My husband is an addict

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R

Rdb

Guest
#21
#21
miknik5 said:
Do what you have to do right now to ensure the physical and mental safety and well being of yourself and your child. What your husband is doing and abusing is not part of GOD's plan. May GOD open his eyes to this truth and may GOD lead him in doing what is right and good and beautiful
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Amen!! He can have that life all alone. I thought It was gonna be his rock bottom, but apparently not!
 
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Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#22
Jan 26, 2013
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#22
Rdb said:
Hi! I am new to CC. I've been married for almost 4 years. We've been together for 5. We have a 16month old baby that I prayed for my whole life! But my husband is an addict. Prescription pain pills are his favorite??? I guess would be the way to put it. I don't want to just say what he's addicted to because he's addicted to anything that makes him feel different. Not long after we got married he lost his job and from that time on it was keep a job for a month or two and have some ridiculous story about why him getting fired or leaving the job wasn't his fault. The pain pills started not long after we were married also. Looking back now I see how soon it started, but didn't notice it when it did. He would steal money from my checking account to support it and lie, lie, lie! He has become the biggest liar I know. Anyway over the years things got worse and worse. He would get better for a little bit then go right back to his same ole ways. We got pregnant and had a miscarriage. He started to clean up yet again and then a few months later we were pregnant again with the baby we now have. I saw him try and fail a lot while I was pregnant. Then our baby came a month early. Shocked us both!!! After the baby was here my husband got worse and worse and worse. He went to a detox center and a rehab, he didn't stay in the rehab long. I gave him a year to get himself together, to just really try! Well at the end of July I left him. I moved in with my dad and my mental state for sure has been much better! I haven't filed for a divorce and I bring our son to him at his parents one day a week. He gets him the whole day and it gives my son time with his grandparents. I haven't seen any changes. Oh he tells me how much he's changes all the time, but my husband is full of words and very little actions. I just feel lost some days. I pray and pray for God's will. I want my marriage, but I want it with the man I married. I want is to be a family. We tried for several years to get pregnant and now I am raising our son by myself because of his addiction. I honestly think he doesn't want to change. He still lies and lies about things and comes up with the most outrageous stories. I guess I just wanted someone to share with. Sometimes I think it's too much talking to our families about it because it worries and puts stress on them.
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I'm sorry you're going thy this. My Sisters husband was an alcoholic. He's been sober for 5 years now, thank God. There's so much to the recovery process. You did the right thing for you and your baby and he's still part of his life, that's very kind of you.

I don't know if he'll ever be able to give you the family life you'd like. I say keep going on with your life and do what's best for you and your child. That's not selfish, as hard as it is you shouldn't wait around for year's for him to become sober. God Bless
 
miknik5

miknik5

Senior Member
#23
Jun 2, 2016
7,833
591
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#23
Rdb said:
Amen!! He can have that life all alone. I thought It was gonna be his rock bottom, but apparently not!
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I don't think that we are supposed to stop caring for the person but I do believe that we have to stop thinking that we are responsible to do something about changing the person There are some things that we can't do and this is when we have to leave that person in GOD's hands still caring for and wanting what is good for the person but understanding that there are some things that we can NOT do...some things that we can NOT change in our own power or strength
 
R

Rdb

Guest
#24
#24
Fenner said:
I'm sorry you're going thy this. My Sisters husband was an alcoholic. He's been sober for 5 years now, thank God. There's so much to the recovery process. You did the right thing for you and your baby and he's still part of his life, that's very kind of you.

I don't know if he'll ever be able to give you the family life you'd like. I say keep going on with your life and do what's best for you and your child. That's not selfish, as hard as it is you shouldn't wait around for year's for him to become sober. God Bless
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Thank you very much. It's very hard. I think what's the hardest is accepting that I won't have the life I thought I would when I married him. It kills me that our son will never know what it's like for his parents to be together. I'm sure with the state he is now that's a good thing, but still sad for my son.
 
R

Rdb

Guest
#25
#25
miknik5 said:
I don't think that we are supposed to stop caring for the person but I do believe that we have to stop thinking that we are responsible to do something about changing the person There are some things that we can't do and this is when we have to leave that person in GOD's hands still caring for and wanting what is good for the person but understanding that there are some things that we can NOT do...some things that we can NOT change in our own power or strength
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I agree with you. It sure makes it easier when I am mad at him!! But I do not want to get in that mind set because it will stay that way. I don't want to live angry. Which is also part of why I left. I was always angry. Even if I didn't show it to my son I know he felt it and my unhappiness. That's not fair to him. He needed a momma who was her best always.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#26
#26
blue_ladybug said:
Unless he WANTS to change, and WANTS help, and WANTS his marriage, things will not get better. God won't help him if he doesn't want help. God won't force him to do something he doesn't want to do. He is an addict who probably does anything to get what he wants. Actions speak louder than words. Stop subjecting you and your son to this farce of a marriage. Either stay with him, or make the break and divorce him.

The man you married disappeared when he got addicted. And if he doesn't want professional help, then that man you married will never return. Only you and God can decide what is best for you, your son and your marriage right now.
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Actually, God helps people who don't want help all the time. That's what salvation is. (John 3:16-21, John 6:35-40)

So pray for him. God changes people to his good! (Rom. 8:28)
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#27
Feb 21, 2014
70,949
9,699
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#27
Depleted said:
Actually, God helps people who don't want help all the time. That's what salvation is. (John 3:16-21, John 6:35-40)

So pray for him. God changes people to his good! (Rom. 8:28)
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Not if they refuse his help, then no He doesn't..
 
R

Rdb

Guest
#28
#28
Depleted said:
Actually, God helps people who don't want help all the time. That's what salvation is. (John 3:16-21, John 6:35-40)

So pray for him. God changes people to his good! (Rom. 8:28)
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Thank you!
 
wolfwint

wolfwint

Senior Member
#29
Feb 15, 2014
3,859
971
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#29
Fenner said:
I'm sorry you're going thy this. My Sisters husband was an alcoholic. He's been sober for 5 years now, thank God. There's so much to the recovery process. You did the right thing for you and your baby and he's still part of his life, that's very kind of you.

I don't know if he'll ever be able to give you the family life you'd like. I say keep going on with your life and do what's best for you and your child. That's not selfish, as hard as it is you shouldn't wait around for year's for him to become sober. God Bless
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Rdb, you got many good advises, and you are having a loving heart. It was a right step you did! For to show him that you love him, but can´t live with his addicts. In this way you have to protect your child and yourself. My brother in law is an alcohol addictet, since several years. He dont see it and if somebody even mentiones this he becomes very aggressive. He´s family is suffeering under this. My sister is supporting him for to keep peace. From outside its terrible to see. She feares if she will not longer support him, he will comit suicide. Both dont want help!! So my sister is developing her own life with the son and earn the money for family. From human side I see no hope!

But I believe that so long a person lives, their is hope that our heavenly father can change this person !!
Do not give up, it may takes time and the future is unshure, but still in our fathers hand! I pray for you too.
 
wolfwint

wolfwint

Senior Member
#30
Feb 15, 2014
3,859
971
113
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#30
wolfwint said:
Rdb, you got many good advises, and you are having a loving heart. It was a right step you did! For to show him that you love him, but can´t live with his addicts. In this way you have to protect your child and yourself. My brother in law is an alcohol addictet, since several years. He dont see it and if somebody even mentiones this he becomes very aggressive. He´s family is suffeering under this. My sister is supporting him for to keep peace. From outside its terrible to see. She feares if she will not longer support him, he will comit suicide. Both dont want help!! So my sister is developing her own life with the son and earn the money for family. From human side I see no hope!

But I believe that so long a person lives, their is hope that our heavenly father can change this person !!
Do not give up, it may takes time and the future is unshure, but still in our fathers hand! I pray for you too.
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Sorry, i post in the wrong post
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#31
#31
blue_ladybug said:
Not if they refuse his help, then no He doesn't..
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A false gospel is no gospel. And the gospel of trust-no-male is as bad a false gospel as it gets. I have to say the one where we control god through our want is about even with that though.
 
R

Rdb

Guest
#32
#32
wolfwint said:
Rdb, you got many good advises, and you are having a loving heart. It was a right step you did! For to show him that you love him, but can´t live with his addicts. In this way you have to protect your child and yourself. My brother in law is an alcohol addictet, since several years. He dont see it and if somebody even mentiones this he becomes very aggressive. He´s family is suffeering under this. My sister is supporting him for to keep peace. From outside its terrible to see. She feares if she will not longer support him, he will comit suicide. Both dont want help!! So my sister is developing her own life with the son and earn the money for family. From human side I see no hope!

But I believe that so long a person lives, their is hope that our heavenly father can change this person !!
Do not give up, it may takes time and the future is unshure, but still in our fathers hand! I pray for you too.
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Thank you!! I'm sorry for your sister. I know how hard of a decision it is to make.
 
miknik5

miknik5

Senior Member
#33
Jun 2, 2016
7,833
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#33
fetson said:
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Don't check it out people

make sure FIRST that this attachment is reliable

I have asked this person for more info regarding this attachment on two other threads. Therefore I do not believe this attachment is on topic to any of the threads which it was posted to


DO NOT OPEN IT
 
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wolfwint

wolfwint

Senior Member
#34
Feb 15, 2014
3,859
971
113
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#34
Rdb said:
Thank you!! I'm sorry for your sister. I know how hard of a decision it is to make.
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Yes, from outside it sounds everything so easy. But it is difficult. So we have to pray and trust!! and not give up!
The Lord bless you and your family!
 
R

Rdb

Guest
#35
#35
miknik5 said:
Don't check it out people

make sure FIRST that this attachment is reliable

I have asked this person for more info regarding this attachment on two other threads. Therefore I do not believe this attachment is on topic to any of the threads which it was posted to


DO NOT OPEN IT
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Oh ok thank you!!!
 
R

Rdb

Guest
#36
#36
wolfwint said:
Yes, from outside it sounds everything so easy. But it is difficult. So we have to pray and trust!! and not give up!
The Lord bless you and your family!
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I know what you mean. A desicion is always easier to make hen it's not your own. :) thank you for your kind words!!
 
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