Handling an argument!!!

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renewed_hope

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Ladies and Gents.....the title says it all. We all argue and have disagreements, but how do you handle them? Are you one that lets it go or do you have to win them? Please be honest.....
 
I avoid them. I'm really not good at arguing or debating.
 
I just start doing this and they usually just back up and walk away...

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I always tell myself "How would God view how I handle this?" I state my side/view of things without name calling, or treating that other person like they are idiots. If they want to be mean, I don't let their actions have that power to change my emotions...I see it as if at a camp fire, it is not good for too many to throw in the logs, it could start a verbal forest fire.
 
95% of the time I let it go and dont get involved. Occasionally I step in when I feel something is going astray... I try not to be too heavy handed and so end up rewriting what I write many times!
 
Seekingfamily said:
I always tell myself "How would God view how I handle this?" I state my side/view of things without name calling, or treating that other person like they are idiots. If they want to be mean, I don't let their actions have that power to change my emotions...I see it as if at a camp fire, it is not good for too many to throw in the logs, it could start a verbal forest fire.
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I fully agree with you. I used to be passive aggressive and avoided conflict, but realized it wasn't healthy for my relationships or myself. A few weeks back my bf said some hurtful things and I asked and pleaded with God whether or not it was worth saying anything and I confronted him in a loving manner and expressed my feelings. Ever since that time we have never been closer.



I was curious what everyone's thoughts were on this....
 
CaptainGoat said:
95% of the time I let it go and dont get involved. Occasionally I step in when I feel something is going astray... I try not to be too heavy handed and so end up rewriting what I write many times!
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Like a parent who has to correct his or her child, I feel somewhat guilty for stepping in... Not sure guilt is the best word... Feel "Have I done the right thing or not? Have I been too heavy handed? Will the person understand what I say in the way I intended it? Etc"
 
G00WZ said:
I don't argue or deal with drama, its a waste of time.
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Well, whether you like it or not all relationships have drama....and just because people have arguments does not mean their life is full of drama. There are things that happen in any and all relationships that you disagree with and I don't find it to be a waste of time....it can bring people closer together :)
 
Sometimes we make a point because we love someone or care for them and dont want to see them taking a wrong route.
 
renewed_hope said:
Ladies and Gents.....the title says it all. We all argue and have disagreements, but how do you handle them? Are you one that lets it go or do you have to win them? Please be honest.....
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Situation dependent.

If it's a simple misunderstanding, I was generally willing to let it go but make known what my position was. I would pick and choose my battles in those situations. If the argument was something antagonized to see how I would react, then the young lady had better hang on to her hat. To me, those are games, and I won't play games. If the argument was something serious and was my fault, then I took my lumps and apologized. If it was her fault, then she'd know I wasn't pleased and I always expected (but never, ever, ever) received an apology.

Finally, if given an ultimatum "Either you do {this} OR you {that}" I'll choose OR every single time. Every. Single. Time.

Yes, I know why I'm single. Thank you. LOL
 
renewed_hope said:
Well, whether you like it or not all relationships have drama....and just because people have arguments does not mean their life is full of drama. There are things that happen in any and all relationships that you disagree with and I don't find it to be a waste of time....it can bring people closer together :)
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I didn't know we were talking about relationships
 
Very true, I am a mother...kids argue/debate. Grandmother of 2, and they argue/debate. I worked in customer service, there were arguing there..especially Burger King. I read news articles, world full of argues and debates over one thing...or another!
 
G00WZ said:
I didn't know we were talking about relationships
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Oh my goodness.....Im sorry if I made an assumption of relationships. I just figure people have disagreements with people they care about as in siblings, parents, friends and so on and so forth rather than arguing with themselves jk :p
 
renewed_hope said:
Oh my goodness.....Im sorry if I made an assumption of relationships. I just figure people have disagreements with people they care about as in siblings, parents, friends and so on and so forth rather than arguing with themselves jk :p
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I guess... i was just thinking about the BDF when i thought about how some people act in there. As for relationships with people i have some with i still prefer to negotiate something rather than argue though.
 
I don't have to have THE last word, but I would like my views to be heard, and someone to actually consider what I'm talking about and not just letting it go "in one ear, out the other". Not everyone has the right view of things...

But it also depends on the persons involved and their maturity levels with the said discussion. If one isn't willing to compromise... then it's not worth the fight to begin with.
 
I don't even argue much in the first place. It just doesn't seem worth it to me.

But honestly, if I ever got in one, I would probably win in the end anyway. People say I'm rather convincing...
 
It depends, I don't or try not to argue or debate on line. I don't see the point. I'm not saying I never have, but 99% of the time you're not going to change someone's mind.

Arguing with my Husband just happens sometimes. I've apologized and so has he. There's been a few times we've agreed to disagree. We don't always view kid's bad behavior consequences the same way, but now that we've reached the age of electronics and WI FI, punishment decisions are much easier.

When it it comes to my kid's I don't argue. They're 10 and 11, I do listen when they don't think something is fair, but they're arguments usually involve not wanting to take a shower or brush their teeth, they lose.
 
My wife gets the last word in any argument and anything that I say after that is the beginning of a new argument. :o

Proverbs 15:1 - A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
 
renewed_hope said:
Ladies and Gents.....the title says it all. We all argue and have disagreements, but how do you handle them? Are you one that lets it go or do you have to win them? Please be honest.....
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I find it veeerry interesting that you wrote the title with - not one - not two - but - three - exclamation marks... :D :p

;)
 
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