Growth and lack thereof

[hornetguy]

There's a pretty good definition of the attributes of love in 1 Corinthians 13.

And, as an aside, there are many scriptures that indicate water baptism is a part of receiving forgiveness and salvation. Does the act of baptism save you? I don't think so, but there are too many scriptures that indicate it was done at the same time a person believed and accepted Christ as their savior.

I don't believe it can be sloughed off as simply "a good thing to do" to show others you've accepted the gift of salvation.

I don't pretend to understand Asperger's, but from your self-descriptions, the concept of love must be strange to you. I think love is something that will have you do for other people what you would do for yourself. If you are hungry, you find food for yourself.... if you see a stranger hungry, you will find food for him/her..... that type of thing. It's CARING about other people, whether they deserve it, or not.

 

[Depleted]

Reposted from a blog entry I just made:

Over the past months, I have been enrolled in a Bible study program under the guidance of a mentor assigned to me to whom I could direct my questions related to my readings and lessons, and he would answer me to the best of his ability.

All in all, it was an experience I've been glad to have had. I completed my program without any hiccups. It was only after the program was concluded that I ran into some issues that I have not as of yet been able to resolve.

My mentor asked me if having now completed the program, would I be willing to meet with other Christians in my area?

I answered "no".

My mentor asked me if having completed the program, would I be interested in having a water baptism and join a congregation?

I answered "no".

I'm not sure exactly why I answered no to both of these questions, but "no" was the only honest answer I could give. Am I not supposed to be honest? If I am, and being honest means that I don't want to meet with other believers in my area and am not interested in being baptized, then what does that mean?

*I post this rhetorically. I don't honestly expect to have a civilized discussion about this topic. The people who would most want to impart advice are the ones I most likely don't need to hear from based on my short time here. I don't think this is a topic anyone can help me with simply because it's a matter of my own faith, or what passes for faith in my crazy little world. I just wanted to put it out there so folks could have a little better idea what kind of stuff I am dealing with.*

What is the best food in the world -- chocolate or raspberries?

Hopefully, you can think of your own choices instead of feeling stuck with just the two options I gave you. Likewise, you have other choices besides the two questions he gave you.

Water baptism? Okay, so you wrote No and it's an honest answer. Does that now mean you just can't ever be baptized in the future? No. You are allowed to change your mind on that one. Feel free to do that in the future if you become so inclined. It's worth something. And if you never get there? That's fine too. It doesn't save you, but there really is something about it that feels like a signpost of something really good along our path.

And, I know it's not just a matter of who you are that had you write No for the other answer. You just don't handle "people" well, so why would you want to join a whole group of them? And, even if you did, how would you get the time to join? "People" take a lot more time and energy than you would feel comfortable expending, or you even have time to expend for now. BUT there is another answer. Can you handle a person? Just one? And maybe keep it to just an hour a week? (I know. Time is precious right now to you, so that's a real question, not pushing you.)

An hour a week with someone who can teach you more would give you something more than learning. It will give you a sense of not being stuck all alone in the world. As I mentioned before, you remind me of my brother. He has dyslexia and dyscalculia, so he too sees the world different from most. We're in our 60's now, and back when we were young no one knew the word "autism," so no one ever worried if they were. I think my brother has Asperger's too. He has no need to find out if he is or isn't, since he's gotten this far. But, he is so different from the norm, people feel a need to get to know him. I suspect at first, to figure out what's going on, but he has this inner complexity that keeps people hanging around. (Nothing like being considered cool simply because you rarely talk, don't like eye contact, stand back from everyone, but keep a sense that you're listening carefully.) It would also give you a friend. Someone to lean on when it gets hard, and for you right now? It's all hard!

And in that friendship, then you start teaching too.

I get No for now. Just don't be so polar that you can't change your mind.

 

[Yahweh_is_gracious]

I don't presume to know the future beyond my own little view of the world, and that only out to about next week or thereabout.

I agree that having someone to talk to occasionally might be a good thing, but it's back-fired on me every time I've tried it. With males, there is always the whole alpha/beta male crap being played out and they don't like being less than alpha in any pack but they are with me. With females, it's a matter of me getting too clingy because I was shunned from my own mother as a baby so I'm always looking for acceptance. Messy. Icky.

The traits your brother exhibits (the lack of eye contact, the hanging back but paying attention to every detail, the rarely talking), those I have in spades. It's just part of Asperger's. The world at large doesn't understand, so we're always having to explain that no, we're not stuck up or no, we're not intimidated by you in the least or lacking self esteem because we don't make eye contact. It's tiring, so you find a lot of people with Asperger's as they age drift off into solitude.

 

[Ariel82]

Okay I'm curious why you asked just me.

It was just you me and Yaweh_is_gracious. I just asked you because Yaweh_is_gracious hasn't been baptized according to his own words and I thought maybe your testimony might help him.

My own journey was strange because I always felt God as my heavenly father (i had a troubled childhood) but wasn't so sure about Jesus or Christians until I was about 17. Then I accepted Jesus but still didn't trust Christians until I was 28 when I meet a preacher who prayed more than he preached. I got baptized at the end of an interesting summer and had alot of things happen. It was about the time I joined this site under a different name.

Growing up I always tried to be logic and reassure myself that God wasn't just some figment of my imagination.

 

[Ariel82]

I don't presume to know the future beyond my own little view of the world, and that only out to about next week or thereabout.

I agree that having someone to talk to occasionally might be a good thing, but it's back-fired on me every time I've tried it. With males, there is always the whole alpha/beta male crap being played out and they don't like being less than alpha in any pack but they are with me. With females, it's a matter of me getting too clingy because I was shunned from my own mother as a baby so I'm always looking for acceptance. Messy. Icky.

The traits your brother exhibits (the lack of eye contact, the hanging back but paying attention to every detail, the rarely talking), those I have in spades. It's just part of Asperger's. The world at large doesn't understand, so we're always having to explain that no, we're not stuck up or no, we're not intimidated by you in the least or lacking self esteem because we don't make eye contact. It's tiring, so you find a lot of people with Asperger's as they age drift off into solitude.

Not making eye contact is considered a sign of respect in Asian cultures.

Growing up I found it odd that people expected to look them in the eye, so I would look at their foreheads.

What is love?

Love as God tells us, is not an emotion. It when someone places others joy, happiness and we'll being over their own comfort.

For example, it might be easier for people to spoil their kids by giving them the candy when they throw a tantrum. That is not love.

Love would be disciplining the child to know their boundaries, When and how to ask for what they want. Love is to recognize that even though mom or dad doesn't give them candy whenever they demand it, they are stilled cared for and loved. Love is teaching the child to see beyond their own selfish desires to others needs. It is teaching the difference between needs and wants.

Love is kind, patient, gentle and true.

Maybe older men and women would be more mature?

Quite a few of the men I know don't mind not being alpha and the older ladies are very supportive.

PS...I think Pinky was the genius, he toke over the world multiple times.

 

[Yahweh_is_gracious]

Most people have eyes that remind me of those creepy baby dolls with glass eyes. Makes me uncomfortable just thinking about it.

 

[Fenner]

It was just you me and Yaweh_is_gracious. I just asked you because Yaweh_is_gracious hasn't been baptized according to his own words and I thought maybe your testimony might help him.

My own journey was strange because I always felt God as my heavenly father (i had a troubled childhood) but wasn't so sure about Jesus or Christians until I was about 17. Then I accepted Jesus but still didn't trust Christians until I was 28 when I meet a preacher who prayed more than he preached. I got baptized at the end of an interesting summer and had alot of things happen. It was about the time I joined this site under a different name.

Growing up I always tried to be logic and reassure myself that God wasn't just some figment of my imagination.

Okay Thank you. I thought for a minute I said something wrong. I was having a bad day yesterday so my defenses were up, I'm sorry. I'm glad you shared your story with me. I can relate. Trusting other people has not always been easy for me either, although with age and time it's gotten a lot better.

 

[wisebeardman]

i would have said no to both as well.

not a people person.

and I don't like people touching me, let alone someone trying to dunk me in water, that would result in a fight.

 

[Depleted]

When you are like me, and have very little access to emotions or the ability to express them like others or to understand them, either from yourself or especially from others, it's difficult to reason why some people have the emotional connection to their faith that they do.

God is love. Okay, what is love? What does love feel like? It's certainly got to encompass more than what is written in I Corinthians 13:4-7. What does love do to a person? How does it change a person? These are just a few of the questions about love I have that makes me ponder endlessly on the statement "God is love" and why John 3:16 clashes with my own life's experience. For God so loved the world...okay, why? What was lovable about it? What does it mean to love the world? What does it mean to love your neighbor like is directed by Christ in Matthew 22? What does that love entail?

...and then it all comes back on itself in a never-ending circle of questions leading to more questions, which lead to more questions, and without the experiences of emotions that so many others have had and seem to take for granted that they have them and some of us were left out of being able to experience that aspect of humanity, it's impossible to get the answers that satisfy my questions.

You lack emotions like Spock lacks emotions. Simply because you say you aren't emotional doesn't mean you aren't. Friends are an emotional choice. Wives are an emotional choice. Taking care of your dad is an emotional choice. Showing it like neurotics isn't not existing. It's not seeing it like neurotypicals.

People who cannot love do not even conceive of taking care of Dad. You didn't merely consider it, your doing it. AND you're doing, to the best of your abilities (which haven't been glorified yet, so ain't perfect) for him each and every day. Hate to burst your bubble. (Umm, no I don't.), but you know what love is for another better than neurotypicals do. You expect nothing out of it. You are the example of 1 Cor. 13, so you can't say you don't get it. You do it.

 

[Yahweh_is_gracious]

Okay. I'll think on that.