I'm feeling particularly lonely tonight. And I have to be honest that it has nothing to do with Valentine's day. Even when I was in my last relationship, my then boyfriend never once got me anything or made any gestures. So, I'm used to spending the day alone and really am not stressing about it...
I'm at a weird spot in my life. I moved to a new city less than a year ago b/c of my job (which i love). But, my community is filled with people 55 plus. It's a wealthy suburb where if people aren't old, then they're younger and married with kids. I don't drink, smoke, and I don't do clubs. My days are filled with crazy work shifts. When I'm off, I just sit at home. I don't have any close friends except one person (she's married with 2 very young kids). I feel a disconnect from my would be church home b/c every sermon focuses on families. I feel left out.
I'm struggling to wonder what the Lord would have me do next with my life. I feel lost. I want a Christ-centered husband and children. I want close friends. Yet, I feel lost in this wilderness. I wonder why I'm here at all..
I could move anywhere and can move back down to FL to be closer to my family...But I don't feel at peace with doing that. yet, the loneliness is audible...it's a struggle.