codependency

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keepsonkeepingon

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Hi guys has anyone of you is on the same boat?Or someone has an idea what it is? Coz I think I am..
 
Since I don't know what that is it seems unlikely that I am in the same boat. Glad to have you join us. Welcome to CC.
 
In other words, it is like youre anxiously attached to someone or something.
 
Hi keepson, do you mean enabling? I've been there, in fact I was a world class enabler.

making excuses to cover for the loved ones mistakes, cleaning up thier messes....

we ARE to help but not enable

and a time comes to syep aside and let that person face the consquences of thier actions

I think alot of parents have a brush with this..it's hard to let go of your kids
 
I believe codependency is a relationship that centers around manipulation and emotional instability. Say a girl likes the attention and doesn't want to be alone. Her guy is the same and know a how to keep her coming back. It's a very selfish place to be.
 
no, actually, codependency is a learned behavior (usually from childhood) where a person struggles with a constellation of behaviors that are often conflict-averse, and takes almost a care-taking role of the partner, often to maintain the status quo.

they frequently live in denial and are blind-sided by situations that have been brewing, but instead of taking action, they frequently ignore/pretend it isn't there.

low self-esteem is a big part of this, as they will often sacrifice their own needs to smooth over problems and avoid anger. they struggle with identity and need to be needed, basically supplanting their own identity with another's.

generally co-dependents find themselves with addicts and often are addicts themselves, as they struggle to cope with their love-hate relationship with the drama they draw to themselves. but to be clear, codependency isn't thrust upon a partner, but evidence of unresolved issues residing within the co-dependent.
 
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As I recall my childhood, it seems that it was a result of my controlling mother.It is not that I blamed her but I realized Ive been walking on eggshells since then.And now Im caught up with a relationship with an avoidant partner which really affects not only me but our relationship as a whole. I just pray that God will guide me in this very difficult trial..
 
psalm6819 said:
Hi keepson, do you mean enabling? I've been there, in fact I was a world class enabler.


making excuses to cover for the loved ones mistakes, cleaning up thier messes....

we ARE to help but not enable



and a time comes to syep aside and let that person face the consquences of thier actions

I think alot of parents have a brush with this..it's hard to let go of your kids
Click to expand...


you know what that is how my family works..and now Im in the same scenario with my husband..im so confused..
 
gypsygirl said:
no, actually, codependency is a learned behavior (usually from childhood) where a person struggles with a constellation of behaviors that are often conflict-averse, and takes almost a care-taking role of the partner, often to maintain the status quo.

they frequently live in denial and are blind-sided by situations that have been brewing, but instead of taking action, they frequently ignore/pretend it isn't there.

low self-esteem is a big part of this, as they will often sacrifice their own needs to smooth over problems and avoid anger. they struggle with identity and need to be needed, basically supplanting their own identity with another's.

generally co-dependents find themselves with addicts and often are addicts themselves, as they struggle to cope with their love-hate relationship with the drama they draw to themselves. but to be clear, codependency isn't thrust upon a partner, but evidence of unresolved issues residing within the co-dependent.
Click to expand...

It seems you have a great info about it and you really spot it on.Thank you.
 
Yea I feel like I'm in that type of situation now with a friend and I believe the Lord is showing me myself and teaching me a way out by standing in this.
 
Whatever situation you have right now,if you realized that you are, then it is not too late.Just pray that God will guide and give you wisdom in your trial.
 
gypsygirl said:
no, actually, codependency is a learned behavior (usually from childhood) where a person struggles with a constellation of behaviors that are often conflict-averse, and takes almost a care-taking role of the partner, often to maintain the status quo.

they frequently live in denial and are blind-sided by situations that have been brewing, but instead of taking action, they frequently ignore/pretend it isn't there.

low self-esteem is a big part of this, as they will often sacrifice their own needs to smooth over problems and avoid anger. they struggle with identity and need to be needed, basically supplanting their own identity with another's.

generally co-dependents find themselves with addicts and often are addicts themselves, as they struggle to cope with their love-hate relationship with the drama they draw to themselves. but to be clear, codependency isn't thrust upon a partner, but evidence of unresolved issues residing within the co-dependent.
Click to expand...

ooooooh now I understand why my ex called me codependant.
I'm now codependant on Jesus and stay single. That's better.
I saw old pics, always with mom and dad and big brother and big sister caring for me and now a guy expects you to be an independant woman. Well I am coming over as independant, without a partner because people don't know I simply ask Him everything.
 
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