Hello everyone. Im new to Christian chat forums and I would like to make a prayer request.
Welcome to CC, sister.
To make a long story short, my soul tie was formed in adultery. I slept with another man, while being married, because I felt like I wasn't getting what I wanted at home. This man gave me an incurable disease that I can never get rid of. Herpes. Once I found out, i got really angry and publicly humiliated him by telling everyone that he had it while still wanting to be with him in the process. He also disrespected me by penetrating me with no protection knowing that it wasn't what I wanted to do. Even after all that I still wanted him and kept messing around with him knowing that he was no good for me. Whenever he wouldn't be texting me and would ignore my text messages I would get fake phone numbers and talk to him that way because any attention was satisfying for me. I would drive by his house for no reason at ALL. Ever since I slept with him ,I have serious demons tormenting me. I think about murdering him, disfiguring his face, and tortuing him.
You need to ask Jesus to forgive him if you want your Father in Heaven to forgive you.
Matthew 6:[SUP]14 [/SUP]For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:[SUP] 15 [/SUP]But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
And then ask Him for help to let him go in your thoughts & heart and to think on other things.
I also have thoughts of lesbian sex and feel like no one likes me. I often feel like I'm not pretty enough. I feel sad. I feel like I'm just worthless.
You need His help to not judge others by their outward appearance; not even in your thoughts. Being raised in a secular society where the media hypes sex appeal and the pride of life, it is no wonder good looking people get divorced because they have been feeding the wolf, and not the friendship. Even the average looking people do the same. I am doing it now by the standard of "good looking" and what is "average", but only in reference and showing how bad we got it in society.
1 John 2:[SUP]15 [/SUP]Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.[SUP] 16 [/SUP]For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.[SUP]17 [/SUP]And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.
2 Corinthians 10:[SUP]4 [/SUP](For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds
[SUP] 5 [/SUP]Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;[SUP] 6 [/SUP]And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.[SUP] 7 [/SUP]Do ye look on things after the outward appearance? if any man trust to himself that he is Christ's, let him of himself think this again, that, as he is Christ's, even so are we Christ's.
Once He helps us not to cater to society's way of thinking in judging others by their outward appearance, He may also help us not to judge ourselves by that standard. See? I am still a little self conscience and have a way to go with Him.
So I am not surprised that you would get lesbian thoughts because that is why God gave up sinners & believers to do that which is not convenient; to start having desires towards the same sex for worshiping the creature more than the Creator.
I have sown to the flesh before in writing erotic stories and the Lord punished me with a homosexual thought which came out of nowhere at work; I rejected it, repented of writing those stories and got rid of them.
You would think I would have learned my lesson before that moment when several times before, unclean spirits had afflicted me. Several supernatural encounters came about that scared me ... even when I was not sowing to the flesh;
I turned to Jesus... greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. One time, I was so scared that I had stopped going to the movies at the theater and watching TV altogether for fear of it sowing to my flesh. He got me past that period of not feeding the wolf and so He helps me be more discerning on what I watch to look away when necessary.
My wanting to escape by way of a fantasy girl was sowing to the flesh and so the battle is in the mind. I had to and still have to lean on the Lord for help to not want.. to not desire... to be content. I cannot let persecution of others and those that alienate me from having any relationship to provoke me to go inward to escape.. to be somewhere else and be with someone else. Jesus is lifting my sights higher to set my heart on the things above and not the things on the earth.
James 1:[SUP]12 [/SUP]Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.[SUP] 13 [/SUP]Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:[SUP] 14 [/SUP]But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.[SUP] 15 [/SUP]Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.[SUP]16 [/SUP]Do not err, my beloved brethren.
1 Corinthians 10:[SUP]12 [/SUP]Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.[SUP]13 [/SUP]There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
Colossians 3:1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.[SUP] 2 [/SUP]Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.[SUP] 3 [/SUP]For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.[SUP] 4 [/SUP]When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.[SUP] 5 [/SUP]Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:[SUP] 6 [/SUP]For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:[SUP]7 [/SUP]In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them.
You need to trust Him as your Good Shepherd to help you do the same in keeping your mind on good things & be content.
I've been praying and I remove myself from social media and broke all contact with him.
Restlessness and discontentment may have made those desires to sin manifest; but the consequences of your sin may be provoking you to keep you in your ways, rather than give it up and return to Him to rest in Him and be content.
1 Timohy 6:[SUP]6 [/SUP]But godliness with contentment is great gain.[SUP] 7 [/SUP]For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.[SUP]8 [/SUP]And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.
1 John 1:[SUP]3 [/SUP]That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.[SUP] 4 [/SUP]And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.[SUP] 5 [/SUP]This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.[SUP] 6 [/SUP]If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:[SUP] 7 [/SUP]But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.[SUP] 8 [/SUP]If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.[SUP]9 [/SUP]If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 3:[SUP]3 [/SUP]And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure....[SUP]8 [/SUP]He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.
2 Timothy 4:[SUP]18 [/SUP]And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Philippians 4:[SUP]6 [/SUP]Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.[SUP] 7 [/SUP]And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.[SUP] 8 [/SUP]Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.[SUP] 9 [/SUP]Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
Psalm 19:[SUP]12 [/SUP]Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults.[SUP] 13 [/SUP]Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression.[SUP]14 [/SUP]Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.
Jude 1:[SUP]24 [/SUP]Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,[SUP]25 [/SUP]To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.
I shall pray for you, sister, but I pray that you will trust the Lord as your Good Shepherd that He help you to follow Him and that you may rest and be content in Him for He is in you and is with you always.
If ever a time comes where you think He will not help you...
Mark 9:[SUP]23 [/SUP]
Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.[SUP]24 [/SUP]And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears,
Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.
And He will help you to trust Him too.