Unattainable "Traditional" image

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social_butterfly

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Hi!!

As I mentioned in a previous thread, I'm getting married next month. (We've been dating 4 years)

My partner & I have been living together for about a year and a half. But we've been living with his best friend, his only friend, for a year and a half. His roommate is ok, sometimes he's moody with us, & very irritated with us & our dog. It's been up and down having him live with us. Some good days, some bad.

well I really wanted to get married and in talking I agreed to having our roomie stay living with us after we got married. We weren't engaged at the time, I just threw the idea out there.

well when we got engaged, I started to romanticize the idea of getting married, & buying a house & starting that traditional "typical" married life image. Our lease is up a month before our wedding so I figured it was a perfect opportunity.

Apparently im "locked" in my agreement in having to live with the roomie. We discussed it and our agreement was to stay with the roommate until about a year until we want to have kids. (We are currently 25, & were wanting to move out at 28).

His moodiness is sometimes so unbareable for me, where he's just down right rude and makes me not want to be home.

i just feel stuck. Help?
 
You are not locked into anything. Tell your husband to be that you want to start off married life together alone. This roomie sounds like a real drag and needs to be finding his own place. Is this guy staying because of financial considerations? I mean, is he contributing to the family income? Regardless, I wouldn't tolerate this situation, especially once you're married. Hopefully, your husband to be will be sensitive to your feelings and tell this guy to hit the road.

To have a successful and happy marriage you both will have to place God in the center of your relationship. I highly recommend daily bible reading, prayer and devotion each day. This will draw you closer together as a married couple and closer to God.

What you have described is a potential threat to your well being and will cause undue stress for your marriage. For your peace of mind I hope that it's resolved. Actually, you should be his best friend and not some guy who is living there and just getting in the way.
 
social_butterfly said:
Hi!!

As I mentioned in a previous thread, I'm getting married next month. (We've been dating 4 years)

My partner & I have been living together for about a year and a half. But we've been living with his best friend, his only friend, for a year and a half. His roommate is ok, sometimes he's moody with us, & very irritated with us & our dog. It's been up and down having him live with us. Some good days, some bad.

well I really wanted to get married and in talking I agreed to having our roomie stay living with us after we got married. We weren't engaged at the time, I just threw the idea out there.

well when we got engaged, I started to romanticize the idea of getting married, & buying a house & starting that traditional "typical" married life image. Our lease is up a month before our wedding so I figured it was a perfect opportunity.

Apparently im "locked" in my agreement in having to live with the roomie. We discussed it and our agreement was to stay with the roommate until about a year until we want to have kids. (We are currently 25, & were wanting to move out at 28).

His moodiness is sometimes so unbareable for me, where he's just down right rude and makes me not want to be home.

i just feel stuck. Help?
Click to expand...
Are you sure you are not living in a habit...Has he bound you in, kept the key, it sounds like you are heading for disaster, your other thread i replied to also...Maybe you should stick to one thread with the same issue, it will be more helpful...xox...
 
Rosemaryx said:
Are you sure you are not living in a habit...Has he bound you in, kept the key, it sounds like you are heading for disaster, your other thread i replied to also...Maybe you should stick to one thread with the same issue, it will be more helpful...xox...
Click to expand...
Marriage is supposed to be the happiest day of ones life, apart from giving your life to Jesus...Have you taken this up to God, have you waited for His response, your talking about your life here, you need to get serious...xox...
 
We are doing pre marital counseling, we are doing this foccus class; we've done one session and it was great! So I'm definitely looking forward to bringing these topics up.

Both. Eddie and I have agreed to live under our means. He's a nurse (RN, working for the state) and I'm a sales rep. We're mostly paid on a great salary wage, our commissions are just extra. So, we are very frugal and mindful of our spending habits. But about 80% of the reason we live we him is because of social outlets and 20% finances.

He did talk to the roommate last week and told him he needs to shape up his attitude. But I mean realistically, how long can that last? He's going to have mood swings eventually, I mean everyone does.

I just reached out to local churches to see if they have young adult, marriage groups. I am active in my church, but the young adult I am apart of comes & goes & isnt always consistent. So I started looking at other churches. I feel he needs more options for socializing. He luckily is open to counseling and will try young adult groups. So at least he's making an effort...
 
Father God, bless social_butterfly, and you be glorified, in her life, and also her married life, bless her as she needs you, and let you be glorified. Lord we agree with this prayer, and seek your blessings, Lord please bless social_butterfly, in Jesus Holy name, Amen!
 
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