Soft Christians and dating.

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Ugly said:
Maybe. I've known a few people who made to their early 40s before getting married. Never had the chance before that.
But while it may feel bad not dating, the thing that's easy to forget is you're also missing a lot of heartache. I've had my heart broken so many times that last time i had decided to give up. I was crushed. To the point where it changed me internally. I wanted nothing to do with serious relationships ever again. Planned on dying old and alone. Then this recent woman came along. She was interested in me, but i resisted. But eventually she got past all that pain and the walls i was building and won me over. I'd probably be a very bitter person if it weren't for her. But that bitterness came from years of dating and heartbreak. It sucks being single, but it sucks more to be hurt so much you want to shut down emotionally and to have your personality altered from it all.
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I know what you mean. I'm already at the point where I've basically given up. If it takes any longer, I won't see the point in having children if I'm too old and tired. I'm not sure I want them anymore, just to make them go through this nonsense. I would feel like I had cursed them, maybe. I've already got ankle and shoulder arthritis. So I probably couldn't enjoy playing with them. I still live at home and my jobs up n down. So getting a house with a partner would be stupid unless God guided me. Having relations living at home is just wierd for me. So I don't see where god's plan is going hardly at all. Except growing me somehow. If I'm too old, I might not care for anyone to be with.
 
I think you confused being soft, with being timid.
It seems like you might have self confidence issues to work through.
How can a woman know you like her, unless you make your intentions known.
 
Littlemissprim said:
I think you confused being soft, with being timid.
It seems like you might have self confidence issues to work through.
How can a woman know you like her, unless you make your intentions known.
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Maybe your right, but I haven't been around any women for ages working in a male environment, with no friends except Sunday church. So on-line dating is the only poor option. But there's very few to message. Online I just don't even get any mail. Being timid doesn't apply there. So not much of a problem. Plus I'm on a dating site, they already know my intention.
 
Ugly said:
I'm a 41 year old, broke, with depression and various physical issues that prohibit me from getting around much. I live in my dads house, along with my older sister. I'm not outgoing, i'm somewhat shy at first. My look is not the kind that most women care for. Yet i'm talking with an amazing woman that knows all my problems and doesn't let that interfere. And i was dating another woman a year before that.
Because my situation kept getting worse, i began lowering my standards. Big regret. Raised them back up and i have met a woman that meets more of what i've looked for in a woman than any women i've ever known.
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Glad to hear things are looking up for you and going well. And now back to the regularly scheduled thread.
 
Dai3234 said:
Maybe your right, but I haven't been around any women for ages working in a male environment, with no friends except Sunday church. So on-line dating is the only poor option. But there's very few to message. Online I just don't even get any mail. Being timid doesn't apply there. So not much of a problem. Plus I'm on a dating site, they already know my intention.
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I don't get online dating at all....it's all a bit strange, and you don't know how "Christian" a Christian person is. Not just be a brief chat.
But I really pray you find someone. If it is God's will
 
I feel you. It is difficult to cope with "It'll happen for you someday" as year after year passes by without that hope.

I dove into dating last year and it ended so badly that even dipping my toes back in the dating pool again recently made me yank them back out.

I know I'd like to be married someday (I think), but I wish I could skip that whole dating part. :)
 
rachelsedge said:
I feel you. It is difficult to cope with "It'll happen for you someday" as year after year passes by without that hope.

I dove into dating last year and it ended so badly that even dipping my toes back in the dating pool again recently made me yank them back out.

I know I'd like to be married someday (I think), but I wish I could skip that whole dating part. :)
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Especially when many people have lost sight of the fact that dating is supposed to lead to marriage. Can't even make that assumption anymore.
 
rachelsedge said:
I feel you. It is difficult to cope with "It'll happen for you someday" as year after year passes by without that hope.

I dove into dating last year and it ended so badly that even dipping my toes back in the dating pool again recently made me yank them back out.

I know I'd like to be married someday (I think), but I wish I could skip that whole dating part. :)
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**** thank God every day for the husband He has for you---- He does care...
 
88 said:
**** thank God every day for the husband He has for you---- He does care...
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How do you know this though?

A lot of people tell me it'll happen, but really only God knows, and it's not guaranteed. Just because I desire it doesn't mean it will happen...
 
rachelsedge said:
How do you know this though?

A lot of people tell me it'll happen, but really only God knows, and it's not guaranteed. Just because I desire it doesn't mean it will happen...
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No it doesn't. Some people have the false impression that God will just drop mr perfect or ms perfect in our lap. Wish it was that easy...as Christians our standards should be exceedingly high. As far as the dating scene , yeah it's rough out there. Like I told the guy above , don't ever settle just because you haven't found the one yet...keep looking even if it takes a lifetime. If that's not enough, well who cares you're in heaven then. ??????
 
Wild said:
No it doesn't. Some people have the false impression that God will just drop mr perfect or ms perfect in our lap. Wish it was that easy...as Christians our standards should be exceedingly high. As far as the dating scene , yeah it's rough out there. Like I told the guy above , don't ever settle just because you haven't found the one yet...keep looking even if it takes a lifetime. If that's not enough, well who cares you're in heaven then. ������
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True, as the plan God has for us, may not include a partner. As it's his plan.
 
rachelsedge said:
How do you know this though?

A lot of people tell me it'll happen, but really only God knows, and it's not guaranteed. Just because I desire it doesn't mean it will happen...
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Thank you for stating this. A lot of people fail to understand this.
 
i think you're either on the shy side or somewhere inside, you're still not ready to date.
 
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