My marriage needs prayer.

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M

Mheart

Guest
#22
#22
Angela53510 said:
Did he give a reason for leaving you? Maybe you both can make adjustments in marriage counselling and save your marriage.

I've been married 37 years. My husband and I fell totally in love in the beginning. Then life intruded, we got distracted and things got bad. And on more than one occasion, although we were both faithful to each other. We even separated once for 8 months. He was determined to make a go of it on his own. He discovered that he didn't want to make a go of life without me, and we reconciled, and have not had a major problem since. (Although some small problems, here and there!)

A friend at our new church asked me how long we had been married. I told him, and said we had been through some really hard times together, he replied that he and his wife had too! In fact, I think a lot of long time married couples also have been through some hard times. So bad, that they didn't think the marriage would last.

This is just to tell you, that no marriage, or person is perfect. It is strange to me that two people who love each other would just diverge apart. But, like I said, many do come back together. It is our society, that teaches us that divorce is ok, and nothing wrong with moving on. Being faithful is not just about being "in love." It is about our commitment to Christ, and our loyalty and forgiveness towards our spouse.

But God wants to use these difficult times of life to change us. How can you change for God's glory through this situation? What can you do to be a better follower of Jesus? That is the most important question to ask. And God will use it for good, and perhaps it will make your marriage stronger in the long run.

Praying that God will restore your marriage and your husband, but this time will also bring you closer to God.
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During the eight months he was gone, did you guys see each other and go to counselling?
 
M

Mheart

Guest
#23
#23
I want to thank everyone for their encouragement for me. My husband came home this morning saying he wanted to not only do marriage counseling but he was going to ask for help for himself.

This is a huge step and I'm just "being still and waiting on the Lord" but I can breathe again.

He said he went up to the mountains and parked.

Through all our struggles he has never been willing to get counseling.

Thank you thank you Jesus.
 
S

Sac555

Junior Member
#24
Nov 30, 2016
16
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#24
I hope the marriage counseling session will start some truth in his heart. He is obviously not wanting to follow God at this time, but that doesn't mean he won't see the Truth and change his heart sometime. If you want any other advice you could call 855-382-5433 for some counseling from Focus on the Family. Does your church have a support group for marriage help? Keep focused on Him for your peace and leading. Praying for you....and for your marriage to someday be a testimony to help others.
 
M

Mheart

Guest
#25
#25
Sac555 said:
I hope the marriage counseling session will start some truth in his heart. He is obviously not wanting to follow God at this time, but that doesn't mean he won't see the Truth and change his heart sometime. If you want any other advice you could call 855-382-5433 for some counseling from Focus on the Family. Does your church have a support group for marriage help? Keep focused on Him for your peace and leading. Praying for you....and for your marriage to someday be a testimony to help others.
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Thank you.
Yes our church does.
And he asked if I would go with him to it this morning.
I didn't even think about the focus on the family resource.
My hurt was super overflowing the last couple days.
I'm so thankful for my church family. Not only are they loving on me but they are reaching out to him.
God knew I would desperately need the relationships that we started building several years ago.
 
C

Cindy12

Senior Member
#26
Jan 5, 2015
243
11
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#26
I'm praying for you and your marriage. I don't think your husband never loved you like he said - I think he is struggling with something else and is using that as an excuse. It sounds like when he said he was going to use the counseling and help for himself, he is aware that something is going on inside of him that he needs help for. God can heal anything. Keep praying and let Jesus guide you through this trial. Blessings!!
 
M

Mheart

Guest
#27
#27
Cindy12 said:
I'm praying for you and your marriage. I don't think your husband never loved you like he said - I think he is struggling with something else and is using that as an excuse. It sounds like when he said he was going to use the counseling and help for himself, he is aware that something is going on inside of him that he needs help for. God can heal anything. Keep praying and let Jesus guide you through this trial. Blessings!!
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Thank you. It's so tough right now.
I decided to fast and pray for healing. There is nothing else I can do.
 
D

ddilda

Guest
#28
#28
Even though we are Christians we tend to fail in one thing and that is to give our weaknesses to our Lord. In a marriage there is always conflict and for many married men and women they hold resentment. On many occasion they won't even want to admit this to their spouse. But once bitterness sets in their soul it is like a black cloud that won't allowed the Spirit of God to enter to make changes for the better. You must ask yourself if any of this sounds to familiar regarding the constant conflict at your home before attending church services. Then if you can attest to this then the rest is easy to understand.
 
D

ddilda

Guest
#29
#29
I just finished hearing of some lady's testimony on how her husband left her and how God restored that marriage 6 yrs. later. God told her to surrender it All to Him. That is her life, her family, her home, her husband, her situation, etc. And she did just that. Throughout this time God had to mold her to the way He wanted for her. At the same time He was working on her husband whereas at the end her husband was preaching to inmates and the jail cell where he served for those 6 yrs. Soon he will be coming out of jail and both him and her shall continue their ministry in preaching to the loss.
YOu'll have to earnestly seek the Lord to find out what is it that he wants from you. If there is still hope for reconciliation God will let you know ahead of time. Continue to surrender and see where He will take you with this. God bless
 
M

Mheart

Guest
#30
#30
ddilda said:
Even though we are Christians we tend to fail in one thing and that is to give our weaknesses to our Lord. In a marriage there is always conflict and for many married men and women they hold resentment. On many occasion they won't even want to admit this to their spouse. But once bitterness sets in their soul it is like a black cloud that won't allowed the Spirit of God to enter to make changes for the better. You must ask yourself if any of this sounds to familiar regarding the constant conflict at your home before attending church services. Then if you can attest to this then the rest is easy to understand.
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The sad part is there wasn't much conflict in the last few years and we learned to work through stuff. We were serving together, tithing together and out of nowhere he wants a divorce, he never loved me and doesn't care if he goes to hell.

I'm completely blown away. I have felt so blessed to have a Godly husband and have gotten comfortable in trusting him and letting him be the head of our home.

The couple married ladies whom I have confided in just can't believe it.

We were even working towards a marriage ministry designed to mentor young couples.
 
M

Mheart

Guest
#31
#31
ddilda said:
I just finished hearing of some lady's testimony on how her husband left her and how God restored that marriage 6 yrs. later. God told her to surrender it All to Him. That is her life, her family, her home, her husband, her situation, etc. And she did just that. Throughout this time God had to mold her to the way He wanted for her. At the same time He was working on her husband whereas at the end her husband was preaching to inmates and the jail cell where he served for those 6 yrs. Soon he will be coming out of jail and both him and her shall continue their ministry in preaching to the loss.
YOu'll have to earnestly seek the Lord to find out what is it that he wants from you. If there is still hope for reconciliation God will let you know ahead of time. Continue to surrender and see where He will take you with this. God bless
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Thank you and you are right but I'm struggling as to if I'm strong enough to hang on through this.
Gods got this, I just don't know about me.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#32
Jan 24, 2011
11,786
2,958
113
#32
Mheart said:
During the eight months he was gone, did you guys see each other and go to counselling?
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I completely cut off contact with him, and I went to counselling. He went to the gym! Seriously, he thought he would find a better woman there, but no one would talk to him! God is always in control.

So go for counseling for yourself, besides the marriage counselling. Find yourself, and you will be more desirable to him, and of course, again, use this as a time to get closer to God!
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#33
Jan 24, 2011
11,786
2,958
113
#33
I was also thinking, he may be mad at God, and he is taking it out on you! Just that comment about not caring if he went to hell. That sounds like being angry with God.
 
S

Sac555

Junior Member
#34
Nov 30, 2016
16
0
0
#34
Mheart said:
Thank you.
Yes our church does.
And he asked if I would go with him to it this morning.
I didn't even think about the focus on the family resource.
My hurt was super overflowing the last couple days.
I'm so thankful for my church family. Not only are they loving on me but they are reaching out to him.
God knew I would desperately need the relationships that we started building several years ago.
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So glad you have a church family. So important to get help and encouragement from others that believe in marriage and that's it's worth fighting for! Praying for you and your marriage!!!!!!
 
M

Mheart

Guest
#35
#35
Sac555 said:
So glad you have a church family. So important to get help and encouragement from others that believe in marriage and that's it's worth fighting for! Praying for you and your marriage!!!!!!
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We have a counseling session today.

I'm praying so big.
 
Bigbromarsh

Bigbromarsh

Member
#36
Feb 7, 2017
80
1
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45
#36
What God has brought together let nothing separate!!! That's my pray over your house hold. We have an enemy that steels, kills, and destroys! Keep fighting!! So sorry you have to go through this junk! Keep your head up and keep moving forward. Blessings sis
 
M

Mheart

Guest
#37
#37
Bigbromarsh said:
What God has brought together let nothing separate!!! That's my pray over your house hold. We have an enemy that steels, kills, and destroys! Keep fighting!! So sorry you have to go through this junk! Keep your head up and keep moving forward. Blessings sis
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Thank you.
It's been a month now. I'm calming and doing a little better at being still and waiting on the Lord.
Still a really tough time.
 
T

thisgirl

Senior Member
#38
Mar 2, 2015
153
5
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#38
Ive seen the Lord restore some pretty bad situations! Praying the Lord softens his heart and as for you, be unavailable for a set period of time. Hold yourself to it dont beg him. Read love must be tough (dobson). Oh and huge hugs.

Im not kidding let him think his leaving was the best thing that ever happened to you. I'm sorry you are going through this. hugs
 
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