H
Hi all,
My name is Hao, I am in my late 20s (that still counts as young adult, right? ) and I live in the United Kingdom. I was born in China and came to England when I was 8 years old with my parents. I have come to a few realizations recently that encouraged me to seek out a Christian community, although I'll be upfront and honest - I am not a Christian and I am not seeking to become one. I would however very much appreciate your advice and guidance. Apologies in advance for wall of text...
My Realizations:
Questions
Many thanks if you've read all that, any answers and/or general advice would be much appreciated.
Sincerely,
Hao
My name is Hao, I am in my late 20s (that still counts as young adult, right? ) and I live in the United Kingdom. I was born in China and came to England when I was 8 years old with my parents. I have come to a few realizations recently that encouraged me to seek out a Christian community, although I'll be upfront and honest - I am not a Christian and I am not seeking to become one. I would however very much appreciate your advice and guidance. Apologies in advance for wall of text...
My Realizations:
- I have been at least somewhat unhappy since I was ~12 years old and I've probably been depressed on and off ever since. I did very well at school, so my parents assumed that I was fine and I thought I was fine, but I now realize that I did well at school in spite of my unhappiness, and when life got harder as I got older, I stopped coping and my life kinda fell apart.
- I realized that I am unhappy because ever since my school friends split into different cliques and changed (or perhaps "matured", depending on how you look at it) to fit into those cliques, I have never truly felt at home in any community. I've always had individual friends, but not a settled group of friends. For a long time I felt like I didn't need a community, but now I think that was just a coping mechanism to deal with daily realities.
- Growing up as an only child and with no other Chinese boys my age nearby until I was older, I've often felt totally alone. Don't get me wrong, I always had the unconditional love of Mum and Dad, and I am very grateful for that, but that's not the same as growing up with people I can relate to.
- I realized that I was very proud and judgmental. I refused to compromise in order to fit in anywhere, because I felt that I was right and everyone else was faking it to fit in. Now I wonder if perhaps I am to blame for my own failure to appreciate the differences of other people?
- The result is that I ended up feeling too British for the Chinese people I met at University (too materialistic, shallow etc) and too Chinese for the British (everything seems to revolve around binge drinking) and I found faults in nearly every group I came across. Obviously I am generalizing here, I know better than most to not judge individuals on stereotypes. I have resolved to be more tolerant and understanding in the future, but truthfully, I don't know where to draw the line between "be yourself!" and "tolerate differences".
- I realized that although I have never really been religious, I hold many core Christian values that are sadly eroded in our modern world, including the importance of the family unit, community and respect for women. I am repulsed by the modern trends of selfishness, materialism and promiscuity, which seems to represent a general culture of escapism and short term hedonism, and an utterly irresponsible attitude to personal responsibility and effect on other other individuals and society as a whole.
- I realized that although I did not like all the Christians I have met (I believe that some of them are not true Christians and some are dangerously ignorant and fanatical), almost all of the nicest and most altruistic people I know are Christian. So if at all possible, I would like to have more good Christian people in my life.
Questions
- I have recently moved to a new city and I want to make Christian friends here. How would I go about doing that? Should I just visit my local church and attend a Sunday service there? Would it be offensive to attend Church when I am not Christian?
- I want your honest opinion, even it's harsh, on what the average Christian will think if I tell them that I do not share their faith or intend to embrace it? I do not wish to lie to people, especially on something as important as religion. Is it possible to be close friends with Christian people in the long run, if I refuse to embrace the religion myself?
- What are your thoughts on the balance between "being true to yourself" and tolerating differences between people and adapting your behaving to fit in? This sounds like a high school problem but I find that the challenge never really ends after school.
Many thanks if you've read all that, any answers and/or general advice would be much appreciated.
Sincerely,
Hao