How do you all decrease your stress levels?

[OwzK]

After I learned, years ago, that I create my own stress levels...... not external sources, I simply choose not to feed them once I notice some tightness.

We create our own stress levels, and they come from us internally and from our thoughts and not externally? But how? Like external things do influence what can make us stressed right?

How do you.. not feed it?

 

[PANCAKES]

I meditate/ think deeply on God and focus on what he has done in my life already and who he is... Instead of asking for peace, i say thank you as i know his spirit dwells within me.. its a growing process as i am always constantly renewing my mind to who he is and who i am now as a new creation in Christ, and i am becoming more and more secure and at peace with things and problems that i face in life...

Romans 6:11 says we should consider ourselves dead to sin but alive in God in Christ...I see it this way, to disagree with God is a type of sin.. the world and its problems will always try to convince a person to disagree with what God says and his promises.. being alive to what the world says/sin makes a person unbalanced and insecure because it will always bombard a persons carnal mind... Colossians 3:2 says to set our minds on things above and not earthly things.

John 16:33 says Jesus overcame the world, and i don't have to stare at the ground anymore, but instead
i can choose to look up believing the truth. What i do is a lifestyle though.. and it has changed my life. I don't stress much, if i do,i turn my focus back to God, because im not trying to be alive to something dead.

Helpful thanks.

 

[Depleted]

Please help a sister out and don't just say "I read the bible...", give me specific things you do or meditate on that decrease your stress levels

I'll start. Last night I told God every. single. worry. that I have right now, it took me about an hour (eye roll) and I fell asleep right after. I remember the emotional burden being lifted from my shoulders as I neared the end of the list.

Your turn

I have a good cry?

 

[Depleted]

Believe it or not, saying "I read the Bible" is a perfectly real and valid answer.



Reading ANY portion of scripture has the spiritual effect of REFOCUSING your MIND,
away from YOURSELF and back onto GOD.

So, "reading the Bible" is a very real answer.

God tells us we are transformed by the renewing of our mind.

Rom 12:2 "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind,"



If reading the Bible has no SUBSTANTIAL effect on you,
then either you aren't saved,
or you've never read the Bible enough to see the effects.

Well, she asked for specifics. I can attest to reading Isaiah, Jeremiah, and the first half of Job do NOT lower my stress levels. The Law sure doesn't do it. Revelations would make me go all wombatier.

So... so, since I'm now allowed to say "I read the Bible," Psalms, Proverbs, Ruth, Gospel of John, and when I need a good dose of logic, Romans does work for me. (If I need a good dose of emotional, Song of Solomon does it for me. But. I'm a girl. So no idea if it does it for guys. )

 

[Depleted]

I usually try to walk around the source of my stress or solve the problem that's stressing me out. But its not always possible to remove yourself from stressful situations, people, jobs, etc.. That's when I say the heck with it, have a couple beers, and plow forward . I often compare my situation to the stress of being beaten half to death and crucified, and that seems to remove any self-pity and complaining about how tough things are for myself. All things are relative, what stresses us out today might seem like a picnic tomorrow.

I think chocolate works better than beer.

 

[Depleted]

We create our own stress levels, and they come from us internally and from our thoughts and not externally? But how? Like external things do influence what can make us stressed right?

How do you.. not feed it?

Actually, for me, stress isn't something I create. It's the sincere knowledge that God is, yet again, taking me where I do NOT want to go.
-- I like knowing where my next meal is coming from.
-- I like knowing how to pay the bills.
-- I like knowing I get a bed under a roof tonight. Better yet, for this month.
-- I like knowing I will physically make it through this day. (Or, at least, it's a fairly good assumption. Who ever knows if they're about to be in an accident?)
-- And I really, really like knowing hubby will make it through this day too. (Again, with same assumption as before.)

Stress is when one of those things isn't guaranteed to happen. Bigger stress when one of those things seems inevitable NOT to happen.

Stress is the extreme knowledge we really aren't in control of our lives. Sure, we all know God is, but when we cannot predict how God is going to do this oh-so-important-thing at this particular moment, that "know" shakes like an 8.X earthquake to our very core.

I'm not in control of that either.

 

[Jeshuvan]

there are many ways to relieve anxiety.I am an endurance athelete and running or walking briskley helps reduce it.Also biblically in the book of PsALMS IT STATES THAT PRAISE is calming and peaceful.Last my wife taught me this,every morning before u do anything,first pray and study Gods Word= bible. put God first.Then at night last thing u do is pray ,study bible and thank God for all in the day.Lay down and count your blessings.This recipe is life transforming.Any situation u can have in life,the solution is always Jesus and his word.Look at Philipians 4:4-13 and Matthew 4:1-11 even Jesus used the word when tempted by satan it works he had to flee.God Bless u hope this helps u.

 

[JosephsDreams]

I pray, and also use breathing techniques. I look at the big picture too.

 

[maxwel]

You assume too much.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry - James1:19.

Your suggestion was not helpful. You didn't understand my question, AND there was no love in your post.


Let me re-write the first part of my post and see if you'll understand it more clearly:

"Please help a sister out and don't just say "I read the bible..." Please give me specific things you have thought about and done (Looking for bible verses or bible studies) that have helped you in times of great stress. Don't just give me a verse, TELL me about how that verse affected you and how it "...renewed your mind." Rom 12:2. What led you from point A...to point B etc.

I love the word, and study it daily. I only wanted a personal and specific account of biblical stress relief that you personally have to tell. I probably should have elaborated in a bit more detail my question.

1. I think I understood you perfectly.


2. I was pointing out that reading the bible, in a GENERAL way, is in fact a very SPECIFIC kind of stress relief.

I also gave very specific reasons for why this was so.


3. I'm sorry if this offended you, but I thought my response was very reasonable, very biblical, and very appropriate for someone undergoing great stress.


4. To be very very specific, about my personal experiences, and what has helped me through specific difficulties...

I read the Bible in a very general way.

All of it.

All of it is good at refocusing your mind, and thus calming your mind and spirit.


5. Some people get more comfort from various portions. For me personally, any portion of scripture refocuses my mind on God, calms me, and somehow, miraculously, also gives me specific insights into my problems.




* I'm sorry if this wasn't the answer you wanted, but it is a very real answer, a very personal answer, and a very biblical answer.

* If you read the bible a lot, you will recognize that God doesn't always give the answers WE LIKE...
he often gives the answer HE LIKES.

 

[Willie-T]

After I learned, years ago, that I create my own stress levels...... not external sources, I simply choose not to feed them once I notice some tightness.

We create our own stress levels, and they come from us internally and from our thoughts and not externally? But how? Like external things do influence what can make us stressed right?

How do you.. not feed it?

Here's a little taste for you.
*******
Stress and The Role of Perception (Appraisal)

"Our perceptions not any objective reality govern our emotional response and resulting behaviour. Perceptions are based on beliefs, assumptions, values and conditioning. We can dramatically reduce our stress by changing our distorted perceptions. Our distorted thinking can exaggerate our perceived shortcomings. We often paint events much worse, than they actually are by our distorted thinking, this greatly increases our stress . . . . . changing distorted perceptions . . . . is an essential stress management tool."
(Dr Valeri O'Hara PhD, Clinical Psychologist)

One of the most important tennants of stress management is the role that perception plays in stress. Most people believe that it is external stressful situations or people that cause their stress but this is not 100% accurate, if it were, everybody who was exposed to a particular stressor would be affected, but this is not the case. Stress is not a black and white issue of "Cause and Effect". It is the result of a number of complex and interacting factors such as the interaction between the stressors and our perception of the stressors. How we perceive/appraise an event (stressor) plays a very large role in whether the stressor triggers our fight/flight response. For example if our perception is influenced by a negative, pessimistic thinking style the potential event will be perceived as more of a threat than say another person exposed to the same potential stressful event but who has a flexible, non-rigid, optimistic thinking style.

Some stressors are universally painful and stressful to most of us such as the death of a loved one. Fortunately, these Major Life Event stressors are relatively rare; most of the stressors we encounter occur on a daily basis and are known as daily hassles. Our perception of these every day, non-life event, stressors, depends very much on our individual perception of those particular stressors.

An example of a daily hassle is a traffic jam. One person in the traffic jam may sit and fume becoming very angry at the delay, but another person in the same traffic jam may quietly accept the situation, calmly read a book and think that getting upset or irritable wont move the car one millimetre further. This is the same potential stressor for both drivers, yet two different responses and this is partly due to the perceptions of the event by both individuals.

Stress researcher and Psychologist Doctor Richard Lazarus developed the Transactional model of stress which does not view the stressor or the person as the cause of stress; he says :

"Stress resides neither in the situation nor in the person, it depends on a transaction between the two."
(Dr Richard Lazarus, PhD, Clinical Psychologist )

An individual's perception is influenced by many factors such as:

•Our beliefs

•Our level of pessimism or optimism

•Our Locus of Control

•Our degree of stress hardiness

We will discuss these factors in more detail throughout Session 5.

For most challenging situations stress is not an automatic reaction. We make two appraisals which influence the fight/flight response:

1.Whether the event is a threat/stressful,

2.Whether we feel we will be able to cope with it.

So, whether the fight/flight response is triggered in response to a situation depends on our perception of how threatening the situation is to us, often we perceive an event as being more of a threat than it really is. This is then coupled with the belief that our ability to cope with it is less than it really is. We can often make a "flag pole out of a match stick," or "add 2 and 2 and get 5." Research has shown that 85% of the things we worry about never happen. How many of us have really worried about an event, yet when the event happened it was not as bad as we had thought it would be?

Research indicates that our personality traits can be one factor in stress and that our perception of ourselves and the world in general is partly linked to our personality. Now, this does not mean that because it is our personality and perception that we cannot learn alternative ways of delaing with our difficulties. It is possible to change our perception from an unrealistic, inaccurate one, to a more realistic and accurate assessment.

 

[maxwel]

Here's a little taste for you.
*******




Research indicates that our personality traits can be one factor in stress and that our perception of ourselves and the world in general is partly linked to our personality. Now, this does not mean that because it is our personality and perception that we cannot learn alternative ways of delaing with our difficulties. It is possible to change our perception from an unrealistic, inaccurate one, to a more realistic and accurate assessment.

This is so true.

Willie's personality traits are definitely one factor in stress.


Wait, was he talking about his own stress?

 

[Willie-T]

This is so true.
Willie's personality traits are definitely one factor in stress.

Wait, was he talking about his own stress?

The key is alternative methods.........

I used to get uptight, but I have found that one or two drive-by shootings a week do the trick. (But it is best to divide them up between three or four neighborhoods in several different cities.)

 

[maxwel]

The key is alternative methods.........

I used to get uptight, but I have found that one or two drive-by shootings a week do the trick. (But it is best to divide them up between three or four neighborhoods in several different cities.)

This is GREAT advice!

AMAZING!!!


Hey, along with advice, do you also provide bail?

 

[kaylagrl]

Please help a sister out and don't just say "I read the bible...", give me specific things you do or meditate on that decrease your stress levels

I'll start. Last night I told God every. single. worry. that I have right now, it took me about an hour (eye roll) and I fell asleep right after. I remember the emotional burden being lifted from my shoulders as I neared the end of the list.

Your turn

Ive always been a person that has a hard time sleeping.Im a very light sleeper when I can actually fall asleep. But when I was young my mother told me to start praying to get to sleep because the devil doesn't want you to pray and therefore Id go to sleep faster. Poor mom that must have been on those nights she was too tired to come up with anything to shut me up.lol

I cant read,it wakes me up.Im a thinker so I cant read. Lately Ive been going to youtube and listening to sounds of rain or the ocean to help me sleep.It helps me focus on good things and not all the cares of the world.Before I know it Im asleep.

 

[OwzK]

Here's a little taste for you.
*******
Stress and The Role of Perception (Appraisal)

"Our perceptions not any objective reality govern our emotional response and resulting behaviour. Perceptions are based on beliefs, assumptions, values and conditioning. We can dramatically reduce our stress by changing our distorted perceptions. Our distorted thinking can exaggerate our perceived shortcomings. We often paint events much worse, than they actually are by our distorted thinking, this greatly increases our stress . . . . . changing distorted perceptions . . . . is an essential stress management tool."
(Dr Valeri O'Hara PhD, Clinical Psychologist)

One of the most important tennants of stress management is the role that perception plays in stress. Most people believe that it is external stressful situations or people that cause their stress but this is not 100% accurate, if it were, everybody who was exposed to a particular stressor would be affected, but this is not the case. Stress is not a black and white issue of "Cause and Effect". It is the result of a number of complex and interacting factors such as the interaction between the stressors and our perception of the stressors. How we perceive/appraise an event (stressor) plays a very large role in whether the stressor triggers our fight/flight response. For example if our perception is influenced by a negative, pessimistic thinking style the potential event will be perceived as more of a threat than say another person exposed to the same potential stressful event but who has a flexible, non-rigid, optimistic thinking style.

Some stressors are universally painful and stressful to most of us such as the death of a loved one. Fortunately, these Major Life Event stressors are relatively rare; most of the stressors we encounter occur on a daily basis and are known as daily hassles. Our perception of these every day, non-life event, stressors, depends very much on our individual perception of those particular stressors.

An example of a daily hassle is a traffic jam. One person in the traffic jam may sit and fume becoming very angry at the delay, but another person in the same traffic jam may quietly accept the situation, calmly read a book and think that getting upset or irritable wont move the car one millimetre further. This is the same potential stressor for both drivers, yet two different responses and this is partly due to the perceptions of the event by both individuals.

Stress researcher and Psychologist Doctor Richard Lazarus developed the Transactional model of stress which does not view the stressor or the person as the cause of stress; he says :

"Stress resides neither in the situation nor in the person, it depends on a transaction between the two."
(Dr Richard Lazarus, PhD, Clinical Psychologist )

An individual's perception is influenced by many factors such as:

•Our beliefs

•Our level of pessimism or optimism

•Our Locus of Control

•Our degree of stress hardiness

We will discuss these factors in more detail throughout Session 5.

For most challenging situations stress is not an automatic reaction. We make two appraisals which influence the fight/flight response:

1.Whether the event is a threat/stressful,

2.Whether we feel we will be able to cope with it.

So, whether the fight/flight response is triggered in response to a situation depends on our perception of how threatening the situation is to us, often we perceive an event as being more of a threat than it really is. This is then coupled with the belief that our ability to cope with it is less than it really is. We can often make a "flag pole out of a match stick," or "add 2 and 2 and get 5." Research has shown that 85% of the things we worry about never happen. How many of us have really worried about an event, yet when the event happened it was not as bad as we had thought it would be?

Research indicates that our personality traits can be one factor in stress and that our perception of ourselves and the world in general is partly linked to our personality. Now, this does not mean that because it is our personality and perception that we cannot learn alternative ways of delaing with our difficulties. It is possible to change our perception from an unrealistic, inaccurate one, to a more realistic and accurate assessment.

Thank you SO much for giving this advice and for taking the time to explain in great detail

So this is all about our perception of events... like in the example you said with the 2 guys in a traffic jam with one person being very angry, while the other calm and relaxed waiting for the situation to pass, with no worry in the world. To deal with most situations, we just need to think positively and in a reasonable way? Like, be realistic in how you expect stuff to happen, not overly negative as this will cause stress and worry?

But sometimes, with dangerous situations. Like most of the time I am on constant alert if someone would try to attack me. So that I can be ready in order to take care of the situation. Like, if I was too relaxed, I would be vulnerable to getting attacked, but if I am too on alert, then I also put myself in a bad situation with bad stress and worry... meaning I need a balance of the 2? Be ready, and alert, but not too cautious?

And in general, what we need is just to think in a realistic, but positive (not overly positive, must be realistic) way? So with anger for example, if someone is like mouthing off about you behind your back. And then the natura reaction for me I'd say is to get angry and want to deal with that person. Instead of getting angry and beating up that person, I should just remain calm, know why the situation happened and deal with the situation in a calm way? Not let that anger me?

Also with sadness stress levels, or worry. Like to remind yourself whatever you're going through that everyone is going through the same thing. That everyone has the same worries and issues and that you are not alone. And use that to make me relax and be calm in the situation instead of worrying like mad?

I would like to be able to be calm. As a person I am a bit nervous, short tempered and have a massive grudge. But if I started intercepting things in a more positive and maybe realistic way then I wouldn't get the problems I get with worry, sadness or extreme anger?

 

[Depleted]

I think Willie and Max could go on the road with their comedy. lol

 

[Depleted]

Ive always been a person that has a hard time sleeping.Im a very light sleeper when I can actually fall asleep. But when I was young my mother told me to start praying to get to sleep because the devil doesn't want you to pray and therefore Id go to sleep faster. Poor mom that must have been on those nights she was too tired to come up with anything to shut me up.lol

I cant read,it wakes me up.Im a thinker so I cant read. Lately Ive been going to youtube and listening to sounds of rain or the ocean to help me sleep.It helps me focus on good things and not all the cares of the world.Before I know it Im asleep.

Are you always tired? If you really are a lighter sleeper then the two are connected. Our bodies need deep sleep to function properly. So, if you are always tired go to see a sleep doctor. It's a science now. There are causes that can be treated.

Also, I have insomnia. One of the things that bugs me when I can't sleep is I'm not thinking about anything for up to an hour before giving up on falling asleep anyway. I miss not writing my novel now because at least back then, I had something I could think about before falling asleep. Added bonus: I often dreamed of the characters in one form or another. (They could be my brothers, cartoon animals, or the real characters themselves, but when I woke up and figured out who they were acting like, it always landed on who they really were. lol)

 

[Depleted]

Thank you SO much for giving this advice and for taking the time to explain in great detail

So this is all about our perception of events... like in the example you said with the 2 guys in a traffic jam with one person being very angry, while the other calm and relaxed waiting for the situation to pass, with no worry in the world. To deal with most situations, we just need to think positively and in a reasonable way? Like, be realistic in how you expect stuff to happen, not overly negative as this will cause stress and worry?

But sometimes, with dangerous situations. Like most of the time I am on constant alert if someone would try to attack me. So that I can be ready in order to take care of the situation. Like, if I was too relaxed, I would be vulnerable to getting attacked, but if I am too on alert, then I also put myself in a bad situation with bad stress and worry... meaning I need a balance of the 2? Be ready, and alert, but not too cautious?

And in general, what we need is just to think in a realistic, but positive (not overly positive, must be realistic) way? So with anger for example, if someone is like mouthing off about you behind your back. And then the natura reaction for me I'd say is to get angry and want to deal with that person. Instead of getting angry and beating up that person, I should just remain calm, know why the situation happened and deal with the situation in a calm way? Not let that anger me?

Also with sadness stress levels, or worry. Like to remind yourself whatever you're going through that everyone is going through the same thing. That everyone has the same worries and issues and that you are not alone. And use that to make me relax and be calm in the situation instead of worrying like mad?

I would like to be able to be calm. As a person I am a bit nervous, short tempered and have a massive grudge. But if I started intercepting things in a more positive and maybe realistic way then I wouldn't get the problems I get with worry, sadness or extreme anger?

I live in Philly, so traffic is assumed here. Traffic jams? I've gotten to the point where I can almost predict them by what hour it is, (and not just rush hour traffic. I also deal with sporting events, concerts, shows, and politicians coming to town that are guaranteed to overwhelm our roads. Even 10-10:30 AM and 2-3:30 PM are jamming times, because that's when those of us not going to work tend to go on the roads. lol) Do I have a realistic expectation on jams? IDK. I like them. I cannot sing. I'm so bad yowling cats ask me to knock it off. BUT leave me in the car by myself where no one else can hear me, and I'm singing as loud as I want to songs I love. So, the only time it bothers me is when I forgot to refill the gas tank and I'm worried I'll run out of gas before it's over. (Also, traffic is a game. Do I win that spot, or do I let someone else win that spot? lol)

Worried about being attacked? I know Philly enough to know where I shouldn't be. Outside of that, how prepared can I be? The only way someone can attack me is to sneak up on me. Okay? They sneaked well enough not to get caught. Then I deal with it when I have to. I've never been attacked in Philadelphia and I've lived here since 1991. I was attacked on an empty road with nothing but fields on both sides of it in the boondocks of Jersey. There is no way to prepare for an attack. There's only what you will do if attacked. I'd rather not waste my time constantly worried about it.

Someone mouths off at me? It really depends on what else is going on. Is it worth dealing with? And if I feel it is, what other problems can that cause? A doctor spent MY appointment time telling me I was a hypochondriac, a liar, and a disgusting pig. Did I want to respond? Of course, but the thing he said I was lying about was "no one can be on three blood thinners, once more four." We were talking about my husband, who I still wanted to visit in the hospital that day and was incredibly weak and getting weaker, because he WAS on four blood thinners, losing blood so much he needed three units of blood in two days, and I certainly didn't want to waste my time with that doctor arguing when I could be spending time with my hubby, who needed me. Later on, I could prove to him I wasn't a hypochondriac too, but by that time it just wasn't worth it to face that jackass again. There's a cost for sticking up for ourselves. If it cost too much to bother with or if it changes nothing, it's wasted effort.

Most of the time we get angry with other people over some slight, we spend far more time nursing that wound than the person spends even remembering the event. Think I'm a disgusting pig? Okay. That's your problem, (Genrally "you," not specifically you), not mine. Think I'm a hypochondriac? Okay. So what? Think I'm a liar? That one is sheerly related to future events. If I need you to trust me later on for something important, I'll try to convince you I'm not. If we part ways, exactly why should I defend myself?

Insults really aren't as important as we think they are. Most people will listen to the gossip at the cost of someone else, but the reasonable people will judge for themselves the reality of the charges. Most of the time, the insulter is the one that loses trust, not the insulted. (Also, my logic why I rarely defend myself on this site.)

The best axiom I received when I was young has taught me not to take minor crap so hard:
At 20, I cared about what people thought about me.
At 40, I stopped worrying about what people thought of me.
At 60, I realized people weren't thinking about me.

Think about it. Even after you judge someone for whatever, how long after that have you forgotten all about that person? AND, how often do you even take the time to think about another person? Aren't you spending most of your time thinking about you? Seriously? That's true for most of us. So, why waste time wondering about what others think of you when in reality they, too, are busy thinking about themselves?

Realize you're in the spotlight a lot less often than you fear, and there is that calm you'd like. I'm pretty sure I haven't been attacked because I simply look like the type of person not worth noticing. I'm just not important enough for someone so obsessed with self that they'd take time out to notice me. (I can even sing loudly in a traffic jam and beat my hands on the steering wheel, yet no one ever noticed the strange old lady next to them screaming along to Neil Diamond of Janis Joplin. lol)

At least, I think. Then again, I'm not noticing most others because I too am absorbed with me.

 

[Willie-T]

Thank you SO much for giving this advice and for taking the time to explain in great detail

So this is all about our perception of events... like in the example you said with the 2 guys in a traffic jam with one person being very angry, while the other calm and relaxed waiting for the situation to pass, with no worry in the world. To deal with most situations, we just need to think positively and in a reasonable way? Like, be realistic in how you expect stuff to happen, not overly negative as this will cause stress and worry?

But sometimes, with dangerous situations. Like most of the time I am on constant alert if someone would try to attack me. So that I can be ready in order to take care of the situation. Like, if I was too relaxed, I would be vulnerable to getting attacked, but if I am too on alert, then I also put myself in a bad situation with bad stress and worry... meaning I need a balance of the 2? Be ready, and alert, but not too cautious?

And in general, what we need is just to think in a realistic, but positive (not overly positive, must be realistic) way? So with anger for example, if someone is like mouthing off about you behind your back. And then the natura reaction for me I'd say is to get angry and want to deal with that person. Instead of getting angry and beating up that person, I should just remain calm, know why the situation happened and deal with the situation in a calm way? Not let that anger me?

Also with sadness stress levels, or worry. Like to remind yourself whatever you're going through that everyone is going through the same thing. That everyone has the same worries and issues and that you are not alone. And use that to make me relax and be calm in the situation instead of worrying like mad?

I would like to be able to be calm. As a person I am a bit nervous, short tempered and have a massive grudge. But if I started intercepting things in a more positive and maybe realistic way then I wouldn't get the problems I get with worry, sadness or extreme anger?

Before I got too old to deal with it, I taught weekly classes to ex-offenders concerning the understanding of, and the use of, REBT in our daily lives. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is akin to CT, Cognitive Therapy, in that both deal with learning to reduce excessive emotional reactions to events that occur in our lives.

In simple terms, all this means is that if we recognize all the elements in a particular happening, (or as many as we can, with the information available to us) we can far more easily respond in a manner that is less reactively emotional, than if we go off half-cocked..... reflecting only what is necessarily a reflexive, knee-jerk response to the immediate stimulus.

Suppose, prior to that traffic accident, you had been driving down the road in a car that hadn't yet been wrecked. (I'm taking us back to a happier time, transportation wise. LOL) Someone swerves in front of you, cutting you off and nearly hitting you. "No!" you might say, "That wasn't just 'Someone', it was a careless, thoughtless Jackass who had no concern for anyone else on the road!"

You would be mad, right? Fuming! And justifiably so....... or so you rationalize. (If we can say that our thinking is always rational.) But, a few blocks on down the road, you see the same car smashed into a light pole. Both rationalization and justification, together, kick in this time. "Aha! I knew it! That fool got what he deserves."

Your anger actually gets over-ridden with your smugness. You stop your vehicle... more to gloat and possibly give him a piece of your mind than because of any desire to help.

Until it dawns on you. You hear one of the first-responders state that he must have been having a heart attack, one that probably began several minutes earlier. (about the time he would have passed you)

Are you seeing the point I am making? Your initial assessment was all wrong. Had you have been armed and prone to Road Rage, you just might have fired off a couple of rounds at that inconsiderate, selfish idiot.................. Two minutes ago.

I don't want to hog the thread, so may I simply suggest that you do a bit of research, and Google "REBT" for yourself. You just might discover the first step in learning how to use a tool that can help you reduce a lot of stress in your life. (There's far more to it than I can go into here.)

 

[Iamstuck]

I prefer to talk to someone if i feel lonely