsville revival. She was horrible. She'd scream when her nail broke, very rebellious. She got a new name. Totally different person.

Justcallmetinman · Apr 17, 2016

Depleted said:

I prefer rebellious kids, if they think it out for themselves instead of going along to get along. In this day and age, it would be nice if someone rebelled because too many think, "That's just how it is."

Two of my uncles (brothers) lived in the same development. They also had the oldest kids in the development mostly because they were the two who literally developed it, and it's the kind of place you'd like to raise your young family. I'm about the same age as their kids, and in one particular year, I lived with one of those uncles -- so lived with my cousins too. We were hellraisers. Got to admit it. And my other uncle spoiled his kids rotten.

Finally, the neighbors marched over to his house one night and demanded he do something about his kids. He already tried everything, so he simply told them, "When your kids are teenagers, and BEHAVE, then you have the right to come back to me to tell me what I'm doing wrong.

Funny how life works out. One of the wives in that crowd lost her husband a couple of years late. The uncle I stayed with (not the father of the spoiled kids), ended up getting divorced from his spoiled wife a couple of years later. Add another couple of years to that timeline and those two were married.

One day we were gathered at one of the uncle's house, when that woman said to my uncle, "I was there that night you said that and I was abhorred by your response. A few years later I found myself a single mother with teenagers and thought, "Man! He is so right!"

That's teenagers for you. You just never know what to expect, but they'll surprise you nonetheless.

That one uncle's kids? Two of them are the sweetest, kindest adults, parents, and grandparents you could ever meet. The third one?

My uncle is still bewildered by all of it. lol

How rebellious?
I have a son who was in juvie and he went to prison because he was rebellious and still doesnt respect authority. Do you have kids?

Ugly · Apr 17, 2016

Justcallmetinman said:

By looking around. By the standards people raise their children. You are, in fact, the first person i've met in 20 years who seem to be in disagreement with that statement.

And yes, a mechanic. A person who has spent time, learning from professionals, who studied and had experience. That when they first got their hands dirty they were Monitored by professionals in the right and wrong way to do things. So yes, education, experience and example make for great professionals. But the ability to get someone pregnant, or get pregnant, doesn't give you the same qualifications to raise kids as an education gives a person to be a mechanic. Apples and oranges.

Justcallmetinman · Apr 17, 2016

Just thought Id add in some of what God says about raising kids.
When I ws raising mine,I wasnt a dedicated christian in fact I was probably the laodecian kindof christian that confuses kids. I wish that I had been obedient when I was raising my kids. It probably would have made a difference.To say it wouldnt have ,is to say God doesnt make a difference. I encourage parents to raise the kids in church and with the Bible.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Deuteronomy 4:9
Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

Deuteronomy 11:19
Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Justcallmetinman · Apr 17, 2016

Ugly said:

By looking around. By the standards people raise their children. You are, in fact, the first person i've met in 20 years who seem to be in disagreement with that statement.

And yes, a mechanic. A person who has spent time, learning from professionals, who studied and had experience. That when they first got their hands dirty they were Monitored by professionals in the right and wrong way to do things. So yes, education, experience and example make for great professionals. But the ability to get someone pregnant, or get pregnant, doesn't give you the same qualifications to raise kids as an education gives a person to be a mechanic. Apples and oranges.

Do you have kids?

Raising up a brat

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