getting ready to make a break for it i can not deal with the abuse anymore!!!!

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jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#1
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
33
48
#1
I am going to go a head and try to put a plan in motion to get away from my husband. I can not take the abuse anymore I get yelled at for the dumbest things all the time now and I am so over this. I need to get a plan together and get a place and do my schooling and take care of me. If anyone has suggestions or words of wisdom or what not please let me know. It will take me a few weeks up to a month maybe to get a plan together as I will not leave my dogs behind with him. So I need to make plans for them as well as myself. I am scared to death here but I rather be scared to death then keep living this way...
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#2
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
33
48
#2
I am praying for safety and courage as I put this plan into action. I am not in physical danger right now thank god so i have some time to plan but i am scared of the actual time when I do leave.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#3
Feb 21, 2014
70,951
9,701
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#3
Take his name off any joint accounts you have. Draw out as much money as you can without him finding out. Take all your checkbooks, credit cards, etc. with you. Find a pet-friendly hotel to stay at and register under a different name. Use money so he can't track your credit cards. Tell only a few people where you're going and swear them to secrecy.. Make sure you leave while he's NOT there with you. Otherwise he'll try and stop you. Keep your cell phone charged up, you'll need it. Turn it off until you get where you're going. He can probably track that too. And get a different vehicle if you can. He will be looking for yours..
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#4
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
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#4
blue_ladybug said:
Take his name off any joint accounts you have. Draw out as much money as you can without him finding out. Take all your checkbooks, credit cards, etc. with you. Find a pet-friendly hotel to stay at and register under a different name. Use money so he can't track your credit cards. Tell only a few people where you're going and swear them to secrecy.. Make sure you leave while he's NOT there with you. Otherwise he'll try and stop you. Keep your cell phone charged up, you'll need it. Turn it off until you get where you're going. He can probably track that too. And get a different vehicle if you can. He will be looking for yours..
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i have my daughter saving a car for me it needs a bit of work but it will run and do the job for now... I have fears I will cave like i always do but i really need to do this this time so please please just pray to God i do not cave in again..
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#5
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
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#5
he is very good at manipulating me also and making me feel bad etc.... so i need to be strong against that as well..
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#6
Mar 13, 2014
42,732
17,196
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70
Tennessee
#6
Your quality of life is scary also being subjected to abuse on a daily basis. I would proceed with putting a plan in motion. I have said a prayer for your situation. No one should live with an abusive spouse.
 
C

CeileDe

Guest
#7
#7
Yep get a divorce, that is the best biblical advice I can give. Divorce always solves the problem
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#8
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
33
48
#8
tourist said:
Your quality of life is scary also being subjected to abuse on a daily basis. I would proceed with putting a plan in motion. I have said a prayer for your situation. No one should live with an abusive spouse.
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Thank you that means a lot to me I think God is finally giving the green light to be free. Now i just need him to keep me strong and hold off my fears..
 
C

CeileDe

Guest
#9
#9
jenniferand2 said:
Thank you that means a lot to me I think God is finally giving the green light to be free. Now i just need him to keep me strong and hold off my fears..
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Yep God is all for divorce. He definitely told you to leave your husband.
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#10
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
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#10
CeileDe said:
Yep get a divorce, that is the best biblical advice I can give. Divorce always solves the problem
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is that sarcastic? Because he has also defiled me and cheated and has thrown things at me. has more then on time said he will bash my face in if i don't be quiet when he is angry. So yeah maybe divorce is not the best answer but i have tried all I can to get the situation to change and go better and it just gets worse so tell me what do i do??/
 
jenniferand2

jenniferand2

Senior Member
#11
Mar 19, 2016
1,433
33
48
#11
CeileDe said:
Yep God is all for divorce. He definitely told you to leave your husband.
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SO your saying that it is better i just hang around with some unstable person and just deal with being verbally abused everyday and have thing thrown at me at times and threats to my self and possibly have him become unhinged all together and kill me and that would be more godly....
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#12
#12
Holy Moses! If that's the case, you don't have time to plan for weeks. You should leave soon. Blue Lady shared some great advice.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#13
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
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Philippines Age 40
#13
When did all this abuse start? Maybe you should talk to him first or give him a chance to mend his ways. Maybe he thinks yelling at you is fine because you just let him. Taking off without trying to resolve things is impulsive. You might regret it someday.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#15
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
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Philippines Age 40
#15
jenniferand2 said:
is that sarcastic? Because he has also defiled me and cheated and has thrown things at me. has more then on time said he will bash my face in if i don't be quiet when he is angry. So yeah maybe divorce is not the best answer but i have tried all I can to get the situation to change and go better and it just gets worse so tell me what do i do??/
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But you said you are not in physical danger now and you did not mention this in your OP.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#16
Feb 21, 2014
70,951
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#16
It's been constant all throughout her marriage. If she stays any longer, she puts herself in more danger..


Tinkerbell725 said:
When did all this abuse start? Maybe you should talk to him first or give him a chance to mend his ways. Maybe he thinks yelling at you is fine because you just let him. Taking off without trying to resolve things is impulsive. You might regret it someday.
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C

CeileDe

Guest
#17
#17
jenniferand2 said:
SO your saying that it is better i just hang around with some unstable person and just deal with being verbally abused everyday and have thing thrown at me at times and threats to my self and possibly have him become unhinged all together and kill me and that would be more godly....
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Don't mind me. I'm pretty new here and don't know anything. I'm sure you have done your best, called the cops on him that sort of thing. I'm sorry but I don't jump on the band wagon and automatically agree with people because they say something. You want people to agree with you to make you feel better about your decision and of course you are getting it.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#18
#18
CeileDe said:
Don't mind me. I'm pretty new here and don't know anything. I'm sure you have done your best, called the cops on him that sort of thing. I'm sorry but I don't jump on the band wagon and automatically agree with people because they say something. You want people to agree with you to make you feel better about your decision and of course you are getting it.
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What is your problem? This women is in danger and you want to chastise her? This isn't about her trying to justify some sin or something. Good grief!
 
C

CeileDe

Guest
#19
#19
Tintin said:
What is your problem? This women is in danger and you want to chastise her? This isn't about her trying to justify some sin or something. Good grief!
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I'll bow out. Keep giving unbiblical advice.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#20
Feb 21, 2014
70,951
9,701
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#20
Ceile, give her a break. On another thread she made awhile back, she told us that the abuse has been constant in her marriage. Both physical abuse and mental abuse. I'm pretty sure God doesn't want her to stay and get the life beat out of her. When I left my ex, he flipped his gourd and tried to strangle me. I don't want that to happen to Jennifer or any other victim of abuse. Who knows, if she leaves, maybe that will be the shove this guy needs to get help for himself. God WILL bring something good out of this. He always does. :)
 
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