Grounds for divorce

[kaylagrl]

You litterally are not listening to a word.
I did not say talking to her about it was okay.
And yes your right, we dont need to know the situation. But we dont know it so yiu cant make assumptions on the stuation on why something is the way it is, as i said.
Or or or or... Just maybe the marriage is loveless. Like i said, we dont know or know the full situation.
And if your going to quote me do not just take the words you want. As i said "Ive told her to have him work on the marriage and them settle it without outsider distractions. that'd be her. so without her." Note the last three words thst you decided to cut out.

And lastly, i did say for her to move on wiyh her life and not keep hope so i really dont know what your reading or getting this from. As i said, we dont know the situation or the people. He could be crappy, she could be, maybe neither are and just need to work together. Point is. We dont know. Let God handle it as i said. Hopefully she takes to heart the advice given to stop anymore damage but itll probably take a bit for it to sink in with her.

Lets go back to what you said at first...

NONE of us knows God's will. I know he hates divorce but what if he married this woman before he was a christian? Or she's not a christian? we do not know the full story or all the details.

NOW OP that does not mean hold out for him or try for it. Go on with your life. His will will be done but you cant pause and hope it's him. it'll happen on its on a long time after they decide together what to do, and he heals and seeks god on his own after.


1.You said none of us know Gods will. I said we do, what she is doing is wrong. You said we dont know the situation and I said the situation doesn't matter,its still wrong. Assumptions dont matter,the story doesn't matter.You keep saying but,but. No its between the married couple! Why are you arguing about assumptions and the situation?! It doesnt matter! Its wrong!

2. You say "it'll happen on its own a long time after they decide together what to do, and he heals and seeks god on his own after." Am I reading this wrong? It sounds like you tell her to move on but it could still happen after a while. Thats not right,that leaves her still emotionally attached to this married man. If I read that wrong please tell me what you mean. It sounds like you are saying you agree with me but when I read your posts you're not agreeing. Im missing something.

 

[Jackson123]

He has been in a loveless marriage for years before he met me

I am not aware if this is biblical reason for divorce and re marriage. The bible allow us divorce if:
1. our spouse commit adultery
2. our spouse is unbeliever and decide to leave

Loveless marriage must not resolve by divorce but prayer.

 

[trofimus]

I am not aware if this is biblical reason for divorce and re marriage. The bible allow us divorce if:
1. our spouse commit adultery
2. our spouse is unbeliever and decide to leave

Loveless marriage must not resolve by divorce but prayer.

Agreed. And I must add that even after the divorce we are not given the right to remarry.

 

[miknik5]

Been searching for verses regarding divorce! , ive prayed for the lord to put a godly man in my life, this man is serving God but is married. I need scripture please and prayer

How is he godly? He's married and should not be involved with anyone else but his wife

 

[Ariel82]

Brknhearted,

In the midst of all this (the pain, uncertainty and sense of loss), please remember you are a beloved daughter of God and He loves you more than any man can.

You have a compassionate heart that wants someone to love and that yearning heart filled with love is a good thing. There are many people who need others who love them and there is more than just romantic love.

Perhaps you can find a ministry that allows you to show your love in healthy ways, while you wait for the wonderful man God means for you to be with. One whose heart is not divided and can fully love and marry you, because that is what you as a daughter of God deserves.

Meanwhile pray and ask God what He wants you to spend your time doing to help others while you wait. Most godly men find women who love God and live their lives for Him attractive.

Will keep you in prayer that you find love peace and joy.

 

[kaylagrl]

How is he godly? He's married and should not be involved with anyone else but his wife

Thats what I keep going back to. To Brknhearted we truly dont want you to be broken hearted in making the wrong choice. The saying goes its better to be single and lonely than married and miserable. That is where people are who run ahead of God and His plans. I hope you will take to heart what people are trying to tell you. Its like a horror movie,we want to stop you before its too late. God has someone for you,its not this man. So please get out of his life and start looking for that man God has for you. You wouldn't want to miss the blessing while holding on to fools gold. Let go,trust us on this. Perhaps you feel this is your last chance at love,its not.God has the best plans for you,stop resisting and let this man go. You have said you have and I hope you stick too that.

 

[Jackson123]

Thats what I keep going back to. To Brknhearted we truly dont want you to be broken hearted in making the wrong choice. The saying goes its better to be single and lonely than married and miserable. That is where people are who run ahead of God and His plans. I hope you will take to heart what people are trying to tell you. Its like a horror movie,we want to stop you before its too late. God has someone for you,its not this man. So please get out of his life and start looking for that man God has for you. You wouldn't want to miss the blessing while holding on to fools gold. Let go,trust us on this. Perhaps you feel this is your last chance at love,its not.God has the best plans for you,stop resisting and let this man go. You have said you have and I hope you stick too that.

I like it. I marriage non believer, and experience the pain. If I can reverse the time, I would not do it. Now what I can do is pray and learn to love her what ever it is, it is not easy.

For example, If we do little success, I said praise the Lord. It is Him, and she mad and ask, why if it fail you blame me and if it success you said it is the Lord, when is my turn. I am kind of scare of her attitude, not respect God at all. who we are challenge the Lord, almighty. All I can do is warn her and pray ask the Lord for his forgiveness

 

[Ariel82]

Jackson, why would you blame your wife for your business failures?

You could praise God for good fortune and praise her for the little things she does. By showing God's love to her maybe you can her heart.

 

[Jackson123]

Jackson, why would you blame your wife for your business failures?

You could praise God for good fortune and praise her for the little things she does. By showing God's love to her maybe you can her heart.

thank for your input brother, I and her have different attitude on doing business. She doesn't care if we owe money, and keep spending, she think it is necessary, and I am very careful due to our small income. That way i don't want her to keep spending money till we have enough saving.
And ya, some time I am not show God Love and blame her when we broke.

I believe if we donate our little money for the work of the Lord, The Lord will help us, and she mad, she do not believe it.

That always our problem. pray for us brother.

 

[LitaVore]

Been searching for verses regarding divorce! , ive prayed for the lord to put a godly man in my life, this man is serving God but is married. I need scripture please and prayer

Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it!

God isn't going to send a man that's already married. God is our Lord fo understanding, not confusion so why would He confuse His own Word and send that man to you?

 

[brknhearted]

Ariel, your words really touched my heart, thank you. I have always wanted to help out in the childrens ministry.

 

[brknhearted]

thats what i am having trouble with, people do not meet by accident. We belong to same church, we just basically greeted each other weekly, then all of a sudden this happened.

 

[trofimus]

thats what i am having trouble with, people do not meet by accident. We belong to same church, we just basically greeted each other weekly, then all of a sudden this happened.

Trial, temptation, etc.

The fact that something "happened" is not the reason to think "I need to continue in it".

 

[kaylagrl]

thank for your input brother, I and her have different attitude on doing business. She doesn't care if we owe money, and keep spending, she think it is necessary, and I am very careful due to our small income. That way i don't want her to keep spending money till we have enough saving.
And ya, some time I am not show God Love and blame her when we broke.

I believe if we donate our little money for the work of the Lord, The Lord will help us, and she mad, she do not believe it.

That always our problem. pray for us brother.

Ariel is in pink,so she is a sister

 

[jsr1221]

No,Im sorry you're wrong, we do know God's will. God's will is that this man works on his marriage instead of trying to get with the next woman. He is playing on her empathy and her naivety. She has no business knowing anything about his private life. Whether his wife is a Christian or not, any circumstances in the marriage are no ones business but his and his wife. Period. No details needed.If you were married you'd have a different view I think. How can you decide to work on your marriage when you have another woman on your mind? He and she are in an emotional relationship,the last thing he's thinking about is getting back with his wife. Its 100% wrong. I know how I would feel if my husband was doing this to me, devastated. Wrong,just wrong.

I agree this is highly inappropriate. But let's not ignore the fact there are married women that go to other women when men are not "performing" her needs. Just like there are men that go to other men if the woman isn't "performing". I know that's not the case in this situation, but in the situation I provided there will always be other folks that know someone isn't doing her or his duties properly. In a sense, this type of information never stays between a husband and wife.

 

[lv2ski]

I don't know everything that's been said, though the first part was right on and 4 pages later it looks like it's falling apart a bit.

Just remember, Jesus said that divorce is by the hardness of the heart.

The two A's of biblical divorce, Adultry and abandonment. The only two reasons, though they aren't mandates.

Get with someone's husband, Hebrews13 'ssays you'll b don't chate judged by God personally. Godly men don't cheat, but lust and covetousness canchange that. You absolutely will not be blessed. In fact you will bring a firestorm into your lives.8

 

[Ariel82]

thank for your input brother, I and her have different attitude on doing business. She doesn't care if we owe money, and keep spending, she think it is necessary, and I am very careful due to our small income. That way i don't want her to keep spending money till we have enough saving.
And ya, some time I am not show God Love and blame her when we broke.

I believe if we donate our little money for the work of the Lord, The Lord will help us, and she mad, she do not believe it.

That always our problem. pray for us brother.

Will definitely pray.

Money seems to split alot of couples.

Does your church have financial management or counseling classes?

Or make a list of needs and wants..document what gets spend for a month and how much money you get in..factor in how much you want to save for emergencies and pray about it all.

My husband does alot of it, but we pray together.

Needs...God, food, water, shelter, clothing, a way to get to work and time to pray and rest and spend with love ones,

Wants....anything else.

Maybe have your wife make a list of her wants....you make of your wants and you both make a joint list of needs...it you both don't agree ...then you probably don't really need it.

That's how we do it.

We are looking for ways to save money..I am not ashamed to say I shop at secondhand and discount stores for our clothes...pick up dresses and pants for 1/3 the cost at the mall or department stores.

Sometimes we have to let go of our pride and live with what God has blessed us with.

 

[lv2ski]

I agree this is highly inappropriate. But let's not ignore the fact there are married women that go to other women when men are not "performing" her needs. Just like there are men that go to other men if the woman isn't "performing". I know that's not the case in this situation, but in the situation I provided there will always be other folks that know someone isn't doing her or his duties properly. In a sense, this type of information never stays between a husband and wife.

Too much info....eewww

 

[Ariel82]

thats what i am having trouble with, people do not meet by accident. We belong to same church, we just basically greeted each other weekly, then all of a sudden this happened.

He probably saw that you had a loving heart.

I think it's great if you can be involved in the children ministry. I am suppose to be sleeping so I can teach Sunday school for the 1st graders tomorrow, but I wanted to type a quick response.

I had guys walk up to me and say I had a light around me...one really creepy guy at a bookstore once, but that is a story for another time.

I have some guy friends who I never dated because I always thought they were more attracted to the Holy Spirit within me than me personally. I always treated them like my brothers and changed the topic if they tried and ask me out. (my policy was to never date a guy a wanted to change or who wanted to change me)

I had red flags that would tell me, he is not the one...you probably have them too.

1. He is in a relationship already.
2. He doesn't get when I am joking and when I am serious
3. He doesn't care about education
4. He doesn't care about his appearance
5. He has no idea how to earn money, save or plan for the future
6. Marriage is a distant distant goal for him
7. He hates kids
8. He has no close friends who love him, which makes him super clingy to me
9. He wants me to tell him how to live his life
10. He won't eat my cooking.
11. He isn't a gentlemen (open doors, pick up dinner tab, etc)

I have more, but reflecting back...I have to say meeting my husband and falling in love with him has to be a God thing.

I had a list for testing if I really loved him too lol maybe next post.

 

[Ariel82]

One example:

I know I must really love him because.....

Though I am grossed out I will still give him kisses after he farts (do all boys even grown ones think that's funny?)