-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Lady Blue,
I don't think you have to convince Natania that it is wrong. But don't assume that her step mother will change her life just because her 14 year old daughter makes a fuss about having to do too much work around the the house.
The problem with her mother is far deeper than her just not knowing better.
I suspect there are neurological and psychological issues going on in the mother that none of us here can guess, much less correct with a few posts.
So, don't be too hard on Natania. She is pretty stressed already.
A
Will pray that whatever has made her so now, will change and she will return to the loving and caring person she used to be that opened her home to you even after she had left your biological father.
Do what God puts in your heart to do. Don't be afriad, He is with you and remember always His love for you.
If no one has told you today, we are proud of you and your loving heart. You are precious daughter of God and we would all give you big hugs and lots of love if possible. Maybe one day, when we all night in Heaven.
For now treasure the happy moments, praise God for His blessings, rest in His peace and do what you can for His glory. We will continue to keep you and your family in prayer.
Do what God puts in your heart to do. Don't be afriad, He is with you and remember always His love for you.
If no one has told you today, we are proud of you and your loving heart. You are precious daughter of God and we would all give you big hugs and lots of love if possible. Maybe one day, when we all night in Heaven.
For now treasure the happy moments, praise God for His blessings, rest in His peace and do what you can for His glory. We will continue to keep you and your family in prayer.
Last edited by a moderator:
D
Don't earn her love. That's like swimming to the bottom of the ocean. It's impossible and only hurts you in the effort. The most likely scenario, just for trying, is a scramble back up for some air. The ocean doesn't notice. You've got the love you need already -- God, your siblings, your friends, your pastor, the camp counselor, and us. We don't earn love. Either we are loved or we aren't. If anyone loves us, it's good. If God loves us, it's great.
What happens when you're 18? You say you want things to stay like they are, but at 18 either you should be starting on your own or going on to college. It's a nice dream that you get a place to live to raise your younger siblings, but the state would have to step in, yet again, and decide if that's an option. It's only an option if you can provide each one with a bedroom that includes a bed, drawers, desk, and clothes, plus the usual amount to feed them and put them through school. (Public education may be free, but clothes and supplies aren't.) There are completely different laws for who can take in children if the children aren't yours.
The youngest is two. Do you really think you have the option to keep status quo for 16 years?
How does she treat your siblings? Does everything become hunky dory when you move on with your life? I get your biggest concern is for your siblings, but it sounds like you aren't planning for their future either. Four years really is shorter than you feel it is.
The number one reason I chose to move back in with Dad was because I knew my little brother was only five and needed an education. Maybe I could have survived with a tenth grade education, but he couldn't survive with none but what I could teach him. I get this is about protecting your family, but that has to last past 4 years. If she takes it out of you now, who is next? There is always a next.
What happens when you're 18? You say you want things to stay like they are, but at 18 either you should be starting on your own or going on to college. It's a nice dream that you get a place to live to raise your younger siblings, but the state would have to step in, yet again, and decide if that's an option. It's only an option if you can provide each one with a bedroom that includes a bed, drawers, desk, and clothes, plus the usual amount to feed them and put them through school. (Public education may be free, but clothes and supplies aren't.) There are completely different laws for who can take in children if the children aren't yours.
The youngest is two. Do you really think you have the option to keep status quo for 16 years?
How does she treat your siblings? Does everything become hunky dory when you move on with your life? I get your biggest concern is for your siblings, but it sounds like you aren't planning for their future either. Four years really is shorter than you feel it is.
The number one reason I chose to move back in with Dad was because I knew my little brother was only five and needed an education. Maybe I could have survived with a tenth grade education, but he couldn't survive with none but what I could teach him. I get this is about protecting your family, but that has to last past 4 years. If she takes it out of you now, who is next? There is always a next.
D
Wait! Your experience is coming from some show called Celebrate Recovery? Really? Yeesh! Not everyone who grows up in a less than ideal home needs to recover.That's like saying every soldier returning from war gets PTSD. It's simply not true.
Worse, because you're telling her she will have to recover in some way in the future. Trust God more.
Worse, because you're telling her she will have to recover in some way in the future. Trust God more.
D
Then unknow it. I've known people who grew up in horrible situations. One girl was much like you, except she took on all financial responsibility. She made sure to spend the money when she got it though or her Mom would take it from her, let the babies starve while she went out for her next fix. Hubby just found out what happened to her. Ends up, after her scholarship to a charter school known for training musicians and then helping them get scholarships to college, she did go to college and graduated. Now she's married to a good Christian man and they have two of their own kids. (Her kids aren't in school yet, so we don't know what degree she got or her plans. Just what friends of ours knew at the time.)
You're getting therapy now, so you're already getting the skills to avoid needing recovery.
You're getting therapy now, so you're already getting the skills to avoid needing recovery.
D
Stepmom has quite a few kids in the house. The oldest is 14 and the youngest is two. Exactly how is she supposed to be making all that money plus take care of all those kids? Most bosses don't want toddlers coming to work with Mom. Most bosses will fire a women if she takes off too often simply because one of many kids is sick. If she's depressed, I can see why. And, according to you, she should come home after that full day, feed the kids, play with them and spend time with them, put them to bed, and then start on the housework?
She may be many things, but lazy isn't one of them. Exhausted probably is. Depressed. Feeling like an utter failure. Seeing no way out. But lazy? Nope.
I have that she takes it out on Natania against her. I don't have that she relies on Natania against her.
And Natania is feeding her siblings, so not feeding them isn't a good idea.
She may be many things, but lazy isn't one of them. Exhausted probably is. Depressed. Feeling like an utter failure. Seeing no way out. But lazy? Nope.
I have that she takes it out on Natania against her. I don't have that she relies on Natania against her.
And Natania is feeding her siblings, so not feeding them isn't a good idea.