I really need some christian advice for my marriage. I really would like some male perspectives with some honesty too. Do most men, even christian men, watch porn? Is this supposed to be ok to the wife even if the man is doing it to the point that he is dabbling in things he shouldn't be, like browsing personals just to "read" the ads. Where is the line? I know it may seem silly to some, but the more I read about it, the more I realize just how addicted men are to this stuff, even christian men. Is this like a thing we women just need to except or expect?
My husband is heavy into it and lies about it all of the time for many years to me until I find it. I always forgive him until recently I found he was looking at personals. He admitted finally he has a problem but swears he never intended to cheat and just likes reading the ads I guess. He also lies easily to me and that scares me. He struggles with giving in easily to temptation and has before in regards to drinking and recreational drugs. He always resorts to lying unless he gets caught.
Finally I decided to ask for a trial separation and I am so torn on what God wants for me to do. Am I supposed to stay after all of the lies and hurt since he has finally admitted he has a problem and is going to get help? I just feel my trust is damaged and will never be restored. And although he says he loves me and wants to work on himself and his relationship with God, I feel like he should be doing more in regards to winning back my heart. He is just so passive at times I wonder if he can truly love me the way I feel I deserve. I am trying to be a good christian wife, but I feel so cheated and my confidence is going down the drain.
I struggle with the guilt of leaving him when he is finally trying to turn his heart to God (which I have been trying to get him to do for a while now), but is it going to be enough? My parents are still together and my mom has put up with my dads cheating adulterous habits, lying, and drug and alcohol abuse for almost 30 years and she is miserable and they are not in love. But I think my mom tells herself that God does not want her to get divorced and to constantly try and save my dad and their marriage. He even goes to church sometimes too. I fear of heading down that same path as my parents. My husband is not as bad and does not have the exact same issues as my Dad, but it is still way too close to home and I know these things can spiral with time, obviously as my husband has spiraled in many ways already.
I feel so cheated by the men in my life. I know I have God and always will, but I am wondering what I am supposed to do about this. One minute I feel God is telling me to wait and work towards restoring the marriage, while the other I wonder if he is trying to tell me to not walk the same path as my mom and that he has something better for me if I break free. Or do practically all christian men watch porn and stuff and I would just be leaving one for the next. I am very sensitive right now, so please only those who have experience in this or genuinely want to help. Thank you.
My husband is heavy into it and lies about it all of the time for many years to me until I find it. I always forgive him until recently I found he was looking at personals. He admitted finally he has a problem but swears he never intended to cheat and just likes reading the ads I guess. He also lies easily to me and that scares me. He struggles with giving in easily to temptation and has before in regards to drinking and recreational drugs. He always resorts to lying unless he gets caught.
Finally I decided to ask for a trial separation and I am so torn on what God wants for me to do. Am I supposed to stay after all of the lies and hurt since he has finally admitted he has a problem and is going to get help? I just feel my trust is damaged and will never be restored. And although he says he loves me and wants to work on himself and his relationship with God, I feel like he should be doing more in regards to winning back my heart. He is just so passive at times I wonder if he can truly love me the way I feel I deserve. I am trying to be a good christian wife, but I feel so cheated and my confidence is going down the drain.
I struggle with the guilt of leaving him when he is finally trying to turn his heart to God (which I have been trying to get him to do for a while now), but is it going to be enough? My parents are still together and my mom has put up with my dads cheating adulterous habits, lying, and drug and alcohol abuse for almost 30 years and she is miserable and they are not in love. But I think my mom tells herself that God does not want her to get divorced and to constantly try and save my dad and their marriage. He even goes to church sometimes too. I fear of heading down that same path as my parents. My husband is not as bad and does not have the exact same issues as my Dad, but it is still way too close to home and I know these things can spiral with time, obviously as my husband has spiraled in many ways already.
I feel so cheated by the men in my life. I know I have God and always will, but I am wondering what I am supposed to do about this. One minute I feel God is telling me to wait and work towards restoring the marriage, while the other I wonder if he is trying to tell me to not walk the same path as my mom and that he has something better for me if I break free. Or do practically all christian men watch porn and stuff and I would just be leaving one for the next. I am very sensitive right now, so please only those who have experience in this or genuinely want to help. Thank you.
