Hello, everyone
Frist off, I have no idea where I should have posted this, but I hope its ok in this section.
These past few years have been so crazy for me, so much has happened, and getting kicked out of my former church was probably, the best yet worst thing that could have happened to me... like I'm glad I'm finally out of there yet sometimes when I speak to my Family, all I get from them is how I made the worst decision of my life by leaving Hebron Ministeries, I grew up in that church and not being allowed to talk to my friends or hang out with my cousins because I'm no longer a church member is really tough, plus hearing that I'm basically condemned for no longer being in Hebron is getting to me... for some reason they believe that only those church members will be saved and anyone else is wrong and condemned to hell at least that's how my former pastor made me think, which is crazy, to say the least.. but even when I was a member I never felt like I belonged there, I always questioned the pastor and church members yet was told that was a bad trait because I had too much doubt in my heart :\ and now that I'm free, they keep checking up on me basically stalking me tbh and no I'm not exaggerating I wish I was.. theirs just so much going on like I truly feel condemned by them they don't know the damage they're doing to me, it's hard for me to pray now, like I feel God doesn't hear me anymore or just doesn't care because well I failed Him by getting kicked out of Hebron, I just feel so spiritually drained like theirs no hope for me, and I'm so tired of hearing how much Hebron members are better than everyone else I just need prayers if they truly believe I'm doomed to hell then why don't they help me instead of making me feel this way, but I don't know I just wish I could disappear... I just feel so alone.
Frist off, I have no idea where I should have posted this, but I hope its ok in this section.
These past few years have been so crazy for me, so much has happened, and getting kicked out of my former church was probably, the best yet worst thing that could have happened to me... like I'm glad I'm finally out of there yet sometimes when I speak to my Family, all I get from them is how I made the worst decision of my life by leaving Hebron Ministeries, I grew up in that church and not being allowed to talk to my friends or hang out with my cousins because I'm no longer a church member is really tough, plus hearing that I'm basically condemned for no longer being in Hebron is getting to me... for some reason they believe that only those church members will be saved and anyone else is wrong and condemned to hell at least that's how my former pastor made me think, which is crazy, to say the least.. but even when I was a member I never felt like I belonged there, I always questioned the pastor and church members yet was told that was a bad trait because I had too much doubt in my heart :\ and now that I'm free, they keep checking up on me basically stalking me tbh and no I'm not exaggerating I wish I was.. theirs just so much going on like I truly feel condemned by them they don't know the damage they're doing to me, it's hard for me to pray now, like I feel God doesn't hear me anymore or just doesn't care because well I failed Him by getting kicked out of Hebron, I just feel so spiritually drained like theirs no hope for me, and I'm so tired of hearing how much Hebron members are better than everyone else I just need prayers if they truly believe I'm doomed to hell then why don't they help me instead of making me feel this way, but I don't know I just wish I could disappear... I just feel so alone.