I really need some advice on say no...

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skater_20

Guest
#1
#1
Hey, this is my first post on this site and I only really joined because I really need some advice...how do you guys say no to girls? And by saying no, I mean saying no to sex. At first I found it kind of easy but lately it's been getting harder and harder to say no. I really don't want to end up doing something I regret by losing my virginity. It's not like I lead girls on it anyway, it's more like they come up to me and we start chatting and they next thing I know they're asking me to do something with them -.- This mostly happens at the skatepark and there's no way on earth I'm going to give up skating just because I can't say no to girls. I was wondering if anyone has any advice...I don't really have any older christian guys I can ask here...I haven't even seen my Dad in three years

Any advice would really be appreciated
Thanks
Matt
 
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jimmydiggs

Guest
#2
#2
Wear a t-shirt that says "no sex for you"? Lol, but realistically, I have pondered the question, "will I be able to avoid it in college as easily and effortlessly as I have in high school?
 
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sportygirl

Guest
#3
#3
It's all situational, you can go to the skate park and you can talk to the girls, its the deceissions you make about the girls. I would avoid situations that cause extra temptation, and if its someone your dating and truely care about than tell them how you feel and they can help hold you accountable. If they are just random girls than avoid being alone with them because those are situations in which temptation becomes extremely easy. Ive realized through past relationships and such that you have to set up boundries and pray. The boudries are important and you ahve to be willing to live up to them and keep to them.
 
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godsbluesman

Guest
#4
#4
Dude,I know how that is-one at church who is after me,but I see her with alot of different guys when not in church. All I can tell you is
that you and only you have control here.set your boundaries and do whatever it takes to enforce them.personally I find that a change of subject works or ignoring works too-when they getthe message they will leave you alone.of course,pray and seek Gods guidance,remember that your convictions are you stronghold.while i am much older than you,I have had to deal with this even at my age.be strong bro and keep your virtue.
 
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Jordan9

Guest
#5
#5
I agree with the advice. Set boundaries, have an accountability buddy (bring him to the park, too... Who wants to skate alone?) Pray without ceasing and ask God to steel your resolve.

Remember, too, that these women are daughters of God. Though she may be lost (aren't we all, in one way or another?) she is no less loved by God.

"Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us." Titus 2:2-8
 
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asamanthinketh

Guest
#6
#6
well, if you really mean what you say and your want to say no, you speak the word no, but they don't respect that

and you speak the word no, yet still can't resist, so, something else must be motivating you

BE AWARE

that's my best knowledge
 
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panda_girl

Guest
#7
#7
jimmydiggs said:
Wear a t-shirt that says "no sex for you"?
Click to expand...
And then you complete the ensamble with a pic of an Asian guy shaking his finger, lol, j/k j/k

Anyway, on a more serious note... I've kinda been in the same boat lately... not when it comes to girls... that strikes me as excedingly easy... ew... sorry... anywho... saying no to guys rather... especially when it's a guy who's hopelessly good-looking, and pretty much everything i've ever looked for in a guy (including the fact that he's christian) the only thing we don't share the same view point on is saving sex 'til after marriage... which is one thing in life that I'm very adamant about...

BUT, he does know where I stand on the subject, and, while at first he tried and tried to talk me into it, I explained stuff to him and why I wouldn't, and he backed off... but it sounds like you're not actually in a relationship right now, so... that can't really apply here...

I'm gonna guess that it's actually a lot harder for guys though, since they have a stronger sex-drive and all... so... yeah... totally gonna pray for you though!
 
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Schwager

Guest
#8
#8
jimmydiggs said:
Wear a t-shirt that says "no sex for you"? Lol, but realistically, I have pondered the question, "will I be able to avoid it in college as easily and effortlessly as I have in high school?
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NO haha the temptation gets 5x times in college!

Here is my take on it. I am always me and I dont have sex. If a woman truely likes you she would respect you enough to abide by that rule! Now you say youve been at the skatepark when this happens? By all means dont stop skating haha I know personally how much of a joy that can be! Just be yourself and share your oppinion if they do anything rude like make fun of you or go "WHAT really?!" than would you really wanted to waste it on that girl?
 
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I12NO

Guest
#9
#9
You have to break their heart and say no. Man it makes one feel awful but you have to get over it, I imagine how the Israelites felt when God told them to kill all male children when conquering a city. Just Say no and deal with the Pain. This pain will help you grow stronger. It will give you a personality and will give you courage to fight for God. I had to say no once to a girl under worst circumstances and hold myself to not commit a worst sin then i already had. It made me feel like garbage but i had to do it for Christ.
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#10
#10
When your talking to a woman you need to be more sensitive, especially about the whole sex issue, so i recommend you get right up to her and say..

GET AWAY FROM ME YOU JEZEBEL!!!!

Screaming this in her face works best.
 
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Seriously_Cool_Wife

Guest
#11
#11
Dude, really, the bible says that if your hand causes you to sin to cut it off, and if your eye causes you to sin, then it's better to pluck it out....

That's pretty desperate measures, but I think what it means is that a life lived of purity should be so important to you that everything else pales in comparison.

In your case, yes, you don't want to stop going to skate parks... so try avoiding one on one conversations and times you're alone with the girls. If you find certain girls show up at certain times, don't go when they are there. Use the buddy system, too. Make sure that there are always other guys around, and when all the other guys leave, say goodbye too and don't hang around.

Otherwise, your option is to keep being tempted or to stop going to skate parks... again, it's going to be what is most important to you.

Maybe there is a Christian Skater's group around you? Have you googled your city with Christian Skaters or something?
 
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Stuey

Senior Member
#12
Aug 17, 2009
892
4
18
#12
Lol Nod, that would work!

Alternatively you could tell them you are a christian and evangelise them on the spot.

Telling someone you are a christian is a massive turn off. :D
 
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SaintMorleyDK

Guest
#13
#13
I've learned that keeping virginity is easier when you don't want to make a mistake o.o; Its easy to say we want sex, then it is to say we could deny it, personally with myself Im a good lookin dude I think o.o; and girls like me alot but I usually ignore temptation that leads to sexual thoughts or sexual temptation. Although when the right girl comes along for you dude, God will let you know, bond a friendship first, and if you find that girl attractive over time it fades sometimes, thats how you know that it might not be right. But if that friendship grows, into something greater its best to let it flow. Be calm, be cool, and don't allow your sexual emotions rise up and take control of it, because Ive realised within relationships if sex is the focal point or becomes the focal point we become sexually immoral.....its best to wait for a girl whom you love and would like to stick around for their changes they make through life, and concider marriage. True love is hard to find, but we already know as Christians that GOD IS LOVE! :3 He will lead you to the right girl XP
 
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SaintMorleyDK

Guest
#14
#14
Stuey said:
Lol Nod, that would work!

Alternatively you could tell them you are a christian and evangelise them on the spot.

Telling someone you are a christian is a massive turn off. :D
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HAHA! I agree with you there XD But at the same time if they say they don't care they might not understand....its best to say your waiting for marriage XP
 
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SaintMorleyDK

Guest
#15
#15
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
When your talking to a woman you need to be more sensitive, especially about the whole sex issue, so i recommend you get right up to her and say..

GET AWAY FROM ME YOU JEZEBEL!!!!

Screaming this in her face works best.
Click to expand...
ROFLMAO!!! HAHA I think that you are awesome for this quote alone! LOL!
 
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demian

Guest
#16
#16
Pre marital sex is a problem. It is a sin, keep yourself pure man

Blessings

Demian
 
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karine___

Guest
#17
#17
i had no idea girls are acting like that today , it sounds scary. i would say "look didn't you know that sex before marriage is sin and sin leads to death?i'm sorry but i don't want to sin"
 
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Breelynn

Guest
#18
#18
Just start talking bible stuff with them :)
 
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redu

Guest
#19
#19
i feel your struggle brother! stay strong!

Let me say this... based off of personal experience and the experiences of the people around me

One way to repel "ungodly" girls is to preach the word to them... Invite them to church with you, pull out a bible if you are hanging out with a girl, really let them know you are about your faith. Nothing turns off an ungodly girl more than a Strong Christian man who is strong in his faith! (BUT they love Christian men that are struggling or stumbling though!

Girls that really are "Jezebels" and have no interest or love of God, will be instantly repelled and turned off...WARNING: they might even mock you or ridicule you (but luckily God outfitted us with some tough christian skin...so that won't matter!) <---- Avoid these types

TRUE Godly Girls will love your godly stance on sex and will support and encourage you <---- Seek these types

And some girls that are "lost" might respect your stance on sex and may become interested or intrigued <---- Help these types , offer them guidance and try and be that bridge to God for them so they can return to the Lord and Christ our Savior!...WARNING: some of these girls may encourage you and respect your stance on sex at first....but be warned, often times these girls will Tempt you even more than the openly Ungodly girls down the road, once you have formed a relationship with them. But as the christian man, is it up to you to remain strong and resist their advances (for they are lost)...and when you do resist their later advances (from what i've seen and or experienced)- either they will eventually fall away from you or they may start to really seek the word (Which is a beautiful thing!)

It's tough when the thing you love (skating) is done at places where temptation exists...So my advice to you is to arm yourself with the word and conviction Everyday!

What helps me when I am faced with temptation from women and sex...This is what I ask myself:

Q. Is this girl (no matter how attractive and tempting) worth Eternity in Hell?
A. No
Q. Is sex worth Eternity in Hell?
A. No (despite what the media tries to tell you!)

Hope this helps bro

God bless!
 
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jameslavander

Guest
#20
#20
The most effective way is say you have STD or Aids or any tranferrable disease through contact? Just kidding just like Breelyn said "Just start talking bible stuff with them :)" surely those unvirtuous ladies will lose interest on you.
 
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