Issues with wife.

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pottersclay

Guest
#21
#21
Should you stay or should you leave...hhhhmmm......is this a big enough issue to support my leaving her and blaming her for the break up? Oops just reading between the lines....sorry.
 
C

CMA

Guest
#22
#22
Do you love her if you do it is worth saving. It will not be a ez road a lot of hard work and heart brakes for you. I have been married for 17 years 3 years ago my wife told me that she didn't have feelings for me and she didn't love me. I did the same thing as you and look at her phone to find out she had been texting a co-worker they had not meat up but the texts was not wright for a married person to be getting and sending. I was very upset and hurt I text him and it only made things worse we ended up separating for a year. I tried to fix things my shelf by calling the man and texting him it didn't work. I had god in my life before and had drifted a way and things was bad. I did a lot of praying after I found I could not save my Margie this way turned it over to God after a lot of praying for her and him and it Margie. He stopped working with her and had no more contract with her. He was also a married man I could have called his wife and made it bad for him but I put it in God's hands. I am happy to tell you that we have been living together for the past 2 years. It has not been ez but I can see that God is working on things and it will happen in his time. He has a plane for each of us and some times we get hurt to get to a better place. With out praying and give it to God I would not be back home with my wife and kids. The first thing in is to forgive her and your shelf and follow His each day. I have found that the love I have for her is the love that I get from His each day. I will never leave her side as the day we got married I promised God and Family and friends to stand by her in all times. All I can say is do not ever think about a divorce and let. God bringing you both throw this in his time. Just reamer it took 20 years for you to get a thus point it will not change over night. I will be praying for your wife and you God bless both of you.
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#23
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
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#23
Waukeganman1234 said:
Hello. About three weeks I checked my wifes phone and found out that she has been texting and calling another man. Texts were flirty like hey baby hey sexy type stuff. She admitted that they went on three dates and did kiss once. SInce I found out she apologized and swore she did not like the guy and is in love with me only however she has been acting rather cold not touching me. I checked her phone and she stopped contacting the guy but did change her password on the ipod. We have been married since 2001 and we have 2 kids. ANy advice? she did say she needs to see a counselor and already has appointments. Should I trust her or leave?
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People don't say "hey baby. Hey sexy." to people they don't like. She's not sorry for going behind your back. She's sorry she got caught. And now she's cold and angry because she did get caught. Rather than take responsibility for her own actions, she wants to lash out and place the blame elsewhere. I know you have kids, but the only way this is salvageable is if she has a change of heart. That can only come from God.
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#24
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
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#24
Tommy379 said:
Maybe he should knock the snot out of the guy who kissed his wife, this other guy has got to know she is another man's wife.

Maybe it will make her hot for her husband again.
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Married women don't always tell the man they're having an affair with (physically or emotionally) they are married. So to automatically assume this other guy knew isn't right.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#25
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
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#25
jsr1221 said:
Married women don't always tell the man they're having an affair with (physically or emotionally) they are married. So to automatically assume this other guy knew isn't right.
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Doubt it. He knows. He atleast knows this woman isn't his own wife. I'd still beat crap out of him.
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#26
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
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#26
Marek said:
still doesn't excuse her whorish behavior, no offense to the husband, but she is sneaking around on ya it seems.
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I agree, I'd dump her... There's a reason she changed her password so you couldn't snoop anymore, and if you believer her 3 dates with this guy ended with just a kiss, your somewhat naive.

Tommy379 said:
Maybe he should knock the snot out of the guy who kissed his wife, this other guy has got to know she is another man's wife.
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Absolutely, all his anger should be directed towards the other man, not his wife :).. That's the difference between men and women, a man finds his wife in bed with another man and he wants to kill the guy, a woman find her husband in bed with another woman and she wants to kill her husband.. The latter is more logical.
 
PrynceNY

PrynceNY

Banned
#27
Aug 16, 2016
2,184
62
0
#27
What ever you decide to do, don't resort to violence. God does not want you to handle situations like that. I hope your wife repents.
 
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LaurenTM

Guest
#28
#28
are the people (men) who are ignoring the fact this dude spent 20 years lusting after women in a 2 dimensional world ignoring that fact on purpose or do y'all have massive comprehension problems or possibly poor reading skillz?
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#29
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
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#29
Tommy379 said:
Doubt it. He knows. He atleast knows this woman isn't his own wife. I'd still beat crap out of him.
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Is it that far-fetched in thinking maybe she is capable of having her wedding ring off around him and living a secret life? Married men do this, so it's not far fetched in thinking she is capable in doing the same. To automatically assume he knows isn't right. Plus, it takes the blame away from her (how I interpret it, anyways).
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#30
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#30
LaurenTM said:
are the people (men) who are ignoring the fact this dude spent 20 years lusting after women in a 2 dimensional world ignoring that fact on purpose or do y'all have massive comprehension problems or possibly poor reading skillz?
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His issues don't automatically mean his wife gets to do the things she did. I grew up in an pain pill popping and alcoholic house, and saw constant verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. I don't use my life as a child to justify my behavior as an adult. We have to take responsibility for our own mistakes. She's at fault for her own actions, regardless of what transpired leading up to it.
 
Silverwings

Silverwings

Senior Member
#31
Jul 27, 2016
1,368
500
83
#31
Waukeganman1234 said:
Hello. About three weeks I checked my wifes phone and found out that she has been texting and calling another man. Texts were flirty like hey baby hey sexy type stuff. She admitted that they went on three dates and did kiss once. SInce I found out she apologized and swore she did not like the guy and is in love with me only however she has been acting rather cold not touching me. I checked her phone and she stopped contacting the guy but did change her password on the ipod. We have been married since 2001 and we have 2 kids. ANy advice? she did say she needs to see a counselor and already has appointments. Should I trust her or leave?
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Give her the benefit of the doubt, she has agreed to counseling, and that is a huge start down the path of renewal of the mind. The children are the most important elements in the equasion, what you do as arents will affect them for life, thye did not ask for trouble, nor can they do anything about it, but suffer and be in misery, when mom & dad are not getting along
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Anything either of you can do to salvage this marriage, is more than worth the effort.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#32
#32
jsr1221 said:
His issues don't automatically mean his wife gets to do the things she did. I grew up in an pain pill popping and alcoholic house, and saw constant verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. I don't use my life as a child to justify my behavior as an adult. We have to take responsibility for our own mistakes. She's at fault for her own actions, regardless of what transpired leading up to it.
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They are both at fault. End of sentence. Both ran it into the ditch,both are responsible to do everything they can to get it back on the road. He has no right to be superior in judging her. They both sinned.They need to own that and move forward.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#33
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
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#33
jsr1221 said:
Is it that far-fetched in thinking maybe she is capable of having her wedding ring off around him and living a secret life? Married men do this, so it's not far fetched in thinking she is capable in doing the same. To automatically assume he knows isn't right. Plus, it takes the blame away from her (how I interpret it, anyways).
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The other guy knows this woman ain't his wife.

Crush the serpents head.
 
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LaurenTM

Guest
#34
#34
jsr1221 said:
His issues don't automatically mean his wife gets to do the things she did. I grew up in an pain pill popping and alcoholic house, and saw constant verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. I don't use my life as a child to justify my behavior as an adult. We have to take responsibility for our own mistakes. She's at fault for her own actions, regardless of what transpired leading up to it.
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so, since you are so unbiased, I guess the cough cough man of the house gets a pass on TWENTY YEARS OF A PORN ADDICTION THAT IS EATING HIM UP ALIVE? (his words, not mine)

you would make a great divorce lawyer...

'it's not his fault your honor....his wife messed up on him...what? the 20 years of porn addiction she had to live with? those were not real women, your honor...they were just digital babes...now his wife is actually flirting and possibly more with a real live man...surely your honor can see that? I mean, we are at fault for our own actions, so it's not the serial adulterer husband...it's the wife your honor...my client cannot stand the pain she has inflicted on him after the 20 years of fidelity she put in while he cheated like crazy'

yeah, that will fly with almost anyone

you would have thought I would see that....:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#35
#35
So, she did what you did and now you are hurt.
.... Now you know how she has been feeling.
Like the feeling?
No?

- Then stop cheating yourself! (Yes, porn IS cheating!)

Her sin does NOT remove your sin
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#36
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#36
LaurenTM said:
so, since you are so unbiased, I guess the cough cough man of the house gets a pass on TWENTY YEARS OF A PORN ADDICTION THAT IS EATING HIM UP ALIVE? (his words, not mine)

you would make a great divorce lawyer...

'it's not his fault your honor....his wife messed up on him...what? the 20 years of porn addiction she had to live with? those were not real women, your honor...they were just digital babes...now his wife is actually flirting and possibly more with a real live man...surely your honor can see that? I mean, we are at fault for our own actions, so it's not the serial adulterer husband...it's the wife your honor...my client cannot stand the pain she has inflicted on him after the 20 years of fidelity she put in while he cheated like crazy'

yeah, that will fly with almost anyone

you would have thought I would see that....:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
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I see you failed to notice post #32 where Kayla says both are at fault and how I agreed with her. You wouldn't make a good lawyer, yourself. A lot of reading of those documents, and you sure would miss more than just a thing or two. I can see you disagree with her post, though, or else you wouldn't be dismissing her actions. Talk about being unbiased.
 
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melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#37
Aug 12, 2011
10,470
2,708
113
#37
both parties have issues that need to be resolved. i agree with those who recommend marriage counseling. you 2 need to get to the root of the problem(s).
 
L

LaurenTM

Guest
#38
#38
jsr1221 said:
I see you failed to notice post #32 where Kayla says both are at fault and how I agreed with her. You wouldn't make a good lawyer, yourself. A lot of reading of those documents, and you sure would miss more than just a thing or two. I can see you disagree with her post, though, or else you wouldn't be dismissing her actions. Talk about being unbiased.
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uh...so if Kayla says something we all agree with her?

good grief man...20 years of porn...

I never dismissed her actions...I said she was wrong...way back in post 12


you know, I actually agree with pottersclay post...I think he hit the nail on the head

you are not right...those who see both sides are right...but the husband has not acted like a husband low these past 20 years

I will reserve further comments because you are not married, don't seem to understand the actual problem here and offer support for the husband who is supposed to be the priest of the home, but instead is the pornographer in chief
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#39
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#39
LaurenTM said:
so, since you are so unbiased, I guess the cough cough man of the house gets a pass on TWENTY YEARS OF A PORN ADDICTION THAT IS EATING HIM UP ALIVE? (his words, not mine)

you would make a great divorce lawyer...

'it's not his fault your honor....his wife messed up on him...what? the 20 years of porn addiction she had to live with? those were not real women, your honor...they were just digital babes...now his wife is actually flirting and possibly more with a real live man...surely your honor can see that? I mean, we are at fault for our own actions, so it's not the serial adulterer husband...it's the wife your honor...my client cannot stand the pain she has inflicted on him after the 20 years of fidelity she put in while he cheated like crazy'

yeah, that will fly with almost anyone

you would have thought I would see that....:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
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Maybe his wife should punch him in the nose for using porn too.
 
L

LaurenTM

Guest
#40
#40
Tommy379 said:
Maybe his wife should punch him in the nose for using porn too.
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I just can't get my head around the men here defending the husband after his prior op's!!!

honestly, what is this? 1814 life at the grand manor where the master takes a maid under his arm for personal tutelage?
 
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