Struggling Sexually

  • Thread starter Thread starter Steve9
  • Start date Start date
  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
S

Steve9

Guest
I apologize beforehand for this. This may be off topic but I need some help. Over the past few years I've been struggling with urges of a sexual nature. I've been praying about it and it won't go away. My urges are to be a woman. But God made me male. I don't know what else to do and feel guilty every time this urge comes up. And it's getting stronger. What can I do?
 
This may seem a strange answer but: Have you thought of WHAT about being a woman you desire?
Not saying you have to share it, just that YOU should know.

Trust me, I'd much rather be male. It's not a sexual perspective, it's just that some things about being a woman isn't all that fun.
 
I don't really know. Im just drawn to it. I wish I wasnt. But it relieves stress when I think about it. I know it's wrong.
 
Steve9 said:
I apologize beforehand for this. This may be off topic but I need some help. Over the past few years I've been struggling with urges of a sexual nature. I've been praying about it and it won't go away. My urges are to be a woman. But God made me male. I don't know what else to do and feel guilty every time this urge comes up. And it's getting stronger. What can I do?
Click to expand...
No need to apologize my friend, you should never have to apologize in seeking help:) wwjd asked a very insightful question that may allow us to help you further, what about being a women makes you want to be one? You don't have to say it openly if you wish you can pm me if you are comfortable talking to me about me I can assure you i do not judge and I only wish to help however i can.

But as for why it grows stronger and why no matter how much you pray it won't go away the answer to that can vary sometimes it's because we are not focusing enough of God himself, because if all our hearts eyes see is him if all we crave and desire is a deeper love and connection with him then everything else fades away it's like we are blind to anything else.

Sometimes it is an attack by the enemy trying to wear us down which of course in which case means we are a threat to him and this case we cannot rely on our own strength or how well we don't give into sin because then all we will is a weak filthy sinner trust me i have been there many times. in these kinds of situations we must believe and remember that it was never our own strength or our own holiness that matters rather it was always God's.

Other times we burdened with certain crosses that seem to be impossible unfair and simply downright wrong but often times such crosses are given to us to build us up and to bring us closer to God
 
Well I don't mind saying it on here. The more that gets out, the more help. Growing up I didn't have the most manly father. I was always drawn to femininity more than masculinity. I mostly went to my mom for stuff and still mostly do today. My urges peaked when I started dressing up as a girl when I was young. Nobody ever found out. I didn't think much of it then. And it also didnt help that I didn't get much female attention which drove me more into feeling this way as a medicating thing. So to speak as compromising. Now, because I am still waiting to get married to,have sex, my urges have been only getting stronger. And the fall into porn addiction has changed my tastes. I'm not attracted to women and much anymore. My confusion plays into this as I like everything about femininity which God did not plan for me. I have even dressed up fully as a woman. The more I fight the stronger it gets. This is thorn in my side. And it's only hurting myself and a future relationship with my future wife that I want.
 
You don't need to apologize or feel guilty..I am assuming that you are a Christian so i don't need to remind you that
your sins are dead and that old identity of wanting to be female is dead too..The urge comes when you take the focus off God and put it on yourself... I know because every time i fell into old sin habits that was always the cause. Matthew 16:24 talks about denying yourself and picking up your cross. Denying your own old identity and picking up the righteousness of God.. you have to let that old thing go, and you also have to renew your mind.. Romans 12:2 also talks about this and not to conform to the world.. your conformity came when you wanted/ agreed to identifying with women rather than men
so in short.. deny yourself, put your focus on God and God's will... and renew your mind/focus to the things of God and the Kingdom... when you do this you become transformed and truth become manifest in your life.
 
I've tried time and time again. I refocus my life back on God and then a few days later get a strong urge. Its a cycle I don't know I'll get rid of. I keep praying for strength but I can't do it on my strength.
 
Steve9 said:
Well I don't mind saying it on here. The more that gets out, the more help. Growing up I didn't have the most manly father. I was always drawn to femininity more than masculinity. I mostly went to my mom for stuff and still mostly do today. My urges peaked when I started dressing up as a girl when I was young. Nobody ever found out. I didn't think much of it then. And it also didnt help that I didn't get much female attention which drove me more into feeling this way as a medicating thing. So to speak as compromising. Now, because I am still waiting to get married to,have sex, my urges have been only getting stronger. And the fall into porn addiction has changed my tastes. I'm not attracted to women and much anymore. My confusion plays into this as I like everything about femininity which God did not plan for me. I have even dressed up fully as a woman. The more I fight the stronger it gets. This is thorn in my side. And it's only hurting myself and a future relationship with my future wife that I want.
Click to expand...
You know I am known to be kind of feminine I love all kinds of beauty and flowers growing up in a house of women i am keen on what make up and what clothes look good and am often asked to give my opinion I am tender and soft i cry at romantic movies and sad movies and in all honesty i have dressed up in make up high heels and a dress twice once because my sisters payed me a lot of money to do it and the second time just to be silly and make everyone laugh because that's just how i am i am upbeat carefree and silly.

But you know I have struggled with unbeatable problems that even to this I cannot overcome and the more I fought them the worse they got, i have a very strong caffeine addiction that i have never been able to overcome i can't even fight it I simply am not even close to strong enough I have prayed many times and many ave prayed for me but it seemed to me that when I tried to fight the addiction all i did was wear myself down because i was fighting it with my own strength instead of trusting God.

I found that the more I sought after God and the more I hungered after him the less and less my addiction had any kind of power over me, true it never really went away but I felt like chains were being lifted from me i was able to find love and peace and joy in everyday life even with this thorn in my side and I was able to make a closer connection to God and develop a much deeper love and bond from this thorn in my side because it forced me to lean rely and to focus on him more than anything else.

I cannot say if this thorn is going to go away for you but know that things are hardly ever as they appear sometimes we are purposely allowed certain thorns so that we will focus seek and hunger for him
 
Steve9 said:
I've tried time and time again. I refocus my life back on God and then a few days later get a strong urge. Its a cycle I don't know I'll get rid of. I keep praying for strength but I can't do it on my strength.
Click to expand...

Exactly you can't do it on your own strength you hit the nail on the head my friend:)
 
But since I can't do it on my own would God understand my struggles with this? Along with porn and fighting the urge to dress up? I know He loves me more than I could ever imagine but why has this urge been given to me? Why do I want to be a woman so badly?
 
Ive been where you are, even to the point that I believed Id rather be dead than have to live as male.

The enemy likes to lead us to be completely focused on the wrong things, even obsessed with them, in order to lead us to do what we know is wrong. They will even lead you to sorrow and grief if they can get you that far into it.

But, you dont have to follow what they press on you. I know the feelings youre dealing with, Ive been there and all that : p But the thing about feelings, they can change with the right mindset. Its entirely possible to change whats in your heart, if you let yourself make that first step.

Its pointless to become so worried about this form we take, we both know that it will age and die and rot. No matter how much work we put into it, it will be taken away. And when we reach those final days in this form, those days in the past that we lived "to their fullest" will be completely meaningless at that time. Memories are great and all sure, but how much do they help us in times of struggle?

Its entirely possible to change your focus, and to let go of things of the flesh. I and many other Christians have done it : p

You can totally talk with me if youd like someone to talk about this with.
 
[video=youtube;kw6WRcaih48]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kw6WRcaih48[/video]
 
Then how should address the issue of my sexual preference? As in dressing for men in which slightly attracted to. Just try to change my focus? And try and stop the porn use?
 
It honstely feels like im,beating a dead horse with how I keep trying and failing.
 
Steve9 said:
It honstely feels like im,beating a dead horse with how I keep trying and failing.
Click to expand...

Absolutely, put it in your heart that you want to make the change. Try not to let yourself enjoy these thoughts and focus on whats right. Make Him your focus.

Take time for prayer, especially when tempted. Even when you are busy, when those thoughts come into your head, combat them with silent prayer. Reach out to Him as much as you can, and believe that He is watching and listening, and willing to help you if you are willing to turn away from it.

And dont let the fact that you fail lead you to give up and give in. The last thing you want to do is forget about Him and enjoy the few years you have in whatever way you want.

I hear alot of people say that fasting is a good way to get your mind off of things like this. I also hear that helping others is beneficial, too. But it all comes down to a willingness to turn from desires and to turn your heart to Him. You can totally do it, you are on the right path asking for help : p

Ill pray for you. Dont let the enemy bring you down, even if you were to get everything youve ever dreamed of, how long would it be until you desired something else? He has given us all that we need already : p He can totally help if you seek Him.
 
Steve9 said:
It honstely feels like im,beating a dead horse with how I keep trying and failing.
Click to expand...

Then let go of the stick and stop trying... even better just bury it and ignore it since its already dead..If you keep focusing on your problem you give life to it, when in reality you are to consider yourself dead to sin Romans 6:11 .. The answer to your problem was in my first post .. You need to deny yourself (freedom from self), stop looking at yourself and your circumstance and focus on God.
 
Steve9 said:
But since I can't do it on my own would God understand my struggles with this? Along with porn and fighting the urge to dress up? I know He loves me more than I could ever imagine but why has this urge been given to me? Why do I want to be a woman so badly?
Click to expand...

You know even Jesus needed help to carry his cross up the hill and he was God, if even he needed help to carry his heavy burden it is no surprise we ourselves only being human need help to carry our own. Believe me he understands more than anyone more than even you. We don't always know why things happen to us or why we are given certain things and many have asked the same question why me why was i burdened with this how can I possibly beat this?

But believe me my friend I am living proof that God can and will use all the horrible bad things in our lives for good, if you read my testimony perhaps you will see what I mean:)
 
Steve9 said:
Then how should address the issue of my sexual preference? As in dressing for men in which slightly attracted to. Just try to change my focus? And try and stop the porn use?
Click to expand...
Yes focus on God focus on getting to know him focus on creating a deep and personal relationship with him, Seek first the kingdom of God and all other things will be given to you :)
 
Steve9 said:
I will try my best.
Click to expand...

Keep in mind, temptation isnt sin. The ideas coming into your head are not sin. Letting yourself decide they are pleasing and following them out are, but just the thoughts coming into your head is not.

Dont let yourself be discouraged that its happening to you. The fact that you have come to Christ does not mean the enemy will leave you alone, they just work harder now : p
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back