have a gut feeling we shouldn't date, but honestly I'm not rlly living my faith anyway. I read my Bible sometimes and pray, but I still sleep with my boyfriend and am don't rlly go to church anymore.
Oh... i get it. Since you aren't living right now, instead of changing that and getting close to God again you'll move forward with something that you know, deep down, is a bad idea. That way you'll be one of the many, many people who did things their way. And then blame God when it goes wrong.
I have dated five months and haven't told them anything.
Deception and dishonesty. What a great way to start a relationship. You snuck behind your family's back for fear they won't approve. How much more will they disapprove of his going along with you deceiving them? You have actually made it worse for him.
I don't rlly think it's a big deal to date him, but when I think long term about raising kids,
First you say it doesn't matter if you date him because you aren't really engaged in your faith, next you're worried about not having the same faith in marriage and raising kids. If you are so disinterested in your own faith what difference does his faith, or lack of, make to you? Are you going to raise your kids to believe something you don't even follow yourself?
I am honestly happy with him until I am alone and start to question things.
So... maybe you aren't as happy as you want to tell yourself? Lying to oneself is very easy. And sleeping with someone makes it even more difficult to breakup with them.
Also, if we break up I refuse to tell him his beliefs aren't good enough for me, I hate christians that don't accept others and love others for where they r at.
This reflects your own lack of understanding of the faith you are not following. Not dating/marrying someone that is not Christian does not mean you don't love or accept them. It means you are wise enough to know not to put yourself into an ungodly situation.
Also it's not a matter of beliefs being 'good enough'. It's a matter that you believe the God of the bible is the one and only source for truth and life. Therefore anyone else who does not believe that is not under God's grace and forgiveness. And since God says 'you are either for me or against me' those people are living against the very God one follows.
I also am not interested in making him go to church because I don't even rlly want to and I want him to come to Jesus because Jesus finds him, not because I force someone.
Well this is 'missionary dating' and is not biblical. So you got one thing right so far.
And you can't 'force' anyone to Jesus. You only pressure people into lying to you that they found Jesus. Huge difference.
The hardest part for me is even if I "follow the rules" and break up
Obeying God is not about 'following the rules'. It is about a Desire to live for God. Not out of obligation but because God means that much to you. If you are just 'following the rules' then you are not truly living for, or seeking, God. You are being fake and religious and God knows the difference.
it's not like someone super on fire is going to want to date me and
You are still dating this guy and already thinking about who you would date next?
I can't handle the intense christians that don't accept anything else, I was raised by them and it has only brought me guilt and stress and a life of hiding mistakes.
That is not a true Christian life. That is religion. God is the one that embraces people for their mistakes and works things together for them. Read the bible. The bible is full of liars, murderers, prostitutes, cheaters, thieves and more. And many of those Are following God. But they made mistakes and God loved and used them anyways.
Guilt is a tool of the devil. The devil is behind religious people, not God. In fact Jesus often went head to head against religious people.
But there is a difference between religious, that is people that don't truly know God, or have a wrong understanding of Him, that use God as a way of control and to create a list of rules.
Then there is following God. This entails knowing right and wrong and striving, out of a desire to do right, to live in a way that is pleasing to Him.
Religious people use God to control others.
God frees people.
Can anyone help me? I don't want to break this guy's heart.
Not possible. If you are ever going to enter into a romantic relationship with Anyone there is an extremely high risk that you, or they, or both, will end up broken hearted. And the younger you are the higher the likelihood. Romance is risk. Period. There is no way around it. No safe version.
It sounds to me like you were possibly raised in a religious family and don't Truly know God on a personal level. This is not your fault, but rather the circumstances you were raised in. I would encourage you to bypass the religious views you have been taught and look into the bible to find a more accurate portrayal of who God is.
God is not a giant boot in the sky waiting to kick you for messing up. God is a God of many things, sometimes, yes, wrath and anger. But also one that, above all else, wants to give mercy and forgiveness... to those who seek it. And He wants ALL to seek it.
Freedom in God means so much more than you seem to grasp. Yes, there are ways we are to live. No, it's not always easy to live those ways. But neither are we to feel beat up or that our worth is any less when we fail. That's what grace is. God seeing us screw up and forgiving us, if we are truly seeking to follow Him.
Hope this helps.
