When your spouse cheats

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Even though the bible says we can divorce should we or should we fight for the marriage? The easy way out is to divorce and just give up.
 
Anyone with words of wisdom?

It's a horrible thing living with the infidelities of a cheating spouse. The trust that was betrayed can never be restored. Without trusts there is no basis for a relationship. A man that loves his wife would never even think about cheating on her let alone actually do it. I have said a prayer for God to comfort you and to give you the wisdom and clarity of thought on how to deal with this. Welcome to CC.
 
It's a horrible thing living with the infidelities of a cheating spouse. The trust that was betrayed can never be restored. Without trusts there is no basis for a relationship. A man that loves his wife would never even think about cheating on her let alone actually do it. I have said a prayer for God to comfort you and to give you the wisdom and clarity of thought on how to deal with this. Welcome to CC.

I disagree with your statement "The trust that was betrayed can never be restored." Through Christ all things are possible and that goes with trust and forgiveness. Believe me, I was in the middle of the same situation and God healed my marriage. Is there still struggles? Yep and it takes time to heal from it but it can be done.
 
I disagree with your statement "The trust that was betrayed can never be restored." Through Christ all things are possible and that goes with trust and forgiveness. Believe me, I was in the middle of the same situation and God healed my marriage. Is there still struggles? Yep and it takes time to heal from it but it can be done.

It has been my experience that a spouse that has cheated once will eventually cheat again because they have no regard for the marriage vows.

Yes, it is possible the a certain measure of trust can be regained but it will never equal the trust that existed in the beginning of the marriage. Personally, I would not want to live with a spouse that did not love me and trashed my feelings many times over.

With Christ all things are indeed possible but not all outcomes are probable.

During my first marriage my wife cheated on me. I was in denial for years believing that the hurt would go away. I was willing to go to counseling to try to salvage the marriage for the sake of my daughter. Eventually, my wife said that she didn't really love me and filed for divorce.

My first instinct was the correct one. Unfortunately, I set myself up for further hurt and wasted several more years of my life enduring mental anguish. I am glad that you were able to reconcile what happen and are trying to make the best of it. Sadly, for most people the marriage is destroyed at the first instance of infidelity.

For those that know my post history know that I hold marriage in high regard, and, as such, have a zero tolerance for those with a cheating heart. I know how it feels to have your heart crushed and my heart is sadden to see others get hurt the way that I was.

My prayers go out to them.
 
It has been my experience that a spouse that has cheated once will eventually cheat again because they have no regard for the marriage vows.

Yes, it is possible the a certain measure of trust can be regained but it will never equal the trust that existed in the beginning of the marriage. Personally, I would not want to live with a spouse that did not love me and trashed my feelings many times over.

With Christ all things are indeed possible but not all outcomes are probable.

During my first marriage my wife cheated on me. I was in denial for years believing that the hurt would go away. I was willing to go to counseling to try to salvage the marriage for the sake of my daughter. Eventually, my wife said that she didn't really love me and filed for divorce.

My first instinct was the correct one. Unfortunately, I set myself up for further hurt and wasted several more years of my life enduring mental anguish. I am glad that you were able to reconcile what happen and are trying to make the best of it. Sadly, for most people the marriage is destroyed at the first instance of infidelity.

For those that know my post history know that I hold marriage in high regard, and, as such, have a zero tolerance for those with a cheating heart. I know how it feels to have your heart crushed and my heart is sadden to see others get hurt the way that I was.

My prayers go out to them.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. My first wife cheated on me as well and I wasn't in the right place with the Lord at the time and neither was she. My current marriage we both got right with the Lord and He healed it. Believe me though, it wasn't easy and we still have a lot of things to work out, but we aren't giving up.
 
I disagree with your statement "The trust that was betrayed can never be restored." Through Christ all things are possible and that goes with trust and forgiveness. Believe me, I was in the middle of the same situation and God healed my marriage. Is there still struggles? Yep and it takes time to heal from it but it can be done.



WarriorForChrist., you sound like a Godly man who has seen the Lord show up in his life. Of course there can be restoration. If God can take a sinner and make a son out of him., what can't He do?? In Christ there is power to do the impossible and those who believe He can and will restore will stand still and see the hand of the Lord work in their lives.

Our Good Shepherd is the Great Restorer the Great Physician, our Great High Priest with healing in His hand. He changes people every day., that is His business. Amen!!
 
This is something you have to decided for yourself, w/ the help of the lord. I tried to work through it when my ex cheated. I did say till death do us part. He was remorseful, but he was not willing to do the work. He would get very angry and blame it on me. I just could not stay in that relationship. If the cheating spouse will not turn from their ways, Then you have all right according to the Lord to divorce. Only you know your marriage, only you know your spouse, and only you know what your heart can handle. The Lord can fully restore, however the Lord will not go against your spouse's will. The Lord gives us all choices. Many including me can tell you how ours turned out. That does not mean that is how yours will turn out. Only you and the Lord can come to terms with this decision.

I know the pain, and the hurt. I got through by calling out to the Lord. He gave me peace but it did take some time for me. I wanted to heal. means I walked through the yuck in my own heart. The Lord went at my pace. I will keep you and your family in prayer.
 
Everyone has a story to tell about their experiences for sure. We have all hurt and been to places no human ever wants to go. But that is what Jesus and His love and grace are for! When both people in the marriage see JESUS., there is nothing but hope and success a head. Jesus is BIGGER than all these things we come across in life. But if we don't believe that....if we prefer to look at the stats?., the stats will determine the outcome. Look to Jesus instead and watch Him restore back something that was once thought to be lost.
 
Anyone with words of wisdom?
The thought that pops into my head is that when your spouse is guilty of unchaste behavior, you have the right to divorce him:

And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery. Matt 19:9 RSV
 
It has been my experience that a spouse that has cheated once will eventually cheat again because they have no regard for the marriage vows.

Yes, it is possible the a certain measure of trust can be regained but it will never equal the trust that existed in the beginning of the marriage. Personally, I would not want to live with a spouse that did not love me and trashed my feelings many times over.

With Christ all things are indeed possible but not all outcomes are probable.

During my first marriage my wife cheated on me. I was in denial for years believing that the hurt would go away. I was willing to go to counseling to try to salvage the marriage for the sake of my daughter. Eventually, my wife said that she didn't really love me and filed for divorce.

My first instinct was the correct one. Unfortunately, I set myself up for further hurt and wasted several more years of my life enduring mental anguish. I am glad that you were able to reconcile what happen and are trying to make the best of it. Sadly, for most people the marriage is destroyed at the first instance of infidelity.

For those that know my post history know that I hold marriage in high regard, and, as such, have a zero tolerance for those with a cheating heart. I know how it feels to have your heart crushed and my heart is sadden to see others get hurt the way that I was.

My prayers go out to them.

Been there. Done that. I couldn't agree with you more.