when do you know they're "the one"?

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weezer

Guest
#1
#1
simply put, I've seen many times on this thread people asking for relationship advice and most everyone else saying "be patient" or "wait for God to bring the right person into your life"...etc. but how do you know they're the one God meant for you? Is it a feeling? Does it just happen (as in they pursue you?) or do you pursue them? How do you know?
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
There really is no 'the one' in terms there only being one person God has for you. There may be a few circumstances where that's the case, just like some people are called to be single, but on the average that's just not the case. I think a lot of Christians views on marriage are more influenced by culture than the bible.
 
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weezer

Guest
#3
#3
Ugly said:
There really is no 'the one' in terms there only being one person God has for you. There may be a few circumstances where that's the case, just like some people are called to be single, but on the average that's just not the case. I think a lot of Christians views on marriage are more influenced by culture than the bible.
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well I guess that's kind of what I was asking advice on. Would God's will be causing a sort of perfect meet cute, or does it require pursuing? I ask because there is this girl I met recently but I wasn't head over heels for her at first, but the more I think about her the more I realize I think I made a mistake in not pursuing her. I ignored my feelings because I figured I would feel more sure right from the beginning of it was "God's will" so to speak. Won't ever see her again and now I feel like I messed up :( in the future should I keep waiting? Or should I start being more proactive?
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#4
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
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#4
weezer said:
well I guess that's kind of what I was asking advice on. Would God's will be causing a sort of perfect meet cute, or does it require pursuing? I ask because there is this girl I met recently but I wasn't head over heels for her at first, but the more I think about her the more I realize I think I made a mistake in not pursuing her. I ignored my feelings because I figured I would feel more sure right from the beginning of it was "God's will" so to speak. Won't ever see her again and now I feel like I messed up :( in the future should I keep waiting? Or should I start being more proactive?
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You have to get know someone. In the beginning of a relationship there's usually that lovey, butterfly feeling, that's normal, but it doesn't last forever. I think it comes and goes. When I met my Husband I didn't immediately think, this is it, he's the one. In time our relationship grew and got better. It just takes time.
 
JonahLynx

JonahLynx

Senior Member
#5
Dec 28, 2014
1,017
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#5
Pray about it, examine your motives, be content where you are. :)
 
W

weezer

Guest
#6
#6
Fenner said:
You have to get know someone. In the beginning of a relationship there's usually that lovey, butterfly feeling, that's normal, but it doesn't last forever. I think it comes and goes. When I met my Husband I didn't immediately think, this is it, he's the one. In time our relationship grew and got better. It just takes time.
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Thats my problem I've found. I've been waiting for that head over heels feeling/perfect meeting but I'm realizing that's not realistic. Makes me sad knowing I passed over a lot of women who probably would have ended up being perfect for me if I had only given them a chance. No lifelong commitment when it comes to getting to know someone, I think I need to just open up more. Lesson learned I guess, thanks for the post :)
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#7
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#7
weezer said:
Thats my problem I've found. I've been waiting for that head over heels feeling/perfect meeting but I'm realizing that's not realistic. Makes me sad knowing I passed over a lot of women who probably would have ended up being perfect for me if I had only given them a chance. No lifelong commitment when it comes to getting to know someone, I think I need to just open up more. Lesson learned I guess, thanks for the post :)
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You're welcome, I hope you meet someone that makes you happy and I'm sure you will, God bless.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#8
Mar 13, 2014
42,577
17,046
113
69
Tennessee
#8
weezer said:
simply put, I've seen many times on this thread people asking for relationship advice and most everyone else saying "be patient" or "wait for God to bring the right person into your life"...etc. but how do you know they're the one God meant for you? Is it a feeling? Does it just happen (as in they pursue you?) or do you pursue them? How do you know?
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It's a feeling that someone very good has come into your life. Unless you want to be alone the rest of your life you absolutely pursue this special person. You can be patient and wait your entire life for God to bring someone to you or you can meet Him half-way and take decisive action when He does find someone for you. At this point you have to be bold and aggressive. Being passive is not going to cut it.
 
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weezer

Guest
#9
#9
tourist said:
It's a feeling that someone very good has come into your life. Unless you want to be alone the rest of your life you absolutely pursue this special person. You can be patient and wait your entire life for God to bring someone to you or you can meet Him half-way and take decisive action when He does find someone for you. At this point you have to be bold and aggressive. Being passive is not going to cut it.
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very well said, thank you for the encouragement
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#10
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
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Philippines Age 40
#10
When you constantly see yourself with that person in the future like you can't live without them,like your life would suck without them. When you seem to lose interest in the opposite sex like your search is over. When you are not only happy with this person but your heart is at peace and at home.
 
M

Mitspa

Guest
#11
#11
Dude ..you never going to know for sure ..unless the Lord speaks to you in some clear way... you have to be honest with yourself ..trust the Lord and be willing to give it up if its not His plan. The Lord works most things out through a process of time and relationship.
 
RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#12
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
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#12
My wife and I dated, and even lived together, for 4 years. We broke up and over the next 8 years went on to have other girl/boyfriends. But as they came and went, we remained friends. One day we found ourselves consoling each other over another set of breakups. That’s when we came to the realization that while passionate love affairs were going to come and go, we were by our friendship going to be together till death does us part. So we got married not to vow to make a new relationship for the future, but to acknowledge the one that already existed.

How do you find a relationship with “the one”? You don’t. It finds you.
 
Desdichado

Desdichado

Senior Member
#13
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
113
#13
You ask'em to marry you and they say "yes."
 
AsifinPassing

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
#14
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
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#14
When they kill all the other Highlanders or alternate versions of yourself in each timeline/dimension:



 
nzlotrfan

nzlotrfan

Member
#15
Oct 8, 2013
70
3
8
Auckland, New Zealand
#15
weezer said:
well I guess that's kind of what I was asking advice on. Would God's will be causing a sort of perfect meet cute, or does it require pursuing? I ask because there is this girl I met recently but I wasn't head over heels for her at first, but the more I think about her the more I realize I think I made a mistake in not pursuing her. I ignored my feelings because I figured I would feel more sure right from the beginning of it was "God's will" so to speak. Won't ever see her again and now I feel like I messed up :( in the future should I keep waiting? Or should I start being more proactive?
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Man, I completely understand your thought process here..
 
B

BurlyCarl

Guest
#16
#16
How do you know? When you find out the answer let me know. I have met a few that i thought were the one. I was alot like you. I held on too long. Find my post "Soulmate Lost". I recently put myself back out there. I shouldn't of waited. So many passed by durning that time.
 
N

NukePooch

Guest
#17
#17
When she tells you. Better get used to taking orders early.
 
B

Bangoo

Guest
#20
#20
I could tell you from my own life story that I have been through this. There were some girls, nice godly christian girls, that were just fine (ok, maybe they were better) and I know that in some way they were interested in me but I wasn't because as you said I wasn't head over heels for them because of my principles on dating and marriage. Now I never regret that I didn't talked and pursued them and I know for sure that I was extremely right in my way of action. Actually I've never had any relationship with a girl due to the fact that I'm kind of one-man-woman but I don't regret this because now I'm receiving the blessings for this (am about to get married).

But what I want to say to you is to give a try so that you don't have to live with the idea in your mind "what if". If you still have a chance to do something I for one if I were in your boots I would start praying, fasting and reading my Bible and asking willingly God to guide me through his Holy Spirit giving me discernment to do his will and ALSO I would talk with my parents and siblings (this worked for me so many times) and WITH your pastor or mentor because this way you would receive some very good godly and practical insights. And after that, after you take advise from them you act in a way or another. You can do this just this very week but don't loose your patience man. Even if you don't succeed you will see that with time these feelings of yours will pass and you will be fine.

So, what I'm saying to you is to talk with some more mature persons closer to you and you will see what you have to do. But beware whatever decision you will make you will suffer the consequencens of your choice so beware to follow God's leading and take seriously into consideration the pieces of advise you receive. Good bless you and I trully hope you that maybe this girl will be for you :p. If it would be would you gave shout out :eek:?
 
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