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Made a cheesecake fruit pizza for my work potluck tomorrow. It's my grandma's recipe. I'm kind of proud of it. I think I'm mainly proud at how fairly evenly I cut the slices, which you can't really tell, but usually I am AWFUL at cutting things evenly - brownies, pizza, casseroles... which is kind of strange considering how much I eyeball things like measuring for cooking, painting and mixing colors, etc.
Behold the masterpiece.
Behold the masterpiece.
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My son who is 19 told me to prepare myself because his friend (who has become a member of our family, calls me his 2nd mom etc) has something to tell me and he was very nervous. Well he came over last night to talk. His GF is pregnant.
He is a year younger than my son, a senior in HS, is intellectually gifted and earned and scholarship to a great university next year, and was very active in his church but over past 8 months has allowed his part time job to interfere with church (I have talked to him about this)
He was worried I would be dissappointed in him. All I could think to do was hug him and say that my love for him doesn't change or diminish during times when I fear for him, or am disappointed in his choices etc..
I didn't know what to say to him as it wasn't the time to have lengthy discussions but I was blind sided and it was very late. Now I am still at a loss and overwhelmed with what God would have me do with this.
He decided to not accept the scholarship and attend a local university. He said they were not going to get married and move in together. He is going to work more hours immediately even while going to school....so many choices ..
Praying for wisdom on how to counsel, witness, and support this young man who is like a son to me.
He is a year younger than my son, a senior in HS, is intellectually gifted and earned and scholarship to a great university next year, and was very active in his church but over past 8 months has allowed his part time job to interfere with church (I have talked to him about this)
He was worried I would be dissappointed in him. All I could think to do was hug him and say that my love for him doesn't change or diminish during times when I fear for him, or am disappointed in his choices etc..
I didn't know what to say to him as it wasn't the time to have lengthy discussions but I was blind sided and it was very late. Now I am still at a loss and overwhelmed with what God would have me do with this.
He decided to not accept the scholarship and attend a local university. He said they were not going to get married and move in together. He is going to work more hours immediately even while going to school....so many choices ..
Praying for wisdom on how to counsel, witness, and support this young man who is like a son to me.
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I can't offer a lot of advice, besides to maybe discourage talking to him about the "consequences" or "wrongness" of his actions. Here's the thing - He already knows, and besides the life changes he has to make, I guarantee he feels guilty and ashamed about it.
My cousin got pregnant out of wedlock last year (to the guy she had been dating for a long time and they were going to get married anyway, but...still obviously not the best decision as they weren't planning for it) and my grandma lost it. Shunned my cousin, said nasty things (that were apparently in the "right spirit to try and get her to come back to the Lord" but let me tell you, they were not). Now that the baby is here they are doing better and the relationship has gotten better, but there is residual bitterness I am sure.
In my opinion, what's done is done. You can't undo the fact that they got pregnant out of wedlock, so to me there is no use beating the dead horse of what has already happened. You can only go forward. Hopefully that makes sense, I don't mean it to sound harsh and it doesn't seem like that is what you were going to
Just wanted to share a personal experience of how if the past is focused on, it causes a rift in the present relationship. I mean, address it if you must, but certainly do not dwell on it.
My cousin got pregnant out of wedlock last year (to the guy she had been dating for a long time and they were going to get married anyway, but...still obviously not the best decision as they weren't planning for it) and my grandma lost it. Shunned my cousin, said nasty things (that were apparently in the "right spirit to try and get her to come back to the Lord" but let me tell you, they were not). Now that the baby is here they are doing better and the relationship has gotten better, but there is residual bitterness I am sure.
In my opinion, what's done is done. You can't undo the fact that they got pregnant out of wedlock, so to me there is no use beating the dead horse of what has already happened. You can only go forward. Hopefully that makes sense, I don't mean it to sound harsh and it doesn't seem like that is what you were going to
Just wanted to share a personal experience of how if the past is focused on, it causes a rift in the present relationship. I mean, address it if you must, but certainly do not dwell on it.
I can't offer a lot of advice, besides to maybe discourage talking to him about the "consequences" or "wrongness" of his actions. Here's the thing - He already knows, and besides the life changes he has to make, I guarantee he feels guilty and ashamed about it.
My cousin got pregnant out of wedlock last year (to the guy she had been dating for a long time and they were going to get married anyway, but...still obviously not the best decision as they weren't planning for it) and my grandma lost it. Shunned my cousin, said nasty things (that were apparently in the "right spirit to try and get her to come back to the Lord" but let me tell you, they were not). Now that the baby is here they are doing better and the relationship has gotten better, but there is residual bitterness I am sure.
In my opinion, what's done is done. You can't undo the fact that they got pregnant out of wedlock, so to me there is no use beating the dead horse of what has already happened. You can only go forward. Hopefully that makes sense, I don't mean it to sound harsh and it doesn't seem like that is what you were going to Just wanted to share a personal experience of how if the past is focused on, it causes a rift in the present relationship. I mean, address it if you must, but certainly do not dwell on it.
My cousin got pregnant out of wedlock last year (to the guy she had been dating for a long time and they were going to get married anyway, but...still obviously not the best decision as they weren't planning for it) and my grandma lost it. Shunned my cousin, said nasty things (that were apparently in the "right spirit to try and get her to come back to the Lord" but let me tell you, they were not). Now that the baby is here they are doing better and the relationship has gotten better, but there is residual bitterness I am sure.
In my opinion, what's done is done. You can't undo the fact that they got pregnant out of wedlock, so to me there is no use beating the dead horse of what has already happened. You can only go forward. Hopefully that makes sense, I don't mean it to sound harsh and it doesn't seem like that is what you were going to
Just wanted to share a personal experience of how if the past is focused on, it causes a rift in the present relationship. I mean, address it if you must, but certainly do not dwell on it.
You're correct that I never would consider that.
My prayers remain for God to provide an opportunity and then provide me wisdom on how to speak His truth and grace in love. This young man's mother is an atheist and his father is reportedly no longer active in their church.
At this time, to the best of my knowledge this young man has no one offer him any christian counsel or guidance. I do not feel equipped but I love him as my own son and therefore pray God will use me or someone else to remind him of Gods grace and mercy.
Thank you again Rachel for taking the time.
Finally took some pics The first one is a panoramic so I could fit the whole thing in there, but then it distorts the size, hence the second picture (to show more of the size). I apologize for the terrible quality. This took me 9 hours a couple weekends ago, free-handed it all and mixed the colors myself (besides the darkest color).
I actually did another mural today in my guest room. I'll post that one tomorrow when it's all done and dried.
The first one is a panoramic so I could fit the whole thing in there, but then it distorts the size, hence the second picture (to show more of the size). I apologize for the terrible quality. This took me 9 hours a couple weekends ago, free-handed it all and mixed the colors myself (besides the darkest color). I actually did another mural today in my guest room. I'll post that one tomorrow when it's all done and dried.