What is the funniest joke you've heard from a relative or friend?(keep it clean as po

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One of my cousins loves pointless jokes, like this one:

Have you heard the one about the man who went into the store to buy some nails and when he got back outside it was snowing?

(That's the entire joke)
 
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I put to tell the funniest jokes you've heard from "relatives" or "friends" because it is "easy" to tell a joke you make up or one you've read online but it's A "CHALLENGE" to tell the best ones "ONLY" from "relatives" or "friends" I wonder who can meet this "challenge",any takers?
 
Actually kilden the joke makes sense because first off when it snows it's too cold to work on outside work and when it snows the nails can rust from the snow making the purchase useless,not very funny but a bit of a brain teaser,here's a simple one from my grandfather...Why do birds fly south for the winter? because it's too far to walk!
 
joefizz said:
I put to tell the funniest jokes you've heard from "relatives" or "friends" because it is "easy" to tell a joke you make up or one you've read online but it's A "CHALLENGE" to tell the best ones "ONLY" from "relatives" or "friends" I wonder who can meet this "challenge",any takers?
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Not I. The jokes that I hear from those two groups of people are wholly inappropriate for CC. They are funny, or at least I laugh at them, but they are not appropriate for CC.
 
Alright, an 8-year-old I used to babysit told me this one:

What kind of lion could you find at a park?

Answer: Dandelion!
 
was talking with my mother earlier and the conversation went something like this.

*me* Hey mom did you know its legal to have a pet sloth?..
*mom* I already have a dog, and i don't want want to clean up anymore animal poop.
*me* yea but sloths poop slowly...
(long pause)
*mom* ....*sigh* -.- lol
 
My uncle is funny when he gets upset with a driver, one time a woman tailgated him real close and he was so upset that he tried opening his door three times with it closing back then he said to her out loud"jesus loves you!"got me laughing!
 
joefizz said:
I put to tell the funniest jokes you've heard from "relatives" or "friends" because it is "easy" to tell a joke you make up or one you've read online but it's A "CHALLENGE" to tell the best ones "ONLY" from "relatives" or "friends" I wonder who can meet this "challenge",any takers?
Click to expand...
BTW, I'm a literalist. So, I already gave you the funniest joke from a relative. I can't give you another, because it's not the funniest. :p
 
G00WZ said:
was talking with my mother earlier and the conversation went something like this.

*me* Hey mom did you know its legal to have a pet sloth?..
*mom* I already have a dog, and i don't want want to clean up anymore animal poop.
*me* yea but sloths poop slowly...
(long pause)
*mom* ....*sigh* -.- lol
Click to expand...

lol thats nasty when you think about it
 
A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest were good friends. At a picnic one day, the priest was eating a ham sandwich.

"You know," he said to his friend, "this ham sandwich is delicious. I know you're not supposed to eat ham, but I don't understand why such a good thing would be forbidden. When will you break down and try it?"


To which the rabbi replied, "At your wedding."
 
Three boys on the playground were bragging about their dads.

One said. "My dad scribbles a few words, calls it a song and they pay him 50 bucks."


"Oh, yah. My dad scribbles a few words, calls it a poem and they pay him 100 bucks."


"That's nothin'," said the third kid. My dad scribbles a few words, calls it a sermon and it takes six people to collect all the money!"
 
Son: Dad where do humans come from?

Dad: thinking... Hmmm.... From Adam and Eve son! They fell in love and then Here we are!

Son:The next day He asked his mother about it..."Mom where do humans come from?"

Mom: We evolved son,We came from apes!


Son: asking his father ... "Dad you told me humans came from Adam and Eve? Mom said we came from apes!!! I qm confused ....

Dad: Son... Adam and Eve from your father side... What Your mom said its your your mother side...



:D :D :D
 
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SweetmorningDew78 said:
Son: Dad where do humans come from?

Dad: thinking... Hmmm.... From Adam and Eve son! They fell in love and then Here we are!

Son:The next day He asked his mother about it..."Mom where do humans come from?"

Mom: We evolved son,We came from apes!


Son: asking his father ... "Dad you told me humans came from Adam and Eve? Mom said we came from apes!!! I qm confused ....

Dad: Son... Adam and Eve from your father side... What Your mom said its your your mother side...



:D :D :D
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that poor child lol!
 
I would say the funniest joke is my experiance at work today.
My boss got me to put the shipping orders in the trailers and I had one left over so i thought I made a mistake,
I was looking and I found the trailer i was looking for, right behind the one the guys were loading. lol

Then I tell one of the guys because I thought it was funny, and my boss comes out of the office, and he says there is one more and then your done for the day. lol

tell me that isnt funny lol.

joefizz said:
I'd say so far the best one I've heard was from my uncle and it happened to have a true story concerning a church and an alcohol place across the street,the joke was this...a church with a liquor store across from had members and a pastor whom all kept saying "we'll keep praying to God to run that liquor store out of business" then one day the pastor went to the liquor store to inquire as to why their business was still a float and the store owner said"well if you all at the church stopped buying liquor here then we would go out business actually" because no one else went there lol,a bit funny with a lesson, know what the true circumstances are "before"seeking God's help or better yet if possible fix a problem yourself,like in this story!
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2 priests walk into a bar, actually it was a barmitzva,
they were so drunk they walked past the bar and into a jewish temple.

2 lawyers took the bar, they had too the bartender couldnt afford to pay the rent and for their legal advice too.
lol
 
wwjd_kilden said:
One of my cousins loves pointless jokes, like this one:

Have you heard the one about the man who went into the store to buy some nails and when he got back outside it was snowing?

(That's the entire joke)
Click to expand...

He wanted to make his own studded car tires so he could get home from the store.
 
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