My mom flipping out at a manager? WWJD

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
B

bamboozled

Guest
#1
#1
I basically google searched "Christian chat" and then signed up because honestly I can't really find anyone to talk with this stuff about. So, uh, hi.

Basically, yesterday my mom was running late dropping off my siblings for their classes and went by this drive by smoothie place. At the pickup window the employee explained how her smoothie came out runny and that he'd remake it for her. She said she was running too late for that. He said if she wanted to come back later he'd remake it for free.
Fast forward to that afternoon, she decides to drop by and pick up the free smoothie. Employee from that morning is gone. Just the manager. She tried to explain the situation, he got confused and offered a discount, mom got really mad, told him off and left. He sounded really embarrassed and was trying to make amends.

She's done this before; if a restaurant doesn't have good food she'll straight up get passive aggressive with the waiter or something along those lines. She says it's so that they can realize what's wrong with their business and fix it in the future. But...? In the long run does this matter? Does that justify being mean to another person? Is that being a Christlike example to someone who may not know Jesus? I don't think so. I've been having problems with my mom lately. She can justify everything she does and is kindof full of it. I love her and I know she loves Jesus and love others. Most of the time. I just don't know how to discuss how I feel about this behavior. (For some context, I'm 19 and still living in the house, so, I still feel like I'm under her authority even if I can technically do what I want)

TL;DR My mom gets upset ay employees and doesnt understand why that's not a Christlike example.

Anyways. I just wanted to anonymously discuss this to ANYONE because I've been upset about it all day.
 
Innerfire89

Innerfire89

Senior Member
#2
Aug 23, 2017
586
20
0
#2
That's not too Christ like. She got angry too quickly and she thought about herself and getting what she wanted right away. But everyone sins. What really maters is that she knows she's wrong and needs to repent.
Cashiers, waitresses, and fast food workers and treated pretty bad all the time by customers, it's become a nasty social norm and they can't do much about it without being fired usually.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#3
Feb 21, 2014
70,951
9,702
113
#3
Mom has anger issues and needs professional help..
 
JosephsDreams

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
#4
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
468
83
#4
The best "professional" help is Jesus.
 
PrynceNY

PrynceNY

Banned
#5
Aug 16, 2016
2,184
62
0
#5
If someone is unsatisfied with a service there's no problem telling that establishment in a respectful manner the problem. However we arent suppose to have outburst even if it is poor service. We arent suppose to treat anyone mean however if we paid for a service that was poor we have the right to give our evaluation in a respectful manner
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#6
#6
bamboozled said:
I basically google searched "Christian chat" and then signed up because honestly I can't really find anyone to talk with this stuff about. So, uh, hi.

Basically, yesterday my mom was running late dropping off my siblings for their classes and went by this drive by smoothie place. At the pickup window the employee explained how her smoothie came out runny and that he'd remake it for her. She said she was running too late for that. He said if she wanted to come back later he'd remake it for free.
Fast forward to that afternoon, she decides to drop by and pick up the free smoothie. Employee from that morning is gone. Just the manager. She tried to explain the situation, he got confused and offered a discount, mom got really mad, told him off and left. He sounded really embarrassed and was trying to make amends.

She's done this before; if a restaurant doesn't have good food she'll straight up get passive aggressive with the waiter or something along those lines. She says it's so that they can realize what's wrong with their business and fix it in the future. But...? In the long run does this matter? Does that justify being mean to another person? Is that being a Christlike example to someone who may not know Jesus? I don't think so. I've been having problems with my mom lately. She can justify everything she does and is kindof full of it. I love her and I know she loves Jesus and love others. Most of the time. I just don't know how to discuss how I feel about this behavior. (For some context, I'm 19 and still living in the house, so, I still feel like I'm under her authority even if I can technically do what I want)

TL;DR My mom gets upset ay employees and doesnt understand why that's not a Christlike example.

Anyways. I just wanted to anonymously discuss this to ANYONE because I've been upset about it all day.
Click to expand...
Steps to take:
1. Wait for Mom to be in a calm mood.
2. Ask her if she has time to talk -- really talk.
A. If she says no, ask her to let you know when she does.
B. If she does have the time, then...
3. Talk to her about this without putting off all the judgmentalism you have in this post.

It's time for you and your mom to change the relationship from boss to friend.
 
B

bamboozled

Guest
#8
#8
Thanks everyone... it felt good to talk about it to someone.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#9
Feb 21, 2014
70,951
9,702
113
#9
I've never once told off an employee because of bad service..neither has my mom, though she HAS grumbled about it later...

LOL

Depleted said:
LOL like you never had days like that?
Click to expand...
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#10
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,784
113
#10
bamboozled said:
My mom gets upset at employees and doesnt understand why that's not a Christlike example.
Click to expand...
You have not mentioned your dad. Where is he? If your dad is also a part of your family, then you should talk to him about this, and he should talk to his wife without necessarily disclosing your feelings.
 
C

celi007

Member
#11
Aug 13, 2017
37
2
0
#11
Perhaps she is going through some pain.. people that express bouts of anger really have under line unadressed pain/sadness. I t definitely is wrong for her to disrespect people my advice is talk to her in private ask her what's wrong ?? hurt people hurt people.and pray for your mom.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#12
#12
blue_ladybug said:
I've never once told off an employee because of bad service..neither has my mom, though she HAS grumbled about it later...

LOL
Click to expand...
Well, we have two things in common:
1. We're not passive-aggressive. (More just-aggressive.)
2. We're not employees.

Outside of that, we most certainly have told off people.
 
OneFaith

OneFaith

Senior Member
#13
Sep 5, 2016
2,270
369
83
#13
bamboozled said:
I basically google searched "Christian chat" and then signed up because honestly I can't really find anyone to talk with this stuff about. So, uh, hi.

Basically, yesterday my mom was running late dropping off my siblings for their classes and went by this drive by smoothie place. At the pickup window the employee explained how her smoothie came out runny and that he'd remake it for her. She said she was running too late for that. He said if she wanted to come back later he'd remake it for free.
Fast forward to that afternoon, she decides to drop by and pick up the free smoothie. Employee from that morning is gone. Just the manager. She tried to explain the situation, he got confused and offered a discount, mom got really mad, told him off and left. He sounded really embarrassed and was trying to make amends.

She's done this before; if a restaurant doesn't have good food she'll straight up get passive aggressive with the waiter or something along those lines. She says it's so that they can realize what's wrong with their business and fix it in the future. But...? In the long run does this matter? Does that justify being mean to another person? Is that being a Christlike example to someone who may not know Jesus? I don't think so. I've been having problems with my mom lately. She can justify everything she does and is kindof full of it. I love her and I know she loves Jesus and love others. Most of the time. I just don't know how to discuss how I feel about this behavior. (For some context, I'm 19 and still living in the house, so, I still feel like I'm under her authority even if I can technically do what I want)

TL;DR My mom gets upset ay employees and doesnt understand why that's not a Christlike example.

Anyways. I just wanted to anonymously discuss this to ANYONE because I've been upset about it all day.
Click to expand...
We are to show everyone Christ. "Make the most of every opportunity." "Be slow to become angry." "Do not sin in your anger." "Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."
 
M

Miri

Guest
#14
#14
Is your mum very stressed out and busy, it sounds like she might be?

When you are running around trying to do a million things in the
thick of it, even the smallest thing can get blown out of all
proportion.

If she is stressed, maybe you could offer to help a bit with things around the house
or dropping off siblings etc. It would also help with moving
that "boss relationship to friend relationship" as depleted put it. :)
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#15
#15
bamboozled said:
I basically google searched "Christian chat" and then signed up because honestly I can't really find anyone to talk with this stuff about. So, uh, hi.

Basically, yesterday my mom was running late dropping off my siblings for their classes and went by this drive by smoothie place. At the pickup window the employee explained how her smoothie came out runny and that he'd remake it for her. She said she was running too late for that. He said if she wanted to come back later he'd remake it for free.
Fast forward to that afternoon, she decides to drop by and pick up the free smoothie. Employee from that morning is gone. Just the manager. She tried to explain the situation, he got confused and offered a discount, mom got really mad, told him off and left. He sounded really embarrassed and was trying to make amends.

She's done this before; if a restaurant doesn't have good food she'll straight up get passive aggressive with the waiter or something along those lines. She says it's so that they can realize what's wrong with their business and fix it in the future. But...? In the long run does this matter? Does that justify being mean to another person? Is that being a Christlike example to someone who may not know Jesus? I don't think so. I've been having problems with my mom lately. She can justify everything she does and is kindof full of it. I love her and I know she loves Jesus and love others. Most of the time. I just don't know how to discuss how I feel about this behavior. (For some context, I'm 19 and still living in the house, so, I still feel like I'm under her authority even if I can technically do what I want)

TL;DR My mom gets upset ay employees and doesnt understand why that's not a Christlike example.

Anyways. I just wanted to anonymously discuss this to ANYONE because I've been upset about it all day.
Click to expand...

Is your mother nasty or is she direct? There is a difference and some people don't understand this. For instance my hubby is from the south and he never complains about service,never. And that is because that is how he was brought up. Me,Im northern and I show my displeasure if I do not think the service is on par for what I have paid for.Im direct but Im not nasty,I dont tell people off or cuss them out,but they do know Im displeased. Depending on the situation I may get on FB and let the company know that Im displeased with the service because I feel they need to know sometimes more than the people just working there.

That being said I went to a local Wal-mart and asked to go into a dressing room.The lady was snippy with me so I said "bad day"? And she began to just pour out her upset to me and I stayed and listened and talked to her a while. And so I take notice if someone is having a bad day and just needs someone to unload on.I dont mind,I'll listen. But I do expect certain things when I spend money and I am direct about that. So is your mom being direct or nasty? There is a difference.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#16
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#16
I was in line behind someone who was very rude to a cashier last night. When it was my turn I said, sorry you had to deal with that. She said, I'm used to it. I told her that she shouldn't have to be. I understand politely talking about an issue you might have with a policy or service, but some people take it to far.

Maybe your Mom doesn't realize how rude she sounds, she also doesn't understand the i
pact her negative behavior has on others. I think next time she starts up, record it on your phone and show it to her. I'm not saying make it go viral, just show it to her. Maybe then she'll see what's going on.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#17
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#17
Not many middle-aged women like to air this in public. But, if you are 19, your mother could be entering an age wherein she will be experiencing some hormonal swings of erratic emotionalism. Try to keep this in mind.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#18
Jun 30, 2015
25,830
13,971
113
#18
bamboozled said:
I basically google searched "Christian chat" and then signed up because honestly I can't really find anyone to talk with this stuff about. So, uh, hi.

.. My mom gets upset ay employees and doesnt understand why that's not a Christlike example.

Anyways. I just wanted to anonymously discuss this to ANYONE because I've been upset about it all day.
Click to expand...
Hello and welcome to Christian Chat! :)

I'll share a personal anecdote which may apply. Several years ago, my wife ended our marriage. I went to get professional help, because I really wanted to deal with everything that had contributed to the marital breakdown. One of the things the counselor identified was an anger problem. As I described events similar to what you described, he suggested that I had deep roots of unaddressed anger.

He gave me a strategy for dealing with the anger and suggested that, through the process, it would deal with about 80% of my anger issues. I followed his directions, and it dealt with closer to 95% of the issues. I'm a much calmer and nicer person now (not that I was constantly a bear beforehand!) and I get irritated less often, to a lesser degree, and I'm able to return to calm often before even speaking unpleasant thoughts.

While blue_ladybug's comment may have seemed flippant, I think it's good advice, because I've lived it. It sounds like your mom would benefit from a similar strategy. By the way, getting professional counseling help is basically no different than getting medical help. It's usually pride that hinders us from seeking it.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#19
Jun 30, 2015
25,830
13,971
113
#19
Nehemiah6 said:
You have not mentioned your dad. Where is he? If your dad is also a part of your family, then you should talk to him about this, and he should talk to his wife without necessarily disclosing your feelings.
Click to expand...
I respectfully disagree... very strongly. This goes against what Scripture says about going directly to the person who sinned. If and only if the husband were present and observed these events should he be the one talking to the mom. Bringing him in otherwise is only going to compound the problem.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#20
Jun 30, 2015
25,830
13,971
113
#20
kaylagrl said:
... Me,Im northern and I show my displeasure if I do not think the service is on par for what I have paid for.Im direct but Im not nasty,I dont tell people off or cuss them out,but they do know Im displeased. ...
Click to expand...
How very un-Canadian of you! ;)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.