W
Many people have said bad things about me my WHOLE life, people even were saying that I'm evil and what if I am? what if I am evil.. every since I could remember I have always been a mean person to others. I look at other people and wish I were them. Every where I go, people just stop liking me. they will like me for only a moment, I think I have a true friend, then baam they just don't like me, some people have said I have a bad vibe, people said I am evil and have bad spirits on me, I'm always depressed, I can never seem to hold a smile anymore. Even the guy that I thought loved me doesn't even love me and he says I am evil too. When I'm angry I get this very evil temper and I get so mad, I don't know, I prayed God to forgive me and deliver me from getting this angry, I just feel like everyone else is better than me. I see no real reason for me to be alive. I try to left myself up and say I'm this or that but deep down I still feel the same, Now that I'm pregnant I wish my baby to be nothing like me. I don't even deserve to be a mother, if I can take it back I would. I rather be alone and try to fight on my own without getting in the way of others. I always pray that God will just take me away. but maybe God doesn't love me either, I question why I was born? My own mother didn't even want me, so in reality I have NO ONE, no friends, no family, no husband, a child, yes.. but for now he's all I have, I don't have no where else to go and I pray God provides me with shelter. At least that can help me get on my feet.