Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
13,847
4,019
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So there's a guy who is in two of my classes this semester. I also volunteered with him over the summer in some bake sales for the actuarial club at school. We get along well, but I just wanted friendship. I mean I'm attracted to him, but I don't feel like in the right mindset to start yet another relationship. However, he asked me for coffee this morning. I went with him and it was great. He said we should get to know each other. Should I give him a chance or just tell him that I want to take time away from boys? Ugh it's hard.
No harm in giving him a chance to get to know each other better... You might be surprised to learn that he has an amazingly genuine heart... After getting to know him better - trust your heart - your spidy sense might see some red flags and you still have the option to keep him in the griend zone... Otherwise, I agree - something good could come from building a new freindship with a soul that is brave and has shown interest in you... There is something to be said for his effort...
 
U

Ugly

Guest
Ugh you weren't suppose to bring it up! :p

About the boy...he texted me that he had a great time this morning and that he hopes I agree to hang out with him again. :eek:
You've already answered your own question in your first post about it.
You're in a bad cycle. Like a guy, move forward, wrong guy, say you're done with guys for a while, meet someone else, feel you aren't ready, proceed anyways, wrong guy.... seems you never stick to what you say you will do. Then it doesn't work out and you're surprised, no matter how many times it has happened before.
Perhaps it's time to follow through and actually get your head on straight and break the cycle.
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
I'm in a bad place emotionally right now. Too many things to deal with and it's more than I can handle. I've been tasked with doing too much - much more than I should be burdened with. I'm feeling taken advantage of, angry, depressed, and I hit a low point last night. I probably ought to be ashamed of how I act, but I am not - and that's a problem. I feel entitled to be angry all the time, and I've done it for so long it's easy and it's my baseline.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,595
17,059
113
69
Tennessee
It is so hard to be a sole caretaker when at the same time trying to get your own life in order so that you may go forward in a positive direction. I pray that you get some significant help with your dad as this burden is too much for you to carry alone.
 
T

toinena

Guest
I'm in a bad place emotionally right now. Too many things to deal with and it's more than I can handle. I've been tasked with doing too much - much more than I should be burdened with. I'm feeling taken advantage of, angry, depressed, and I hit a low point last night. I probably ought to be ashamed of how I act, but I am not - and that's a problem. I feel entitled to be angry all the time, and I've done it for so long it's easy and it's my baseline.
This was a brave post. You have my sympathies and prayers.
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
13,847
4,019
113
I'm in a bad place emotionally right now. Too many things to deal with and it's more than I can handle. I've been tasked with doing too much - much more than I should be burdened with. I'm feeling taken advantage of, angry, depressed, and I hit a low point last night. I probably ought to be ashamed of how I act, but I am not - and that's a problem. I feel entitled to be angry all the time, and I've done it for so long it's easy and it's my baseline.
[FONT=&quot][h=1]Serenity Prayer[/h][h=5]- Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)[/h]
[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.




[/FONT]
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
Where do hamburgers go to dance?


The meatball!
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,646
4,305
113
So there's a guy who is in two of my classes this semester. I also volunteered with him over the summer in some bake sales for the actuarial club at school. We get along well, but I just wanted friendship. I mean I'm attracted to him, but I don't feel like in the right mindset to start yet another relationship. However, he asked me for coffee this morning. I went with him and it was great. He said we should get to know each other. Should I give him a chance or just tell him that I want to take time away from boys? Ugh it's hard.
I think you should wait a bit because its not been too long yet. But its up to you. I trust your jedgemtne.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,646
4,305
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My Husband took me out to lunch yesterday and we had a nice time. Then we walked around this Halloween store to see if they by chance had a costume of the character that my Daughter wants to be, they didn't of course. We had fun though. We haven't had fun together in a long time, it was nice.
That's awesome, Fenner! :) Glad to hear it.
 
Mar 11, 2016
3,055
242
63
Singapore
abigail.pro
I will echo Ugly here Molly. I think it would benefit your heart to focus on your other goal first?

I remember you mention something about saving your emotions for your future husband in the traffic light thread. :)

Of course, only you can assess the situation. I will pray for wisdom for you. <3 I don't want to see you get hurt again.

You've already answered your own question in your first post about it.
You're in a bad cycle. Like a guy, move forward, wrong guy, say you're done with guys for a while, meet someone else, feel you aren't ready, proceed anyways, wrong guy.... seems you never stick to what you say you will do. Then it doesn't work out and you're surprised, no matter how many times it has happened before.
Perhaps it's time to follow through and actually get your head on straight and break the cycle.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,362
9,376
113
Serenity Prayer

- Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)



God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.





THE SENILITY PRAYER:

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to meet the people I do like
And the eyesight to tell the difference.



THE SENIOR'S PRAYER

God grant me the ibuprophen to take on the things I can do despite my arthritis,
The absentmindedness to forget about the things I can't do anything about
And help me find my glasses so I can tell the difference.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
2,418
113
So there's a guy who is in two of my classes this semester. I also volunteered with him over the summer in some bake sales for the actuarial club at school. We get along well, but I just wanted friendship. I mean I'm attracted to him, but I don't feel like in the right mindset to start yet another relationship. However, he asked me for coffee this morning. I went with him and it was great. He said we should get to know each other. Should I give him a chance or just tell him that I want to take time away from boys? Ugh it's hard.
Little late with my advice because I wasn't sure what to say, but two things I can recommend to you. 1) Whether you choose to pursue this situation or not, the next time you're going to take some time off of dating or boys etc., define the time period up front. 1 month, 3 months, 1 year as long as you have it defined up front, situations like this should be a no brainer because you've already resolved that this is a no dating time for you (and if you had defined a time period before hand and now you're considering compromising, for your own sake stick to the decision you made before hormones started interfering with your good sense). 2) I vaugely remember reading a story about a guy who'd decided that he was going to avoid this one gal, he'd told his accountability partner / mentor. A short time later he ran into her at the mall and they had a nice conversation. He related the incident to his mentor talking about what a blessing from God it was to see her and how he felt that was a reward for his decision, his accountability partner replied, "That doesn't sound like a blessing from God; that sounds like a temptation and a test of your decision."

Personally I've always believed that if it was really you the guy liked and was interested in, waiting a few months for his chance shouldn't drive him away (especially if you're clear about that up front). Of course I'm perpetually boyfriendless as well so whether that is going to hold true in real life is up in the air. I just know that personally I've always thought that who you were going to have a relationship with should be a much bigger concern than just finding anyone so you can be in a relationship and not be single (not saying you personally are doing that, but that it's a general attitude I've noticed among young people).
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
2,418
113
So here's something I've been wondering about: Last week at church there were a couple instances where ladies (in particular) were talking about how they hated doing stuff alone or wouldn't go to this or that group because they didn't know anyone there. This attitude or concern has never made any sense to me, I do things alone pretty much all the time and have no qualms about joining a group that sounds like fun even if I don't know anyone when I go there. So now I'm wondering, is this because I've been single so long that I've become immune to the doing things alone or is this because of some other factors and another one of the ways that I'm just not like most people. So fellow singles, anyone else have absolutely 0 issues with going out and doing something alone?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,362
9,376
113
I hear a lot about people wishing they could go to this show or try out that new restaurant... "If only I had somebody to go with."

Uh... why do you need someone to go with?

"Well I can't just go ALONE!"

Uh... why not?

"It wouldn't be any fun!"

Uh... why not?

"It just wouldn't!"

These conversations are always frustrating for both parties and I really should just let the initial comments go, because they never can explain why they have to have somebody else in attendance and I never can understand why they can't have fun alone.
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
Thank you everyone for your thoughts about this young man. I have expressed to him that I want to get to know him as a friend first. I told him I was still emotionally damaged from the last one. He said he is a patient man and that we should both pray for God's will. We are "hanging out" together but we haven't labelled it as dating. We're just being friends. I want to be careful because at first everything looks good, I get my hopes up and then their true colors start showing and I go through a spiral of emotions. There are things I don't like about him anyways. I'm attracted to him...he's tall and medium build. He has short hair. The last one had long hair. :eek: But I don't know...he talks A LOT about himself. It can be kinda draining. LOL
So thanks ya'll I appreciate it!

I wanna point out though that I'm not a cereal dater. :p Although, that does sound delicious! I've only had three boyfriends.
1st - I was 17 and it was completely online I have never met him...he lives in Rhode Island...we're still friends.
2nd - We went on 3 dates I was 19...that was 8 years ago
3rd - We only went on ONE date...it was long distance. I was 27 years old. I haven't talked to him in 5 months.

I just wanted to point that out in case anyone here thinks I am from one guy to the next. I'm not. Sure I have crushes...but they usually don't pursue me and I need the guy to pursue. :p