Hello all I've come here humbly seeking advice. It would help if other men could answer seeings how I'm trying to decipher another man's intentions, but I welcome all helpful thoughts. I've tried seeking advice from close friends but I felt they were either biased or they aren't believers which can influence how they view this situation.
About two and a half months ago at a young adult gathering at church, a guy came up to me and sat down and started a conversation with me out of the blue. I was sitting by myself so I thought maybe he was just being nice because I was alone. I'm not the type of girl where guys just come up to me of their own accord so it truly surprised me. I thought we'd talk for a few minutes and he'd get bored or be taken away by friends or something, but for the rest of that evening he stayed by my side and we chatted on and off and then I went home. I didn't think I'd see him again because it's a very large group and he wasn't in my weekly small group. At the time I was talking to another guy but we weren't more than friends yet and I wasn't sure it felt right with him so I remember praying that I wish I could meet someone at church because it would be so much easier to build a relationship that way. Then that night I met this guy. I don't believe it was just a coincidence that it happened. I prayed again that night that if this was how God was answering my prayer that I would meet him again and it wouldn't be forced and I wouldn't become obsessed with seeking him out again that it would happen naturally. Well the next week I didn't see him so yes I was a tad discouraged but I reminded myself that Gods timing isn't always immediate like we wish. I had already stopped talking to this other guy rather he severed our communication not me but I wasn't very upset over it at all.
The next week I saw him again and it felt kind of like a sign. He sat behind me and when it was time for our meet and greet before the sermon he tapped me on the shoulder and said hey and gave me a hug and then afterwards he invited me to come to his small group and he even gave me a ride there. He offered to buy me food as well but I had previously eaten so I politely declined. The next week I had a meeting at work so I was unable to go but on Sunday I went to a membership class with my mother. They provided us food so when I stepped out to fill my plate he saw me and waved me over and gave me a big hug of course I only had one free hand so it was a tad weird. We chatted a few seconds and then we went back inside to our own tables.
Then a couple days later on group night I wasn't feeling well at all and had had a rough day at work. I sent him a message to ask if he would ask our group to pray for me and he said yes and he asked me what was wrong so I told him I was going through some stuff. He literally replied with: well would you like to have dinner one night and talk about it? Completely out of nowhere I was shocked I mean I've never been asked out before of course I said yes because what harm could come from it. I asked a few friends and they all seemed to agree it sounded like a date but my thing was he didn't say it was one so how could I know for sure. Well Sunday night came and he offered to pick me up. He opened his car door for me and helped me in. He opened doors for me and let me order my food first. Paying was a bit awkward because I went first and I had no idea if I was supposed to buy my own food and I thought if I did he might be offended because he asked me out or whatever but also didn't want to seem like I just wanted a free meal out of him but he did pay. We talked for two whole hours. I've never been able to talk that long with a guy who wasn't my relative. They either get distracted or find me boring or don't want to contribute to the conversation or if it's at church another girl will interrupt because he's her boyfriend or something just its not normal for a guy to want to talk with me for so long. He was engaged he never had his phone out even when I went to the bathroom and every few minutes when I was talking he'd smile at me which was dangerous because his smile would almost make me forget what I was saying and make me blush and he actually wanted to talk to me I didn't have to force him to talk about himself he wanted me to know things about him and we talked about light hearted things and also deep things from our pasts and spiritual things as well. When he dropped me off he asked if he could pray for me and what i needed prayer for and it was just really touching to me.
So then Tuesday night group came again and he offered me a ride again and it was special because it was his birthday. We were the last ones at the restaurant because he was helping with take down and when we got there all eyes were on him because he was the birthday boy and it kind of felt like everyone was staring at the two of us coming in together and that they were all assuming we were a couple which wouldn't bother me mostly because I want it to be true but sometimes guys feel weird about that especially if the girl people assume him to be with isn't the most attractive girl and he might be embarrassed for them to think that and try to pull away from me or whatever. But anyway he asked me if I wanted anything I said it was okay that I would pay for myself I wasn't going to make him buy me food on his birthday. It was nice interacting with other people I didn't work with. The group leader is a guy about the same age as me and it just feels different. Like he's nice to me and hugs me but it's usually only side hugs and very brief and he did offer once to pick up my food for me when my little buzzer went off but I can tell that that's just his personality like he acts that way with all girls. Not that T (my guy) doesn't have a generous personality he really does but I've kind of seen him around other girls and it's like how he treats them is how he'd treat his sisters like I've never seen him have long conversations with them or give them big hugs or offer rides and as far as I know he hasn't asked any to dinner since he's asked me. Maybe I'm reading into it too much or am having false hope. Before he took me home he took the group leader aside to chat in private and they were about ten feet away so I couldn't hear them but I could catch little tidbits when it was quiet and I swear in their conversation I heard one of them say my name not sure which one because I wasn't trying to listen but it's hard to confuse my name with other words really so I have no idea what they could have been talking about that pertained to me maybe.
Well again, the next week I had another meeting at work which sucked but by now him and I were texting a bit but it's kind of hard to gauge anything that way because he's told me he's not a big texter and he works long hours at his job with no breaks unless they aren't busy. So I try not to base his interest in me by our phone conversations because in person he's very engaged and talkative. So the next week I texted him telling him I would be coming that night and he said yay and I said I know you've missed me haha and he replied with yes I have missed you it's been too long. I didn't see him at first but he was late and afterwards he came up to me and hugged me for at least a minute and said its been forever since I saw you and we chatted and he asked if he could give me a ride again and I said yes and he had to stay again for take down and I offered my help to make it go faster. He asked in the car if I was hungry and I was except I hadn't brought my wallet with me so I said that hoping that he didn't take it as I was trying to get free food from him or whatever and he just casually said oh we'll have to take care of that then. So I just ordered a small something on his ticket and he was happy to pay for it and we sat across from each other this time so I could see his face and reactions to things instead of sitting next to me like the las time. So during discussion someone was answering one of the questions and I had to lean forward a little because it was a long table. I had a pen to take notes with in my study guide and he reached over and took my pen and started playing with it and making silly faces and it just felt kind of flirty and silly and of course it made me giggle and he eventually gave it back. Then when it was time for prayer requests one of the girls suggested we all gather in and out our arms around each other. Of course since he and I were a bit apart our arms couldn't reach so we held hands instead and it just felt really nice and almost like it fit. I know it's weird to say all that and overly romanticized but it did and at the end he squeezed my hand before he let go. Also my birthday is at the end of the month and he mentioned at least twice oh we should do something for your birthday and all that. I had a three day weekend because of Labor Day and I was talking about how I wished I had plans but I'd probably just sleep and he said well I wouldn't mind having dinner except I'm going to be working the whole weekend because of the sales. So I didn't push it because forcing someone to go out when they're tired isn't fun but he didn't have to mention that to me so it made me feel good that he thought about that even though he couldn't.
I'm just not sure. One of my friends keeps telling me he's just being a Christian gentleman and respectful and what not but I mean how many guys ask girls to dinner as just friends if they didn't have more intentions? I don't want to ask him point blank I'm afraid that would mess it all up or make things weird but it's making me antsy not knowing. I feel like my prayers to meet someone at church and have it be easier and then boom we meet and things progress can't be coincidences. And every time I think nothing will come of it I pray for some kind of sign or whatever that will let me know if we're meant to progress in our relationship or just stay friends and then something happens whether big or small. But then others tell me that since he hasn't actually asked me out again that he's not interested or since he hasn't brought up his intentions he's just messing around with me. I don't know.
About two and a half months ago at a young adult gathering at church, a guy came up to me and sat down and started a conversation with me out of the blue. I was sitting by myself so I thought maybe he was just being nice because I was alone. I'm not the type of girl where guys just come up to me of their own accord so it truly surprised me. I thought we'd talk for a few minutes and he'd get bored or be taken away by friends or something, but for the rest of that evening he stayed by my side and we chatted on and off and then I went home. I didn't think I'd see him again because it's a very large group and he wasn't in my weekly small group. At the time I was talking to another guy but we weren't more than friends yet and I wasn't sure it felt right with him so I remember praying that I wish I could meet someone at church because it would be so much easier to build a relationship that way. Then that night I met this guy. I don't believe it was just a coincidence that it happened. I prayed again that night that if this was how God was answering my prayer that I would meet him again and it wouldn't be forced and I wouldn't become obsessed with seeking him out again that it would happen naturally. Well the next week I didn't see him so yes I was a tad discouraged but I reminded myself that Gods timing isn't always immediate like we wish. I had already stopped talking to this other guy rather he severed our communication not me but I wasn't very upset over it at all.
The next week I saw him again and it felt kind of like a sign. He sat behind me and when it was time for our meet and greet before the sermon he tapped me on the shoulder and said hey and gave me a hug and then afterwards he invited me to come to his small group and he even gave me a ride there. He offered to buy me food as well but I had previously eaten so I politely declined. The next week I had a meeting at work so I was unable to go but on Sunday I went to a membership class with my mother. They provided us food so when I stepped out to fill my plate he saw me and waved me over and gave me a big hug of course I only had one free hand so it was a tad weird. We chatted a few seconds and then we went back inside to our own tables.
Then a couple days later on group night I wasn't feeling well at all and had had a rough day at work. I sent him a message to ask if he would ask our group to pray for me and he said yes and he asked me what was wrong so I told him I was going through some stuff. He literally replied with: well would you like to have dinner one night and talk about it? Completely out of nowhere I was shocked I mean I've never been asked out before of course I said yes because what harm could come from it. I asked a few friends and they all seemed to agree it sounded like a date but my thing was he didn't say it was one so how could I know for sure. Well Sunday night came and he offered to pick me up. He opened his car door for me and helped me in. He opened doors for me and let me order my food first. Paying was a bit awkward because I went first and I had no idea if I was supposed to buy my own food and I thought if I did he might be offended because he asked me out or whatever but also didn't want to seem like I just wanted a free meal out of him but he did pay. We talked for two whole hours. I've never been able to talk that long with a guy who wasn't my relative. They either get distracted or find me boring or don't want to contribute to the conversation or if it's at church another girl will interrupt because he's her boyfriend or something just its not normal for a guy to want to talk with me for so long. He was engaged he never had his phone out even when I went to the bathroom and every few minutes when I was talking he'd smile at me which was dangerous because his smile would almost make me forget what I was saying and make me blush and he actually wanted to talk to me I didn't have to force him to talk about himself he wanted me to know things about him and we talked about light hearted things and also deep things from our pasts and spiritual things as well. When he dropped me off he asked if he could pray for me and what i needed prayer for and it was just really touching to me.
So then Tuesday night group came again and he offered me a ride again and it was special because it was his birthday. We were the last ones at the restaurant because he was helping with take down and when we got there all eyes were on him because he was the birthday boy and it kind of felt like everyone was staring at the two of us coming in together and that they were all assuming we were a couple which wouldn't bother me mostly because I want it to be true but sometimes guys feel weird about that especially if the girl people assume him to be with isn't the most attractive girl and he might be embarrassed for them to think that and try to pull away from me or whatever. But anyway he asked me if I wanted anything I said it was okay that I would pay for myself I wasn't going to make him buy me food on his birthday. It was nice interacting with other people I didn't work with. The group leader is a guy about the same age as me and it just feels different. Like he's nice to me and hugs me but it's usually only side hugs and very brief and he did offer once to pick up my food for me when my little buzzer went off but I can tell that that's just his personality like he acts that way with all girls. Not that T (my guy) doesn't have a generous personality he really does but I've kind of seen him around other girls and it's like how he treats them is how he'd treat his sisters like I've never seen him have long conversations with them or give them big hugs or offer rides and as far as I know he hasn't asked any to dinner since he's asked me. Maybe I'm reading into it too much or am having false hope. Before he took me home he took the group leader aside to chat in private and they were about ten feet away so I couldn't hear them but I could catch little tidbits when it was quiet and I swear in their conversation I heard one of them say my name not sure which one because I wasn't trying to listen but it's hard to confuse my name with other words really so I have no idea what they could have been talking about that pertained to me maybe.
Well again, the next week I had another meeting at work which sucked but by now him and I were texting a bit but it's kind of hard to gauge anything that way because he's told me he's not a big texter and he works long hours at his job with no breaks unless they aren't busy. So I try not to base his interest in me by our phone conversations because in person he's very engaged and talkative. So the next week I texted him telling him I would be coming that night and he said yay and I said I know you've missed me haha and he replied with yes I have missed you it's been too long. I didn't see him at first but he was late and afterwards he came up to me and hugged me for at least a minute and said its been forever since I saw you and we chatted and he asked if he could give me a ride again and I said yes and he had to stay again for take down and I offered my help to make it go faster. He asked in the car if I was hungry and I was except I hadn't brought my wallet with me so I said that hoping that he didn't take it as I was trying to get free food from him or whatever and he just casually said oh we'll have to take care of that then. So I just ordered a small something on his ticket and he was happy to pay for it and we sat across from each other this time so I could see his face and reactions to things instead of sitting next to me like the las time. So during discussion someone was answering one of the questions and I had to lean forward a little because it was a long table. I had a pen to take notes with in my study guide and he reached over and took my pen and started playing with it and making silly faces and it just felt kind of flirty and silly and of course it made me giggle and he eventually gave it back. Then when it was time for prayer requests one of the girls suggested we all gather in and out our arms around each other. Of course since he and I were a bit apart our arms couldn't reach so we held hands instead and it just felt really nice and almost like it fit. I know it's weird to say all that and overly romanticized but it did and at the end he squeezed my hand before he let go. Also my birthday is at the end of the month and he mentioned at least twice oh we should do something for your birthday and all that. I had a three day weekend because of Labor Day and I was talking about how I wished I had plans but I'd probably just sleep and he said well I wouldn't mind having dinner except I'm going to be working the whole weekend because of the sales. So I didn't push it because forcing someone to go out when they're tired isn't fun but he didn't have to mention that to me so it made me feel good that he thought about that even though he couldn't.
I'm just not sure. One of my friends keeps telling me he's just being a Christian gentleman and respectful and what not but I mean how many guys ask girls to dinner as just friends if they didn't have more intentions? I don't want to ask him point blank I'm afraid that would mess it all up or make things weird but it's making me antsy not knowing. I feel like my prayers to meet someone at church and have it be easier and then boom we meet and things progress can't be coincidences. And every time I think nothing will come of it I pray for some kind of sign or whatever that will let me know if we're meant to progress in our relationship or just stay friends and then something happens whether big or small. But then others tell me that since he hasn't actually asked me out again that he's not interested or since he hasn't brought up his intentions he's just messing around with me. I don't know.
Don't read more into this situation, than what there actually is.
