Sad and confused

[Depleted]

This is inappropriate! This woman in the OP is not married to this man. She is free to leave, and it is a good thing.

As for speaking from experiences, we all speak from our experiences, good and bad! When we see something that reminds us of something we went through, whether good or bad, we will recall it. Sometimes, a warning is necessary. An abusive relationship is not something God wants anyone to stay in, especially when she is not married to the man!

Perhaps next time, you should read at least the OP, before posting!

A. In 10 states, and D.C., they are married in a common-law marriage. They've surely consummated, and they're obviously over 18. That's it.

B. For better or worse, this is a family. I don't think it's wise to pull a family apart before knowing if it should be pulled apart.

C. Hosea! God didn't merely okay an abusive marriage, he commanded Hosea to marry the prostitute when both he and Hosea knew she was. This whole, "God would never want that" is a feeling, not a fact. Not God's word.

 

[Tommy379]

A. In 10 states, and D.C., they are married in a common-law marriage. They've surely consummated, and they're obviously over 18. That's it.

B. For better or worse, this is a family. I don't think it's wise to pull a family apart before knowing if it should be pulled apart.

C. Hosea! God didn't merely okay an abusive marriage, he commanded Hosea to marry the prostitute when both he and Hosea knew she was. This whole, "God would never want that" is a feeling, not a fact. Not God's word.

I agree with this.

 

[Tommy379]

I think Christians should stop relying on our secular governments to define and make a marriage.

I don't know if the circuit court has authority to say when God makes two, one flesh.

That being said, the original poster has mated with a man, who has offspring from another woman. This could be the root of the problem, and why God may not have no blessings for their union.

I think there is a very good reason for what Jesus stated in Matthew ch. 19, and Mark ch. 10.

 

[laura_charlotte]

Thank you we do bible study together

Keep doing this! The worst advice you can follow is not to care about studying the bible or going to church. Irrespective of whether it's with them or not, it's in God's words that will provide the clarity you require for this situations and all others you encounter in your walk with Him. The value of this cannot be overstated. As you read and obey the Word of God, your life will be transformed accordingly!

 

[CaptainGoat]

Please note that in no way did I want this to be an anti Blue Ladybug time as I like her a lot and want the best for her. (So sorry Ladybug if it seems like this).

Tommy 379. My thoughts were heading in that direction after Angela challenged me. Actually had read the original post more then once and had not noticed the point she made about the couple not being married in the first place.

While I know we need Gods blessing and storms come and go.... I will say to those who start sailing as a couple... Get the official charts first and the instruments of marriage so that when you two go through the storms, the captain knows to remain steady and on course to pass through the storms and not drift towards the rocks. One should do everything one can to save the ship if in trouble as the lifeboat of divorce is only the very last resort, where both the captain and his mate should be the very last to bail out if all goes wrong....

 

[tlc1994]

I'm sorry you have found yourself in a very confusing situation. When we give our heart to Jesus and become saved, it is very important to fellowship together with a body of other believers who can help us as we learn about Jesus and walk in His ways. I also highly suggest you find a Bible preaching church where you and your BF can plug into and start growing in your relationship with Jesus. You need other strong Christian people to help guide you in your walk and be a support to you both. When we are saved, we don't automatically become perfect Christian examples overnight and do all things right. It takes time to allow the power of God to change our lives as we study His Word and realize the areas in our life that need changing. The immediate change in salvation is that you no longer want to be your old self and desire change. I encourage you to take that next step in seeking out a church and from there some pastoral counseling. Praying for you to find the right place to start growing and learning about Jesus.

 

[blue_ladybug]

They aren't even married! She's absolutely free to leave if she wants to..

Blue Ladybug. With respect, you are speaking from past experiences which are reflecting in your posts. My concern is that you seem to be trying to break up marriages based on your experiences and not on Gods Word.

[What does Gods word say about marriage? The reason for divorce is if the opposite half has been unfaithful.
It says that if couples part for other reasons that they are not free to marry another. They must remain single or come back together to the one they had left.]

 

[CaptainGoat]

They aren't even married! She's absolutely free to leave if she wants to..

Sadly I find the concept of this to be like cheating God. Though from a legal concept you are right. (Assuming USA law is like UK law).

For me I'd want to include God in all I do, so if I get to want to spend my future with a lady, I want to marry her so that God is involved in it.

I understand this situation is a complex one in that as they've lived as they were married how does God see it? The law sees it in the UK that if one is not married one is free. It is confusing!
{Come on brain...Do your thing!}.
Well. When a man and woman have sex in Gods eyes they are joined? As God sees everything. I maybe wrong and can't think of scriptures..
Dont you just prefer things to be plain and simple? Easier on the brain!

 

[AnnieH]

Being confused sounds just about right for your situation. Please keep gathering all the wisdom you can, through prayer, through study, through a counselor who can help you untie all the strands and help you see things clearly. A pastor you trust. It's complicated because there are children involved, your bf does seem to be controlling, and you also deserve a happy, meaningful life. Please don't give up!