Heather, it is good to see you back. And so sorry that you have gone through so much during your absence, including the death of your father.
But, I am concerned about you. One thing I learned in counselling, was that no matter what was going on in the marriage, or how bad it was, you still need lots and lots of time to recover. If you start dating, when the divorce isn't even through, you may end up "rebounding." That means, you will think the new guy is an improvement, but a year or two down the road, you will realize you have picked ex-husband #2! I tell no lies!
Have you sought counseling? This is a huge life change. Especially if you were abused, you really have to learn to see yourself and other people in a different way. And I am not judging, when I say I agree that if the divorce is not final, then it is a form of adultery, even if you don't go to bed with the guy. God does count marriage as marriage, even if it was a bad one.
So, just my opinion, but you should see a Christian counselor and try to work through a lot of things. And wait to start the dating game again, for your own sake. If you are lonely, find some girlfriends, or visit the aged, or volunteer with kids?
Anyway, God bless and I hope we can renew our friendship!