Struggle with social anxiety and depression

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dwa567

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I suffer from social anxiety and major depression and it is very debilitating. It also doesn't help that it's hard to stop feeling alone. my few friends either are always busy or live far away. I try to get involved, especially at church, but nothing changes. I've tried meditating on verses, praying, and I don't feel anything when I go to church and can't connect with people despite going to retreats, volunteering, or Sunday school. I even tried the counseling center at my church and they were of no help. So I don't understand how to feel about God. I don't like going to church anymore and wouldn't if it wasn't for my mother. But she just always talks about my apathy for it and guilts me. I feel like I should be able to make my own choices as a full fledged adult. I mostly got baptized because of her. I go to an amazing church so I feel it's my fault. My sister on the other hand is the complete opposite: goes to a Christian College, gone on mission trips, interned at another church, is outgoing and has tons of friends. I know I'm not supposed to compare but I can't understand why my life is so boring and uneventful, despite countless efforts. Too many regrets and feelings of shame and embarrassment that I am not much to be remembered by. Ive tried to be tolerable of myself but I just hate myself so much it's too hard to live with. I wanted to apply to a graduate counseling program but I can't even help myself. I've tried medication, therapy is not too helpful and getting harder to afford. I've tried everything and I don't understand what I'm not doing right. It's affecting my job, friendships, relationships, professionally, like every way possible. I'm tired of being timid and nervous at 25.
 
You are certainly much to remember you by because God will neither leave you are forsake you. You are not alone in your suffering of anxiety and depression, many others suffer from this, myself included. I pray that this site becomes a source of comfort and understanding. Glad to have you as a member of our family. Fear not, says the Lord. Welcome to CC.
 
Take a long hard look in the mirror. You don't like what is staring back at you? Ok, fine. Change that. Picture what you do want to be and go for it. One change at a time. Too fat? Diet and exercise your butt off, until that goal is reached. Willpower is all it takes. Nervous around people? Start talking to people, even if its small conversations. Take a public speaking course. Want your life to matter before you die? Legacy you are worried about? Or just the fact that you have nothing to speak about you life when people ask you about it? Think about your dreams when you were a kid, and go pursue it. Die trying if you have to. Trust me , being scared of life is stupid. Embrace failure, embrace change, embrace fear, and most importantly embrace your mortality. No sense living til 100 when you haven't got jack to show for it. Go get em tiger.
 
Well thank you for the tough love lol I'll try to adopt that mentality, easier said than done tho. But thanks :)
 
dwa567 said:
I suffer from social anxiety and major depression and it is very debilitating. It also doesn't help that it's hard to stop feeling alone. my few friends either are always busy or live far away. I try to get involved, especially at church, but nothing changes. I've tried meditating on verses, praying, and I don't feel anything when I go to church and can't connect with people despite going to retreats, volunteering, or Sunday school. I even tried the counseling center at my church and they were of no help. So I don't understand how to feel about God. I don't like going to church anymore and wouldn't if it wasn't for my mother. But she just always talks about my apathy for it and guilts me. I feel like I should be able to make my own choices as a full fledged adult. I mostly got baptized because of her. I go to an amazing church so I feel it's my fault. My sister on the other hand is the complete opposite: goes to a Christian College, gone on mission trips, interned at another church, is outgoing and has tons of friends. I know I'm not supposed to compare but I can't understand why my life is so boring and uneventful, despite countless efforts. Too many regrets and feelings of shame and embarrassment that I am not much to be remembered by. Ive tried to be tolerable of myself but I just hate myself so much it's too hard to live with. I wanted to apply to a graduate counseling program but I can't even help myself. I've tried medication, therapy is not too helpful and getting harder to afford. I've tried everything and I don't understand what I'm not doing right. It's affecting my job, friendships, relationships, professionally, like every way possible. I'm tired of being timid and nervous at 25.
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These feelings are here for a reason and you must take a hard look into your life. Are there events that trigger the anxiety and depression. These events may be things you should avoid. Maybe you are into the wrong job, friends, relationships, or hobbies. You are who you are and no one else. The best kind of medicine you can take is to read Scripture every day and apply it to your life. God will provide the strength. Maybe your trying to medicate yourself into your idea of what normal looks like. Social anxiety is very hard to connect to others and this makes it hard to make friends. Sometimes we just have to force ourselves to do things that are social. In hopes that someone will be a friend. Obviously find things that you love to do and then find events or groups that do these things. Then you will feel more comfortable with people who share the same interest.
 
I am 25 yrs old and have the same problems...i still havent overcame the social anxiety etc...there is one thing incan tell you though...maybe you are different...and being different doesnt always mean a bad thing...now u just got to work on yourself which is what im currently doing...one thing im happy about tho is that i see people try to fit in and end up giving false friendships as well...i try not to be like those people...id rather be different than a fake...if you have a struggle then overcome it...but sooner or later you will have to come to grips with yourself...i cant give you further advice because im currently in the process...there is a book...a narcotics anonymous book which i have been reading for 5 days....and it really confronts me with reality...it ask deep questions...and i have found a few answers in that book to my unhappiness...it is based on god... the god of your understanding...my god is jesus crist god the father and holy spirit i would write more but i am on my phone and its about to turn off
 
You might not be a drug or alcohol user but u need god every single day of your life you need to connect with god...thats the key...everyday...no vacations when it comes to intimacy with god
 
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