Boyfriend leaving me because of my daughter

Mommyof2 · Mar 4, 2017

I'm just in need of prayers I guess. I had a baby girl 2 and a half years ago. I was a single mommy. One month after having her, I met this amazing guy. He was so good to me and her. He stepped in as the dad to her that she didn't have. He also had three daughters. I loved the two oldest so much, but the youngest gave me so many problems (kicking and pinching my baby, stealing from me, etc.). We fought about this issue so many times because he would never do anything about it. He would just let her steal and do whatever she wanted. Well as my daughter got older, he started getting more and more bitter to her, telling me I should spank her for the dumbest things. I prayed for this man at least 20 times a day. I really felt like god was leading me to be here. Every fight we had, I would pray to god that if this is where you want me to be, lead us to reconcile but if you want me to go, provide the way. We always worked it out and anytime I even tried to leave, every single person would so no you can't come stay here. So obviously I took it as my sign I was right where I needed to be. Well two mornings ago he came in the room as soon as I woke up and just said this isn't a good relationship. He wouldn't give me any good reason, I asked if it was because of me and his daughter and he said no, that's not my fault. He said I've been great lately. I am stuck here right now because none of my family will take me, my daughter, and our son we had together in. He hasn't spoken a single word to me in a few days. He won't even eat the food I cook. I even covered him up on the couch just for him to throw the blanket off...I know this seems like minor things, but those little things are what tells. E if we have a future or not. I know that him being like that means he's done, he just wants me to go. After my daughter woke up especially fussy the past few days from being sick, I finally realized what it was all about. I will choose my children any day, but that doesn't mean that this doesn't hurt. I guess a part of me is just so hurt because I truly felt like god was leading me here. And if he didn't want me here, I don't understand why he has taken away any opportunity for me to leave...someone slammed into my car so no car, no other home to go to, no job since we had decided for me to stay home with the kids...sorry for such a long story and if you made it this far, thank you for even reading this. Just please pray for us. That God will show us where he wants us and that I will no longer feel such pain in this.

blue_ladybug · Mar 4, 2017

WOW, you've really found yourself in a pickle, haven't you? The guy obviously doesn't love you, or your daughter. And why on earth have you allowed his daughter to kick and pinch your baby? She (his daughter) would get a swift kick in the ascot if she laid a hand on MY baby, along with a hard slap on her face. I would DEMAND that she leave and not come back. :/ Sounds like this guy is whipped by his daughter and lets her run wild.

You and your kids deserve better than a guy like this. Take them and go to a women's shelter. God wants you out of this relationship because it is unhealthy for all involved. Not to mention the living together before marriage and premarital sex part of it. :/ And speaking of that, for the love of God, DON'T marry this turkey!! Get out now before it gets worse.

notuptome · Mar 4, 2017

Ok you need to address your relationship with Jesus. You need to have your man get involved in the Spiritual aspects of your relationship or you will never have any possibility of a prosperous relationship.

Measuring things based on how you feel or what you perceive to be outcomes that you may interpret to be of God is not how one finds the determinate will of God for themselves. You need to read and pray over your bible to seek what God wants and how to serve Him first that you and your family will be blessed.

I do not have a nice way to say this but why do you expect God to bless a situation that is described as sin in the bible? To cohabit without the benefit of clergy (unmarried) is not Gods prescribed plan.

If no church is willing to help you then you may need to turn to state agencies for assistance.

For the cause of Christ
Roger

sojames · Mar 4, 2017

no peace its time for him to go

Ugly · Mar 4, 2017

I had a friend get pregnant before marriage. She plans to move out of state before this. She had zero interest in marrying this guy. Everyone told her 'marry him, you'll grow to love him. She did. He became a verbally abusive alcoholic, mistreated their children and ruined her credit. He is now not much more than a stumbling drunk that is unable to work and they have been separated 20 years. Sometimesetting others dictate things for us is not a sign, but a reflection on the people.

Dino246 · Mar 4, 2017

Hello Mommyof2, and welcome to CC!

Sad to hear of your situation... I can't relate, but I can tell you that Jesus loves you and your children. Trust in Him, and He will care for you. As others have already said, it's probably best to get out of this situation as soon as possible.

One suggestion: most people will find your posts much easier to read if you break them into paragraphs no longer than about 5-6 lines, with a space in between.

Willie-T · Mar 4, 2017

This thread SHOULD have read: Leaving my Boyfriend because of my daughter!

Have you no self-respect nor maternal instincts?

BillG · Mar 4, 2017

Mommyof2 said:

I am having trouble trying to understand why you feel that God has led you into a relationship that to be honest has developed into something that is clearly sinful. Maybe he did lead you into this relationship but you and your boyfriend have taken it beyond the boundary that God has placed when it comes to sex and marriage.

I am assuming you are not married as you refer to him as your boyfriend.

You do not mention whether your boyfriend is a Christian or not but you come accross as a believer. That being the case you should no that when the relationship developed beyond the boundary then it was time to step back and think "Is this what God really wants?

I am not judging you, please don't think I am. I know myself only too well. I am just pointing out what I think is obvious and I am open to being told otherwise.

Anyway you are where you are and it's sad to know that you are in pain and hurting.

I just want you to know there is hope.

God promises to work good in things. I am not saying that he promises to make the bad things good but in all things he works good for those who love him.

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

And in fact in verse 29 he does this to conform us to the image of Christ.

So there is hope in your situation, God can work good in your situation.
Come before him ask him to seek your heart and reveal to you anything you need to repent off.

Also know that he promises to meet our needs. He is not a liar.

As I said I am not judging you, please don't think I am. As I said I know myself only too well.

God is for you and not against you.

Finally know

John 17:23
I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and
have loved them even as you have loved me.

88 · Mar 4, 2017

Mommyof2 said:

I'm just in need of prayers I guess. I had a baby girl 2 and a half years ago. I was a single mommy. One month after having her, I met this amazing guy. He was so good to me and her. He stepped in as the dad to her that she didn't have. He also had three daughters. I loved the two oldest so much, but the youngest gave me so many problems (kicking and pinching my baby, stealing from me, etc.). We fought about this issue so many times because he would never do anything about it. He would just let her steal and do whatever she wanted. Well as my daughter got older, he started getting more and more bitter to her, telling me I should spank her for the dumbest things. I prayed for this man at least 20 times a day. I really felt like god was leading me to be here. Every fight we had, I would pray to god that if this is where you want me to be, lead us to reconcile but if you want me to go, provide the way. We always worked it out and anytime I even tried to leave, every single person would so no you can't come stay here. So obviously I took it as my sign I was right where I needed to be. Well two mornings ago he came in the room as soon as I woke up and just said this isn't a good relationship. He wouldn't give me any good reason, I asked if it was because of me and his daughter and he said no, that's not my fault. He said I've been great lately. I am stuck here right now because none of my family will take me, my daughter, and our son we had together in. He hasn't spoken a single word to me in a few days. He won't even eat the food I cook. I even covered him up on the couch just for him to throw the blanket off...I know this seems like minor things, but those little things are what tells. E if we have a future or not. I know that him being like that means he's done, he just wants me to go. After my daughter woke up especially fussy the past few days from being sick, I finally realized what it was all about. I will choose my children any day, but that doesn't mean that this doesn't hurt. I guess a part of me is just so hurt because I truly felt like god was leading me here. And if he didn't want me here, I don't understand why he has taken away any opportunity for me to leave...someone slammed into my car so no car, no other home to go to, no job since we had decided for me to stay home with the kids...sorry for such a long story and if you made it this far, thank you for even reading this. Just please pray for us. That God will show us where he wants us and that I will no longer feel such pain in this.

****hi from Texas---(praying)----according to your profile you are not married and if you are living with this man this would be wrong---you cannot always think God is leading you when things are going wrong and things are being done wrong---believe me I have been there and sometimes we have to realize the truth wake up and change directions----I don't know the whole situation, but I would think you need God to redirect your life at this time---you are in a tough spot but God can take you out step by step...

Depleted · Mar 4, 2017

Mommyof2 said:

I'm just in need of prayers I guess. I had a baby girl 2 and a half years ago. I was a single mommy. One month after having her, I met this amazing guy. He was so good to me and her. He stepped in as the dad to her that she didn't have. He also had three daughters. I loved the two oldest so much, but the youngest gave me so many problems (kicking and pinching my baby, stealing from me, etc.). We fought about this issue so many times because he would never do anything about it. He would just let her steal and do whatever she wanted. Well as my daughter got older, he started getting more and more bitter to her, telling me I should spank her for the dumbest things. I prayed for this man at least 20 times a day. I really felt like god was leading me to be here. Every fight we had, I would pray to god that if this is where you want me to be, lead us to reconcile but if you want me to go, provide the way. We always worked it out and anytime I even tried to leave, every single person would so no you can't come stay here. So obviously I took it as my sign I was right where I needed to be. Well two mornings ago he came in the room as soon as I woke up and just said this isn't a good relationship. He wouldn't give me any good reason, I asked if it was because of me and his daughter and he said no, that's not my fault. He said I've been great lately. I am stuck here right now because none of my family will take me, my daughter, and our son we had together in. He hasn't spoken a single word to me in a few days. He won't even eat the food I cook. I even covered him up on the couch just for him to throw the blanket off...I know this seems like minor things, but those little things are what tells. E if we have a future or not. I know that him being like that means he's done, he just wants me to go. After my daughter woke up especially fussy the past few days from being sick, I finally realized what it was all about. I will choose my children any day, but that doesn't mean that this doesn't hurt. I guess a part of me is just so hurt because I truly felt like god was leading me here. And if he didn't want me here, I don't understand why he has taken away any opportunity for me to leave...someone slammed into my car so no car, no other home to go to, no job since we had decided for me to stay home with the kids...sorry for such a long story and if you made it this far, thank you for even reading this. Just please pray for us. That God will show us where he wants us and that I will no longer feel such pain in this.

Are you married to him?

Judging from the title and the story, you're not. And yet, you didn't see this as a sign from God long ago that this relationship is a problem?

There really is a big section of the Bible devoted to marriage. How can you keep asking God for signs when you won't take his words as truth?

tourist · Mar 4, 2017

I would follow Lady Blue's and 88's wise counsel. Sorry you are in such a mess. I pray that God gives you clarity of though and guides your path out of this bad situation for your sake as well as your children. Hopefully, you will find comfort, support and understanding on this site. Glad to have you join us. Welcome to CC.

Ariel82 · Mar 4, 2017

Wait I am confused...

How old is his youngest daughter when your daughter was born two years ago?

How old is your son who you had with your boyfriend?

***

Personally if I wrote that post, I would kick my own butt and tell myself to get a job, get help from the government for housing and childcare after moving out.

Stop making excuses and expecting everyone else to fix my life. Take responsibility that I was a sinner for having fornicated with at least two men I was not married to.

Fall on my knees and ask God to forgive me going my own way and blaming Him for my life when I have chosen to live in sin with a man I am not married to so i dont have to work.

Ask God and the little girl and her dad for forgiveness for blaming her and him for my lack of ability to discipline a small child and protect my own baby. He should have to "do something."

You should be a mom to his three daughters and your daughter and son also.

What kind of things has this small child "stolen"?

You are the adult. Couldn't you lock it up somewhere if it's valuable?

Anyway, I would move out even if it's to a tent in the backyard of my mom's. File for child support for your son, find a job and childcare.

If you need help, contact a domestic abuse shelter and ask them for contacts to homeless shelters, low income housing, job placement/training, etc.

It's not hopeless. However, you have to admit your weaknesses and wrongs and ask God for help and forgiveness.

He can make you strong and able to become the person He wants you to be: a woman able to raise your two beautiful children.

dalyn · Mar 6, 2017

I cant believe I am reading what I am reading now, as it is always my question, it is hard to put yourself right and make decisions specially when it concerns family. I know for a fact, I am also very important, because if I dont feel important, struggles comes in, there'll be sadness, anxiety, wasted time etc. So, making decision is very hard. To have a partner, you feel complete, somehow, than being all by yourself, a part that justifies to make you decides to stay in a relationship, because you are weak, so I guess what you'll need to do is be around a surrounding that will strengthen you. Am I right that you mentioned you have a kid together too, so with or without marriage you are still a family. I am a believer that even upon the first time these two people meets, the attraction is a strong force given by God, But what makes it not Godly, are the intentions from both party, somehow you will sense it if its right or wrong. In this present time, it is not easy to find a holy man, I havent met one in my entire life. One thing I'm sure for a fact is that there are plenty of people who wanted to be good, it's how two people are put together to learn from one another. For both sides to push hard one another to learn to adjust to the needs of each one. Jesus has not gone through anything easy in his lifetime, but his decisions are what makes him what he is that we admire to carry to now. Sadly, the woman in the bible arent provided emotional needs in most stories, but had served their purpose.

dalyn · Mar 6, 2017

But if I may say, life is diferrent living the Christian faith, around believers, being with a man who acts the Christian faith. Living outside of it is a struggle. It is why I am here, to ready myself for every encounters with the evil. I am not strong without God with me.

MadebyHim · Mar 8, 2017

Matthew 6:25-34 [Full Chapter]
[ Do Not Worry ] “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? ...

Put trust in God, not man. God always has a plan and sometimes we are doing opposite of what His plan is. We have a choice to move forward, stay the same, move backwards, its our choice. Jesus is the only way to step forward and not get stagnet or take steps backward.

Jimbone · Mar 8, 2017

I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time right now. Life and this world are like that, and it has no sympathy for your struggles either. The ONLY way we overcome, the ONLY hope we have, the ONLY way we find true peace, the very way we were created to be, is through Jesus. The only way your husband, or anyone for that matter, can find true peace is in Christ as well. You never mentioned in your post, but what is his view on Jesus? Regardless of all that, I pray that God guides both of you, the kids, especially the young daughter to whatever outcome that brings His name glory, and that He bless your whole family with the peace and direction that leads to Him and all Truth, in Jesus name I pray. Amen.

elliepoppins · Mar 10, 2017

It makes me sad to see that there's an awful lot of judgement against you in this thread, when only God can judge us in the end. This man clearly isn't treating you or your children well, and that makes me incredibly sad as, no matter what your circumstance is or mistakes you have made (unmarried etc), you don't deserve to be vilified for it.

I am praying for you and that you can get out of this toxic situation. My advice would be to find a shelter or stay with a relative until you can get back on your feet. Be brave, and take courage in that God is with you and loves you. And remember: your children come first, and they love you more than anything. You can face anything with your family and your Lord beside you: "She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." (Proverbs 31:25)

x

kim12345 · Mar 11, 2017

Dr. Laura always said "Just raise your kids and when your done then get involved with a boyfriend or remarry but dont subject your kids to a new relationship it just makes a Mess for the children"
Put your kid First and worry about your love life later!

Dude653 · Mar 11, 2017

good riddance.

BillG · Mar 11, 2017

dalyn said:

None of us is strong without God.
When we walk without regard to God then we are walking in the flesh and not in the spirit.

Thats why should continually remember that we need God, not only God but each other.

If we walk with each other in the spirit then we love each other, build each other up.

Boyfriend leaving me because of my daughter

Mommyof2

Guest

Senior Member

Senior Member

sojames

Guest

Ugly

Guest

Senior Member

Banned

Senior Member

Senior Member

Depleted

Guest

Senior Member

Ariel82

Guest

Junior Member

Junior Member

Senior Member

Senior Member

elliepoppins

Guest

Senior Member

Senior Member

Senior Member