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What about the 47.6% of women who don't have babies?
Man! My eyes have been opened wide over this. At first I couldn't figure out why anyone would ask if we can work. Now I can't believe the number of people who assume the woman's job is to take care of the children and house.
Heads up. We had a one-bedroom apartment. Not like I worked 8 hours a day and then had to come home and clean my mansion. It was a one-bedroom, and then a two-bedroom apartment. He cooks. (Granted, we set it up that whoever comes home first is the one who cooks dinner, but 80% of the time that was him doing the cooking.) He also has to teach me how the new vacuum cleaner works. (No mechanical ability, so, if it's mechanical, he has to teach me how it works.) BUT if he wants the floor vacuumed, he can do it, and if I want it vacuumed, I can. He dusted yesterday, while I did dishes.
Of course, I'm his help mate. But he's my help mate too.
At the end of my working life I had an in-home business. The downstairs had to be clean all the time, because customers were coming all the time. So I did that. And, I was home first, so I made dinner. And he did dishes, fixed toilets, and hoses, and car, and whatever else needed fixing. He also cleaned the upstairs. lol
And when I became disabled, he took the laundry up and down for me.
And when he became disabled, I did. (Because I am less disabled then him.)
This is called "marriage." We're a team. And no where does it say in the Bible that the woman must stay home in the kitchen. It's team effort.
Man! My eyes have been opened wide over this. At first I couldn't figure out why anyone would ask if we can work. Now I can't believe the number of people who assume the woman's job is to take care of the children and house.
Heads up. We had a one-bedroom apartment. Not like I worked 8 hours a day and then had to come home and clean my mansion. It was a one-bedroom, and then a two-bedroom apartment. He cooks. (Granted, we set it up that whoever comes home first is the one who cooks dinner, but 80% of the time that was him doing the cooking.) He also has to teach me how the new vacuum cleaner works. (No mechanical ability, so, if it's mechanical, he has to teach me how it works.) BUT if he wants the floor vacuumed, he can do it, and if I want it vacuumed, I can. He dusted yesterday, while I did dishes.
Of course, I'm his help mate. But he's my help mate too.
At the end of my working life I had an in-home business. The downstairs had to be clean all the time, because customers were coming all the time. So I did that. And, I was home first, so I made dinner. And he did dishes, fixed toilets, and hoses, and car, and whatever else needed fixing. He also cleaned the upstairs. lol
And when I became disabled, he took the laundry up and down for me.
And when he became disabled, I did. (Because I am less disabled then him.)
This is called "marriage." We're a team. And no where does it say in the Bible that the woman must stay home in the kitchen. It's team effort.
[SUP]17 [/SUP]And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him....Col.3...whether that is at home or at work or whatever you do...beyond any other
rule, love conquers all
rule, love conquers all
G
I'm a former stay-at-home mom. For eight years I was blessed to be able to stay at home with my children at a time in my life that I thought (and still do) it was the best for my family. However, my circumstances changed, as did my opinion, and I now work two jobs, about 70 hours a week. I in no way feel that I am going against God's will. You can't black-and-white whether or not a woman should work. There are way too many scenarios. If it is necessary for a woman to work, then God will bless. He blesses me every single day. When I'm asked how I'm able to work so much, I simply say, "By the grace of God."
if I had it to do over, 'this is mom', this is just me now, I would never leave by babies sides,
for as long as they chose to stay with me, for I know now that I was unable to prepare
them for the world and what laid before them...
I would want to be like the mother hens and the mother gorillas who constantly nurse and
hold their babies, even when they don't want to be held - when looking back, I can clearly
see my many faults in mothering; like they say, you need to have a good mother to help you
be a good mother...please don't feel bad, for I did my best...
for as long as they chose to stay with me, for I know now that I was unable to prepare
them for the world and what laid before them...
I would want to be like the mother hens and the mother gorillas who constantly nurse and
hold their babies, even when they don't want to be held
- when looking back, I can clearlysee my many faults in mothering; like they say, you need to have a good mother to help you
be a good mother...please don't feel bad, for I did my best...
============================================
Lynn,
your very personal witness about your marriage with John was a blessing to behold/read...
you both are in a very small group in the very fact that you 'both-take-good-care' of
one another, the best that you can at this stage of your marriage...
satan's goal, is of course to DESTROY the FAMILY/UNIT, nation-wide, it looks like
he is going strong and steady, by accomplishing his goals...
when the 'family-unit-nest' is weakened, then the 'towns-cities-globe...
this is a hard-cutting REALITY, it all starts at home...
Lynn,
your very personal witness about your marriage with John was a blessing to behold/read...
you both are in a very small group in the very fact that you 'both-take-good-care' of
one another, the best that you can at this stage of your marriage...
satan's goal, is of course to DESTROY the FAMILY/UNIT, nation-wide, it looks like
he is going strong and steady, by accomplishing his goals...
when the 'family-unit-nest' is weakened, then the 'towns-cities-globe...
this is a hard-cutting REALITY, it all starts at home...
And this is why I so strenuously object to the KJV and its modern counterparts. Many of the words translated represent culture, not universal Biblical principle. King James did not like women, so he made sure women were nothing in the Bible. Phoebe was a "servant" but all the men, for whom the SAME word was used were "deacons." Talk about BAD exegetics!
Then there is that "help meet," or "helper" in Genesis 2:18,20.
"Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him" Gen. 2:18
"The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam [FONT=Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]there was not found a helper [/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]fit for him." Gen. 2:20. ESV[/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]All the versions I checked seemed to use this word.But what does the word mean in Hebrew?[/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Well, the word is kenegdo-ezer. First, kenegdo means "as in front of him." It means the the creation of this "helper" for Adam will correspond to him. Thus the new creation will be neither superior or inferior, but an equal. The creation of this helper will form one half of a polarity and will be to man as the South Pole is to the North Pole. She will be his strongest ally in pursuing God's purposes and his first road block when he veers off course.
Ezer is the really important word here. The word appears 21 time in the OT. It is used twice for the women in Genesis 2:12,20. Three times for nations to whom Israel appealed for military aid, (Isa. 30:5; Eze. 12:14; Daniel 11:34).
But it appears most in relationship to God as Israel's helper - 16 times!
(Ex. 18:4; Deut. 33:7, 26, 29; Psalm 20:2; 33:20; 70:5;89:19; 115:9, 10, 11; 121:1-2; 1234:8; 146:5 Hosea 13:9)
So in fact, not just a "helper" but a STRONG helper. For consistent understanding of words, we do have to check how the word is used in other situations. We cannot change the meanings of words to make it suit our theology. In fact, that is what the translators have done. Certain versions, like the ESV are unabashedly complimentarian, meaning men are in control, women obey. (Oops! I mean, submit, like the bible actually says - a voluntary act!)
All 21 of the times ezer is used in the Bible, it is in a military sense. Israel seeks military aid from her neighbours. God is his people's "shield and defence," "better than chariots and horses," standing sentry watch over his people."
Even Eden fits this pattern. The command to rule and subdue put God's image bearers on high alert that fierce resistance lay ahead. God commanded the man to keep or guard the garden, by using military language later used to the cherubim who guarded the garden with a flaming sword. The reason, of course, is that a powerful Enemy was already plotting an attack.
Putting the facts together, it is obvious that the ezer is a warrior! God deploys the ezer to break the man's aloneness by soldiering with him wholeheartedly and at full strength for God's gracious kingdom. The man needs everything she bring to their global mission.
Someone asked about reading the genealogies a while back. Interesting to find that men were called "Eli-ezer" and "Abi-ezer" and just plan "Ezer." Even a recent Israeli military pilot was called "Ezer Weizman."
So why is this important to the discussion? Descriptions of woman as dependent, needly, vulnerable, deferential, helpless, leaderless, or weak, are simply wrong - the betray cultural biases. The ezer is a warrior! Like the man, she is also God's creative masterpiece - she is fearfully and wonderfully made. The image-bearer responsibilities to reflect God to the world and to rule and subdue on his behalf still rest on her shoulders, too!
In the garden, Adam didn't need someone to do laundry, pick up after him, or manage his home. If Adam must think, decide, protect, or provide for the woman, she actually becomes a burden on him- not much help when you think about it. The kind of help the man needs demands full deployment of her strength, her gifts, and the best she has to offer.
As for the children, there is this myth that the children will be damaged it if their mother does not stay at home. In fact, studies have shown that consistent and loving care is all that young children really need. And yes, that means both parents contributing, loving and sharing the burden of raising the children.
When my children were young, we didn't have enough money to make ends meet. But I had a teaching degree, and I was able to work part time. There was a recession on when I graduated, and even a north community in BC didn't have job openings. I am grateful to God that I was able to spend time with my small children. But when a part time job opening in teaching music opened up, my husband and I agreed it was vital I take the job. Child care was an issue, sadly, because we trusted people in our church who were not fit for the job. But God led me to better babysitters. Were were able to save every penny, and put a downpayment down on a house. We could never have done that if I had not worked.
I look at my children and their spouses. One of my DIL's is a doctor. She works long, hard hours sometimes. But, then she also gets time off - and she choses to spend it with her children. They are in an excellent daycare, so well adjusted and happy. Then, there is my stay-at-home DIL. Those kids are never dressed. She bribes them with chocolate chips. They throw the most terrible temper tantrums. They disobey and mock their parents openly. I pray so much for those kids, because that stay-at-home mom simply doesn't have the smarts to raise those kids properly. I have talked over child raising with her so many times, I almost lost access to my grandkids.
If someone feels that being a stay at home mom is important, and feel God is leading them in that direction, AND you can afford it, then go for it. But, if you are doing it because you feel guilted out, because someone told you a woman is just a "helper" then tell that person you are a warrior of God. Tell them your gifts lie elsewhere.
The thing that probably bothers me most about women not working out of the home, is seeing what it did to my mother. She was an extremely smart woman, with top marks in her high school every year, especially in math. She married my father, and did work - she put my father through university. When his job was secure, she got pregnant, quit her job and never worked again. First, my siblings and I have a LOT of issues. I won't say more, but sometimes I think we would have been much better off being raised by babysitters, and my mom being happy.
And of course, children grow up! So, if your whole world has been taking care of your children in your 20's and 30's and maybe even early 40's, then what? Well, my mom became a neurotic, frustrated, anxious, OCD mess. Her life was empty. True, volunteering might have helped, but she was a woman who needed a good career. And so from age 53, when my much younger sister finally left home, to today - age 87, she has had 34 years of golfing, replaced by sitting in a chair, then a bed when her hip and then knee went, and she couldn't golf anymore. It breaks my heart. Then there was MIL. She was a German housekeeper. But my FIL did most of the caring for the children, when he got home from work. Sad to spend 6 hours a day washing dishes, but housework expands to fill the time, and that is all my MIL had left. When she got old and could not drive, she didn't not even get support and help from her long time church. Very sad!
So, as a warrior, if that helps your family in these difficult times, if it is God's will, then go get the best possible job and career you can find. Perhaps having parents or family babysit is another option. I know several family members that did that, and it certainly benefitted the children.
This stay at home mom, is a 1950's invention, coming out of a buoyant economy and a bad translation of the Bible. I look back at my grandmothers in the 1920's and 1930's and they worked. One grandmother had been a teacher in France, but had to work as a maid in a hotel, cleaning during the depression. Because they couldn't make ends meet! The other grandmother barely spoke English, and she ran a store, a boarding house, and bought up real estate in the downtown area of Edmonton, which she lived on in her retirement, after my grandfather passed away.
Women have ALWAYS worked outside the home. Don't fall for the lies of complimentarians who demand authority to a myth, and something that is simply not in the Bible!
[/FONT]
Then there is that "help meet," or "helper" in Genesis 2:18,20.
"Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him" Gen. 2:18
"The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam [FONT=Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]there was not found a helper [/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]fit for him." Gen. 2:20. ESV[/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]All the versions I checked seemed to use this word.But what does the word mean in Hebrew?[/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Well, the word is kenegdo-ezer. First, kenegdo means "as in front of him." It means the the creation of this "helper" for Adam will correspond to him. Thus the new creation will be neither superior or inferior, but an equal. The creation of this helper will form one half of a polarity and will be to man as the South Pole is to the North Pole. She will be his strongest ally in pursuing God's purposes and his first road block when he veers off course.
Ezer is the really important word here. The word appears 21 time in the OT. It is used twice for the women in Genesis 2:12,20. Three times for nations to whom Israel appealed for military aid, (Isa. 30:5; Eze. 12:14; Daniel 11:34).
But it appears most in relationship to God as Israel's helper - 16 times!
(Ex. 18:4; Deut. 33:7, 26, 29; Psalm 20:2; 33:20; 70:5;89:19; 115:9, 10, 11; 121:1-2; 1234:8; 146:5 Hosea 13:9)
So in fact, not just a "helper" but a STRONG helper. For consistent understanding of words, we do have to check how the word is used in other situations. We cannot change the meanings of words to make it suit our theology. In fact, that is what the translators have done. Certain versions, like the ESV are unabashedly complimentarian, meaning men are in control, women obey. (Oops! I mean, submit, like the bible actually says - a voluntary act!)
All 21 of the times ezer is used in the Bible, it is in a military sense. Israel seeks military aid from her neighbours. God is his people's "shield and defence," "better than chariots and horses," standing sentry watch over his people."
Even Eden fits this pattern. The command to rule and subdue put God's image bearers on high alert that fierce resistance lay ahead. God commanded the man to keep or guard the garden, by using military language later used to the cherubim who guarded the garden with a flaming sword. The reason, of course, is that a powerful Enemy was already plotting an attack.
Putting the facts together, it is obvious that the ezer is a warrior! God deploys the ezer to break the man's aloneness by soldiering with him wholeheartedly and at full strength for God's gracious kingdom. The man needs everything she bring to their global mission.
Someone asked about reading the genealogies a while back. Interesting to find that men were called "Eli-ezer" and "Abi-ezer" and just plan "Ezer." Even a recent Israeli military pilot was called "Ezer Weizman."
So why is this important to the discussion? Descriptions of woman as dependent, needly, vulnerable, deferential, helpless, leaderless, or weak, are simply wrong - the betray cultural biases. The ezer is a warrior! Like the man, she is also God's creative masterpiece - she is fearfully and wonderfully made. The image-bearer responsibilities to reflect God to the world and to rule and subdue on his behalf still rest on her shoulders, too!
In the garden, Adam didn't need someone to do laundry, pick up after him, or manage his home. If Adam must think, decide, protect, or provide for the woman, she actually becomes a burden on him- not much help when you think about it. The kind of help the man needs demands full deployment of her strength, her gifts, and the best she has to offer.
As for the children, there is this myth that the children will be damaged it if their mother does not stay at home. In fact, studies have shown that consistent and loving care is all that young children really need. And yes, that means both parents contributing, loving and sharing the burden of raising the children.
When my children were young, we didn't have enough money to make ends meet. But I had a teaching degree, and I was able to work part time. There was a recession on when I graduated, and even a north community in BC didn't have job openings. I am grateful to God that I was able to spend time with my small children. But when a part time job opening in teaching music opened up, my husband and I agreed it was vital I take the job. Child care was an issue, sadly, because we trusted people in our church who were not fit for the job. But God led me to better babysitters. Were were able to save every penny, and put a downpayment down on a house. We could never have done that if I had not worked.
I look at my children and their spouses. One of my DIL's is a doctor. She works long, hard hours sometimes. But, then she also gets time off - and she choses to spend it with her children. They are in an excellent daycare, so well adjusted and happy. Then, there is my stay-at-home DIL. Those kids are never dressed. She bribes them with chocolate chips. They throw the most terrible temper tantrums. They disobey and mock their parents openly. I pray so much for those kids, because that stay-at-home mom simply doesn't have the smarts to raise those kids properly. I have talked over child raising with her so many times, I almost lost access to my grandkids.
If someone feels that being a stay at home mom is important, and feel God is leading them in that direction, AND you can afford it, then go for it. But, if you are doing it because you feel guilted out, because someone told you a woman is just a "helper" then tell that person you are a warrior of God. Tell them your gifts lie elsewhere.
The thing that probably bothers me most about women not working out of the home, is seeing what it did to my mother. She was an extremely smart woman, with top marks in her high school every year, especially in math. She married my father, and did work - she put my father through university. When his job was secure, she got pregnant, quit her job and never worked again. First, my siblings and I have a LOT of issues. I won't say more, but sometimes I think we would have been much better off being raised by babysitters, and my mom being happy.
And of course, children grow up! So, if your whole world has been taking care of your children in your 20's and 30's and maybe even early 40's, then what? Well, my mom became a neurotic, frustrated, anxious, OCD mess. Her life was empty. True, volunteering might have helped, but she was a woman who needed a good career. And so from age 53, when my much younger sister finally left home, to today - age 87, she has had 34 years of golfing, replaced by sitting in a chair, then a bed when her hip and then knee went, and she couldn't golf anymore. It breaks my heart. Then there was MIL. She was a German housekeeper. But my FIL did most of the caring for the children, when he got home from work. Sad to spend 6 hours a day washing dishes, but housework expands to fill the time, and that is all my MIL had left. When she got old and could not drive, she didn't not even get support and help from her long time church. Very sad!
So, as a warrior, if that helps your family in these difficult times, if it is God's will, then go get the best possible job and career you can find. Perhaps having parents or family babysit is another option. I know several family members that did that, and it certainly benefitted the children.
This stay at home mom, is a 1950's invention, coming out of a buoyant economy and a bad translation of the Bible. I look back at my grandmothers in the 1920's and 1930's and they worked. One grandmother had been a teacher in France, but had to work as a maid in a hotel, cleaning during the depression. Because they couldn't make ends meet! The other grandmother barely spoke English, and she ran a store, a boarding house, and bought up real estate in the downtown area of Edmonton, which she lived on in her retirement, after my grandfather passed away.
Women have ALWAYS worked outside the home. Don't fall for the lies of complimentarians who demand authority to a myth, and something that is simply not in the Bible!
[/FONT]
D
I'm preparing dinner as fast as I can dial.
I had to ask on FB, "Who is making dinner tonight -- him or me?" But, yeah, I'm all for making dinner by dialing. lol