Marriages can be restored after infidelity

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Lady_Red

Guest
#1
#1
I know in my situation, there is so little hope. My husband has used me as a door mat and repeatedly cheated and blames me for it. He flat out told me last night he hasn't loved me for a long time. So this post isn't about my situation but it is to offer hope to those who still have a salvageable marriage.


https://youtu.be/d5jwc5gHk6Y

https://youtu.be/KW9rg6CDZFE

https://youtu.be/8xNaerm5h8Y

One is a sermon and the other two are marriages restored after infidelity. I was watching these last night on YouTube and just broke down in prayer. I know I must either truly love my husband or have the lowest self esteem ever to always want to work it out with my husband. I plan to get counseling once I am able to afford it because I really believe I have a low self worth
 
azlightsout

azlightsout

Senior Member
#2
Apr 20, 2016
2,151
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#2
God can change him - u cannot - put it in GOD's hands and pray for yourself and for him - I will also add you two to my prayers in hopes that the heavenly father can perform his WORK on you,your hubby , and your marriage - God is GOOD
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#3
Feb 21, 2014
70,946
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113
#3
He will only change if he WANTS to change. He's made it crystal clear he doesn't want to, and God can only help him if he's willing to change. God's not gonna force him into changing.. Sad fact is, not all marriages survive infidelity.
 
J

JustWhoIAm

Guest
#4
#4
Lady_Red said:
I know in my situation, there is so little hope. My husband has used me as a door mat and repeatedly cheated and blames me for it. He flat out told me last night he hasn't loved me for a long time. So this post isn't about my situation but it is to offer hope to those who still have a salvageable marriage.


https://youtu.be/d5jwc5gHk6Y

https://youtu.be/KW9rg6CDZFE

https://youtu.be/8xNaerm5h8Y

One is a sermon and the other two are marriages restored after infidelity. I was watching these last night on YouTube and just broke down in prayer. I know I must either truly love my husband or have the lowest self esteem ever to always want to work it out with my husband. I plan to get counseling once I am able to afford it because I really believe I have a low self worth
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Oh, dear. I'd get out if you possibly can. That's abuse...
 
L

Lady_Red

Guest
#5
#5
JustWhoIAm said:
Oh, dear. I'd get out if you possibly can. That's abuse...
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I have. He moved out and I am respecting his wish to not discuss our marriage or try to work it out. This is the first time I have not tried. I just can't anymore. I am obviously not loved to be repeatedly treated like this.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#6
Feb 21, 2014
70,946
9,698
113
#6
Lady_Red said:
I have. He moved out and I am respecting his wish to not discuss our marriage or try to work it out. This is the first time I have not tried. I just can't anymore. I am obviously not loved to be repeatedly treated like this.
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I think you're doing the right thing. You and your kids (if you have any) deserve alot better than how he's been treating you.
 
Violet24

Violet24

Senior Member
#7
Apr 14, 2015
1,074
148
63
#7
Lady_Red, Some healing words of encouragement for you.....

Psalms 27[h=3][SUP]4 [/SUP]One thing I ask from the Lord,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple.
[SUP]5 [/SUP]For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
and set me high upon a rock.[/h][SUP]6 [/SUP]Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the Lord.

[SUP]7 [/SUP]Hear my voice when I call, Lord;
be merciful to me and answer me.
[SUP]8 [/SUP]My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, Lord, I will seek.
[SUP]9 [/SUP]Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
God my Savior.
[SUP]10 [/SUP]Though my father and mother forsake me,
the Lord will receive me.
[SUP]11 [/SUP]Teach me your way, Lord;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.
[SUP]12 [/SUP]Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
spouting malicious accusations.

[SUP]13 [/SUP]I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
[SUP]14 [/SUP]Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#8
Mar 13, 2014
42,728
17,192
113
70
Tennessee
#8
Lady_Red said:
I know in my situation, there is so little hope. My husband has used me as a door mat and repeatedly cheated and blames me for it. He flat out told me last night he hasn't loved me for a long time. So this post isn't about my situation but it is to offer hope to those who still have a salvageable marriage.


https://youtu.be/d5jwc5gHk6Y

https://youtu.be/KW9rg6CDZFE

https://youtu.be/8xNaerm5h8Y

One is a sermon and the other two are marriages restored after infidelity. I was watching these last night on YouTube and just broke down in prayer. I know I must either truly love my husband or have the lowest self esteem ever to always want to work it out with my husband. I plan to get counseling once I am able to afford it because I really believe I have a low self worth
Click to expand...
A husband that loves his wife does not even think about cheating on her let alone actually do it. He has irrevocably destroyed the trust that is necessary for a healthy marriage. Without trust there is no basis for a relationship. You have low self-worth because of the oppressive abuse by your husband. Bless your heart for wanting to salvage your marriage. Unfortunately, he will probably shatter it even more if given the chance. My prayers are with you.
 
wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#9
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#9
i don't know why people even bother trying to stay with someone that has cheated. cheaters are traitors, they don't deserve any chance.
 
L

Lady_Red

Guest
#10
#10
Well, the first time I felt I needed to try to work on our marriage and didn't feel like God was releasing me from my marriage. When you absolutely love someone and have years with them it is just hard to let go. We have known eachother for 23 years so it was honestly like losing half of me. I can't explain it other than I really wanted to try.

To everyone I was stupid for trying as many times as I did. I don't regret it because I am now walking away knowing I honestly tried.
 
azlightsout

azlightsout

Senior Member
#11
Apr 20, 2016
2,151
58
48
#11
Lady_Red said:
Well, the first time I felt I needed to try to work on our marriage and didn't feel like God was releasing me from my marriage. When you absolutely love someone and have years with them it is just hard to let go. We have known eachother for 23 years so it was honestly like losing half of me. I can't explain it other than I really wanted to try.

To everyone I was stupid for trying as many times as I did. I don't regret it because I am now walking away knowing I honestly tried.
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Lady Red at the end of the day Its your decision to make and ONLY YOURS -- all these people offering their opinions here are offering only that and im pretty sure they have skeleton in their closets as well --- May u seek the help u need and may the GOOD lord shine bright on your LIFE,your husband and may the FATHER do the WORK that needs to be done --- funny how all these Dr.PHIL types pop up when its someone else's life (lets not DIG into whats in their closet) In jesus name i pray AMEN
 
notuptome

notuptome

Senior Member
#12
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#12
tourist said:
A husband that loves his wife does not even think about cheating on her let alone actually do it. He has irrevocably destroyed the trust that is necessary for a healthy marriage. Without trust there is no basis for a relationship. You have low self-worth because of the oppressive abuse by your husband. Bless your heart for wanting to salvage your marriage. Unfortunately, he will probably shatter it even more if given the chance. My prayers are with you.
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A man who loves the Lord Jesus will not cheat on his wife because he knows it is a betrayal of his Lord and Savior.

If a man is willing to cheat on Jesus he will never be faithful to a wife.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
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Lady_Red

Guest
#13
#13
am not at all making excuses but just because we love Jesus doesn't mean we don't still do sinful things. That is hypocrisy. Everyone has a thorn in their side. Give me a break.
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#14
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
339
83
#14
Lady_Red said:
He flat out told me last night he hasn't loved me for a long time.

I know I must either truly love my husband or have the lowest self esteem ever to always want to work it out with my husband.
Click to expand...
If cheating wasn't enough, telling you that he doesn't love you was the icing on the cake. Glad you moved out. Never measure your self-worth by the actions of someone else. Letting someone walk all over you is a character flaw that stems from trying to make your loveless marriage work, and a willingness to suffer for fear of losing what you once had. You may have too much self-esteem by thinking your could change someone by being forgiving and dedicated to them? But it takes 2 to tango and your a solo act. Move out and move on, you've done all you could and its enough...jmo
 
Born_Again

Born_Again

Senior Member
#15
Nov 15, 2014
1,585
129
63
#15
wisebeardman said:
i don't know why people even bother trying to stay with someone that has cheated. cheaters are traitors, they don't deserve any chance.
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Yea, been there, done that. Never again. Of course, in may case, the woman was the cheater.
 
L

Lady_Red

Guest
#16
#16
Born_Again said:
Yea, been there, done that. Never again. Of course, in may case, the woman was the cheater.
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I don't even know how you would be able to choose the next person? I know not all men and not all women are cheaters but I just can't trust myself to fall for the same type of guy again.
 
PennEd

PennEd

Senior Member
#17
Apr 22, 2013
13,700
9,187
113
#17
Wow. Some harsh comments. Adultery is a sin. Murder and lying are sins too. These are 3 sins that King David engaged in, and the Lord has said he was a man after His own Heart. Now there WERE consequences to his sin as their always is, but forgiving a repentant heart is what Christianity is supposed to be all about.

Aside from that, Jesus said merely looking at another woman and lusting after her was sin.What men amongst us can say we NEVER have done that? How many times did Jesus say we should forgive our Brethren?
I ABSOLUTELY agree that the larger issue is that this husband doesn't seem to WANT to admit sin, ask for forgiveness and love his wife.

Dear Heavenly Father, please let Your mighty Hand be on this situation. Guide Lady Red in her decisions, and let her husband have no rest til he admits his sin and seeks You. In Jesus Name I pray.
 
azlightsout

azlightsout

Senior Member
#18
Apr 20, 2016
2,151
58
48
#18
PennEd said:
Dear Heavenly Father, please let Your mighty Hand be on this situation. Guide Lady Red in her decisions, and let her husband have no rest til he admits his sin and seeks You. In Jesus Name I pray.
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I pray with u as well --- no relationship is perfect -- point 1 finger and 3 are pointing back at U
 
R

Rosesrock

Guest
#19
#19
Ugh. Hugs. Who you are is who Christ made you. And I know it's hard to see right now but it's true. Yes counseling would be awesome. You do love Him. That is unconditional which is how we are supposed to love. Praying wisdom for you, sweetie.
 
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Lady_Red

Guest
#20
#20
Rosesrock said:
Ugh. Hugs. Who you are is who Christ made you. And I know it's hard to see right now but it's true. Yes counseling would be awesome. You do love Him. That is unconditional which is how we are supposed to love. Praying wisdom for you, sweetie.
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Thank you so much!
 
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